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Late Night Political Humor

Sunday, December 25, 2016

[Jokes from Dec. 8, 2016]

“For his secretary of labor, President-elect Trump has picked an executive from the fast food restaurants Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s. Afterwards, Trump admitted he made the choice on an empty stomach.” – Conan O’Brien

“Check one’s calendar because right now we are 43 days from the inauguration, and Donald Trump continues to fill out his Cabinet. Watching Trump pick these people is like watching your Nana get a sponge bath — you know it has to be done, but it’s upsetting.” – Stephen Colbert

“Yesterday, Trump named Scott Pruitt, Oklahoma attorney general and sworn enemy of the EPA, to be the head of the — what’s the word? — the EPA. I would change my phone number, or else he’s going to get some pretty angry calls from himself.” – Stephen Colbert

“So, what kind of EPA head will Pruitt be? Well, he’s repeatedly explained that he thinks the states are in the best position to regulate local industries. Makes sense. If Missouri dumps chemicals into the Mississippi River, they just tell those chemicals, ‘Remember, you stop at the Arkansas state line.” – Stephen Colbert

“There is a trend of Trump appointing people to head things they’re against. I’m looking forward to Surgeon General Joe Camel.” – Stephen Colbert

“Donald Trump’s team is reportedly desperate for an A-list celebrity to perform at his inauguration, with one official saying they can ‘do better than Kid Rock.’ Besides, Kid Rock is going to be too busy with his new job as secretary of state.” – Seth Meyers

“Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway told reporters today that Donald Trump is a huge Elton John fan. ‘That can be cured,’ said Mike Pence.” – Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump’s campaign manager Kellyanne Conway said she cannot take a position in the Trump administration because she has four young children. She said, ‘This would mean taking care of one more.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump this weekend will give his first Sunday morning news interview since the election, and it’s a big sacrifice for him because Sunday morning is usually when he tweets about ‘Saturday Night Live’.” – Seth Meyers

“During Trump’s Sunday morning news interview, he is expected to discuss the agenda for his first 100 days in office. Trump was like, ‘Wait, I have to be president for a hundred days?'” – Seth Meyers

“Hillary Clinton made her first public appearance on Capitol Hill since that whole election thing today. She was in town to honor outgoing Nevada Sen. Harry Reid and, what an impression. She showed up in black leather from head to toe, like Olivia Newton-John in the final scene of ‘Grease.’ Incredible.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Everyone’s OK, but this morning, a 6.5-magnitude earthquake hit California’s prime marijuana-growing county. Authorities swept the area, urging residents to remain even calmer.” – Conan O’Brien

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Coal in their Stockings?

Saturday, December 24, 2016

It started when progressives started donating money to Planned Parenthood in the name of VP-elect Mike Pence. Pence receives a thank-you note for every donation. Donations have surged 17 times their normal rate since the election.

But why stop there? Many progressives are now making donations to other organizations in the names of their Trump-voting friends and relatives in lieu of giving them Christmas presents. What better way to get revenge than to give a gift to a left-leaning organization? Say Merry Christmas to your jerk brother-in-law by giving a gift to the DNC, the ACLU, the Southern Poverty Law Center, or the Human Rights Campaign for LGBT equality in his name. It is the gift that will keep on giving.

Meanwhile, it looks like Democrats are going to take Robert Reich up on his idea to hold a counter event the same day as Trump’s inauguration. A concert promoter is putting together a fundraising event for the Democratic Party in Florida.

While Trump has reportedly been struggling to find entertainment willing to perform at his inauguration ceremony, top performers are “banging on the doors” of the concert promoters to play at the fundraiser.

This could be a new hobby — driving Trump supporters, and even The Donald himself, nuts. Given Trump’s notoriously thin skin, it should be a lot of fun.

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Electoral College Hypocrisy

Friday, December 23, 2016

After the 2012 election, Donald Trump thought that Barack Obama, while winning the Electoral College, lost the popular vote. Mind you, Obama actually won the popular vote, but that didn’t stop Trump from tweeting stupid things about it:

So, not only is he a complete hypocrite, he doesn’t have a firm grasp on reality, and he is only too happy to shoot off his mouth even when he doesn’t actually know what is going on.

Could this lead to problems as he assumes the presidency?

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Late Night Political Humor

Friday, December 23, 2016

[Jokes from Dec. 7, 2016]

“Donald Trump has been named Time magazine’s Person of the Year. When he found out, Trump said, ‘That’s all I ever really wanted’, and then he quit public life, never to be heard from again.” – Conan O’Brien

“Ladies and gentlemen, he did it. He won again. Donald Trump has just been named Time magazine’s Person of the Year for 2016. The shocking thing about this is that Time magazine thinks Trump is a person.” – James Corden

“Time magazine has named their Person of the Year. It’s none other than President-elect Donald Trump. He is the Person of the Year. Which is a big deal because this might be one of our last years.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump was named Time magazine’s 2016 Person of the Year this morning. While Hillary Clinton was named runner-up. And when she heard, Hillary hiked so far into the woods, she’s now living with Bran Stark.” – Seth Meyers

“So anyway, congratulations to Donald Trump, and to the photographer who got him to sit still and not tweet for 30 seconds. That’s the guy who should be Person of the Year this year.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The editors of Time magazine voted to make Donald Trump Person of the Year, although to be fair, 2.7 million more editors voted for Hillary Clinton, but the editors from Florida get more votes than editors from Rhode Island. It’s complicated.” – James Corden

“On the ‘Today’ show this morning, Time magazine announced that Donald Trump is the Person of the Year. Then Al Roker said, ‘Now let’s check out the protests happening in YOUR neck of the woods!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“I do want to distinguish, it doesn’t necessarily mean BEST Person of the Year, it’s just Person of the Year, although don’t tell Donald Trump that.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Time’s Person of the Year is quite an honor, unless you are named in the year when Zika broke out; the Earth was the hottest it has ever been; Muhammad Ali, Prince, and David Bowie died; Syria exploded; Brexit happened; and oh, Donald Trump was elected president. Congratulations! You are the face of the worst year ever.” – James Corden

“Some of the people of the year include Gandhi, Stalin, Churchill, Nixon, Putin, Obama, and Hitler. So Trump is definitely fitting in there — you decide where he fits in for yourself.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Trump won in spite of losing in Time’s online poll to Hillary Clinton. Can she win anything? Really, Hillary’s now just hoping to win a mug that says ‘World’s Best Grandma’.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump said he has asked President Obama to help recommend some of his appointments. Obama said fine, and recommended Hillary Clinton for president.” – Conan O’Brien

“Yesterday, Chinese state media called Donald Trump a ‘diplomatic rookie’ who has an ‘inability to keep his mouth shut.’ Or as Trump reported it, ‘They just called me young and outgoing! Thank you CHY-na!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump said today that he doesn’t believe that Russia interfered with his election in any way. Well, technically all he said was, ‘Nyet’.” – Seth Meyers

“Facebook has filed a patent on a system to automatically identify and remove posts containing fake news, and just after the nick of time.” – Seth Meyers

“There are reports that Trump will be getting a Goldendoodle puppy when he takes office. To teach it how to beg and roll over, they actually brought in Mitt Romney.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump is reportedly considering arriving at his inauguration by helicopter, and so is Chris Christie. ‘Take me with you! I can’t go back to New Jersey!'” – Seth Meyers

“Former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski said today that Donald Trump’s presidency will make it OK for people to say ‘Merry Christmas’ again. Corey, we’ve always been allowed to say ‘Merry Christmas’, it’s just no one says it to you.” – Seth Meyers

“A real estate agency that sells apartments inside Trump Tower is advertising the new 24-hour presence of Secret Service agents as a, quote, ‘new amenity’. While they’re advertising the eggs that hit your windows as ‘free grocery delivery’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Pope Francis has warned the media to stop spreading false information. Or as the media reported it, ‘World’s Top Rabbi Says ‘Keep Up the Good Work!'” – Conan O’Brien

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The Never-Ending Cycle?

Thursday, December 22, 2016


© Jen Sorensen

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me over and over and over again, shame on me.

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Buying Access

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

During the presidential campaign, Donald Trump and other Republicans blasted the Clinton Foundation for supposedly giving access to the Clintons for donors.

I’ve noticed that for Trump, when he complains about others doing something, it is almost a sure bet that he is doing the same thing. So it should come as no surprise that Trump himself is already up for sale. And why wait? Let’s do it as part of the inauguration!

Donald Trump’s two adult sons have started a new “charity” called the “Opening Day Foundation” (you know, sort of like the Trump Foundation). It is suspicious that the charity was founded in Texas, as neither of them live there, but hey, its Texas and they don’t have all those pesky regulations like they do in New York to get in the way of having a good time.

For the low, low donation of only $1 million, you too can get one of the following lovely prizes: a “private reception and photo opportunity for 16 guests with President Donald J. Trump”; a “multi-day hunting and/or fishing excursion for 4 guests with Donald Trump, Jr. and/or Eric Trump, and team”; as well as tickets to other events and “autographed guitars by an Opening Day 2017 performer.”

Not only that, but your identity will be kept secret, so nobody needs to know that you are bribing the children of our president. And you can write off your bribe donation, because the Trumpkins promise that “all net proceeds from the Opening Day event will be donated to conservation charities”, although they don’t name any specific charities and other quotes seem to indicate that they will mainly be “sportsman’s charities” (you can imagine what those might be). Nor do they specify how the net proceeds will be calculated, so the “expenses” could include hefty payoffs to the founders of the charity.

According to the Campaign Legal Center, a nonpartisan campaign reform organization:

This is problematic on so many levels. This is Donald Trump and the Trump family using a brand new organization to raise $1 million contributions for a vague goal of giving money to conservation charities, which seems a way of basically just selling influence and selling the ability to meet with the president.

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Late Night Political Humor

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

[Jokes from Dec. 6, 2016]

“This week, Donald Trump is going to North Carolina, Iowa, and Michigan — all states that voted for him — for his ‘Thank You’ tour. Then, he comes here to California for the ‘You’re Dead to Me’ tour.” – Conan O’Brien

“Does Trump think Twitter is like Siri for the presidency? ‘Twitter: Cancel plane order! Twitter: Appoint someone secretary of state! Twitter: [Tick] off the Chinese for me!'” – James Corden

“Donald Trump is reportedly considering a fast-food CEO for labor secretary. ‘Oh, I’m not the Burger King,’ said Newt Gingrich.” – Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump has yet to pick a secretary of state. Right now it’s between Mitt Romney and a guy spinning a sign in front of a ‘we buy gold’ shop.” – Conan O’Brien

“Vice President-elect Mike Pence attended the New York Jets game at MetLife Stadium, where the Jets lost 41-10. Pence heard so much booing, he thought he was seeing ‘Hamilton’ again.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The Cleveland Cavaliers have announced that nearly half of their players will not stay at a Trump hotel in New York out of protest. And just to drive the point home, they’re going to stay in the woods with Hillary Clinton.” – Seth Meyers

“Yesterday, Joe Biden said he’s not completely ruling out running for president in 2020, and even said ‘what the hell’. When asked what his campaign slogan would be, Biden said, ‘I just told you — ‘what the hell’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Vice President Joe Biden said yesterday that he may run for office in 2020 telling reporters, ‘What the hell, man.’ I don’t know how to tell you this, Joe, but we already elected ‘what-the-hell man’.” – Seth Meyers

“According to a new poll, only 19% of New Jersey residents approve of their governor, Chris Christie. And they’re all restaurant owners.” – Conan O’Brien

“Gov. Chris Christie currently has a 19 percent approval rating in New Jersey. The only thing less popular in New Jersey is the top button.” – Seth Meyers

“The finalists for Time’s Person of the Year include Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Mark Zuckerberg, Vladimir Putin, and Beyoncé. Putin was like, ‘Most of group is weak. But even I cannot compete with Queen Bey!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“The White House just announced a new program to teach computer science to more American schoolchildren. They say if it goes well, one day America will be able to hack its OWN election.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The Supreme Court has ruled that Samsung did not violate Apple’s patent on smartphone technology. The justices said, ‘It’s clear that Samsung came up with the idea of a phone bursting into flames all by themselves.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Today in 1884, the Washington Monument was completed, and if George Washington were here today to see it he would probably say, ‘That looks nothing like me.'” – Seth Meyers

“House Speaker Paul Ryan lit the Capitol Christmas tree today. It’s the first time anything involving Paul Ryan could be described as lit.” – Seth Meyers

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The Real Vote

Tuesday, December 20, 2016


© Signe Wilkinson

It is time for the Electoral College to go away. If not by constitutional amendment, then through the National Popular Vote Compact.

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Illegal Drug Use by Teens Drops

Monday, December 19, 2016

With all this bad news lately, it is nice to have some good news. The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) reports that drug use among US teens has hit an all-time low. And that includes alcohol and tobacco.

The drops in drug use are significant. For example, among 12th graders:

  • Abuse of prescription pain killers is down 45% over the past 5 years
  • The daily use of tobacco dropped from 22% of high school seniors 20 years ago, to 5% today.
  • The use of alcohol dropped from a high of 75% in 1975 to 56% today.

The only drug where results are mixed is marijuana. While many age groups show declining use, older teens continue to smoke weed at roughly the same rates. But at least it is not increasing, which many feared would happen after legalization happened in a number of states.

Of course, there is a completely different addiction that has been on the rise, and that is the compulsive use of social media and video games. Maybe kids are just swapping one kind of habit for another?

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Late Night Political Humor

Monday, December 19, 2016

[Jokes from Dec. 5, 2016]

“Al Gore met with Donald Trump today to discuss climate change. They probably talked about how climate change could lead to massive floods in places like New York City. Trump was like, ‘That’s why I live on the 58th floor.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Today, Al Gore met with Donald Trump to discuss climate change. To try to explain it in terms Trump would understand, Gore said, ‘The planet is getting hotter than your daughter Ivanka.'” – Conan O’Brien

“The other big news is that Trump appointed Ben Carson as his secretary of Housing and Urban Development. That means Trump talked with Ben Carson and Al Gore in the same day, which is kind of like popping an Ambien before you watch the Weather Channel.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump has nominated Ben Carson to be his secretary of Housing and Urban Development, or HUD. Incidentally, ‘hud’ is the sound that Ben Carson made when he heard the news. ‘Ben, Donald Trump is on the phone.’ ‘Hud?'” – Seth Meyers

“Congratulations are in order for Dr. Ben Carson. Do you remember him? President-elect Donald Trump picked him to run the Department of Housing and Urban Development. Which is going to be quite a surprise when he finally wakes up.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump has announced another Cabinet position. Dr. Ben Carson, who ran against him in the primary, has been nominated for secretary of Housing and Urban Development. I just get the feeling that Trump heard the word ‘urban’ and immediately decided, ‘Who do I know who’s black?'” – James Corden

“Why would he get this job? He’s a medical doctor. I feel like Donald Trump just heard the word ‘urban’ and nominated the first black friend he had.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Ben Carson has accepted Donald Trump’s offer to be secretary of Housing and Urban Development, despite previously saying he did not feel qualified to lead a governmental department. But he changed his mind because he stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.” – Seth Meyers

“Ben Carson, in case you don’t know, is a former neurosurgeon with no experience in Housing or Urban Development. This is the first time the phrase ‘Well, it’s not brain surgery’ is actually a bad thing.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Trump actually first announced this in a tweet, and it becomes official as soon as Congress retweets it. I think that’s how the U.S. government works nowadays.” – James Corden

“Trump’s been busy assembling his Cabinet. His nominees are all pretty out there. As of today, the least-controversial person in his Cabinet is a guy named ‘Mad Dog’.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump is reportedly considering two Democrats for his cabinet. That’s right — and those Democrats are Donald Trump from 1996 and Donald Trump from 2004.” – Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump is still trying to decide who to nominate for secretary of State. He’s reportedly considering David Petraeus, Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, John Bolton, and Jon Huntsman. Apparently, Trump is taking them all on a group date tonight, and one of them gets to join him in the fantasy suite.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Meanwhile, Trump announced that the CEO of Disney will be advising his transition team. Thanks to him, Trump won’t have to build a wall anymore. He’ll just charge so much for admission that nobody will want to come in.” – Jimmy Fallon

“A recent poll found that 58 percent of Americans believe Donald Trump will try to work with Democrats. Oh, Russia has Democrats? I didn’t know.” – Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump began his post-election victory tour last week. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton has wandered so far into the woods she found the Blair Witch.” – Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump reportedly invited the leader of the Philippines to the White House next year despite the fact that he previously told President Barack Obama to go to hell. Obama was like, ‘Oh, I’m already there. I’m already there.'” – Seth Meyers

“The Dakota Access oil pipeline, which the Sioux tribe has been protesting for months, will no longer be routed through their land. It’s a big win for Native Americans — and if the next 9 billion things go their way, we can finally call it even.” – James Corden

“Protesters from all over the country have gathered there. I would like to imagine the guy who was late and just got there today, like, ‘I’m here, how can I help? We did it? Yeah!'” – James Corden

“The Native American people who have been protesting announced that their fight is far from over, but for now, hippies with guitars can stop coming to help them.” – James Corden

“This is kind of a blow to the oil executives, who say they plan to regroup, re-plan, and look for alternate ways to ruin our environment. So we look forward to that.” – James Corden

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Would Sanders Have Won?

Sunday, December 18, 2016

According to an analysis published in Mother Jones, in a word, no. Not a snowball’s chance in hell.

Using the DW-NOMINATE system that ranks politicians by how liberal they are, nobody below 15 on their scale (meaning that they are less liberal than 15% of Congress) has ever won the presidency. Bernie Sanders scores a 1.

The next most liberal candidate for president was George McGovern, and he was crushed. Next was Walter Mondale, who was also crushed.

Every few years, the Democrats nominate someone is too far to the left of the country, and they lose, badly. So badly they become the butt of jokes. This is sad for us progressives, but it is just reality.

So if you think that Hillary Clinton lost because she wasn’t progressive enough to excite the Democratic Party, just remember that the Democratic Party is bigger than you might think, and includes lots of voters who are relatively conservative, even compared to Clinton.

The way to win elections is not to pick more progressive candidates. The way to win is to educate voters on the advantages of progressive policies, so they will support more progressive policies, and as a result, more progressive candidates.

UPDATE: Nate Silver has done an analysis of the voting trends before and after FBI Director James Comey sent his infamous letter to Congress. Silver stated that Comey’s letter had a “large, measurable impact on the race”. How large? Silver says that if Comey had kept quiet, then Hilary Clinton would have easily won. Silver has high credibility in this regard, as he was one of the few political analysts who predicted that Trump had a reasonable chance of winning. But when Comey’s letter was released, remaining voters turned away from Clinton, and by the time Comey sent his final letter saying that the “new” evidence was not significant, it was too late. Personally, I’m amazed that Comey has not lost his job.

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Late Night Political Humor

Saturday, December 17, 2016

[Jokes from Dec. 1, 2016]

“Donald Trump is considering Sarah Palin to be his secretary of Veterans Affairs. Palin says she’s great at helping veterans. John McCain was like, ‘Wrong’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“This is a true story: For his secretary of defense, Donald Trump has chosen a retired Marine general whose nickname is Mad Dog. So sleep well, America!” – Conan O’Brien

“It’s been reported that President-elect Trump has chosen four-star Gen. James Mattis for secretary of defense. When Trump was told the general had four stars, he said, ‘Wow, that’s a great Yelp review.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney is being mocked by many Republicans for going to a fancy French dinner with Donald Trump. It’s also not helping that afterwards, Romney let Trump get to third base.” – Conan O’Brien

“Yesterday, Jill Stein officially requested a hand recount of 4.8 million ballots in Michigan, but Donald Trump says he’s going to fight it, by shouting out other numbers while they’re trying to count.” – Jimmy Fallon

“With roughly seven weeks until he takes office, President-elect Donald Trump still has a few things he’s researching. Needs to figure out, like, ‘What does a president do?'” – Stephen Colbert

“And now we know he knows it’s not going to be that easy, because Trump surrogate and flesh snowman Newt Gingrich recently told USA Today that he talked to Trump about his new responsibilities as president and, according to Gingrich, Trump said, ‘This is really a bigger job than I thought.'” – Stephen Colbert

“What do you know? Being leader of the free world is a bit harder than filming a reality show in your apartment.” – Stephen Colbert

“The bad news is, starting Jan. 20, Donald Trump can send unblockable mass text messages to the entire nation. Yes, President Trump will be able to send text messages to every phone in the nation. The only person I would trust less with this technology is Anthony Weiner.” – Stephen Colbert

“The cereal company Kellogg’s pulled their advertising from the conservative alt-right website Breitbart News and its readers responded by calling for a boycott of all Kellogg’s products. That’s right: The culture wars have now reached cereal.” – James Corden

“Breitbart News received a lot of criticism for running questionable news stories during the election. So basically Breitbart counts as real news in the same way that Apple Jacks counts as real fruit.” – James Corden

“Kellogg’s pulled their ads because they say Breitbart promotes discrimination. It really isn’t a surprise that Kellogg’s would be sensitive about this. The mascots of one of their best-selling cereals are three male elves that all live together.’ – James Corden

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Blackmailing the President

Friday, December 16, 2016

There has been quite a bit of concern over Donald Trump’s conflicts of interest. Now, in Newsweek, Kurt Eichenwald gives specific examples of how this can cause really big problems. Like how a foreign leader could easily blackmail Trump. In fact, he even gives examples of how this is already happening:

Donald Trump hasn’t been sworn in yet, but he is already making decisions and issuing statements to world leaders that radically depart from American foreign policy, all to the benefit of his family’s corporate empire. Because of this, the next president of the United States is already vulnerable to undue influence by other nations, including through bribery and even blackmail.

That’s right, Trump is already damaging US interests.

The biggest example is Turkey:

Trump is in the process of building two Trump Towers in Istanbul, in partnership with the rich and powerful Doğan family. The family used their connections with Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan to make the project happen, but then found themselves in the midst of a corruption investigation. Erdogan, who is no fan of Trump, has turned against the Doğans, angry that they embarrassed him.

The day after our presidential election, one of the world leaders who called Trump to congratulate him was Erdogan. During the call, Trump made a point of telling the Turkish leader how important the Doğans are to him, and how much he wants to see the project go forward. Not long after that phone call, Erdogan ordered the founder of Doğan Holding and one of its highest-ranking executives – both of them singled out by name by Trump during the phone call — to be placed under arrest.

Erdogan, who has a long history of corruption, is attempting to blackmail Trump. One of Erdogan’s main political enemies, Fethullah Gulen, is living in the US, and Erdogan wants him extradited to Turkey. Until now, the US has refused because Turkey has not provided any evidence that Gulen has committed any crimes.

If Trump extradites Gulen, he will almost certainly face life in prison and torture. Or if Trump refuses, a project that will pay Trump and his family millions of dollars will be derailed.

What makes this really frightening is that if Trump gives in to Erdogan, then the leader of every country where Trump has business interests (and there’s a lot of them) will take notice. What will they ask for? Trade concessions? Cash? Military weapons? To have the US look the other way when they invade their neighbors or commit crimes, including genocide?

And that’s just one example. There are many more.

This blog has already reported about obvious conflicts of interest with the Philippines, where the president is summarily executing suspected drug users without any trial (along with, one might suspect, people he doesn’t like for other reasons). And Trump has praised him for it!

Why would Trump do that? Because Trump Tower at Century City in Makati, Philippines, is on the verge of completion. To make this even more suspicious, the president of the Philippines, Rodrigo Duterte, recently named as special envoy to the US one of Trump’s business partners in the Philippines:

The man writing millions of dollars’ worth of checks to the Trump family is the Duterte government’s special representative to the United States. To argue that these payments will be constitutional if they are paid to the Trump children, and not to Trump personally, is absurd. This conflict demands congressional hearings, and could be an impeachable offense.

The list of blatant conflicts of interest goes on and on.

For example, Argentina, where Trump has been trying to build an office project in Bueno Aires, but the government has refused to issue the permits. Trump actually called up the president of Argentina after the US election and personally asked him to deal with the permitting problems. Just three days after the call, the permits were approved, after years of delays.

It should really scare you that the president-elect of the US is calling up world leaders and asking them to do him personal favors. It is also unconstitutional, and grounds for impeachment.

Another example is Japan, where (bizarrely) Ivanka Trump sat in on what would have been a one-on-one meeting between Trump and the Japanese Prime Minister. At the same time, officials with her clothing company were working on a licensing agreement with Sanei International. The largest shareholder of Sanei’s parent company is the Development Bank of Japan, which is wholly owned by the Japanese government.

Trump claims he has turned over his businesses to his children, to avoid conflicts of interest, but then he invites them to sit in on what should be diplomatic meetings and phone calls.

Yet another example is Taiwan, whose success in playing Trump against China was widely reported, including in this blog.

This is blatant corruption of the worst kind, and it poses a grave danger to the US. It is also illegal and unconstitutional. The Newsweek article sums it up:

America is on the precipice of an unprecedented threat, as allies and enemies alike calculate whether they are dealing with a president they can please merely by enriching his children. President-elect Trump has a monumental choice before him: He can, as he promised during the campaign, protect the sanctity of the presidency — which he can do only by selling his company. Or he can remain corrupted by the conflicts between his country’s future and his family’s fortune.

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Ultimate Insider Trading

Thursday, December 15, 2016

On December 12, at 8:26am, apparently out of the blue, Donald Trump made the following tweet:

Trump tweet

The stock of Lockheed-Martin immediately dropped 4%, losing $4 billion in a few minutes.

Trump has attacked companies before. Just a week earlier, Trump attacked Boeing, causing its stock to drop 1%. Trump’s tweet that time happened an hour after a newspaper published a column by Boeing’s CEO criticizing Trump’s anti-China rhetoric.

But there was no obvious trigger for Trump’s tweet this time. Even more suspiciously, six minutes before Trump’s tweet hit the innertubes, someone started dumping large amounts of Lockheed-Martin stock, which would indicate they knew the tweet was coming.

We don’t know who was dumping stock before the tweet. Because we know almost nothing about Trump’s finances, it could have been Trump himself. Or a family member, or a friend. Chris Christie or Rudy Giuliani. Or Putin. Or someone blackmailing Trump.

Insider trading is illegal. Even worse, the president benefiting from something done by a foreign government is unconstitutional, and is grounds for impeachment.

Now that the Benghazi committee has nothing to do, maybe they should investigate this. Over and over (and over) again.

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Alternatives to Trump?

Wednesday, December 14, 2016


© Matt Bors

We are so screwed.

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