Michelle Bachmann spoke yesterday at a rally against health care reform, and attempted to whip the attendees into a frenzy with a fancy literary reference, telling the gathered teabaggers “It’s the charge of the light brigade!” Watch it yourself:
Good thing she doesn’t know that the light brigade was massacred, in that famous poem by Lord Tennyson.
Yesterday, Sarah Palin was scheduled to give do a book signing at a Costco store in Salt Lake City. So in preparation, the store … removed all the tomatoes from their shelves.
It turns out that at the Mall of America a week ago, a man was arrested for attempting to pelt Palin with a tomato. He missed, and hit a police officer instead.
People who use microblogging sites like Twitter are used to URL-shortening services like Bit.ly, Tr.im, and Tinyurl.com. But apparently those sites are not “conservative” enough, so the Republican party launched their own URL-shortening service on Monday called GOP.am, but with an annoying twist. When someone clicks on a GOP.am shortened URL, it displays the original page, but with a GOP toolbar across the top and bottom of the page (this toolbar doesn’t go away, even if you click on a link to go to a new page). It also has an animated Michael Steele, who walks around the bottom right of your browser window and even talks, as if he is showing off the web page.
So, what do you suppose happened next?
Those damn liberals took advantage of this service to point to hundreds of sex sites. The best part was that Steele was saying “Notice something different?” on this page.
But wait, there’s more! As a funny followup fail, the GOP took the service down on Tuesday in order to clean out the pornographic URLs, and when they brought it back up it had a warning “If you use GOP.am for spamming, illegal purposes or to promote lude content, your GOP.AM URL will be disabled.” They probably meant to use the word “lewd” not “lude” but then maybe they have been laying on the drugs a little too heavily lately.
On
the
twelfth
day
of
Christmas,
Wall
Streeters
gave
to
we
Twelve
Senators
corrupting,
Eleven
industries
shuttering,
Ten
percent
unemployment,
Nine
mortgages
foreclosing,
Eight‐figure
bonuses
a‐paying,
Seven
homeowners
a‐sinking,
Six
banks
a‐failing,
Five
golden
parachutes,
Four
calling
lobbyists,
Three
pink
slips,
Two
endless
wars,
and
corporate
socialism
that
is
risk
free.
(By Tim Stewart, with apologies to the original unknown author. Tim is an associate professor at the Kyoto University Institute for the Promotion of Excellence in Higher Education.)
On Sunday, Senator Joe Lieberman infuriated Democrats by announcing that he would vote against the latest compromise health care legislation, despite the fact that during the delicate crafting of the compromise he had told them he would support it. His stated reason? The compromise would allow people starting at age 55 to purchase health insurance from Medicare, which Lieberman said he could not support.
But a video turned up of Lieberman not only endorsing expanding Medicare to people over the age of 50, but trying to take credit for it as his own idea: “What I was proposing was that they have an option to buy into Medicare early.”
When confronted with the video, taken only three months ago, Lieberman replied that he did not dispute that he once supported the idea but said he did not recall having done so, or the context, until Mr. Reid’s office confronted him about it.
So why did Lieberman do such a complete flip-flop? According to the NY Times:
Mr. Lieberman could not be happier. He is right where he wants to be — at the center of the political aisle, the center of the Democrats’ efforts to win 60 votes for their sweeping health care legislation. For the moment, he is at the center of everything — and he loves it.
Indeed, in an interview yesterday, Lieberman flashed a broad grin, saying “My wife said to me, ‘Why do you always end up being the point person here?’” It is worth noting that his wife is a former pharmaceutical company executive. And during his 2006 Senate reelection campaign, Lieberman received the second highest amount of campaign contributions from the health insurance industry in the Senate.
It is no surprise that Republicans hate ACORN. After all, ACORN is an organization of community activists, and Republicans really hate our president — the community activist in chief. Even worse, ACORN mostly helps poor people, including helping them register to vote, and most of them vote Democratic.
Initially, Republicans claimed that ACORN was guilty of voter fraud because some imaginary people were fraudulently registered to vote. ACORN was never charged with any wrongdoing — and the accusations don’t even pass the smell test. Why would ACORN benefit from registering voters with made up names? They could benefit only if those imaginary people actually managed to vote.
Even more interesting was that GOP organizations were charged of registration fraud: they switched people’s registrations to Republican so they could not vote in Democratic primaries, and switched them to absentee status to prevent them from voting when they showed up at a polling place to vote. Not only that, but ACORN critic Ann Coulter was herself guilty of actual voter fraud.
Then Republicans screamed about the census, claiming that ACORN would be “in charge of going door to door and collecting data from the American public.” This too doesn’t pass the smell test, since ACORN has never been involved in the census.
Lacking any real evidence, Republicans doubled down, even alleging that ACORN stole the election for Obama.
While Republicans have been relentless in their attacks on ACORN, the real surprise is that the Democrats piled on when videos were released that seemed to show ACORN employees advising people on how to get away with illegal acts. Why would Democrats vote to defund ACORN? To prove that they have no spine?
Now it turns out that those videos were largely faked. An independent investigation found no criminal wrongdoing, and that the “scandal” was overblown by the media.
And to make the whole thing even more ironic, a judge has ruled that the bill defunding ACORN is unconstitutional. Of course, everyone already knew that, but Congress passed it anyway. So much for honoring the constitution.
I find it fascinating that many people feel like their responsibility ended after they voted for Obama and got him elected. If people really believe that the election is the only thing that mattered, then no wonder politicians act like getting elected is all that matters. On the other hand, if you actually care about what those politicians do after they get elected, then you have to do something. Otherwise, all the politicians will care about is getting as much money as possible to get reelected, and you and I know from where most of that money will be coming.
“It’s a great day for President Barack Obama. He accepted a Nobel Peace Prize in Norway. I don’t want to say this Obama love is out of control, but his acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize just won a Pulitzer Prize, and his overall performance has just won an Oscar.” – Craig Ferguson
“Big day for President Obama. He accepted his Nobel Prize today and then got right back to the business of running two wars.” – David Letterman
“The chairman of the Nobel committee remarked that Obama’s leadership is a ‘call to action,’ not to be confused with Bill Clinton’s leadership, which was a call to get action.” – Jimmy Fallon
“You know, a lot of people don’t understand why President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. Well, you know something? Look around you. Our factories, peaceful. I went to the mall this week, peaceful. They had an open house near my house, not one person came in. It’s a peaceful economy here.” – Jay Leno
“There was a lot of controversy for President Obama in Norway, because apparently, he snubbed the Norwegian royal family. He snubbed them by canceling lunch with them. And I’m like, well don’t be silly, Norwegian royal family. Even if the president doesn’t invite you, just show up and crash the party. That’s how we do it in America.'” – Craig Ferguson
“Big day for President Obama. During his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech in Norway, Obama stated, ‘Let us reach for the world that ought to be — that spark of the divine that still stirs within each of our souls.’ Obama got those words from his new speechwriter, Ken Hallmark.” – Jimmy Fallon
“The peace prize was handed out in Oslo, Norway, but Oslo’s been in the news this week because of that big swirly thing in the sky over Oslo. Wait! Wait! Strange starlike object over Oslo, right before Obama arrives, a gift of a gold medal given by a group of wise men. Nah. No. Even MSNBC are going, ‘Nah, you took it too far.'” – Craig Ferguson
“Anyway, some people say that the light was a UFO coming to welcome Obama, which is of course ridiculous. Because if it was really a UFO, they would take Joe Biden back to his home planet. ‘Come on, Joe, you’ve bothered these people long enough. Let’s go and embarrass the people of Pluto.”‘ – Craig Ferguson
“The elementary school in Indonesia where President Obama went as a child, they just unveiled a statue of him as a 10-year-old. It’s very realistic. In fact, today Biden spent, like, 20 minutes talking to it.” – Jimmy Fallon
“The sculptor said that he worked on it for, like, two months, but after he finished the ears, the rest took, like, five minutes.” – Jimmy Fallon
“It sure is cold. So cold that Osama bin Laden was seen hiding in the border region between Palm Beach and Fort Lauderdale.” – David Letterman
“Secretary Timothy Geithner confirmed today we are expected to lose $30 billion from our investment in the auto industry, to which Bernie Madoff goes, ‘Hey, I could have done better than that.'” – Jay Leno
“Well, according to Time magazine, even though college degrees costs more today, they’re worth less in the job market, which is hard to believe, isn’t it? There’s a job market?” – Jay Leno
“Senate Democrats proposed a $1.1 trillion spending bill that will provide funding for government agencies, foreign aid, and local construction projects. And also, since it’s so close to Christmas, a pony!” – Conan O’Brien
“Not such a great day for the health care reform. The so-called public option died on the Senate floor today. It could have survived, but apparently it had a pre-existing condition.” – Craig Ferguson
“According to a new poll that just came out, 44 percent of Americans wish President Bush were back in office. However it’s only 20 percent if you exclude comedy writers.” – Conan O’Brien
When the conservatives are pissed off at Obama for being too liberal, and the liberals are pissed off at Obama for being too conservative, then he must be doing something right.
On Saturday Night Live, Mark Sanford, John Edwards, and John Ensign complain because Tiger Woods is stealing their limelight:
William Shatner does an interpretive reading from Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue, and Palin gets revenge by reading from Shatner’s autobiography Up Till Now. Beam me up, Scotty:
Astroturfing is corporations creating fake “grassroots” opinions to affect legislation, and you couldn’t ask for a better example than this:
On Facebook, the political action organization “Get Health Reform Right“, which is funded by health insurance trade groups, is paying people to send anti-health care reform emails to their congressmembers. But in this case, they aren’t bribing people using real money, they are using virtual currency, which is used in various popular online games.
Normally, this virtual currency is paid to people for trying a product or service (e.g., the movie rental service NetFlix). But in this case, the political organization is paying people virtual money in exchange for them sending an email to their congressperson.
Does this work? Let’s see. The email they are asked to sign says the following:
I am concerned a new government plan could cause me to lose the employer coverage I have today. More government bureaucracy will only create more problems, not solve the ones we have.
And today, Senator Bob Bennett (R-Utah) gave a speech of the Senate floor and waved a stack of printed emails from his constituents, saying that they are “concerned a new government plan could cause me to lose the employer coverage I have today” and “more government bureaucracy will only create more problems, not solve the ones we have.”
Unfortunately, paying people to send letters to their congresspeople is not illegal — either in real or virtual currency.
UPDATE: Now the US Chamber of Commerce is giving out $150 Amex Gift Cards to Hooters as an incentive to get people to send emails opposing health care reform. Who needs health care when you can go to Hooters?
“Do you know what President Obama is doing tomorrow? And this is kind of cool, especially if you’re the president. He’s going to accept his Nobel Peace Prize. And as you know, the Nobel Prize is a predictor of the Academy Awards.” – David Letterman
“I looked this up. In the history of presidents in the United States, only two have won Nobel Prizes while they were in office. The first one, of course, Woodrow Wilson, because he is the man that they credit for ending World War I; second, Theodore Roosevelt, for, what? Yes. He invented the Teddy Bear.” – David Letterman
“Rush Limbaugh says black people are depressed because President Obama isn’t doing a very good job. That proving, once again, that no one has their finger on the pulse of the African-American community like Rush Limbaugh.” – Conan O’Brien
“The president and first lady are getting criticism from the right today. I know, who could have seen this coming? But they’re getting criticism because they sent out the White House holiday card, and it says, ‘Season’s Greetings’ on it, makes no mention of Christmas, and doesn’t have a passage from the Bible in it like the ones the Bushes used to send out. But actually, it does keep one beloved George Bush holiday card tradition alive, and that is the funny sound effect when you open the card. It wouldn’t be Christmas without that.” – Jimmy Kimmell
“[On the “GOP Purity Test] They’re like the Ten Commandments, if one of the tablets said ‘F’ and the other said ‘U.’ I believe this is perfect. A party of white Christian men who call Obama a Nazi, pushing the concept of purity.” – Stephen Colbert
“Well, President Obama’s approval rating has hit a new low — 47 percent according to the latest Gallup poll. But White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said that a ‘6-year-old with a crayon could’ come up with those same poll results. You know, I’ll bet it’s the same 6-year-old with a crayon that came up with the last budget they came out with.” – Jay Leno
“I have to say, not a great day for President Obama. A new poll shows that President Obama has the lowest approval rating of any first-year president in the history of presidents. Things are so bad today the president said the surge in Afghanistan was all Tiger Woods’s idea.” – Craig Ferguson
“A California congressman named Joe Baca has announced he’s no longer pursuing legislation that would have given Tiger Woods the Congressional Gold Medal. He released a statement saying, ‘In light of the fact that Tiger has comported himself in a manner utterly lacking in character, dignity, and ethical integrity, I am withdrawing Tiger Woods from consideration for the Congressional Gold Medal and instead I’m recommending that he run for Congress.'” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Congress was hard at work today trying to come up with a fair playoff system for college football. Congress was working on this. Meanwhile, the NCAA spent the afternoon kicking around ideas for how to win the war in Afghanistan.” – Jimmy Fallon
“They were like, the real issue wasn’t health care, two wars and unemployment, it’s who gets to play in the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Speaking of the budget, in his speech on the economy, President Obama said that we have to ‘continue to spend our way out’ of the recession. Now, I don’t know much about economics, but aren’t we like a trillion dollars in debt? Spending our way out of the recession? Isn’t that like trying to drink your way out of alcoholism? I’m just saying.” – Jay Leno
“The Salahis — now these are the people that crashed the state dinner at the White House for the prime minister of India. It looks like they’re going to be subpoenaed now by the House Homeland Security committee, and I’m thinking why bother? They’d probably show up anyway.” – David Letterman
“And as you know, Santa Claus is working very hard with his elves to make sure every child gets at least one toy this Christmas, or as Glenn Beck calls that, ‘socialism.'” – Jay Leno
“Well, did you hear about this, ladies and gentlemen? I thought this was exciting. Our top commander in Afghanistan, General McChrystal, says that it’s time now to get Osama bin Laden. Why not? All right.” – David Letterman
“According to the CIA, Osama bin Laden has been sneaking into Afghanistan from Pakistan and as a matter of fact, in Afghanistan, he lost $125 million in the casino.” – David Letterman
“You know how I warmed up today? I stayed inside and watched the coverage of the global warming conference.” – Jay Leno
“Well, at the Copenhagen climate summit — where they talk about the environment, you know, saving the environment — the delegates had 1,200 limousines and 140 private jets, or as they call that in Malibu, ‘Earth Day.'” – Jay Leno
“And after a 13-year legal dispute over historical accounting mistakes by the Department of the Interior, the government has agreed to pay more than $3 billion in reparations to American Indians for the way they were treated, to which black people said, ‘Hello? Civil War, hello! Slavery, we’re here, anybody?'” – Jay Leno
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