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Late Night Political Humor

“A federal judge in California struck down Proposition 8, saying it was unconstitutional. Gay couples can now get married in the state of California. Remember when women used to say the best ones were either gay or married? Now they can be both.” – Jay Leno

“It’s a big week for gays. There’s the gay conservatives thing happening, Prop 8 was overturned, and the movie ‘Step Up 3-D’ is coming out.” – Craig Ferguson

“People are trying to understand the judge’s thinking on this. Well, I think it’s pretty clear. After seeing straight couples like Bristol and Levi, Larry King and his wives, Charlie Sheen and his wives, gays couldn’t screw it up any worse than that, right? So what the heck, go for it.” – Jay Leno

“I thought this guy (Levi Johnston) was a weasel. Did you hear the latest? He’s now offering to sell a tell-all interview about himself, the latest break-up, and inside information about Sarah Palin for $20,000. Looking back, the problem isn’t that he refused to wear a condom. The problem is his father didn’t wear a condom.” – Jay Leno

“You know those controversial TSA full-body scanners? Well, they’re coming to airports here in New York next month. Great. Normally I take a Xanax before I fly, now I have to take a Viagra.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The Senate has confirmed Elena Kagan for the Supreme Court. She now has a job for life. Just like Lindsay Lohan’s probation officer.” – Jay Leno

“There’s a new iPhone app that lets you call your Facebook friends from your phone. Of course, I only got on Facebook so I wouldn’t have to call these people. ” – Jimmy Fallon

“This week in 1861, the first federal income tax was instituted to pay for the Civil War. These days, we don’t worry about that kind of stuff. Our wars are paid for by our grandchildren.” – Jay Leno

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Wall Street Journal on letting the Bush Tax Cuts expire

The Wall Street Journal (hardly a hotbed of wealth redistribution) published this interesting graph showing the tax load for various income levels under Bush’s tax policies versus Obama’s tax policies:

As Bob Cesca points out:

It turns out that allowing the Bush tax cuts to expire will only hurt people earning more than $300,000 per year. And it appears as if keeping the Bush tax cuts in place would force people earning $60-150,000 to pay slightly more.

Even Alan Greenspan said the cuts should be allowed to expire.

Ezra Klein has a similar graphic in the Washington Post. Gee, the Post agrees with the Journal!

UPDATE: Centrist Zealot zeros in on the problem: while we all claim we want to reduce the deficit, we aren’t willing to reduce spending, and we sure as hell aren’t willing to raise taxes.

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Where does Fox News stand on the “ground zero mosque”?

Yes, I know it isn’t actually a mosque, and it isn’t at ground zero, but a reader sent me an interesting question. As you may know, the second largest owner of Fox News is a Saudi Prince who happens to be a Muslem. This reader claims that Fox News has not mentioned the proposed “ground zero mosque” because their owner won’t let them. Is this true?

Has anyone heard anyone on Fox News speak out either for or (more likely) against the ground zero mosque? Has Fox News taken a position on it? I can find only a few articles that even mention it, and they are pretty neutral, like this article.

I’m really curious about this, but unfortunately I don’t watch TV (including Fox News).

I wonder what conservatives would think if they knew that Fox News was being censored by a Muslim?

UPDATE: Fox News agrees with Obama’s defense of the Mosque, saying that “He has to stand up for our Constitution”.

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Killing two birds with one stone: immigration and jobs!


© Ed Stein

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Politics can be fun

As long as we are going to have down-in-the-mud politics, at least it should be funny!

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A Quale in Hand, searches for Bush

Ben Quayle, the son of former VP Dan Quale, is running for Congress, and I guess he has to do something to get out from under the cloud of his infamously idiotic father, but I’m not sure if this is the right way to do it. In his new campaign ad, the first words out of his mouth are that Obama is the worst president in history. Can’t he tell the difference between the last two presidents?

Meanwhile, Ben Quayle is busy denying allegations that he was a frequent contributor to a sex-themed website called “Dirty Scottsdale”. Apparently he ran a regular feature where he documented his quest to find “the hottest chick in Scottsdale” (which I guess is a different kind of bush).

UPDATE: Centrist Zealot has a hilarious article about this. Ben Quayle has now admitted to posting to Dirty Scottsdale (after previously denying it). He posted under the pseudonym “Brock Landers”, which is the name of a porn star character from Boogie Nights. So much for “knocking the hell” out of Washington.

UPDATE 2: Quayle isn’t content with only one scandal on his hands. A few days before this story broke, he sent out a mailer showing a photo of himself, his wife, and two young girls, with the caption “We are going to raise our family here.” The only problem? Ben Quayle doesn’t have any girls. In fact, he doesn’t have any children at all. He borrowed his nieces for the photo.

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The Cuts That Hurt Us


© Matt Davies

I received an email from one of my readers with the following comment:

I had a thought today when hearing one of the Republicans talking about how the tax cuts for the top brackets need to stay the same was because keeping the tax cut would allow them to create jobs.

But the tax cut is from 2002 or so. So they have had these tax cuts for a while and still have them today. So where are the jobs that extending the tax cuts would create? Shouldn’t they be here now?

Bush/Cheney/Rove tax cuts and other policies had over eight years to show results, and all they did was put the economy into the worst recession since the Great Depression. And the Democratic president before Bush left the economy in pretty good shape. Isn’t it time to give Obama the benefit of the doubt and let him work on the economy?

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Late Night Political Humor

“It’s been more than 24 hours since the court struck down California’s ban on gay marriage, but celebrations in San Francisco have been postponed until Friday. Well, there was a rerun of ‘Glee,’ so they had to wait. ” – Craig Ferguson

“A judge in California overturned the state’s gay marriage ban yesterday. Don’t get too excited, though — he doesn’t plan on telling his parents until Thanksgiving. ” – Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday was President Obama’s birthday. He turned 49 years old, if you believe the liberal media.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“President Obama had dinner with Oprah and her friend Gayle on his birthday. Gayle said it was an honor to have dinner with the leader of the free world and President Obama.” – Craig Ferguson

“The president had dinner with Oprah in Chicago. Even Justin Bieber doesn’t get to do that.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The White House is planning a small belated birthday party for President Obama on Sunday, when Michelle and Sasha are back from Spain. It’ll be a small intimate gathering. You know, just friends, family, the Salahis…” – Jimmy Fallon

“The Salahis, White House party crashers, have their own show now. On their show, they have a party and President Obama crashes it.” – David Letterman

“Sarah Palin is criticizing the president’s visit to ‘The View’ as a cheap TV stunt. Then she went camping with Kate Gosselin.” – David Letterman

“In Portland, Oregon, a 7-year-old girl’s lemonade stand was shut down by the police because she didn’t get a $120 business license. On the bright side, by closing her business, she’s now eligible for a $108,000 government bailout. ” – Jay Leno

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Liberal Bias Blast


© Bruce Plante

Someone pointed out that the guy on the left looks like Glenn Beck. If only.

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Hate is not an American Value?


© Brian McFadden

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Stop Calling Republicans ‘Hypocrites’, Call Them ‘Frauds’

[excerpted from Tina Dupuy]

It’s not that Republicans aren’t hypocrites – it’s more that the label just isn’t an effective dig. First, hypocrite is a fancy foreign Greek word like amnesty, ethics or Europe – how is that going to appeal to Republicans? Second, espousing virtues you don’t personally have to live up is basically the point of being a Republican.

Talker Rush Limbaugh, speaker for Republicans everywhere, famously railed against drug users and called for harsher sentencing for possession when it was fashionable in the ’90s. Then in 2006 Limbaugh was arrested and went to rehab after losing his hearing as a direct result of his long-term drug addiction. Needless to say, he’s cool with hypocrisy. […]

Calling a conservative “hypocrite” is like calling a progressive “liberal”: It stings, but they don’t actually understand why it’s supposed to be offensive. The GOP doesn’t see self-contradiction as a moral shortcoming. They see people who don’t agree with them as a moral shortcoming.

Take closeted homosexual GOP lawmakers who stand with their party and vote against gay rights. […] Take the canard that Republicans are somehow FOR the government getting out of our lives. That’s unless we look like we could be Mexican, or we’re a woman of childbearing capability. Then it’s the government’s job – responsibility – to get up in our business. […] Take Fraction Governor Sarah Palin who spends her free time telling President Obama how to do his job after she quit hers during the greatest economic downturn her state has ever faced. Not to mention her daughter, the unwed teenage mother Bristol Palin, who is now a paid advocate for abstinence.

Do they care if they’re called hypocrites? No.

Fox News rails against the “mainstream media” while bragging about their high ratings and now a front row seat in the White House press briefing room. Republican leadership castigates Democrats for high unemployment rates while stalling the jobs bill. Not to mention Republicans floating the myth that the biggest donor to the Obama campaign was BP when the bumper sticker/rallying cry of the 2008 RNC was “Drill, Baby, Drill.” Does calling them hypocrites somehow stop this? No. Does it make them consider these positions to be flawed? This is about national security! Do you hate America?

No, using the word “hypocrite” should really be stopped altogether. […] Instead of “hypocrite” I recommend the word “fraud.” It sounds bad. Fraud is illegal. Fraud is immoral. And it’s an accurate way of describing hypocrisy without sounding like an irate Justin Bieber fan.

Plus, we’re faced with a GOP who have appointed themselves as deficit hawks, but who are now for renewing the Bush Tax Cuts. These tax cuts added to (wait for it) the deficit – that’s why they’re going to expire. The only way the original bill could pass through reconciliation was for the Congressional Budget Office to have it expire in ten years. Will renewing these tax cuts add to the deficit? Just a couple of trillion dollars. Former Chairman of the Federal Reserve Alan Greenspan was asked on Meet the Press this week if he agrees with Republican leaders who say that tax cuts pay for themselves. His answer? A curt, “No, I do not.”

What does that mean? It means Republicans are FRAUDS when it comes to being deficit hawks. See how easy that was?

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Doin’ Nothin’


© August J. Pollak

I really don’t understand the logic behind some people who complain about the Democrats not doing anything. It is actually amazing the number of things they have been able to accomplish, despite the fact that the Republicans have opposed (and often filibustered) pretty much all major Democratic initiatives.

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The Threat of Anchor Babies!


© Keith Tucker

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Grassroots and Astroturfing

[reprinted from The Writer’s Almanac]

It was on this day 98 years ago that the word “grassroots” made its debut as a political term.

On this day in 1912, Senator Albert Jeremiah Beveridge of Indiana was on stage at the Progressive Party Convention when he proclaimed:

This party has come from the grass roots. It has grown from the soil of people’s hard necessities.

In the almost hundred years since, “grassroots” has become a popular buzzword and an influential campaign strategy. The word refers specifically, according to the OED, to the “rank and file of the electorate or of a political party.” With grassroots campaigns, you often see people standing on street corners holding clipboards, collecting signatures for petitions, or setting up information tables on college campuses and neighborhood farmers’ markets, or posting fliers around town, or holding political meetings at people’s houses, sometimes potluck-style.

There’s now even a term for faking a grassroots movement: It’s called “astroturfing,” after that artificial grass found at sports stadiums. It’s when powerful lobbyists masquerade as individual citizens, using the tactics of grassroots campaigns, but hiding their affiliation or real agenda. The term was coined by U.S. Senator Lloyd Bentsen, after he got a bunch of letters in the mail from concerned citizens urging him to promote the interests of the insurance industry.

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The Republicans Have a Plan


© Ruben Bolling

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