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Hallowe’en: the Safest Day of the Year

Hallowe’en is one of my favorite holidays — it is the one day you get to pretend. But some people use Hallowe’en as an excuse for “parental paranoia”.

For example, if you are a parent, are you worried that some stranger is going to give your child candy with poison or razor blades in it?

Relax. There has never been even a single case of any child being killed by a stranger’s Hallowe’en candy. It has never happened. And yet, people are still afraid of it.

Another example. Some cities and states are passing laws preventing registered sex offenders from even turning on their lights for trick-or-treaters on Hallowe’en, but “there is zero evidence to support the idea that Halloween is a dangerous date for children in terms of child molestation.”

And there are a whole Hallowe’en bag full of other things to be scared of in addition to poison candy and neighborhood pedophiles, such as costumes that restrict breathing, masks that obscure vision, and costumes that can cause tripping and falls. Some places don’t even allow trick-or-treating anymore, instead having adult-supervised parties that guarantee that kids have no chance of encountering anything even remotely dangerous, or even scary.

But a study of crime statistics from 30 states found that, at least statistically, children are actually safer than normal on Hallowe’en. In fact, the author of the study said “We almost called this paper, ‘Halloween: The Safest Day of the Year,’ because it was just so incredibly rare to see anything happen on that day.”

Why? Perhaps it is because it is the one day of the year when we actually go around and meet our neighbors and maybe even talk to them. It is the one day when your typical subdivision turns into an actual community. And maybe, just maybe, it is sense of community that keeps our children safe, rather than paranoia.


© Lalo Alcaraz

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Ten Million People Attend Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

In the fine tradition of recent Washington rallies, Jon Stewart just estimated the crowd at 10 million people. He added that demographically and ethnically, the crowd exactly mirrors the population of the US — 74% white, 14% black, and the rest other.

[I’m conducting an experiment — if we repeat the 10 million figure often enough, the media will reflexively run with it.]

UPDATE: Photos of good signs from the rally.

UPDATE 2: This has got to be the best “Rally to Restore Sanity” outside of DC — in Antarctica!

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Megachurch Pastor Comes Out of the Closet

Usually, when a megachurch pastor is revealed to be gay, it is because he was outed by a young man who was pushing his luggage. But I have to praise Jim Swilley, who founded Conyers’ Church in the Now 25 years ago in Georgia. Swilley was moved by the recent rash of gay teen suicides to reveal that he has known he was gay since he was a little boy. “I know a lot of straight people think it is a choice. It is not.”

Of course, a conservative “Christian” blog has already denounced him as “sick, twisted, unclean and an instrument of the devil”. But Swilley says “I know all the hateful stuff that’s being written about me online, whatever. To think about saving a teenager yeah, I’ll risk my reputation for that.”

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I Remember

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Late Night Political Humor

“Washington D.C. was under a tornado watch. It was pretty crazy, especially when the White House landed on Christine O’Donnell.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Sunday is Halloween — it’s the scariest day of the year. Unless you’re a Democrat – then it’s next Tuesday.” – Jay Leno

“I can hardly wait. In less than a week I’ll be dressed up in a costume, eating candy. I always get so excited during midterm elections.” – Jimmy Fallon

‘Election Day is less than a week away. It’s a shame that either of these parties has to win.’ – Jay Leno

“Election Day is next Tuesday. According to a new poll, one out of three voters is still undecided. It’s a tough choice. Do you vote for the people who got us into this mess, or the people who can’t get us out of this mess?” – Jay Leno

“The President left a campaign event in Rhode Island yesterday saying he had to go home to ‘walk the dog and scoop the poop.’ That’s not a job for the president. Where’s Joe Biden?” – Jay Leno

“Hillary Clinton turned 63 years old yesterday. Bill put rose petals on the bed in a nice hotel and then called Hillary and wished her happy birthday.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Bristol Palin has now survived six weeks on ‘Dancing with the Stars.’ She was neither eliminated nor impregnated. She’ll probably get eliminated soon. Mid-November is when the Palin family typically goes into hibernation.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“It looks like California is on the verge of legalizing marijuana. You thought the haze over L.A. was bad before.” – Jay Leno

“Paul the psychic octopus from the World Cup is dead. He was stomped to death at a Rand Paul rally.” – David Letterman

“New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has canceled a train tunnel between New York and New Jersey. As a result, New Yorkers will have to get to New Jersey the same as they always have — by accident.” – Jimmy Fallon

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The Upcoming Election

A new poll finds that by an astounding two-to-one margin, likely voters in next week’s election think that federal taxes have gone up, believe the economy has shrunk, and are under the distinct impression that the money lent to banks as part of the TARP program won’t be recovered.

The truth is that Obama cut taxes for 95% of the population (including most of those voters), yet by 52% to 19%, likely voters say that federal income taxes have gone up for the middle class in the past two years. Even a plurality of Democrats think that Obama has raised taxes.

Most of the TARP money has been paid back by banks as the economy improved, and the government is likely to make a $16 billion profit on those loans. Yet 60% of those polled believe most of the TARP money was lost.

And the economy has been expanding for the past nine months, with the S&P Index rising 75%, stocks recovering, and businesses showing profits. Yet over half the respondents think the economy is still spiraling down.

So, where in the world would they possibly get these crazy ideas?

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The Invisible Hand


© Matt Wuerker

Not only that, but the same people are screaming to give the invisible hand even more power.

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Conservatives get the constitution wrong, again.

The conservative right has been getting “freedom of religion” wrong for a while now, claiming that we are a “Christian Nation” and that there is no separation of church and state.

But now they are turning their attention to freedom of speech over the firing of Juan Williams from NPR. And they are getting that one horribly wrong, too. The right, including Jim DeMint, Sarah Palin, and Fox News, are calling his firing a “chilling assault on free speech” and claiming that it violates the First Amendment.

Say what? The First Amendment says the government cannot stop you from expressing your opinions. It most certainly does not say that the government has to hire you and pay you money to say them.

Since when did conservatives object to a business firing someone? NPR is a business. If I work for a company, and I go on the radio and say something that is damaging to my company, I will almost certainly be fired. It doesn’t matter if that company receives money from the government (and NPR receives a very small amount of its budget from the government). Just imagine if I were a policeman and I went on the radio and insulted the police chief and the mayor. Would getting fired violate my first amendment rights? Of course not. I can say whatever I like and they can’t stop me. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they fired me. The First Amendment does not protect me from being fired.

What makes this especially hypocritical is that the people who are screaming that this violates the First Amendment (which it doesn’t) are the very same people who tried to actually violate the First Amendment. Back in 2007, the Republicans introduced a bill to cut all federal funding to Columbia University. Why? Because the university hosted a speech by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. In other words, they object to NPR firing Juan Williams, but they themselves wanted to punish Columbia for exercising free speech (which is pretty much the exact thing that the First Amendment protects).

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Top 13 Craziest Election Moments – Midterm 2010 Edition

Are you behind on your election related internet memes? No problem! Michael Gibson has compiled a list of the (how apropos) 13 craziest moments from the upcoming election. Of course, since the election hasn’t happened yet, his list may yet be too short.

  1. Top of his list is Jimmy McMillan of “The Rent is Too Damn High” party. Includes not-to-be-missed video of McMillan at the governor’s debate, plus the inevitable remixes.
  2. Second is the award for most racist political ad, and it is a doozy! Complete with terrorists who have actual towels wrapped around their heads.
  3. Third is Christine O’Donnell, whose ad “I’m not a witch, I’m you” is more terrifying than her youthful dabbling with Wicca.

And there are ten more!

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Muslim on a Plane

I totally cracked up laughing at this:


© Ruben Bolling

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Late Night Political Humor

“New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino’s Facebook page was hacked and someone wrote offensive remarks in the captions of his pictures. The remarks were so crazy and offensive that Paladino was like, ‘Are you sure I didn’t write these?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“The man Dick Cheney shot in the face on that hunting trip like four years ago says that Cheney has never apologized. Hey pal, join the club. The rest of the country is way in front of you.” – Jay Leno

“Former President George W. Bush has a memoir coming out soon. Between this and Justin Bieber’s book, this could be the biggest year ever for literature.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“According to a new L.A. Times poll in the gubernatorial race here in California, Jerry Brown now leads Meg Whitman 52 percent to 39 percent. She spent $163 million of her own money and she’s behind by 13 points. That’s the biggest expenditure of money for a loss since the Yankees.” – Jay Leno

“NPR has fired Juan Williams after he said when he sees people in Muslim garb at the airport, he gets nervous. I get nervous when I see people in pilot uniforms hanging around the airport bar. Call me a bigot…” – Jay Leno

“According to The New York Post, Eliot Spitzer’s new show on CNN is having trouble booking guests. Well of course, they only pay scale. If you know anything about Eliot Spitzer’s past, he pays $5,000 an hour, usually.” – Jay Leno

“The judges were raving about Bristol Palin on “Dancing With the Stars.” Her mother must have threatened to shoot someone.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“There are strikes all over France because the government wants to raise the retirement age. The strikes are threatening the French way of life. Yesterday, an American had to walk all the way across Paris without getting insulted.” – Craig Ferguson

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Playing Games


© Tom Toles

I guess the Republicans consider deficit reduction to be a faith-based initiative.

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Just Say No to the Party of “Duh”

Gus Brindi has a thoughtful rant on why he can’t bring himself to vote for any Republicans, even though he is a moderate and has no love for the Democrats.

For example, he points out that the GOP and “their mentally challenged little brother, the ‘Tea Party'” keep screaming about the issue of government spending, yet fail to say anything about the “big, bloated elephant in the room” — military spending. The US currently spends over a trillion dollars a year on “defense”. Yes, a trillion dollars a year. For comparison, the country with the next largest defense budget is China, who spends 78 billion dollars a year. We spend more than an order of magnitude more than China. In fact, we spend more on “defense” that the rest of the world put together. Reagan justified this spending by claiming that he was spending the Soviet Union into bankruptcy, but after the cold war ended, we just kept on spending (ourselves into bankruptcy).

And what do we get for our money? Does anyone think that the war in Iraq made us any safer? And yet, the Republicans keep making noise that we need yet another war, this time against Iran. The Democrats might not be the party of fiscal responsibility, but at least they don’t go starting stupid wars that cost trillions of dollars, not to mention lives.

Another example. The Republicans have sworn the repeal the health care reform law. Yet according to a Harvard Medical School study, nearly 45,000 people die in the US each year because they lack health insurance. That’s ten times the number of deaths on 9/11, every year. We now rank 49th in the world in life expectancy. Not only that, but the bill they want to repeal is basically the same bill the Republicans tried to get passed in 1993.

Brindi concludes:

If you want my vote back, start sounding more like Eisenhower and less like Palin. As it stands today, no Republican will be getting my vote this fall. I have no love for Democrats, but I will be saying “no” to the party of “duh.” I literally have no choice.

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New and Improved! With added disease and toxins!

Jesse Kelly, who is a GOP candidate for Congress in Arizona attended a campaign rally hosted by a local Tea Party group. During the question and answer session, Kelly was asked about the recent salmonella outbreak, which sickened 1,300 people and led to a recall of half a billion eggs. The outbreak was traced back to a producer in Iowa, who had a stunning 20 year record of health, safety, labor, and other violations. We’ve also recently seen 29 miners killed in a mining disaster caused by a mining company that willfully ignored safety laws, and even the Gulf oil spill, where BP has been responsible for 97% of all flagrant safety violations in the last three years.

So, given that we are seeing more and more disasters caused by a small number of companies, would Kelly support a law that gave the government the power to shut down companies that willfully, flagrantly, and repeatedly break the law.

I would think that even Tea Party members would be in favor of law and order. If you break the law, and especially if you break the law repeatedly, you will go to jail. Shouldn’t the same thing apply to a company? For a company, going to jail means being shut down.

But what I find especially ironic is how Kelly answered the question, or more accurately, didn’t answer it. Here’s the dialog:

Question: Given the salmonella outbreaks that we have seen every three weeks, with the chicken industry, with pesticides and what not that they put onto spinach in order to get the salmonella. We have rules and regulations. However there is no rule mandating that they be enforced. Is there some way when you’re in Congress that you’ll have a bill passed that says instead of having companies voluntarily change, mandate that they must change or give them the ability to shut ‘em down and that goes for mining companies or anyone who has hundreds of violations against ‘em.

Kelly: Here’s the thing with that point, that’s the first time I’ve ever had that question. Congratulations on being unique. First shot out of the box, no ma’am. I do not believe that what we’re lacking right now is a lack of regulations on business. […] You could literally go spit on the grass and get arrested by the federal government if you wanted to right now. […] More regulation, more federal control, giving Nancy Pelosi more power, is not the solution right now.

Q: Who’s protecting us?

Kelly: That’s the thing, ma’am, it’s our job to protect ourselves. Because no one else is going to look out for your best interests except for you. […]

Q: Am I supposed to go to a chicken farmer and say I’d like you to close down because all of your birds are half dead?

Kelly: I’ve not heard a lot about that recently, obviously there’s a new thing that comes along every day. But I know this, every portion of our economy that is heavily regulated doesn’t have fewer disasters, it has more.

Kelly essentially changes the subject, saying we don’t need more regulations. But the question they asked was not about having more regulations, the question was about enforcing existing laws and regulations.

The current situation is like having laws against murder and theft, but having no way to enforce the law. Companies are expected to voluntarily comply with the law. Isn’t this like asking people to give themselves tickets for speeding, or (more apropos to Arizona) asking illegal aliens to kindly please leave the country? But according to Kelly, it is up to you to make sure that you don’t buy eggs with salmonella, or work for a company whose mine is going to collapse and kill you.

Kelly even manages to get in a swipe against Nancy Pelosi. So according to Kelly, enforcing the laws against illegal businesses gives Pelosi more power, but enforcing laws against illegal aliens is a high priority. That’s hypocrisy.

You might want to call this “E Coli Conservatism“. If we are going to pretend that corporations are people and give them rights like free speech, shouldn’t they also have responsibilities like not breaking the law, injuring, or even killing people? When people break the law, we remove them from society. When companies break the law, we should remove them from business.

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Jerry Brown’s Endorsement from Meg Whitman

[Thanks, Ezra Klein]

What’s doubly ironic about this is that it is a positive ad. And yet oh so devastating.

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