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The Economics of Valentine’s Day


© Jeff Stahler

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The Modern Presidential Calendar


© Tom Toles

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Corporate State Secrets

Glenn Greenwald has a disturbing report concerning WikiLeaks, Bank of America, and the merger of corporate and government power in this country. I’m loathe to use the overused word “fascism” but the textbook definition of that particular f-word is the alignment of the government and economy of a country around corporatist interests.

Just in case you haven’t been following along, after WikiLeaks published US diplomatic cables (the release of which likely played no small part in the recent revolutions in Tunisia and Egypt) they then threatened to release highly damaging reports on a major American bank — widely believed to be the Bank of America. Meanwhile, several corporations, including Paypal, MasterCard, Visa, and Amazon, likely under pressure from the US government, terminated services to WikiLeaks in an effort to knee-cap them. In response, a loose-knit group of hackers called Anonymous carried out cyber attacks against those corporations. Then, last week, a top executive at computer security firm HBGary Federal, boasted that his firm had infiltrated Anonymous and was going to expose them. In retaliation, Anonymous hacked virtually every computer at HBGary Federal and published 50,000 of their emails online.

What ties this all together is that some of the emails published detail a report prepared by HBGary Federal that propose countermeasures against organizations and individuals that support WikiLeaks. Many of these countermeasures appear to be serious crimes. But even worse, they expose to a disturbing amount of lawlessness being carried out by the major institutions — both private and public, and often in collaboration — in our country.

Here’s a quick excerpt from Greenwald’s report, but the whole thing is definitely a must read:

But the real issue highlighted by this episode is just how lawless and unrestrained is the unified axis of government and corporate power. … The exemption from the rule of law has been fully transferred from the highest level political elites to their counterparts in the private sector. “Law” is something used to restrain ordinary Americans and especially those who oppose this consortium of government and corporate power, but it manifestly does not apply to restrain these elites. Just consider one amazing example illustrating how this works.

After Anonymous imposed some very minimal cyber disruptions on Paypal, Master Card and Amazon, the DOJ flamboyantly vowed to arrest the culprits, and several individuals were just arrested as part of those attacks. But weeks earlier, a far more damaging and serious cyber-attack was launched at WikiLeaks, knocking them offline. Those attacks were sophisticated and dangerous. Whoever did that was quite likely part of either a government agency or a large private entity acting at its behest. Yet the DOJ has never announced any investigation into those attacks or vowed to apprehend the culprits, and it’s impossible to imagine that ever happening.

Why? Because crimes carried out that serve the Government’s agenda and target its opponents are permitted and even encouraged; cyber-attacks are “crimes” only when undertaken by those whom the Government dislikes, but are perfectly permissible when the Government itself or those with a sympathetic agenda unleash them. Whoever launched those cyber attacks at WikiLeaks (whether government or private actors) had no more legal right to do so than Anonymous, but only the latter will be prosecuted.

UPDATE: Forbes magazine has an interesting update on all this. Interesting quote in an email from HBGary Federal CEO: “I follow one law. Mine.”

UPDATE 2: More from Forbes. “Rarely in the history of the cybersecurity industry has a company become so toxic so quickly as HBGary Federal. Over the last week, many of the firm’s closest partners and largest clients have cut ties with the Sacramento startup. And now it’s cancelled all public appearances by its executives at the industry’s biggest conference in the hopes of ducking a scandal that seems to grow daily as more of its questionable practices come to light.”

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Late Night Political Humor

“President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything.” – Jay Leno

“On the ‘Today’ show, Michelle Obama called the Bush twins ‘magnificent’ and Chelsea Clinton a ‘solid young woman.’ In fact, the only president’s kid she didn’t compliment was George Bush Sr.’s.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Michelle Obama says she has gotten President Obama to stop smoking. Now, maybe she can get John Boehner to stop sobbing.” – David Letterman

“The problem in Egypt is that so many government officials are rich and the people are poor. I think it’s a pyramid scheme.” – Jay Leno

“The demonstrations are getting bigger in Cairo. The Egyptian government tried to disperse the crowd with tear gas, and when that didn’t work, a Black Eyed Peas halftime show.” – Conan O’Brien

“Christina Aguilera is bouncing back from her Super Bowl appearance by singing at the Grammys. She’ll be accompanied by a full orchestra and 135 teleprompters.” – Conan O’Brien

“The Catholic Church has approved an app that let’s you confess on your iPhone. You can now cheat and atone right on the same device. Perfect for Brett Favre.” – Jay Leno

“The actual name for this app is “Priest in your pocket.” Don’t they read the paper? Couldn’t they come up with a better name?” – Jay Leno

“The Catholic Church has approved an app that lets people confess their sins through their iPhones. The number one confession? Taking the Lord’s name in vain after the iPhone drops your call.” – Jay Leno

“Over 83% of prostitutes have Facebook pages. You can tell which they are because their relationship status is ‘It’s simple.'” – Conan O’Brien

“G.I. Joe was created on this day in 1964, so tonight G.I. Joe’s going out with Ken to celebrate his birthday and the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.” – Craig Ferguson

“A California man is suing Disney because he was trapped on the ‘It’s a Small World’ ride for 40 minutes. When they heard it, the Chilean miners said, ‘Wow, we got off easy.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Russian astronomers say an asteroid is heading toward our planet and will hit us in 2036. You have to keep in mind that Russian astronomers use empty vodka bottles for telescopes.” – Craig Ferguson

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Stability


© Joel Pett

Is unbridled democracy really that scary to the US government?

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Unfortunately, Mubarak said “no”


© Tom Toles

UPDATE: Apparently Mubarak changed his mind today.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is the richest man in the world, with more than $70 billion in hidden assets. That will go up even more once his unemployment kicks in.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Hosni Mubarak is supposedly worth around $80 billion. He claims to have saved the money by properly inflating his tires.” – David Letterman

“Dick Cheney says that Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is a ‘good friend.’ Why am I not surprised by this?” – David Letterman

“An Egyptian Google executive has become a hero to Egyptian protestors for a Facebook page he created. Still no luck selling his futon on Craigslist, though.” – Conan O’Brien

“Joe Biden announced plans for a $53 billion train system. To offset the cost, they’re raising the price of a train ticket to $53 billion.” – Craig Ferguson

“Vice presidents love technology: Joe Biden with the trains, Al Gore with the Internet, and Dick Cheney with the electric torture clamps.” – Craig Ferguson

“Nancy Pelosi described Justin Bieber as ‘adorable but also substantial,’ while Justin Bieber described Nancy Pelosi as ‘court ordered to maintain a distance of 300 feet at all times.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“The economics professor who helped craft President Obama’s healthcare plan is going to explain that plan in a comic book. As a result, President Bush has now come out in favor of Obama’s healthcare plan.” – Conan O’Brien

“Michelle Obama says her husband, President Obama, has quit smoking. Fox News reported this as ‘Obama Destroying the Tobacco Industry.'” – Craig Ferguson

“President Obama urged private businesses to hire more workers. He didn’t realize that only the government hires more people than it needs.” – Jay Leno

“The literary world has been abuzz after Bristol Palin released a 304-page memoir. At her age, it’s not called a memoir, it’s called a diary.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The Catholic Church has approved a new app that lets you make confessions over your iPhone. It also raises the possibility of accidentally butt-dialing God.” – Conan O’Brien

“Washington, D.C. is updating its traffic cameras to enforce traffic laws. How about enforcing bribery and corruption laws?” – Jay Leno

“Recent storms have been very tough on New York City. Just today, Mayor Bloomberg was busy cutting the ribbon on a new pothole.” – David Letterman

“There was a power outage at Newark Airport. Who wants a TSA pat-down with the lights off?” – Jay Leno

“Peru has changed its national anthem. It wasn’t too hard to change the lyrics. They just let Christina Aguilera sing it.” – Jay Leno

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Is anyone else worried about headlines that read “Protestors have won, Mubarak is stepping down”?

I thought the goal was to establish democracy in Egypt, and try to get rid of their crushing corruption? How does having Mubarak step down, to be replaced by his handpicked vice president, guarantee this will happen?

Something tells me that Mubarak is trying to pull a fast one in order to get the protests to stop.

I hope I’m wrong.

p.s. Here’s an example of that headline: “Egypt Protesters on Verge of Victory? Watch for the Demand”
Another one from Reddit: “Breaking news: Protesters have won! Mubarak stepping down!!!!”

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Give me Liberty, or give me a new Caucus

Shouldn’t any politician who votes for the Patriot Act be automatically kicked out of the Tea Party Caucus?

Of the 52 official members of Michelle Bachmann’s Tea Party Caucus, 44 of them voted for the Patriot Act on Tuesday. Wow. What part of “small government” and “protect the constitution” do they not understand?

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Conservative Logic


© Tom Tomorrow

Maybe he needs a robot with two heads, so it can believe two contradictory thoughts at the same time. The one thing we know for sure is that no matter what happens, it will be Obama’s fault.

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Bill O’Reilly apparently believes in God because he flunked science

Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly is waging a war against science. His technique is simple: come up with examples in the world that “nobody” can explain and use that to claim that there must be a god.

But what is really hilarious about this are the examples he is picking. Ranker put together a list of the stupidest things that O’Reilly claims cannot be explained. For example, the tides:

I’ll tell you why [religion is] not a scam, in my opinion. Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that. You can’t explain why the tide goes in.

Of course, most children learn that the tides are caused by the moon (and to a lesser extent the sun) by the time they enter high school, but apparently O’Reilly flunked that class (and I guess that he doesn’t count a little thing like a tsunami as a “miscommunication”).

When it was pointed out to O’Reilly that we can easily explain the tides, he doubled down on dumb, and — picking on the moon again — claimed that we don’t know why we have a moon and Mars doesn’t! Apparently he also flunked the class where they discussed that Mars has two moons.

You can see all of this hilarity on Stephen Colbert’s show [starting around 2:30]:

Personally, I might have to believe in God, because I can’t explain how someone as stupid as O’Reilly can get their own TV show. I can’t explain that at all. God works in mysterious ways.

UPDATE: This whole thing has spawned a new internet meme, and it is hilarious.

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Late Night Political Humor

“This year’s Super Bowl was the most-watched event in history. Take that, moon landing.” – Craig Ferguson

“The head of Homeland Security told people at the game, if they saw anything not right give them a call. They got 50 million calls as soon as Christina Aguilera started singing the National Anthem. The good news, you can’t accuse her of lip syncing.” – Jay Leno

“Christina Aguilera sang the wrong words to ‘The Star-Spangled Banner.’ And even worse, the Black Eyed Peas sang their songs exactly right.” – Conan O’Brien

“During the Super Bowl halftime show, the Black Eyed Peas changed the lyrics of their song ‘Where is the Love’ to call on President Obama to do better in education and jobs. And Christina Aguilera changed the lyrics of the national anthem — just because.” – Jimmy Fallon

“John Madden sat next to former President Bush at the game. There was an awkward moment when they were both caught on the Kiss Cam.” – Conan O’Brien

“I was going to watch the Super Bowl at the Late-Night Hosts Clubhouse. But last year Jay Leno was looking for something to cut the cake, and Conan said, “Why don’t you use the knife you stuck in my back?” Awkward. So I just watched at home this year.” – Craig Ferguson

“Do you know where Osama bin Laden watched the Super Bowl? In his man cave.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama had a Super Bowl party which featured food from both Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, which explains why he tested positive for diabetes the next morning.” – Conan O’Brien

“At President Obama’s Super Bowl party, they had cheeseburgers and deep-dish pizza. So much for Michelle Obama’s healthy eating initiative.” – David Letterman

“During his interview with President Obama last night, Bill O’Reilly asked him to explain how he deals with so many people hating him. In response, Obama said, ‘You first.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak told ABC news that he would like to step down from power immediately, but if he did, it could cause chaos in his country. Well, you would hate to see that happen.” – Jay Leno

“Over the weekend Dick Cheney declared Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak a good friend. Mubarak said, ‘Dude, that’s not really helping.'” – Conan O’Brien

“A lot of Americans are still trapped in Egypt. They’re being advised to bring their own food and water to the airport. Also their own plane.” – Conan O’Brien

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Republicans want to defeat Obama at any cost

A new poll from CNN shows that the most important thing they want in a presidential candidate in 2012 is someone who can defeat Obama — even if that candidate disagrees with them on major issues and ideology.

I guess I’m happy that Republicans are taking a slight break from ideology, but only so they can cement their reputation as the Party of No.

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Recycling in the Republican Party


© Ken Catalino

It could be worse — they could be recycling Newt.

UPDATE: The Onion has the best remembrance of Reagan for his birthday.

UPDATE 2: Demystifying Reagan.

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Boeing outsourcing fail – fooled twice!

In 2003, Boeing decided to use a very aggressive outsourcing strategy in order to slash the cost of developing their new 787 Dreamliner.

But last month, the Boeing Commercial Airplanes chief admitted that this strategy backfired completely — outsourcing cost far more money than it saved, and led to a three year delay in the release of the 787. “We spent a lot more money in trying to recover than we ever would have spent if we’d tried to keep the key technologies closer to home.” Wall Street analysts have estimated that this bad move cost the company between $12 billion and $18 billion dollars, on top of the $5 billion the plane was originally predicted to cost.

What I find ironic about this is that in 1997, Boeing was able to acquire their major competitor, airplane manufacturer McDonnell Douglas, because Douglas had themselves tried their own disastrous outsourcing strategy. In fact, one of the Senior Technical Fellows from Douglas had warned Boeing in 2001 not to go down the outsourcing path that had led Douglas to virtual obsolescence by the mid-1990s, and predicting that outsourcing would cause massive additional costs.

But Boeing didn’t listen, because they were too busy chasing after a new accounting measure called RONA — return on net assets — an idea they acquired from the close-to-defunct Douglas. The RONA idea is that the less actual work you do per dollar of profit, the better. Taken to its extreme, you could maximize RONA by outsourcing everything other than a 25 cent Boeing decal that you would slap on the nose of the finished airplane.

The problem, of course, is that you lose all control over the airplane itself and increase risks when outsourcing partners are unable to perform. And as you lay off your employees, you lose your core competencies. You are in effect turning your product into a commodity, competing on price alone. As most businesses recognize, this is a very bad situation to be in. But when the outsourcing ends up costing you more money, it is a double whammy.

Boeing has now learned this lesson twice. Will other companies need to make the same mistakes? I hope not.

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