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How stupid do you have to be to watch Fox News?

Or, more accurately, how stupid does Fox News think you are if you watch them?

Watch this short clip showing angry protestors while Bill O’Reilly talks about the outside agitators who are bussed in to the protests in Wisconsin. There’s just one problem. Last time I checked, there weren’t many palm trees in Wisconsin.

In order to further support their narrative about violent protests, a Fox News reporter has claimed that he was punched in the arm by a protestor, and that another protestor threatened to break his neck. Fortunately, a bystander had captured the entire event on video and it shows no punch or any other violence, just a light tap after the reporter swatted away a sign the protester was holding.

And the most ironic thing? The protesters were chanting “Fox News lies”. How apropos.

UPDATE: Mediaite points out that O’Reilly did say earlier in the same program that the clips they were showing were from “all over the country”. So in fact Fox News was not implying that this footage was from Wisconsin (in my own defense, I have to point out that I did not actually accuse them of lying about this — I have plausible deniability!). Although repeatedly showing footage from violent protests and having one of your reporters claim he was punched in the arm are still pretty sleazy propaganda techniques.

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Public Opinion®


© Jan Sorensen

If you think this is just a joke, see the post after this one (above).

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The Defense of Marriage Trap

Last week, Attorney General Eric Holder announced that the Justice department would no longer argue in favor of Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in court.

Of course, conservatives attacked immediately. Newt Gingrich claimed that Obama had “directly violated his constitutional duties by arbitrarily suspending a law” and that “clearly it is not something that can be allowed to stand.” He also said that if a “President Sarah Palin” had taken a similar action, there would have been immediate calls for her impeachment.

Really? How about in 1982, when Reagan refused to argue in court against Bob Jones University, which was practicing racial segregation for religious reasons? Not only that, but both Bush presidents did the same thing. Did anyone call for their impeachment because of that? Did Gingrich call for their impeachment, as he appears to be doing now for Obama?

But what is really ironic about this whole thing is that it puts the Republicans in a very interesting situation. If they don’t try to defend DOMA, they risk angering their base. But if they do try to defend it, it puts them into the position of defending their own hypocrisy. After all, how hilarious is it for Newt Gingrich to pretend to defend marriage, when it is a matter of public record that he is a serial adulterer who has never taken his own marriage vows seriously? In fact, back when Gingrich was pushing the passage of DOMA in Congress, he was having an affair.

Practically every major politician involved in DOMA has since been revealed to be an adulterer. This includes the author of DOMA, Bob Barr (R-GA). Also Henry Hyde (R-IL), who pushed it through the House Judiciary Committee, and Bob Dole, then the Senate Majority Leader. In the name of bipartisan hypocrisy, I will also point out that DOMA was signed into law by President Clinton, while he was having an affair with Monica Lewinski.

I’ve often been confused by how upset religious conservatives get about gays and gay marriage. Why aren’t they equally upset about adultery? I don’t think it can be on religious grounds — after all, adultery is mentioned frequently in the Bible as a major sin. Even the Ten Freaking Commandments says “Thou shalt not commit adultery”. Homosexuality is barely mentioned in the Bible, and even when it is mentioned it is lumped in with prohibitions against such terrible things as incense, horoscopes, psychics, eating shellfish, and cheating at business (yow!).

The day I see fundamentalist Christians protesting against corrupt banks (or restaurants serving shrimp and lobster) with the same vehemence they reserve for gays is the day I’ll take their arguments seriously.

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Open Letter to the World

[reprinted from Anonymous]

We stand at a unique time in our history, the rise of the internet and computer technology have contributed to an unparalleled rate of prosperity for the First World.

We have created for ourselves and empire unlike any other, a global network of constant trade and communication, a new age of technological advancement. We have come a long way from our humble roots in the Industrial Revolution and the days of Manifest Destiny. We are now pioneers on new digital frontiers expanding our domain from the quantum world to the far reaches of space.

And yet, the empire faces a crisis, a global recession, growing poverty, rampant violence, corruption in politics, and threats to personal freedom. As it was before in other times of crisis, the old stories have begun to repeat themselves. The half truths, this time repeated nightly on cable news and echoed through a series of tubes onto the internet: the empire is strong, change is unwise, business as usual is the answer. In times of uncertainty there are those who seek to add to the confusion, to prey on our insecurities and fears. Those who would seek to keep us divided for their own gain. The pervasive strategy takes many very convincing forms: Liberals and Conservatives, Christians and Muslims, Black and White, Saved and sinner.

But something unexpected is happening. We have begun telling each other our own stories. Sharing our lives, our hopes, our dreams, our demons. Every second, day in day out, into all hours of the night the gritty details of life on this earth are streaming around the world. As we see the lives of others played out in our living rooms we are beginning to understand the consequences of our actions and the error of the old ways. We are questioning the old assumptions that we are made to consume not to create, that the world was made for our taking, that wars are inevitable, that poverty is unavoidable. As we learn more about our global community a fundamental truth has been rediscovered: We are not so different as we may seem. Every human has strengths, weaknesses, and deep emotions. We crave love, love laughter, fear being alone and dream for a better life.

You must create a better life.

You cannot sit on the couch watching television or playing video games, waiting for a revolution. You are the revolution. Every time you decide not to exercise your rights, every time you refuse to hear another view point, every time you ignore the world around you, every time you spend a dollar at a business that doesn’t pay a fair wage you are contributing to the oppression of the human body and the repression of the human mind. You have a choice, a choice to take the easy path, the familiar path, to walk willingly into your own submission. Or a choice get up, to go outside and talk to your neighbor, to come together in new forums to create lasting, meaningful change for the human race.

This is our challenge:

A peaceful revolution, a revolution of ideas, a revolution of creation. The twenty-first century enlightenment. A global movement to create a new age of tolerance and understanding, empathy and respect. An age of unfettered technological development. An age of sharing ideas and cooperation. An age of artistic and personal expression. We can choose to use new technology for radical positive change or let it be used against us. We can choose to keep the internet free, keep channels of communication open and dig new tunnels into those places where information is still guarded. Or we can let it all close in around us. As we move in to new digital worlds, we must acknowledge the need for honest information and free expression. We must fight to keep the internet open as a marketplace of ideas where all are seated as equals. We must defend our freedoms from those who would seek to control us. We must fight for those who do not yet have a voice. Keep telling your story. All must be heard.

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Only the little people pay taxes

It has been over three years since Warren Buffett pointed out that he pays a smaller percentage of his income in taxes than his employees. In fact, his receptionist payed almost twice the percentage he pays, even though he doesn’t even take advantage of tax shelters that are available to the rich.

It isn’t like the rich don’t appreciate this. Some of you may remember billionaire real estate baroness Leona Helmsley, who was prosecuted for fraud and tax evasion by then District Attorney Rudy Giuliani. During her trial, one of her maids famously quoted Helmsley as saying “We don’t pay taxes. The little people do.”

So it is somewhat fitting that a study of the Helmsley Building shows that the rich residents of that building also pay a far smaller percentage of their income than “the little people”. The residents averaged over a million dollars in income in 2007, and yet they paid less than 15% of this in federal taxes. On the other hand, the workers in that building — janitors and security guards — who earned on average a paltry $30,000 dollars a year, paid as much as a quarter of that in federal taxes. Can you even survive in New York City on $23,000 a year?

And it isn’t just rich individuals that are making out like bandits. Corporations are using tax loopholes to avoid paying any taxes at all.

For example, in 2009 Bank of America didn’t pay a single dollar in federal income taxes, while at the same time paying their top executives salaries as high as $30 million. Another bank, Citigroup, recently reported zero taxes owed for the third quarter of 2010.

And it isn’t just banks. Boeing hasn’t paid any federal taxes since 2008. Exxon-Mobil does pay taxes but somehow manages using offshore subsidiaries in the Caribbean to not pay any of them in the US. That’s right, no US taxes, even though in 2009 they passed Wal-mart in the Fortune 500 and paid their CEO over $29 million in salary. Likewise, General Electric paid no federal taxes in 2009, and neither did Wells Fargo.

So, given this situation, why was it so absolutely important to extend Bush’s tax cuts for the rich? We had those tax cuts for 10 years — did they help the economy? Did they trickle down and create new jobs? Is our economy booming like they promised us?

And now, we are being asked to believe that in order to balance our budget, we have to cut salaries for teachers and firefighters? Seriously? How stupid do they think we are?

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Border Security a Waste of Billions of Dollars

When you hear a conservative say that we have to “secure our border” before we can have immigration reform, you should ask them a few questions.

What does “secure our border” even mean? Is it even possible? Has it ever been done, anywhere? What would it take to completely secure a land border? What problems are we trying to solve, and how are we going to solve them?

If they can answer those questions (and I doubt they can), and if they are really interested in reducing our deficit, you should point out a federal report that shows that billions of dollars have been wasted on trying to secure the border. Indeed, if politicians would actually enact real immigration reform, that would have a far greater effect on securing our borders against real threats, not imaginary ones.

After all, to solve the problem of illegal immigrants, we need solutions, not meaningless sound bites like “secure our borders”.

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Losers Bracket


© Ed Stein

We seem intent on turning ourselves into a third world country.

UPDATE: I don’t want to be a teacher any more.

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Feeding the Hand that Bites You


© Matt Wuerker

This cartoon makes the point that we don’t learn from history, but I think it might even be worse than that. At least in some cases, we have encouraged these people to become dictators. Democracy can be such a messy thing.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Rahm Emanuel is expected to win the election for mayor of Chicago. In keeping with Chicago tradition, his victory was announced two weeks ago.” – Conan O’Brien

“Congratulations to Rahm Emanuel on being elected as mayor of Chicago. How do I know he will win? It’s Chicago, I called a guy last week to find out.” – Craig Ferguson

“If Rahm Emanuel is elected as mayor, he’ll have to keep his language clean. He wouldn’t want to sully the otherwise spotless reputation of Chicago politics.” – Craig Ferguson

“It must have been a tough decision for Rahm to leave the White House, because if he doesn’t get elected mayor, he may be unemployed. But either way, he got away from Biden.” – Craig Ferguson

“Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi was on TV and he was angry and defiant. Then he went off the air and no one has seen him since — kind of like Keith Olbermann.” – Jay Leno

“Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi said that people protesting against him are under the influence of ‘hallucination pills.’ In a related story, Charlie Sheen just boarded a plane to Libya.” – Conan O’Brien

“Gadhafi said he will fight the protestors until the end and he will die as a martyr. The protestors responded by saying, ‘Deal.'” – Jay Leno

“In honor of the revolution a couple in Egypt have named their newborn daughter Facebook. Hope they don’t start ignoring their son MySpace. It’s going to cause a lot of problems when that girl turns 16 and all the boys want to be on Facebook.” – Jay Leno

“In order to acknowledge gay members, Facebook added two new relationship options: ‘In a civil union’ and ‘In a domestic partnership.’ Then, to make sure they didn’t miss anyone, they added ‘One time in college.'” – Conan O’Brien

“A year ago Michelle Obama started her campaign to end childhood obesity called ‘Let’s Move.’ I think Americans have been very clear in their answer: ‘No.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Rush Limbaugh called Michelle Obama a hypocrite, criticizing her for eating ribs on vacation and said she isn’t following her own dietary guidelines. Well, isn’t that the morbidly obese pot calling the kettle African-American?” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Rush shouldn’t talk. He would eat his own ribs if you put sauce on them.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“I spent Presidents Day acting like a president. I took someone else’s money and spent it on something I don’t need.” – Jay Leno

“The Pentagon is testing a robotic hummingbird that can be used as a spy camera. They say it will help them track down terrorists and pretty flowers.” – Jay Leno

“The National Geographic channel has a new show that gives an inside look at the Secret Service. That’s right, it’s called ‘Ruining the Whole Point of the Secret Service.'” – Jimmy Fallon

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What’s really going on in Wisconsin

The Republicans will tell you it is about balancing the budget, but the real reasons the GOP is launching a full attack on unions is more about politics than it is about policy.

As Howard Fineman points out:

Last fall, GOP operatives hoped and expected to take away as many as 20 governorships from the Democrats. They ended up nabbing 12.

What happened? Well, according to postgame analysis by GOP strategists and Gov. Haley Barbour of Mississippi — who chaired the Republican Governors Association in 2010 — the power and money of public-employee unions was the reason.

The Republicans realized that the easiest way to gain more political power would be to find some way to neutralize the power of the unions.

The GOP strategic aim is simple enough. If they can abolish union collective-bargaining rights, they can undermine the automatic payment of dues to the public-employee union treasuries. Shrinking those treasuries and reducing the union structure and membership will make it harder for Democrats and their allies to communicate directly with workers.

And under the infamous Citizens United Supreme Court decision, unions — like corporations — are free to spend as much as they want directly advocating for a candidate. That makes the math even more urgent as the 2012 election season approaches.

Personally, I’d rather see the Citizens United decision reversed, and take away the ability for both corporations and unions to spend unlimited amounts of money on elections.

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Reverse Political Psychology


© Matt Bors

The Right Wing attacks the First Lady. I guess turnabout is fair play.

Especially ironic is Sarah Palin — who attacked Michelle Obama for encouraging breastfeeding — but when she was governor of Alaska introduced a breastfeeding awareness month.

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Iran Masters the Technology to Weaponize Irony

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Walking in his Shoes

[reprinted from Bullseye Rooster.]

“If American workers are being denied their right to organize and collectively bargain, when I’m in the White House, I’ll put on a comfortable pair of shoes myself, I’ll walk on that picket line with you as President of the United States of America.”

Barack Obama, November 2nd, 2007 in South Carolina
__________________________
Mr President,
We manufacture the fine comfort shoe, Sino-Star Flex King, and recommend it for use in the long march of divisive contention. It is leather of slip-last construction and will guide you in relaxation to your goal. It is made available to you in trade for rights to distribute as a low-cost meal add-on (for example, Happy Meal) at a convenient firm for your purposes. May we have video of your feet leading you to success in labor movement relations? We will use it only for advertising and other capitalistic purposes.
– Jin Den Ng, CEO
Sino Star Shoe Company
Fujian Province
__________________
Mr Deng,
We wish to thank you for your kind offer. But we must explain the offer we made to march was in the form of a “campaign promise,” and is not to be considered binding. Thank you for your interest.
Sandra Tubbs, Presidetial Domestic Policy Advisor
_________________________________
Mr President,
You may wish to travel the American Streets in old-world comfort. Here in Libya we have many Sedan Chair teams available for your use at no cost. We ask only that you stand with us and make clear your unequivocal commitment to the rebel cause.
In Brotherhood,
Mustafa Gawarrah, Commander Rebel Contigent
Bengazi, Libya
__________________________
Dear Mustafa,
As much the Obama Administration would like to comment on the troubles in Libya, we must refrain from making the kind of public statements that might be deemed as “financiallly inappropriate.” Sedan chairs are indeed inviting, but we might appear to be endorsing the use of your teams over others. Thank you.
Sandra Tubbs, Presidential Domestic Policy Adviser.
_______________________________________
Dear Mr President,
I am a shoe repairman from the old school. Which means I am pro-union, but not a union man at present due to a lack of a union to belong to. I don’t care what kind of shoe you wear, I can make it more comfortable. In addition, I can build in a rather sharp steel toe, with which you may kick Governor Walker in the ass. And he will stay kicked. Please take me up on it.
Yours,
David Bertling
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
___________________________
Dear Mr Bertling
We have received thousands of good ideas. Yours will be seriously considered at an appropriate time. But it must wait until after the 2012 elections so as not to seem divisive or controversial. Excessive virtue in pursuit of leadership can be seen as excessive leadership in the pursuit of virtue.
Thank you.
Sandra Tubbs, Presidential Domestic Leadership Adviser

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What’s Next?


© Ben Sargent

I think this comic says it all.

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Libya Darling

[reprinted from Political Relief. Thanks Chris!]

Libya Darling and Keep the Oil Flowing

For a country that did something truly revolutionary 235 years ago and is rightfully proud of it, our reactions to the recent protests in the Arab world would leave all but the most cynical person scratching their heads.

Libya is the latest dictatorship whose people are rising in protest, and embattled dictator Moammar Ghadaffi has shut down the information pipes in an effort to avoid becoming the latest regime to topple.

Of course, America can take credit for the protests in this African country which borders Chad, Niger, and so on, for it wasn’t until a plucky U.S. president dared to send his own people to fight the people of Iraq that freedom ever crossed the minds of young Libyans. Granted that was 2,000 miles away and eight years ago. But since the G.O.P. changed its mind and decided that that war was about democracy rather than defense, it’s entitled to take credit for any uprising that emerges in any sandy country from that point forward. (And the Saudi uprising of 2022? Students in Riyadh will march under banners lovingly depicting the Crusader from Crawford.)

Unfortunately, the U.S. media no longer melt in the presence of Rumsfeld; their new crush is Facebook and Twitter. How conceited it was to think it was American force in Iraq that enabled democracy in Tunisia and Egypt — it was actually American entrepreneurs! We’ve been told for years now that i-Phones and You Tubes are nothing short of revolutionary, so who can blame us if we think that Twitbook and Facetube are as important as the courage to face down soldiers with machine guns? The impact of these technologies has been anecdotal and the protests thrived even after web and cell connections were cut, but inspiring stories of oppressed people putting their lives on the line for freedom is somehow less compelling unless we are somehow involved.

The protests have succeeded in Egypt and Tunisia, but history’s still underway in Libya. Ghadaffi seems as willing to slaughter his own people as a homeowner is to phone an exterminator, so thousands of lives are truly on the line. Given our Republican party’s eagerness to rid Iraq of its oppressive regime, you’d think they’d be demanding that President Obama initiate Operation Free Libya, or at least that he petition the U.N. to impose a no-fly zone so Ghadaffi can’t strafe his own people from the air. But distant crickets on a summer night are louder. (The Democrats aren’t much better, though Sen. John Kerry has made a start.)

And you’d think for all our American pride about freedom and for our leaders’ flowery speeches citing foreign peoples looking to the U.S.A. for inspiration and encouragement against tyrannical regimes, that we’d demand our leaders do everything possible to support the Libyan revolution, perhaps seeing the same glimmers of independence that we think of so fondly when we quote our own founding fathers and revolutionaries.

But after the latest estimated death toll (likely over 1,000) or wacky pronouncement from Ghadaffi (al-Qaeda is “putting drugs in protesters’ milk and coffee“), the analysis soon turns to what really concerns us (or rather, our own regime): the price of oil (Libyan output down 75%).

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