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Do as I say, not as I do

In this week’s conservative hypocritical moment, likely presidential candidate Mike Huckabee condemned Oscar winner Natalie Portman for “glamourising” her out-of-wedlock pregnancy:

One of the things that’s troubling is that people see a Natalie Portman or some other Hollywood starlet who boasts of, “Hey look, you know, we’re having children, we’re not married, but we’re having these children, and they’re doing just fine.” There aren’t really a lot of single mums out there who are making millions of dollars every year for being in a movie. Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care. And that’s the story that we’re not seeing, and it’s unfortunate that we glorify and glamourise the idea of out of children wedlock.

I don’t necessarily disagree with Huckabee’s point (although his last sentence is a bit tangled). However, back when Bristol Palin announced her out-of-wedlock pregnancy during the 2008 campaign, Huckabee didn’t think it was a big deal. Huckabee said then that the surprise pregnancy announcement should not affect support for Sarah Palin in the conservative and religious right communities, and claimed that it was ok since Bristol was going to keep the baby and marry the child’s father.

Of course, those two cases are completely different. After all Bristol Palin never did marry Levi Johnston. And Portman is not only in a stable relationship with the father of her upcoming child, but is engaged to him.

Maybe Huckabee is just having a Dan Quayle moment, although at least Huckabee is picking on a real person, instead of a fictional one.

[hat tip to Andrew Sullivan]

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For Whom The Road Tolls

If you attempt to pay a highway toll Florida with a 20 dollar bill (or larger), you could be detained and not allowed to leave until you provide identification. That sounds inconvenient, but detaining someone without legal authority is actually a serious crime.

So Florida resident Joel Chandler called and emailed the Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) to ask why they were doing this, and they responded that there was no policy to detain people who use large bills. And yet pretty much every time he attempted to pay a road toll with a large bill, he was either detained or threatened with arrest unless he came up with a smaller bill. Chandler continued to complain to FDOT, but continued to be told by them that they didn’t know what he was talking about.

However, internal FDOT emails show that not only did they know about the policy, but that they knew it was illegal and tried to cover it up. But that still doesn’t explain why they were doing it in the first place.

Chandler thinks that it was motivated by racial bias. The toll takers have a form they can fill out when they stop someone who is “suspicious” and it has a place to write down the reason. 87% of the reasons given were racial descriptions such as “young black male” or “young hispanic male”.

What makes this even crazier is that the internal emails try to justify this practice as a way to combat counterfeit bills. After all, using a large bill to pay a small toll seems like a handy way for a criminal to pass those bills and get back real change.

However, over a two and a half year period, FDOT only received $16,000 in counterfeit bills. In response, they spent $32,000 just on the forms they printed to try to stop counterfeiting. Of course, one could claim that it is reasonable to spend that extra money, since they are helping to catch counterfeiters. And yet, in the 885 times FDOT claimed it received counterfeit money, they never referred a single case to any law enforcement agency.

Chandler estimates that the illegal detainment happened at least five million times. If a class action suit were filed against FDOT, and the court were to award everyone who was illegally detained even a small amount of compensation, it would cost the state hundreds of millions of dollars.

But the real issue here is that the state is doing something illegal, and is even trying to cover it up. This is an excellent example of why we need transparency in government.

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It’s a Tea Party World


© Tom Tomorrow

What’s ironic about this is that it seems to be working.

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Late Night Political Humor

“The Middle East has their own Charlie Sheen right now: Moammar Gadhafi.” – Conan O’Brien

“Moammar Gadhafi is starting to sound a little crazy. Al-Jazeera canceled his show, ‘Two and a Half Shiites.'” – David Letterman

“They’re saying Gadhafi is ‘disconnected from reality.’ According to the State Department, Gadhafi thought this year’s Oscars were fantastic.” – Conan O’Brien

“Gadhafi said his people ‘love him.’ I think that’s what he said. It was hard to hear over the rebel gunfire.” – David Letterman

“A federal watchdog agency says that overlapping and duplicate programs waste billions of dollars each year. Congress is taking this study so seriously that they’re ordering a second study to look into it.” – Jay Leno

“New Hampshire is debating a bill to classify some airport screenings as sexual assault. California is debating a bill that would classify those same screenings as ‘doing what you need to do to get the part.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Bristol Palin is releasing a book called ‘Not Afraid of Life.’ Meanwhile, Sarah Palin is releasing a book called, ‘I’m Afraid of Books.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Sarah Palin was so accomplished as Governor she graduated early.” – Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart Explains the Difference Between Teachers and Wall Street CEOs

My hat’s off to the Daily Show. Pure genius.

How can the American people believe this crap coming from the mainstream media?

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You can bank on that


© Matt Davies

We know why the states are facing big deficits — because the collapse of the economy lowered tax revenues. And we know who caused the economy to collapse. So why are we punishing state workers?

I’m guessing that if you took all those bonuses that were awarded to bankers, it would more than pay for all the teachers we need.

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More Unnecessary Deficit Spending

A few days ago, I posted a story about the Republicans unanimously voting to give $5 billion a year in subsidies to big oil companies, which even oil company executives said they didn’t need.

Well, it happened again. This time, Congress voted to spend $13 billion on not one but two weapon system programs, which (and here’s the kicker) the military doesn’t even want. That’s right, Congress loves the military so much, that they can’t help but waste billions of dollars on completely unnecessary, unneeded, and unwanted weapons programs. In fact, one of these programs will cost so much just to maintain (assuming it ever works) that it will cause funding problems for other weapons systems that the Pentagon does want, and so stands a good chance of reducing our military readiness.

And this time, it wasn’t just the Republicans — joining 227 Republicans in voting for this grotesque monstrosity were 79 Democrats (even though the White House wanted the programs canceled).

And here’s the bonus hypocritical part. In defending this outright gift to General Dynamics and Raytheon (who together spent $18 million on lobbying and $3.7 million on campaign contributions), three members of Congress argued that its cancelation would cost jobs.

I kid you not.

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The Logic of Hate


© Kevin Siers

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Late Night Political Humor

“On a rambling call to a TV station, Gadhafi ranted about his enemies and blamed others for his problems. He said he feels fine and is ready to go back to work. He’s now the Charlie Sheen of Libya.” – Jay Leno

“People complained that the Oscars were too dull. They’ve already named the hosts for next year: Charlie Sheen and Moammar Gadhafi.” – Conan O’Brien

“The latest rumor is that Moammar Gadhafi is calling other countries to find a place to live in exile. So far, only Chile has offered to rent out an empty mine.” – Jay Leno

“Moammar Gadhafi is blaming Osama bin Laden for all of Libya’s troubles. It’s going to be awkward when these two guys meet in hell.” – Conan O’Brien

“CBS has shut down Charlie Sheen’s show, ‘Two and a Half Men.’ Now I’m back to being CBS’ No. 1 paid embarrassment.” – David Letterman

“Sarah Palin is going to India to make a speech. She’s hoping to visit some of those Indian casinos she’s heard so much about.” – Jay Leno

“People from all 50 states and 14 foreign countries have donated pizzas to the protesters in Wisconsin. Someone asked, “How can we fix things in Wisconsin?” and someone else said, “I know. More cheese.” – Conan O’Brien

“‘King Kong’ opened 78 years ago. It’s the story of a woman that gets carried away by an ape. The same thing happened to Maria Shriver.” – David Letterman

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Mission Accompliated


© Matt Bors

I just don’t see how they can prosecute Julian Assange unless they also prosecute Bush and Cheney for what they did to Valerie Plame.

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Westboro Baptist Crock

Today, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the Westboro Baptist Church, protecting their right of free speech. This is a case where you can easily read the official court opinion — or at least the summary, rather than believing what some media pundit says about it.

The ruling was almost unanimous, with only Justice Alito dissenting. And you know what, despite what I think of WBC, I think it was the proper decision. The First Amendment to the Constitution applies even when we don’t like the speech being protected. Or as the Washington Post puts it, the right to be ugly. Really ugly.

On the other hand, there are plenty of other ways to go after WBC. The court decision mentions some postings to the WBC website that specifically denounced the plaintiff and which might be grounds for libel, but which they did not consider in this ruling. I would be more than happy if such a libel suit was successful, since the First Amendment does not protect against libel.

In addition, the Supreme Court has ruled that it is acceptable to place restrictions on the WBC protests — for example, requiring them to be a certain distance from a funeral. Or they may be in violation of hate speech laws.

As far as I can tell, the WBC does attempt to stay within the law, although they do occasionally slip up. There was an interesting post last month that claims that WBC is not even actually a real church, but is instead a moneymaking scam. After all, the founder of this “church” is a (now disbarred) lawyer, as is virtually every member of his family, and a large percentage of the church members (especially the ones who travel around the country picketing funerals) are lawyers. The scam is that they purposely use language as incendiary as possible, while staying within the law. Then, when someone fights back, they sue them for money for violating their rights. If this is true, it is one massively screwed up business model.

At the very least, I would love for the IRS to find a reason take away their tax exempt status. Hate does not a religion make.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi described President Obama as an African of Arab and Muslim descent. After the speech, Gadhafi was given his own show on Fox News.” – Conan O’Brien

“Moammar Gadhafi said that Libyan protesters were all on drugs, and then he blamed it on Al Qaeda. Now, he’s saying it’s the fault of the teachers unions.” – Jay Leno

“Gadhafi said no sane person would join the protests against him. He then joined the protests against himself.” – Conan O’Brien

“The price of oil is rising because of all the unrest in the Middle East. And the unrest in Wisconsin is causing the price of cheese to go through the roof.” – Jay Leno

“Gas is so expensive now that BP actually started inspecting their oil rigs.” – Jay Leno

“The White House is considering supporting same sex marriage. Experts are attributing the change to shifting public attitudes, recent court cases, and the President catching a recent episode of ‘Glee.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Congratulations to Rahm Emanuel on being elected mayor of Chicago. His first order of business after taking office will be to actually move to Chicago.” – Jay Leno

“Sarah Palin is going to a political conference in India next month. Palin said she’s loved India ever since she saw ‘Hoosiers.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“The White House hosted a concert to celebrate the ‘Motown sound,’ which featured Nick Jonas. Nothing says Motown like a Jonas brother.” – Craig Ferguson

“Facebook has decided to ban a new app that sends you an e-mail when your crush becomes single. So you’ll just have to find out if they’re single the old-fashioned way: by clicking on their Facebook profile 30 or 40 times a day.” – Jimmy Fallon

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Why?


© Lee Judge

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Oiling their Palms

Back in 2008, the CEO of Shell Oil, John Hofmeister, testified in Congressional hearings that when oil and gasoline prices are high that big oil companies do not need the subsidies they get from the government. He also noted that executives of major oil companies agree.

These federal subsidies were originally designed to encourage exploration for oil, but Hofmeister says that there is more than enough incentive to drill when oil prices are above $70 a barrel, which they have been since the middle of 2007. In fact, oil is well over $100/bbl now.

Fast forward to now. Hofmeister is now retired as the CEO of Shell, but last month he repeated his statement that the big oil companies do not need these subsidies to Congressman Edward Markey (D-MA), who then introduced legislation to eliminate $5 billion a year in subsidies to major oil and gas companies.

The Republicans claim that they are trying to reduce government spending. They are more than willing to cut teacher pay, eliminate firefighters, and other drastic measures that will hurt us as a country. But when House Democrats offered a Motion to Recommit to the Republican’s short-term spending bill to end subsidies to large oil companies, the Republicans voted against it. Unanimously.

This should come as no surprise. Republicans have received three times as many campaign contribution dollars from big oil companies as do Democrats. So of course Republicans are not going to reduce the deficit by billions of dollars a year, even though the oil companies are hugely profitable and in fact admit they don’t even need these subsidies.

I guess some spending is more equal than other spending. They are more than willing to reduce the deficit on the backs of the middle class, the poor, and the elderly, but won’t spend a penny less for their friends in big multinational corporations.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Economists say that with all this unrest, gas prices could rise to $5 a gallon. The good news is that instead of this money going to ruthless America-hating dictators, it will go to ruthless America-hating democracies.” – Jay Leno

“In 50 years, gas-powered cars will be antiquated. You’ll only see them in museums, or in Jay Leno’s garage.” – Craig Ferguson

“Moammar Gadhafi has promised to die defending his regime. He’s the kind of guy that has a bad idea and just sticks with it.” – Craig Ferguson

“Gadhafi was rambling on military TV and no one was paying attention. Now he’s crossed the line, because that’s my thing.” – Craig Ferguson

“Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has said Gadhafi has gone too far. That’s like an Australian bartender telling you that you’ve had too much to drink.” – Craig Ferguson

“All these regimes are toppling, and today the King of Saudi Arabia announced a $37 billion handout to his people, and I thought, ‘Now there’s a coincidence.'” – Craig Ferguson

“The king of Saudi Arabia announced that he is giving his people $37 billion in subsidies and payments. It’s not a stimulus package, it’s a ‘don’t overthrow me’ package.” – Jay Leno

“Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid says he wants to outlaw prostitution in his home state of Nevada. Prostitutes say they’re not going to take this lying down. For less than $50 bucks an hour.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid says he wants to outlaw prostitution in his home state of Nevada. He said he wants to keep prostitution where it belongs — in Washington, D.C.” – Jimmy Fallon

“George Clooney says he’s had sex with too many women to ever run for office. He was immediately made Prime Minister of Italy.” – Conan O’Brien

“A new poll shows that Donald Trump could beat President Obama in 2012. The poll was taken by Trump Polls International.” – Conan O’Brien

“President Obama has appointed AOL founder Steve Case to the White House jobs council. Hiring the founder of AOL is expensive, but Obama got a CD-ROM in the mail that offered 100 free hours.” – Jimmy Fallon

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