Political Irony

© The New Yorker

For a slightly cruder analogy of our current economic situation, see this comic.

© Glenn McCoy

I’m not completely sure what this comic means, but it made me laugh nonetheless.

“We finally have a debt deal. See what happens when the two parties put aside their principles and do what is best for them personally?” – Jay Leno

“We finally have a deal on the debt ceiling. But get this – Democratic Congressman Emanuel Cleaver is referring to the plan as a ‘sugar-coated Satan sandwich.’ Or as Americans put it, ‘Sugar-coated? Yum – I’ll take six, please!” – Jimmy Fallon

“If the Senate approves the debt deal, President Obama will sign it into law by the end of the day. All it took was the threat of financial Armageddon to get both sides working together.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The Tea Party is not happy with the deal. Everything they wanted is not enough.” – David Letterman

“The debt deal sets the debt limit until 2013. The best part is that it prevents another ‘Smurfs’ movie before 2014.” – Conan O’Brien

“It’s what they call a ‘two-step’ deal. It steps on the middle class and the lower class.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama says that for his birthday, he wants a deal on the national debt. In other news, Michelle Obama is at the Apple store trying to buy a $4 trillion iTunes gift card.” – Conan O’Brien

“President Obama changed his slogan from ‘Yes we can,’ to ‘Yes we cave.'” – Jay Leno

“Obama achieved the same kind of compromise with the Republicans that Custer reached with Sitting Bull.” – David Letterman

“Democrats say they didn’t lie down. They say they were planking.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Oprah Winfrey announced plans to return to television with a new show. That’s how bad things are in this country – even Oprah has run out of money.” – Conan O’Brien

“An ex-Louisiana governor just married a woman 51 years younger. Or as Hugh Hefner put it, ‘Does she have a daughter?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Happy birthday to Arnold Schwarzenegger. The best part about having an illegitimate kid is an extra birthday present this year.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“McDonald’s is planning to open a restaurant every day in China for the next four years. It’s nice — When kids get their Happy Meal toy, they’re like, ‘Cool! I made this.'” – Jimmy Fallon

© Ruben Bolling

And the spirit lives on!

“The whole Congress has to stay there for the whole weekend. The Tea Party Republicans are especially pissed off at this — a lot of them had to cancel their Civil War Reenactments.” – Bill Maher

“Their plan is to not pay our bills and hope nobody gets too mad about it. Call me crazy, but I think the government owes an apology to Wesley Snipes. Wasn’t that his plan?” – Bill Maher

“One of the leading Tea Partiers, Congressman Joe Walsh, he famously went on YouTube and wagged his finger at Obama and said, ‘Have you no shame, Mr. President?’ It turns out he is $117,000 delinquent in his child support. Have you irony, Mr. Congressman? He had an excuse. He said his kids don’t have a child support problem; they have a spending problem.” – Bill Maher

“The Republicans attached 39 riders to the bill repealing environmental protection laws. One of them forbade the government to add any more animals to the endangered species list. Sorry, woodpeckers, but once we get rid of Social Security the old people are going to have to eat something.” – Bill Maher

“By midweek the Democrats had given to the Republicans more than they originally asked for when these negotiations started. The Republicans still wouldn’t take it. The Democrats — getting rid of the Bush tax cuts? No, that’s off the table. Limiting deductions on corporate jets? No, off the table. Ending subsidies for oil companies? Off the table. The only thing that is on the table is the Democrats, bent over.” – Bill Maher

“The essence of the problem is something I’ve been saying for years. One party has no brains; the other party has no balls. Is it really too much to ask that there be one party with both?” – Bill Maher

“John Boehner’s plan: no tax increases and a trillion dollars in cuts. Harry Reid’s paln: no tax increases, $2 trillion in cuts. This makes it very hard for the White House, because if the Democrats don’t stand up for what they believe in, how can Obama sell them out?” – Bill Maher

“Earlier today the House passed Boehner’s version of the bill. He got tough with his own party. He said, ‘Get your ass in line.’ That’s what he said. Doesn’t that sound like something Kim Kardashian’s chiropractor would say?” – Jay Leno

“Someone said President Obama was wrong for telling the American people to call their representatives about the debt ceiling. If there’s one thing that congressmen hate, it’s being told what to do by the people that put them there.” – Jay Leno

“If the debt limit isn’t lifted by midnight next Tuesday, President Obama is going to switch to Plan B: a nationwide ‘going out of business’ sale. Everything is 50% off! All government buildings! All parks! Everything must go!” – Jay Leno

“As they say in Washington, ‘If it ain’t broke, it will be by Tuesday.'” –Jay Leno

“According to reports, Apple now has more cash on hand than the U.S. government. Which sounds impressive until you realize that Radio Shack has more cash on hand… Actually, the big difference between Apple and the government is that their stuff is made in China, while we’re owned by China. Two different things.” – Jay Leno

“Gov. Chris Christie was hospitalized yesterday, he had trouble breathing. He first noticed there was a problem when he had difficulty inhaling a pizza.” – Bill Maher

“He was in the supermarket, and he felt a tightness in his chest, and then he realized he got stuck in the dairy case. He’s OK. The hospital today upgraded his condition to gigantic. The doctors say he was already up and about, and taking helicopters to travel 20 feet.” – Bill Maher

“But the doctors said to Governor Christie ‘you have got to stop eating ice cream out of big five gallon tubs’ and he said ‘why?’ And the doctor said ‘so I can examine you.'” – Bill Maher

“New Jersey governor Chris Christie was released from the hospital today. Good news. I guess he had some blockage or something. He told reporters he feels “fabulous.” When Michele Bachman’s husband heard that, he said, “We have a clinic that can cure you of that! We can fix that.” – Jay Leno

“Some big election news. It’s rumored that Sarah Palin will announce her presidential campaign at a Labor Day rally in Iowa. Palin has a great speech planned — she’s like, ‘We have to do this as a team! Remember, there is no ‘I’ in Iowa!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“House Democrats want President Obama to invoke the 14th Amendment, which would let him raise the debt ceiling on his own. Or as most people put it, ‘Wait, you could have done that the whole time?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“According to a poll, 77 percent of Americans blame Republican leaders for the coming default and 58 percent blame President Obama. There’s the problem: That makes 135 percent. How can we balance the budget if we can’t even add up the poll numbers?” – Jay Leno

“The government is just a few days from running out of money to pay their bills. The latest plan is to see how much cash they can get for John McCain on ‘Antiques Roadshow.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Only five days until the United States defaults. Or, four days and 23 hours until Congress does anything.” – Jay Leno

“House Speaker John Boehner is urging Republicans to support his bill by telling them to get their asses in line. That’s what he said — get their asses in line. This is typical Washington — if it’s not Obama kissing Wall Street’s ass, it’s Boehner kicking ass, or it’s Congressman David Wu grabbing ass. They’re a bunch of asses.” – Jay Leno

“At a White House GOP meeting the other night, House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy tried to inspire everyone by showing a clip from the movie, ‘The Town’. Is that the best movie for Congress, “The Town”? How many think ‘Dumb and Dumber’ would be a better movie?” – Jay Leno

“You understand any of this? I don’t understand…the Republicans have ‘cut, cap, and balance.’ That’s no good. Of course the Democrats have their plan, “duck and cover.” That doesn’t work either.” – Jay Leno

“Only 17% of Americans believe the country is headed in the right direction. Which makes me think it might be time for a woman President. At least a woman would stop and ask for directions.” – Jay Leno

“After two weeks in the theaters, the documentary about Sarah Palin called ‘Undefeated’… not doing well… barely made $100,000. I’m not saying Sarah Palin’s movie is a bomb, but today Al Qaeda tried to take credit.” – Jay Leno

“According to a recent survey, kids are receiving an average of 40 cents less from the tooth fairy. That’s right, the economy is so bad that even make-believe people are feeling the pinch.” – Conan O’Brien

“Facebook has added ‘civil union’ to its status updates. And next week they’re adding “whatever Michele Bachmann and her husband are up to.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Happy birthday to Arnold Schwarzenegger. He celebrated quietly with half his money.” – David Letterman

“New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was rushed to the hospital when he felt he couldn’t breathe. Doctors said the condition is called ‘living in New Jersey.'” – Jay Leno

“Bill Gates, the guy who invented computers and internet porn, has designed a new toilet that uses no water whatsoever. I was going to get one, but my dog talked me out of it. In New York we call a toilet without water the subway.” – David Letterman

“Thirty-three soldiers from the Mexican army were allowed to return home after accidentally crossing the border into the United States. That’s how bad things are. People are only crossing the border accidentally.” – Conan O’Brien