A reporter trying to cover the Wall Street protests in Nashville manages to record his own arrest, including the reporter trying to comply with orders from the police but not being allowed to, and the state trooper forcing him to the ground. Not recorded is any evidence at all of the apparently made up charge that the reporter was intoxicated.
But it gets worse. The curfew used to arrest the protestors is unconstitutional.
Bank of America has announced that it has changed its mind and will not start charging customers $5 a month for using their debit cards. Other banks have dropped similar fees as well.
Of course, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and for them to announce other fees instead.
“In a new interview, Rick Perry said it was a mistake for him to participate in the presidential debates. Perry said ‘I’m not one of these ‘word talkers’.'” – Conan O’Brien
“According to polls, Rick Perry has now fallen to fifth place. You know who is in fourth place? Carrot Top.” – Jay Leno
“Rick Perry is now behind in the polls and he’s not taking it well. Today he executed his pollster.” – David Letterman
“In an interview last night, Rick Perry criticized Mitt Romney for flip-flopping on the issues. Romney said that Perry has no idea what he’s talking about. Then he added, ‘But he does know what he’s talking about.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Michele Bachmann told reporters that she will lead the nation in prayer if she is elected president. You know if she is elected president, we all better be praying. She doesn’t have to lead us.” – Jay Leno
“Michele Bachmann said she wants her three daughters to learn to shoot a gun. Mostly so they can put her campaign out of its misery.” – Conan O’Brien
“We had President Obama on the show last night. I think the president enjoys visiting NBC because we’re the only place that has lower numbers than he does.” – Jay Leno
“Hillary Clinton turns 64 years old today. Happy birthday. Today, Donald Trump demanded to see her birth certificate.” – David Letterman
“A couple of days ago they found (Moammar Gadhafi) hiding in a storm sewer, and they pulled him out and killed him. … In three years, he would have been eligible for his pension! … Yep and he left his entire wardrobe to Lady Gaga.” – David Letterman
“The McRib is back. You know, I wondered what they were going to do with Gadhafi’s body.” – Jay Leno
You want to cut spending in Washington? Cut the money spent by special interests on lobbying!
After almost everyone made fun of Herman Cain’s campaign ad showing his chief of staff taking a long drag on a cigarette, I thought it couldn’t get any better.
But it did. Watch Jon Huntsman’s daughters’ parody ad, which simultaneously “shamelessly” promotes their father for president:
Why can’t this guy get any traction with the Republicans?
“Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich said that next month they’re going to take part in a Lincoln-Douglas style debate. The only similarity to the actual Lincoln-Douglas debates is that no one will watch them on television.” – Conan O’Brien
“A group called the Texas Tea Party Patriots is hosting a debate next month where Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain will go head to head, while people watching that will go head to pillow.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he’s retooling. He’s adding advisers to his campaign team. This guy had advisers? Really?” – David Letterman
“Rick Perry unveiled his new tax plan. He says he wants a flat tax. He believes that tax should be flat, just like the earth.” – Jay Leno
“Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.” – David Letterman
“New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is going to Israel. He’s going to be pretty disappointed when he finds out the Gaza Strip isn’t a steak.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Michele Bachmann’s campaign is in a lot of trouble. Five staffers quit her campaign, claiming it was because she treated them like second-class citizens. However, Bachmann said, ‘That’s not true. At no time did I treat them like gays or Latinos.'” – Conan O’Brien
“A Libyan rebel has admitted to killing Moammar Gadhafi. He said he shot Gadhafi twice in the temple, to which Michele Bachmann said, ‘I didn’t even know the guy was Jewish.'” – Jay Leno
“Moammar Gadhafi was found hiding in a storm sewer with a gold-plated gun. That’s me in retirement, ladies and gentlemen.” – David Letterman
“They have buried Moammar Gadhafi at a secret undisclosed location. In other words, it’s going to be the best season of ‘The Amazing Race’ yet.” – Conan O’Brien
“So the guy who shot Gadhafi was wearing a Yankees cap. Did you see that? If he’d had a Boston Red Sox hat on he probably would have missed.” – David Letterman
“As you know, President Obama is here in Los Angeles He’s raising money for a huge disaster relief project. It’s called NBC.” – Jay Leno
“It feels weird, because we’re taping the show extra early tonight. It’s rare that we change what time we tape the show to accommodate a guest’s schedule. In fact, the only people we’ve ever done it for are the president and Lindsay Lohan.” – Jay Leno
“President Obama just launched his own blog on the website Tumblr. Incidentally, ‘tumbler’ is what you call President Obama after looking at his poll numbers.” – Jimmy Fallon
“So, you hear that, Michelle Obama? You can take your celery sticks and throw them in the deep fryer.” – Jimmy Kimmel
The problem with this argument is that almost everyone, including libertarians, thinks that there are some things that have to be done by the government. Defense, for example, or police. People who want no government at all are anarchists. So when a conservative says that government is the problem and it is always better to reduce the size and role of government, they are simply lying (or are stupid). What they are really saying is that they don’t want government to do some things (like preventing them from polluting the environment), but they do want government to do other things (even things government doesn’t currently do, like outlaw abortion).
“I don’t know what they are protesting at Occupy Wall Street but I’m on their side. But 10,000 protestors and one Porta Potty?” – David Letterman
“I love the protests. And if you think about it, what better way to send a message to Wall Street than by sitting in a pup tent banging on a drum.” – David Letterman
“There’s so many protestors now they are going to move them out of the park and put them in a pothole. You know, that one over on 8th Avenue.” – David Letterman
“A bank in Washington was robbed by two men in George W. Bush masks. Luckily, right afterwards two guys in President Obama masks came and bailed the bank out, so everything is fine.” – Conan O’Brien
“President Obama is in Vegas for a fundraiser. He spent the visit working on his new economic recovery plan, ‘Come on, seven!” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama was back in Los Angeles today, where he will appear on the ‘Tonight Show’ with Jay Leno, to highlight the one job that was saved during his administration.” – Conan O’Brien
“I’m very excited that President Obama is coming tomorrow night and as you know he’s on his nationwide ‘I Whacked Another Terrorist’ tour.” – Jay Leno
“So they caught Gadhafi in a storm sewer and shot him. Or as they call it in the Middle East, an orderly transfer of power.” – David Letterman
“The guy who killed Gadhafi was wearing a New York Yankees cap at the time. So, for at least one Yankees fan, it turned out to be a pretty good October.” – Jay Leno
“The New York Times reports that Moammar Gadhafi spent his last days hovering between defiance and delusion, surviving on rice and pasta. In other words, Gadhafi spent his last days as a sophomore in college. That’s what I did.” – Conan O’Brien
“It seemed that after he was killed, Gadhafi’s body was stored at a commercial freezer at a shopping mall. It’s one thing to hunt a guy down and shoot him twice in the head, but then to drag him to the mall? Come on, guys hate that.” – Jay Leno
“I just read that a bear broke into a candy store in Tennessee and started eating all the candy. That’s right, a live bear filled with candy. Or as Sarah Palin calls that, ‘the best piñata ever.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver’s license.” – David Letterman
“Yesterday on CNN, Joe Biden said he hasn’t made up his mind about whether he’ll run for president in 2016. Which raises the question: ‘Who was raising that question?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“The world was supposed to end Friday. I don’t think it did, though. Harold Camping also predicted the apocalypse was going to happen back in May and I don’t think that one happened either. Well, you know what they say, the third apocalypse is the charm.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“This is reported to be the 12th time Camping has predicted the end of the world, the first time being in 1978. Not only is he bad at predicting things but he’s kind of a bummer to hang out with.” – Jimmy Kimmel
Abortion Bush Campaign Finance Cheney Climate Clinton Congress Conservatives Corporations Corruption Deficits Democrats Drugs Economy Education Election Elections Energy Environment Fox News Gays Guns Health Immigration Lies McCain Media Middle East Obama Palin Protests Racism Religion Republicans Romney Spying Supreme Court Taxes Tea Party Terrorism Terrorists Torture Trump Unemployment War
