Political Irony

Wednesday, we reviewed 3 of 99 things to know about Mitt. Just to be fairly fair, today we’ll consider the 1 thing worth knowing about each of the other Republican candidates.

• Cain – He’s not running! He’s selling books and primping himself for a cushy job at Faux News
• Santorum – Santorum, ’nuff said, I ain’t linking to THAT!
• Gingrich – serial philanderer and perpetual hypocrite (and this link is hating him for the few good things he said!). Haven’t we seen enough.
• Perry – Was he drunk at the cornerstone speech? Perhaps dementia? Which is worse?
• Bachmann – She’s just plain bat-shit crazy.
• Huntsman – He could beat Obama but he’s NOT bat-shit crazy … so Republicans won’t nominate him.

Our last Late Night Political Humor post focused exclusively on Herman Cain. Today we demonstrate we are able to laugh without Cain.

“The people beat Bank of America, who withdrew their $5 debit fee. Instead, the bank is going to replace that with a $60 annual fee.” – Jay Leno

“A new poll taken abroad found that President Obama’s policies are more popular overseas than they are here in America. That’s because he’s created more jobs overseas than here in America.” – Jay Leno

“According to a new poll, 42 percent of Americans say they are uncomfortable with the idea of having a Mormon president. When asked why, the people said, ‘We’re still getting used to having a Muslim president.'” – Conan O’Brien

Don’t blame me for finding only three funny non-Cain jokes from four nights of humor, Cain is demonstrating that he can keep the late night comics employed all by himself.

There is one joke that appears to be about Herman Cain that unfortunately is actually about his accusers. I did not use it before because I find it repugnant. I’ll repeat it here not as humor but as an example of how victims are further humiliated after stepping forward.

It was funny when Jay Leno said, “One of the Herman Cain women was paid $35,000 and another was paid $45,000, so he’s saying it just proves he can create high-paying jobs for women.” Leno should not have added, “I’d like to see the women and find out what the $10,000 difference was.” These two women do not deserve that.

UPDATE: In the comments, DON recommends an excellent column about “the problem we have as a society dealing with victims of sexual abuse and assault.” It addresses both the Cain accusations and the Penn State scandal. Please read the full article but this paragraph especially gripped me: “The creepiest part for me is the air of titillation that surrounds the reports. If a coach had assaulted a child in some other way – knocked him unconscious, say – then the reaction would almost certainly have been straightforward. You can’t beat a kid up. Get out of here, and we’re reporting you. But with a sexual assault, there’s an intolerable level of coyness and prevarication.”

– Iron Filing

I have been reluctant to pile on Cain in a jocular manner about the sexual harassment charges. All sexual harassment claims should be taken very seriously. It takes incredible bravery for any sexual assault victim to step forward and endure embarrassment and humiliation as bad or worse than the original offense. Still, although false accusations are rare, they do exist. The Duke Lacrosse players may have been sexist, privileged jerks but they weren’t rapists. They also were violated in a repulsive manner and may never fully heal.

However, with Cain’s erratic defense and now that he has attacked his self-identified accuser with such insensitivity to the complex dynamics of sexual assault reporting, pile on I will. – Iron Filing

“Forget president — this guy could be premier of Italy.” – David Letterman

“I have a lot of Herman Cain jokes but I cannot do them; I am bound by a confidentiality agreement.” – Bill Maher

“Some God father’s Pizza customers said they found it odd that he would tell them to hold the sausage.” – Bill Maher

“There are fourteen more Republican debates and they are running out of formats…next they are going to do one where they are in sleeping bags around the campfire and then one where they are blindfolded and nude and have to figure out who each other is by touching.” – Bill Maher

“One of the Herman Cain women was paid $35,000 and another was paid $45,000, so he’s saying it just proves he can create high-paying jobs for women.” – Jay Leno

“Herman Cain was unaware that China is a nuclear power. And I said to myself, ‘Hey, Herman, how about making an unwanted advance on a history book?'” – David Letterman