Political Irony

“Herman Cain is going to be on David Letterman next week. Cain and Letterman on the same show. Has there ever been a worse time to be an intern?” – Jay Leno

“It was so quiet in the theater last night. I’m telling you it was quieter here than dinner at Herman Cain’s house.” – David Letterman

“As if Cain’s troubles couldn’t get worse, today, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie accused Herman Cain of skimping on the pepperoni.” – David Letterman

“Herman Cain said he would beat Obama by ‘beating him with a Cain.’ Obama said, ‘I’m just glad I’m not running against Anthony Weiner.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“There was an awkward moment when Herman Cain turned to Michele Bachmann and asked her what she was willing to do to get the job.” – Conan O’Brien

“Today it’s 61 and foggy, like Rick Perry. But it’s nice to see a guy running for President who’s only groping for words.” – David Letterman

I was able to include almost all of the new Cain jokes this time. Perhaps the late night writers are over their juvenile titillating first response characterized by jokes too focused on the victims. This is probably the last time I’ll isolate Cain from his equally un-able siblings. – Iron Filing

Thank you Rick Perry for becoming the shiny bauble that distracted the late night comedy writers away from Herman Cain! – Iron Filing

“I’m worried about Rick Perry. For one, I’m worried that maybe he’s too conservative. Two, I worry a little bit about his debating skills. And three, I — Oh, what was three?” – David Letterman

“When you have a little trouble recalling, they call that a senior moment. More like Bush, junior moment.” – David Letterman

“Tomorrow is 11-11-11! Or as Rick Perry calls it: ’11-11-Wait don’t tell me, I will get this. I know there is a third one.'” – Conan O’Brien

“I think there’s one more thing Perry can forget, too: Being president.” – Jay Leno

After 30 seconds of stuttering, Rick Perry said, ‘Oops.’ Incidentally, saying ‘Oops’ after 30 seconds is why Justin Bieber has to take a paternity test. ‘Oops’ is the same thing being said by everyone who donated to Rick Perry.” – Jimmy Fallon

“That was more than a brain fart. That was brain explosive diarrhea.” – Daily Show correspondent John Oliver

“Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won’t even remember them.” – Jimmy Fallon

Big news from last night’s Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.” – Jimmy Fallon

“It’s not a good week for Republican memories. Rick Perry forgot the name of the agency he wanted to cut. Herman Cain forgot there was a harassment settlement. And Ron Paul forgot he has no chance of winning.” – Craig Ferguson

“Most analysts agree the big debate winner last night was Mitt Romney, who stuck closely to his strategy of not being any of the other candidates.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Michele Bachmann says she won’t rest until Obamacare is repealed. Or until she kidnaps all 101 Dalmatians.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“You know what you call a Democrat who makes as many verbal gaffes as Rick Perry? Vice president.” – Jay Leno

I’m not sure that the one about Romney’s “strategy of not being any of the other candidates” is actually a joke. Ironically, all the other candidates are counting on not being Mitt Romney as a successful strategy. – Iron Filing

Over the last week I have found it increasingly difficult to post Political Irony’s only regular feature, “Late Night Political Humor” because of the preponderance of Herman Cain sexual harassment jokes.

Today, and until I come up with better criteria, I’ll not publish jokes that seem to put too much attention on the accusers as individuals. A lot did not make the cut. – Iron Filing

“Herman Cain says he will not quit. He is going to stay in the race. You know what that means? He’ll be gone in a week.” –David Letterman

“Mitt Romney said he created thousands of jobs as governor of Massachusetts. Rick Perry said he created thousands as governor of Texas. Herman Cain said he tried to create a number of jobs for women but now he’s getting attacked for it all of a sudden.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Herman Cain said he would be willing to take a lie detector test. But that’s kind of a double-edged sword. If he fails, his career is over. And if he passes and it turns out he’s not a liar, he’s obviously not cut out for politics.” –Jay Leno

“If the earth was visited by aliens, this could be a huge problem for the Republican party. I mean, Michele Bachmann would want to deport them, Rick Perry would want to execute them, Mitt Romney would be undecided about what to do, and Herman Cain would try to take them up to his room.” –Jay Leno

“There’s a fifth woman that claims to have had a problem with Herman Cain. If this keeps up, it seems very unlikely he will be president, although it seems more and more likely he will become governor of California.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Earlier today Herman Cain rejected calls that he should withdraw from the race. He said, ‘It ain’t gonna happen!’ That’s what he said. Ironically, that’s what women say to him when he’d put his hand up their skirt.” –Jay Leno

‎”The harassment allegations keep coming at Herman Cain — like an uninvited hand up a pleated skirt.” –Stephen Colbert