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Relentless Focus on Creating Jobs

After the 2010 midterm elections, the Republicans declared that their top priority was creating jobs. Mike Stanfill started keeping a list of all Republican Congressional activity, to see if the Republicans were telling the truth. As Stanfill notes, the fact that his list “has reached its currently imposing length without one anecdotal citation of new employment is astonishing.”

So he gave the list its own website: http://www.republicanjobcreation.com/

Stanfill’s conclusion is spot on:

Sorry. No job creation here. In fact, if you want to really understand what the Republican Party is trying to tell you simply insert the phrase “corporate profits” every time they say “jobs”.

I’ll keep adding to this list until the Republican House does something to create jobs but I unhappily predict this is gonna be one lonnnnng list. After all, you don’t get rid of a sitting president by helping the economy.

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Late Night Political Humor

“North Korean leader Kim Jong Il died of a heart attack. No one knows what triggers it. He had a lot of money riding apparently on the Denver Broncos so he was pretty upset.” – Conan O’Brien

“Kim Jong Il, the crazy leader of North Korea who hates us, passed away over the weekend. And get this — his 28-year-old son, Kim Jong Un is taking over. It won’t be easy. He’s got some big women’s sunglasses to fill.” – Jimmy Fallon

“North Korea announced the passing of their supreme leader, Kim Jong Il. His younger son will take over. At first, there was speculation that power could pass to one of Kim’s two sisters, Kourtney Jong Il or Khloe Jong Il.” – Jay Leno

“It is being reported that school children in North Korea were taught that Kim Jong Il did not ever use the bathroom. So today, most school children in North Korea assumed that their fearless leader exploded.” – Conan O’Brien

“When Rick Perry was told about Kim Jong Il, he said, ‘I never heard of him, but then again, I don’t listen to that rap.'” – Jay Leno

“During the debate the other night, Rick Perry compared himself to Tim Tebow. You know what Rick and Tebow have in common? Both their seasons will end before February.” – Jay Leno

“Newt Gingrich is demanding that judges be arrested. I thought, ‘Whoa, that’s what two divorces will do for you.” – David Letterman

“Donald Trump said he was going to run for president and then he didn’t run. But now he may be serious because I understand he has demanded to see his own birth certificate.” – David Letterman

“The White House already had its annual Hanukkah reception. Yeah, first Obama lit a menorah. Then Biden made a wish and blew it out.” – Jimmy Fallon

“I was at the airport and it is so cold out there that to keep warm, the TSA agents were actually putting their hands in their own pants.” – David Letterman

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Winning


© Eric Perlin

I expect that at some point the Republicans will launch a disinformation campaign to convince everyone that Obama is going to easily win reelection. That will both keep potential Obama voters away from the polls, and will energize their base.

Count on it.

By the way, the above comic was created using the awesome Funny Times Cartoon Playground, where anyone with a funny idea can create a cartoon, even if you have no artistic talent. If you create a good ironic one, send it to me and I might just post it.

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Failed System

Talk about Christmas presents from the Republican Party! And it just keeps getting better and better.

Early this morning, the Virginia Republican Party announced that only two candidates had fulfilled the requirements to be on the primary ballot in Virginia. Those two candidates are Mitt Romney and Ron Paul. That’s right, Newt Gingrich didn’t make it on the ballot, nor did Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, or Jon Huntsman.

The requirements to be on the ballot aren’t that stringent. All you have to do is collect 10,000 signatures (including 400 from each of Virginia’s 11 congressional districts). If you are seriously running for president, that should be a cake-walk. That’s less than 1000 valid signatures in each congressional district from people who only have to like you enough to allow you on the ballot (they don’t have to actually, you know, vote for you). If you can’t do that, what hope do you have of winning the actual election?

But what was hilarious was the response from Gingrich, who immediately went on offense:

Only a failed system excludes four out of the six major candidates seeking access to the ballot. Voters deserve the right to vote for any top contender, especially leading candidates. We will work with the Republican Party of Virginia to pursue an aggressive write-in campaign to make sure that all the voters of Virginia are able to vote for the candidate of their choice.

First of all, the “failed system” he is attacking is his own party, since it was the Virginia GOP that counted his signatures and found they didn’t add up.

Second, just a few days ago, Gingrich declared confidently that he would be on the Virginia primary ballot, saying that he had enough signatures. Apparently, that was just a fantasy.

Third, Gingrich apparently doesn’t know the law in Virginia very well — write-in candidates are not allowed or counted in primary elections. As a law professor at the University of Richmond put it, Gingrich just “looks foolish and disorganized”. Not to mention too lazy to actually collect 10,000 signatures to be on the ballot.

Gingrich’s response has even more interesting implications. He uses vague phrases like “major candidates”, “top contender”, and “leading candidates”, which begs the question — who decides who qualifies as a major candidate worthy of being on the ballot? To me, Gingrich’s implied argument here is that the “leading candidates” are no longer decided by people (signing petitions), or even by the Republican party (a failed system), but by the media (and the debates, which are arranged by the media). And for the Republican Party, the “media” is mainly Fox News. Why don’t we just get rid of all this nonsense and let Rupert Murdock anoint the Republican candidate? That would save a lot of time and money.

I get the feeling that many of the candidates for the Republican primary are not actually all that serious about running for president. They (rightly) view the primary election as a fantastic opportunity to get attention, publicity, and even money. That would explain why they don’t bother much with little things like getting on the ballot. I mean, only two of them managed to get on the ballot of a major state (and for Gingrich, Virginia is his adopted home state!)

Finally, I have one last question about Gingrich’s response. He said that “four out of the six major candidates” were excluded. But I count five (Gingrich, Perry, Bachmann, Santorum, and Huntsman). Who was he excluding? In this one case it can’t be Ron Paul, since Paul got on the ballot. Maybe it was a Freudian slip, and Gingrich knows he doesn’t actually deserve to be on the ballot.

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All I Want For Christmas is a Republican Debate


© Lee Judge

It is the gift that keeps on giving. Even after the primary is over, when the presidential election rolls around it will be fun watching the anointed GOP candidate walk back every crazy thing he or she said in order to secure the nomination from the party base.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Last night Rick Perry compared himself to Tim Tebow. The difference? Tim Tebow actually has a prayer.” – Jay Leno

“A movie called ‘The Artist’ got six nominations. It’s a silent movie where people’s mouths move but nothing comes out. It’s like Rick Perry at a debate.” – Craig Ferguson

“USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA evidence clearing more people and the fact that Rick Perry has been on the road campaigning. ” – Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney said Newt Gingrich was too ‘zany’ to be president. Newt Gingrich responded by tossing confetti in the air, squeezing a car horn, and then spraying seltzer at Mitt Romney.” – Craig Ferguson

“I don’t have time to say Mitt and Romney, so I just call him ‘Mittney.'” – Craig Ferguson

“The candidates all have their position on the Federal Reserve. Ron Paul is anti-Fed. Mitt Romney is pro-Fed. And Newt Gingrich is over-Fed.” – Jay Leno

“Gary Busey has just withdrawn his endorsement of Newt Gingrich. That’s when you know your campaign’s in trouble. ” – Jay Leno

“President Obama now says he didn’t know how bad the economy was when he took office. And if it doesn’t improve soon, that’s what the next president is going to be saying.” – Jay Leno

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Fox News Whines about the War on Christmas

Ironically, Rachel Maddow is shocked about Obama’s Christmas Card. But that’s ok, Fox News and Sarah Palin are on the job pointing out this latest blatant attack on Christmas. How dare Obama!?

Personally, I can’t decide if this is merely shoddy reporting on the part of Fox News, or if they are going to attack Obama for pretty much every last trivial thing he does. When will their viewers get tired of this crap?

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Late Night Political Humor

“A new poll shows that, for the very first time, voters that view President Obama unfavorably outnumber those who view him favorably. In fact, if he gets any more unpopular, legally, he might have to run as a Republican.” – Jay Leno

“Ron Paul, of all people, is surging in the polls. When Mitt said, ‘My gloves are coming off,’ Ron Paul said, ‘OK, my teeth are coming out.’ And doctors have confirmed that Ron Paul is incapable of a sex scandal.” – David Letterman

“On the campaign trail, Ron Paul said he does not like his milk homogenized. After this, Rick Perry said, ‘I am also not a fan of gay milk.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney has called Newt Gingrich ‘zany.’ If they are taking a good look at Newt, honestly, one word comes to mind and it’s ‘zany’?” – David Letterman

“Now I wouldn’t be surprised if Romney hit Newt in the head with a rubber chicken.” – David Letterman

“Newt Gingrich signed a ‘no adultery’ pledge. Out of habit he signed it John Smith.” – Jay Leno

“In Sioux City, Iowa, there was another debate between the seven Republicans running for president. All your favorites were there: Grumpy, Dopey, the other Dopey, Romney, Bashful, another Dopey, and Happy.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“This was the 427th of 2,000 debates to be held between now and when President Obama is re-elected. There are so many debates. For a group of people who don’t want the government interfering in our lives a lot, they interfere in our lives a lot.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“According to a new CBS poll, 33 percent of Americans say they won’t have enough money to cover their holiday spending. I believe these people are called Congress.” – Jay Leno

“If there is a shutdown, 800,000 nonessential federal employees will be suspended. You know, maybe that’s our budget problem right there. We have 800,000 nonessential federal employees.” – Jay Leno

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Know Your Rights, What’s Left of Them


© Ruben Bolling

With passage of the NDAA, Americans can now be detained indefinitely, without trial or even charges. Welcome to perpetual war.

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Fine Print


© Clay Bennett

On Wednesday, Representative Stenny Hoyer (D-MD) tried to call a vote in the House to extend the payroll tax cut to middle class and working Americans. But the Republicans would have nothing of that. They ignored Hoyer’s motion, and instead adjourned the House (just moments after it went into session) and then walked out.

Hoyer started to berate them for failing to help working Americans, but suddenly his audio was cut, and then C-SPAN lost their picture too. It turns out that House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) had ordered the House cameras shut down, while a member of the House was speaking.

According to The Guardian, Boehner’s obstructionist tactics may backfire. Some people think Boehner may not even survive as Speaker.

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Jump


© Kevin Siers

Yes, Sarah Palin really did say that, when asked if there was any chance that she was reconsidering reentering the presidential race.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Gary Busey said it’s not that he doesn’t like Newt Gingrich, but it was too soon for him to endorse anyone. He said as soon as a president is elected, he will let us know who he intends to vote for.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“A campaign staffer on the Newt Gingrich campaign was fired because he was making negative comments about Mormons. I thought, ‘Wait a minute, isn’t Newt in favor of multiple wives?'” – David Letterman

“Mitt Romney has received criticism for using the campaign slogan “Keep America American” because that slogan was once used by the KKK. Now he is overcompensating because his new slogan is ‘Mitt Romney, Straight Out of Compton.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Some people say that Mitt Romney isn’t the most consistent candidate, because he’s changed his mind about big, important issues over the years. You know, that’s one of the things that I like about him, because he’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Christine O’Donnell, who used to be a witch, endorsed Mitt Romney, and she said, “He’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” Can’t argue with that.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Men are now going to their barber and asking for a Mitt. Then they go to the girl on the corner and ask for a Herman Cain.” – Jay Leno

“Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he’s running against President Obama or Joe Biden.” – Jay Leno

“Ron Paul is in favor of letting states legalize marijuana, prostitution, and cocaine. So even if he doesn’t win, that’s going to be one heck of an election night party.” – Jay Leno

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Gingrich Tells Gay to Support Obama

Scott Arnold, an adjunct professor of writing at William Penn University in Iowa, wanted to know how Newt Gingrich would represent him as president, so he went to one of Gingrich’s campaign events at the Smokey Row coffee house in Oskaloosa. Arnold says he had an open mind, but Gingrich’s response surprised him.

Gingrich told him to support Obama, that he didn’t want his support.

Gingrich recently said in Iowa “I believe that marriage is between a man and woman. It has been for all of recorded history and I think this is a temporary aberration that will dissipate. I think that it is just fundamentally goes against everything we know.” In a letter to The Family Leader this month he said he supported a constitutional amendment that would deny marriage rights to same-sex couples.

After three marriages and admitting adultery, you would think that Gingrich would just shut up about marriage. You know, “let he who is without sin” and all that.

Ironically, Gingrich has a half sister who is a married lesbian and a LGBT rights activist.

UPDATE: Meanwhile, the military seems to be adjusting just fine to the repeal of don’t-ask-don’t-tell. I wish I could say the same thing about the Republican party.

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All He Wants for Christmas…


© derf

Please Santa, make it so!

UPDATE: Matt Damon slams Obama, says “One Term President With Some Balls Would Have Been Better”.

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Naughty or Nice?


© Mike Stanfill

Can you be both naughty and nice?

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