Skip to content

The New GOP Budget Explained

Paul Ryan explains how his new budget will work for America, returning our country to what it was under the founding fathers:

“Under this plan, if you lose your job and have your house foreclosed, the government isn’t going to bail you out any more.” Instead, any American who can no longer compete in the nation’s economy will become the property of a millionaire. “This budget will create tens of millions of new jobs at no cost to the government, millions of new unpaid factory workers, field hands and fast food servers. This country did pretty well when the Founding Fathers, in their infinite wisdom, owned slaves. Ending that system has proved to be a colossal mistake,” the Wisconsin Republican continued. “This budget lays out a blueprint for returning this country to the greatness the signers of the Declaration of Independence envisioned.”

Wall Street closed sharply higher on expectations of strong demand for domestically produced leg irons, whips and stockades, and in anticipation of a rebounding housing market, with tens of millions of new housing units for slaves being built if the Ryan budget is enacted.

Share

Is Romney the Perfect Candidate for the Republicans?


© Joe Heller

It is ironic that Republicans don’t like Mitt Romney for changing his positions, when they do the same thing about candidates trying to find “Anyone but Mitt”.

I’m often confused about the whole “flip-flopping” deal. Voters want candidates who respect their wishes. When Romney was running in a pro-choice state, he was pro-choice. But when running in the Republican primary, he is pro-life. Isn’t that respecting the wishes of the voters?

We had a president who stuck to his guns and stayed the course, no matter what. He was George W Bush. How did that work out?

Reality is nuanced. Politics seems not to be.

Share

Late Night Political Humor

“Rick Santorum wants to crack down on pornography. Most political analysts say it could hurt him with the ‘every single man in America’ vote.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Santorum said when he’s in the White House he’ll tell his attorney general to prosecute people who distribute any content that is deemed obscene. Will he appoint a team to watch porn all day? If so, he could solve the unemployment crisis.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“A photo of a shirtless Rick Santorum lounging in a pool is circulating on the Internet. Ironically, the photo has proven to be a very effective form of birth control.” – Conan O’Brien

“Here’s how nice it was here on the Eastern Seaboard. It was such a beautiful day today that Mitt Romney was riding on the roof of his car.” – David Letterman

“Mitt Romney is so rich, he taught his dog to roll over … an IRA.” – Jay Leno

“Donald Trump’s sons shot and killed endangered animals on a safari. They got an elephant, a crocodile, and that thing on their dad’s head.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Over the weekend, a group of Occupy Wall Street protesters tried to reoccupy a New York park. You can tell the movement has been hurting for funds. This time they called themselves ‘Occupy Wall Street brought to you by Sony Pictures ‘21 Jump Street’.” – Conan O’Brien

Share

Revenge of the Tea Party


© Drew Sheneman

After the last disastrous budget fight, you might hope that things would get better. But this time, Paul Ryan’s budget proposal has everyone — left and right — pissed off. The new budget still includes “sweeping cuts to federal health care programs and social programs aimed at the poor” but now the Tea Party caucus is also voting against his budget because it doesn’t go far enough. I guess there is no room for the real solution, which is rolling back Bush’s disastrous tax cuts for the rich, which is what got us into this mess in the first place.


© Ed Stein

Share

Context is Everything

When the Wall Street Journal was bought by Murdock’s News Corp, people were worried that it would be turned into another Faux News. Well, you don’t have to worry any longer, it has been. With the publishing of the recent editorial by Karl “Bush’s brain” Rove, the WSJ has become just another arm of the Murdock propaganda machine.

The editorial is a blatant attempt to rewrite the history of the Obama presidency. For example, Rove says:

As for the killing of Osama bin Laden, Mr. Obama did what virtually any commander in chief would have done in the same situation. Even President Bill Clinton says in the film “that’s the call I would have made.” For this to be portrayed as the epic achievement of the first term tells you how bare the White House cupboards are.

There’s just one problem. While Clinton did indeed say the words quoted by Rove, here’s what Clinton really said:

He took the harder and the more honorable path. When I saw what had happened, I thought to myself, “I hope that’s the call I would have made.”

In other words, the complete opposite of what Rove claims Clinton meant.

Now it gets interesting. When the Washington Post objected to Rove’s obvious bad quote, WSJ edited Rove’s piece to read as follows:

As for the killing of Osama bin Laden, Mr. Obama did what virtually any commander in chief would have done in the same situation. Even President Bill Clinton says in the film “I hope that’s the call I would have made.” For this to be portrayed as the epic achievement of the first term tells you how bare the White House cupboards are.

And at the end of the article they placed a disclaimer “An earlier version of this column included an incomplete quote from Bill Clinton in the last paragraph.” Now that the WSJ is fully aware of the bad quote, they do a half-assed job of fixing it. It is still misleading, since Clinton was obviously praising Obama, while Rove is claiming that Clinton said it was no big deal. And worse, the paragraph now doesn’t make any sense. Does the WSJ really think their readers are that stupid?

But the best part is an article in Forbes, which does the same thing to Rove that Rove did to Obama and Clinton, with the headline “Karl Rove Endorses Obama in WSJ Op-Ed”. They quote Rove as saying:

Mr. Obama deserves re-election for restoring America to prosperity after a recession.

and

Mr. Obama ended the Iraq War and… Osama bin Laden was killed on his watch.

Of course, what Rove really said was this:

Viewers are told Mr. Obama deserves re-election for restoring America to prosperity after a recession “as deep as anything . . . since the Great Depression.” He accomplished this in part, so the film says, by bailing out the auto companies—deciding not to just “give the car companies” or “the UAW the money” but to force them to “work together” and “modernize the automobile industry.” The president, we’re told, also confronted “one of the most worrisome problems facing America . . . the cost of health care.”

Abroad, Mr. Obama ended the Iraq war and, in the “ultimate test of leadership,” Osama bin Laden was killed on his watch.

See how that works?

But why stop there? The article points out that Rove has been endorsing Obama for a while now, supporting this with some really great out-of-context quotes:

Rove praised Obama’s work ethic, saying “He is working a lot harder than he thought he would.”

Mr. Obama set up a Consumer Financial Protection Bureau in 2010 to make sure people are treated fairly.

[H]is Republican opposition puts party ahead of country.

I’ll let you read the Forbes article to see what Rove really said. Shame on the WSJ for publishing tripe like this.

Share

Don’t Re-Nig Bumper Sticker

I had the same reaction when I first heard about this (after all, I am a grammar Nazi), but Deon Cole says it so much better than I could.

Share

Circle the Jerks

Last week, over fifty newspapers pulled the Doonesbury comic strips because they dealt with the increasing number of new laws that require women to get an unnecessary sonogram to show them an image of their fetus before they can get an abortion.

This week, Jen Sorensen did a comic about the newspapers pulling Doonesbury, and for the first time in over a decade, a newspaper decided to pull her strip. As Sorensen put it, “The layers of irony here are impressive.”


© Jen Sorensen

Share

The Long Game?

To give you an idea of how dismal politics is today, the two top political stories are a) that Santorum’s plan is to deliberately sabotage Romney to make him lose to Obama, so that Santorum can become the candidate in 2016, and b) that nobody, not even the media, cares about the primaries any more.

There is a keen awareness in the party, particularly among fund raisers and elected officials, that Santorum is playing to hurt Romney so that Romney loses. Santorum sees himself as the nominee in 2016, and he’s playing a 2016 game. You wouldn’t continue to rip at Romney and tear at Romney and try to damage Romney if you were playing the normal, second-place game. The normal second-place approach is to rally around the nominee and become part of the leadership of the party. If Republicans lose, just by nature of the party, you are the leading contender the next time.

At the cable news networks, including CNN, the only one to provide continuous primary coverage on Tuesday, the word is out that the presidential campaign is sending the ratings south. Television, in short, has pretty much decided the race is over, Mitt Romney has won, the thing is boring everyone to death, and it’s time, at least for now, to move on. The campaign is occupying less front-page real estate in the major papers as well.

Share

Late Night Political Humor

“March Madnesss… the only place where you hear ‘Kansas is advancing.’” – Bill Maher

“You know who hates March Madness? Rick Santorum. It combines the two things he hates most, college and putting something in a hole.” – Bill Maher

“First Santorum is against the gays, then contraception, now porn. This guy is more backed up than the 405.” – Bill Maher

“He wears a sweater vest everywhere, which is proof that he does not have one gay friend… This guy thinks about gay sex more than any gay man in America. There’s a guy down in West Hollywood working at Dorothy’s and Dildos who does not think about gay sex as much as Rick Santorum.” – Bill Maher

“Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled twelve-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.” – Bill Maher

“Today is St. Patrick’s Day Eve, the traditional day where Irish Americans drink all the booze they bought for tomorrow night’s party and the day when Rick Santorum paints his blue balls green.” – Bill Maher

“Mitt Romney is determined to win the Southerners back for the general election. His slogan down there is now ‘Romney: Oh right, like you’re gonna vote for the black guy.’” – Bill Maher

“You know what’s kind of ironic? This will be the fourth St. Patrick’s Day of Obama’s presidency. He still hasn’t created a green job. What happened to those?” – Jay Leno

“Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich made his final public appearance yesterday, before beginning his 14-year prison term. No word on who his cell mate is yet. It’s probably a good chance it’s another former Illinois governor.” – Jay Leno

Share

The Drums of War, Nine Years Later

March 19th was the nine year anniversary of the invasion of Iraq. If you are one of those people who feels disappointed in Obama because of some vague feeling that he hasn’t changed things enough, I just want to remind you of how much at least one thing has changed from just nine years ago:

“Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof — the smoking gun that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud.” — George W. Bush (10/7/02)

My colleagues, every statement I make today is backed up by sources, solid sources. These are not assertions. What we’re giving you are facts and conclusions based on solid intelligence.” — Colin Powell, United Nations Speech (2/5/03)

“My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.” — Dick Cheney (3/16/03)

“The area in the south and the west and the north that coalition forces control is substantial. It happens not to be the area where weapons of mass destruction were dispersed. We know where they are. They’re in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat.” — Donald Rumsfeld (3/30/03)

Who said war never solved anything? — Brendan Miniter, Assistant Editor, Wall St. Journal (4/8/03)

“Each morning, we sat reading our copy of The New York Times, The Washington Post or the Los Angeles Times and ruminated on their prophecies of doom and quagmire. Then we looked up to see, on television, correspondents actually embedded with our troops reporting quick advances, one-sided firefights, melting opposition and, finally, welcoming crowds.” — Dick Morris (4/15/03)

“The only people who think this wasn’t a victory are Upper Westside liberals.” — Charles Krauthammer (4/19/03)

TED KOPPEL: You’re not suggesting that the rebuilding of Iraq is going to be done for $1.7 billion?
ANDREW NATSIOS (Agency for International Development): Well, in terms of the American taxpayer’s contribution, I do. This is it for the US.
— Nightline (4/23/03)

“[Liberals] can’t deny that President Bush has won his two wars, and won them resoundingly.” — Paul Mirengoff, Powerline (4/26/03)

Share

Late Night Political Humor

“This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty – unless she’s on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.” – Stephen Colbert

“The Army is pulling out of Rush. Meanwhile, they’re staying in Afghanistan to negotiate with the Taliban, who evidently have a better track record on women’s issues.” – Stephen Colbert (on the U.S. Army pulling ads from Rush Limbaugh’s radio show)

“If you want to avoid getting pregnant there is only one surefire way: be a man.” – Stephen Colbert

“Yesterday Rick Santorum greeted the locals by telling them if Puerto Rico wants to become a state, they need to start speaking English. Only Rick Santorum would go to someone’s native land and tell them they’re speaking the wrong language.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Rick Santorum is resonating with voters because of his authenticity. He always speaks off the cuff, which is why his sweaters don’t have sleeves.” – Stephen Colbert

“Rick Santorum says if elected president, he’ll crack down on Internet porn. You thought he was alienating female voters with that birth control thing? Oh, guys are gonna be leaving in droves.” – Jay Leno

“More and more Republicans are calling on Newt Gingrich to drop out of the campaign. Well, I don’t want to say things look bad for Newt, but his ex-wives now are starting to outnumber his supporters.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama said he’s set up a task force to look into high gas prices. He’d look into it himself, but he’s busy working on those NCAA tournament brackets.” – Jay Leno

Share

Market Manipulation?


© Kevin Kallaugher

I know it sounds like a conspiracy theory, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if someone is manipulating gas prices in order to hurt Obama.

UPDATE: Meanwhile, the public is not sure whom to blame for high gas prices. I know who is to blame for that — the media for failing to talk about speculation, the same problem that caused the housing bubble. Don’t we ever learn?

Share

Cutting off our nose to spite our face

Here’s a story you probably haven’t heard about. The US cuts off all funding for UNESCO even though they are doing work that benefits us. I love the multiple levels of irony.

What is it about the Arab-Israeli conflict that has us so blinded?

UPDATE: The Atlantic has an interesting article about the Daily show that uses this very segment to make a point, under the headline “‘The Daily Show’s’ Advantage Over the MSM: An Eye for the Absurd. Its recent foray into long-form, satire infused reportage on UNESCO’s defunding holds subtle lessons for the press.”

Share

Will The Real Mitt Romney Please Stand Up

Mitt Romney as Eminem:

UPDATE: Here’s a new meme, started by one of Romney’s staffers, that Romney is an “Etch a Sketch”. You shake him up and restart all over.


© Adam Zyglis

Share

Late Night Political Humor

“How about those Republican presidential candidates. Newt Gingrich is behind in delegates. But he’s leading in chins.” – David Letterman

“Newt Gingrich has promised to cut the price of gas to $2.50 a gallon… it’s not catching on with the voters. See, here’s my question: what kind of candidate are you if people are willing to pay higher gas prices just to keep you out of office? ‘We’ll go with the six bucks, it’s fine. We’ve got it covered.’” – Jay Leno

“So Newt Gingrich is looking for a vice presidential running mate. Being Newt’s VP is like being a Kardashian husband. It’s going to be over quickly.” – David Letterman

“Congratulations to Rick Santorum on winning the Mississippi and Alabama primaries. Newt Gingrich finished second, Mitt Romney finished third, and Ron Paul is still finishing his cornflakes.” – Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum has been on a roll lately. CNN came up with a clever word for this — Santorumentum. Are they serious? It sounds like something you put under your nose or the name of a drug.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Bothered by irregularity? Constipation? Santorumentum — the twice-a-day medication, not covered by Obamacare. Consult Jesus before taking any medication.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Rick Santorum won Alabama and Mississippi, and Mitt Romney won Hawaii and American Samoa. Here’s a little mnemonic device to help you remember. Places you can get to in a Winnebago, go to Santorum. Places that require a jet or a yacht, go to Romney. Romney, of course, always does well with islands, that’s where his money lives.” – Jon Stewart

“Mitt Romney has been outspending his opponents by a huge margin and he’s still losing. Fortunately, being a hedge fund manager, he bet against himself and made another fortune. It all worked out.” – Jay Leno

“A new CBS poll found that 80% of Americans say they’re not better off than they were four years ago. The other 20% own gas stations.” – Jay Leno

“It’s not a good week for President Obama either. His approval rating has dropped 9% in the last month to an all-time low of 41%. It was 57% last May. In fact, if this keeps up, the White House says they may have to fish out Bin Laden and shoot him all over again.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama announced his final four: Kentucky, Ohio, Missouri, and North Carolina. Mitt Romney announced his final four: Goldman Sachs, Wells Fargo, Exxon, and the Cayman Islands.” – Jay Leno

“March Madness goes from 64 teams to 32 to 16 to 8 to 4 to 2 and then 1. It’s how Rush Limbaugh loses sponsors.” – David Letterman

Share