I think one of the problems of the conservative echo chamber is that encourages people like Michelle Malkin to get even more strident and crazy, because their primary audience eats it up, as long as they are saying negative things about Obama. Even if they make no sense at all.
My big question is, now that the Republican primary is over and Americans in general start to tune into the election, whether the public will be able to see how insane modern “conservatives” have become.
[By misteragc, reprinted from Daily Kos. I’ve been waiting for Romney to clinch the GOP nomination before posting this.]
The Romney campaign today announced a surprise pick for Vice President – Exxon Mobil Corporation. “This is a game changing decision, that will really energize the true Republican base: Koch Industries, Haliburton, Walmart, Bechtel, Fox and Shell BP,” said a Romney spokesman. “It’s also a breakthrough for minority rights, as it’s the first time a Corporate American had appeared on the ballot. With subsidiaries in fifty eight countries and puppet regimes in six, Exxon Mobil brings to the ticket foreign policy experience focused on the only countries that matter – the ones with oil.”
When questioned by reporters about the vetting process, the spokesman said that it had been completed in a record forty eight hours by Exxon Mobil staff. Asked about the possible conflict of interest, the spokesman revealed that Exxon had been vetted by the same Exxon public servants who wrote the Cheney administration’s energy policy, so they were ideally qualified for vetting a Vice Presidential candidate.
Exxon Mobil is expected to self finance the campaign. “We would have paid for it anyway,” said their CEO, “But now we get a place on the ticket, too. I know there are some racists out there who don’t think that Corporate Americans are real Americans, or even real people, but this election will prove them wrong.”
A spokesman for the Obama campaign said they were not commenting on the constitutionality of this announcement until they had seen Exxon Mobil’s birth certificate.
Donald Trump complains that the media is not covering the “birther” question, then when they ask him about it, he changes the subject:
I almost didn’t post this, because Trump is becoming the new Palin. He doesn’t add anything to the conversation, he just wants attention. But I posted it anyway, since after all, Romney held a campaign event with him. Yeah, that’s it, it is all Romney’s fault.
I’m more and more impressed by Eclectablog, whose plain-speaking posts are like a breath of fresh air during this election season.
A good example is the recent post there by LOLGOP “The GOP is Threatening Your Job“, which is about Republican efforts to sabotage the economy. The GOP figured out that if the economy is bad, it makes it more likely for the party out of power to win elections. If the economy is doing just fine for big corporations and the top 1% (their donors), and the economic hit is being taken by the poor and middle class, even better!
How are Republicans sabotaging the economy? Let’s look at one particularly obvious example:
last summer, the House GOP did something unprecedented in American history. During a jobs crisis they helped create and did nothing to end, the GOP decided that they would not approve an increase in the debt limit without trillions in deficit cuts. They added to the insanity by saying that they would not approve one dollar in tax increases, even on the richest Americans.
The last time the Republicans took the country to the edge of default was during the Clinton administration, and it cost them control of Congress (forcing Newt Gingrich to resign in disgrace).
But they did it again in 2010. As a result, our credit rating was downgraded and the recovery stalled. At the last minute the GOP blinked, making a complex debt deal (which not surprisingly they now refuse to honor).
Incredibly, they are now doing it a third time! On May 15, House Speaker John Boehner announced that he would (again) force a government default. That statement alone cost many Americans their jobs.
The real question is how do they get away with it? Why haven’t we thrown them out like we did the first time? The answer:
the GOP has enough message discipline and sympathetic media to help them avoid the blame.
I love the phrase “message discipline”. I guess it means when a group lies in unison and repeats them often enough that people start to believe them. That, plus millions of dollars spent on misleading television ads by Karl Rove and the Koch brothers.
So what the Republicans learned from their failure during the Clinton administration was that they needed Faux News, Citizen’s United, the Tea Party, and more message discipline. Unfortunately, it seems to be working.
The Republicans have even managed to convince many Americans that the Stimulus didn’t work, when there is plenty of evidence that it was the most successful economic revival since World War II.
The most damming evidence that the GOP is sabotaging the economy is that — other than opposing everything Obama and the Democrats try to do to improve the economy — what are their own proposals for fixing the economy? Even more tax cuts for the wealthy (on top of Bush’s tax cuts, which should be left to expire), and huge increases in military spending. That’s right, they are doubling down on the exact same economic policies that got us into the worst economic mess since the Great Depression.
“It’s been a rough week for Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg has lost so much money in the market that President Obama is going to have him replace Ben Bernanke.” – Jay Leno
“This Facebook fiasco is one of the biggest clusterfucks ever on Wall Street. Regular people got screwed and the banks and the insiders did okay. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, ‘The American Dream.'” – Bill Maher
“Pollsters found out that when you ask people on a cell phone who they’re supporting, overwhelmingly it’s Obama. When you ask on a landline, Romney. By the way, Romney also has the support among voters who refer to the coffee pot as the percolator, and the clicker to change the channel.” – Bill Maher
“Mitt Romney was attacking Obama about our failing education system. He has a point. We are graduating millions of people in this country who are so lacking in basic analytical skills, they are considering voting for Mitt Romney.” – Bill Maher
“As George Bush once said, ‘Our kids is not learning.'” – Bill Maher
“Between the obesity and the low test scores, you’ve got to ask yourselves the question, ‘How fat and dumb do our kids have to get before our teachers stop having sex with them?” – Bill Maher
“Speaking of fat and dumb, Donald Trump is in the news. He’s gone full-on re-Birther. He said Obama was born in Kenya, and he’s having a fundraiser in Las Vegas for Mitt Romney – the first time a major presidential candidate is going be on the stage with a real out-and-out Birther. And this could hurt Romney, not just because he’s on the stage with Donald Trump. Because it proves that in America, you can make money in business and still be a total fucking idiot.” – Bill Maher
“A new study shows current members of Congress speak at a 10th grade level. When reached for comment, Congressman Eric Cantor said, ‘Nuh-uh!'” – Conan O’Brien
“Mitt Romney is trying to get the Latino vote … He maintains he’s always had a great relationship with the Latinos in his life, as long as they don’t wake him up with the leaf blower.” – Bill Maher
“A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead … Mitt Romney had to respond to this and said, ‘It is appalling that Obama spent his teenage years goofing around and smoking pot when he should have been pinning down gay kids and cutting their hair.” – Bill Maher
“Mitt Romney has begun vetting his vice presidential candidates. This is a tough thing because they want to appeal to the Republican base. They want a strong conservative there, but someone who will not upstage Mitt Romney. So the search is on for a strong conservative in a coma.” – Bill Maher
“And they say they’re not going to make the same mistake as they did last time. They’re going to do a much more thorough job vetting than McCain did with you-know-who. They said this time they’re going to ask probing questions like, ‘Can you read? And ‘How many fingers am I holding up?'” – Bill Maher
“Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don’t know how many wives he has. I’m not saying that I believe in that, I’m just saying he was born on a Mormon compound. I’m not a ‘Wifer’ but for some reason he’s never shown his original marriage certificate.” –Bill Maher (countering “Birthers” by creating a Romney ‘Wifer’ controversy)
“Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full of wives?” – Bill Maher
“Former President Bill Clinton posed for pictures with his arms around two women, both of whom turned out to be famous porn stars. See, this is why we miss Clinton. He was like a president and a Secret Service agent all rolled into one.” – Jay Leno
“The Center for Responsive Politics reports that President Obama has become the first politician in history to raise $1 billion in his political career. Imagine how much more he could have raised if people hadn’t lost it all in his economic plan?” – Jay Leno
“A Pakistani doctor who helped the CIA hunt for Osama bin Laden has been convicted of high treason in Pakistan. He was sentenced to 33 years in prison for helping us. Think how much worse the sentence would have been if Pakistan wasn’t our ally.” – Jay Leno
“New research shows that eating organic foods can make people more arrogant and judgmental. In fact, eating just one handful of organic bean sprouts has the same effect as driving 1,000 miles in a Prius.” – Jay Leno
Last night, the Romney campaign released an iPhone app called “With Mitt” that allows you to take a photo, add one of 14 pro-Romney banners to the photo, and upload the resulting masterpiece to Facebook or Twitter.
But they couldn’t have found a better way for the app to go viral than if they had tried. One of the banners was this one:
The innertubes went wild! By Wednesday morning, the tag #amercia was a trending topic on Twitter, with messages like:
Some poor app designer is getting strapped in a cage on the top of a car and driven across country tonight. #amercia
Photos were created with the misspelled banner next to various dictionaries, and even on top of a photos of Tea Party protestors with sign saying things like “Make ENGLISH the official language of America!”
You can visit this Tumblr account, with lots of similar photos.
Luckily for Romney, the Apple App Store pushed version 1.0.1 of the app for them faster than they normally would, and the app has now been fixed. Which brings us to my favorite image:
My big question is, without the spelling mistake why would anyone want such an app?
UPDATE: Another good typo direct from Mitt Romney’s campaign site:
As president, Mitt will work to expand and enhance access and opportunities for Americans to hunt, shoot, and protect their families, homes and property, and he will fight the battle on all fronts to protect and promote the Second Amendment.
I realize the Romney campaign is expert at shooting themselves in the foot, but this is ridiculous! Expect it to get updated any minute now.
UPDATE 2: Comedy Central lists “Ten Great Moments in Political Misspellings“.
Cops in Texas want to equip their unmanned aerial drone with weapons — so far rubber bullets and tear gas, but who knows in the future.
Yes, these are the very same cops who crashed their first drone into their SWAT team’s tank-like armored vehicle. You can’t make stuff like this up.
You’ve heard of birthers. Is turnabout fair play?
How many wives does Mitt Romney actually have? Inquiring minds want to know.
p.s. even if you don’t like Bill Mahar, this is brilliant.
Once upon a time, the media thought of itself as a watchdog. Now they just work for the banks, like everyone else. Adam Savage of Mythbusters, with a myth he wasn’t allowed to bust:
Actually, such a billboard would never happen, because Romney is desperately trying to distance himself from his former policies that bear any resemblance at all to Obama’s current policies (health care reform, abortion, etc.).
“There has been another new development in the Secret Service prostitution scandal… [Some agents] say this kind of thing is so common that internally they refer to it as the Secret Circus. Which explains why they were trying to pay the hookers peanuts.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Four Secret Service agents fired for that sex scandal decided to fight their dismissal. The lawyer said they didn’t realize the women were prostitutes. Is that the best argument when you’re trying to get your job back in the Secret Service? These guys are supposed to be experts at picking people out of a crowd. Can’t spot a hooker? Really?” – Jay Leno
“Today, members of the Secret Service told the Senate that there’s an unwritten rule amongst agents that what happens on the road stays on the road. Not to be confused with that written rule – that they shouldn’t have sex with prostitutes.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Over the past few months there’s been an increasing buzz that Mitt Romney will pick a vice president who’s safe, white, and duller than him. Which pretty much narrows it down to a piece of chalk.” – Jay Leno
“Here’s an election update. Today Mitt Romney met with a group of wealthy Latino business owners. Or as Romney calls them, ‘the Juan percent.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Next month a new biography is going to come out about the life of 300-pound New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. The biography is called ‘Are you going to finish that?'” – Conan O’Brien
“Police in South Dakota arrested a 53-year-old man formerly from Chicago who’s trying to climb Mount Rushmore. The guy is in his 50s, from Chicago, and he’s desperate to get on Mount Rushmore. Oh my God, it’s Obama!” – Jay Leno
“Just two weeks after a felon in jail got 41 percent of the democratic vote in West Virginia, President Obama got embarrassed again in Arkansas yesterday when an unknown lawyer got 42 percent. See, that proves once and for all that there’s only a 1 percent difference between a lawyer and a convicted felon.” – Jay Leno
“After losing billions of dollars, Mark Zuckerberg is being sued for hiding Facebook’s weak financial report. Apparently he put it somewhere no one will ever look – MySpace.” – Jimmy Fallon
I find it ironic that the GOP stridently defended Bush and Cheney against all criticisms, yet now seem to have rewritten history so that the former occupants don’t even exist. Even more ironic, the Republicans have Romney promoting the very same policies that made them suck so bad. I guess the lesson here is that (with enough propaganda) the American people can be convinced of just about anything.
Michael Fumento, who worked for Reagan and wrote for the National Review, has published an excellent rant about the new right.
I had trouble finding a quote or two to entice you to read the article, because the whole thing is excellent. Go read it.
But if you need convincing, here’s one tidbit:
A single author, Ann Coulter, has published best-selling books accusing liberals, in the titles, of being demonic, godless and treasonous. Michelle Malkin, ranked by the Internet search company PeekYou as having the most traffic of any political blogger, routinely dismisses them as “moonbats, morons and idiots.” Limbaugh infamously dispatched a young woman who expressed her opinion that the government should provide free birth control as a “slut” and a “prostitute.”
As a conservative, I disagree with the political opinions of liberals. But to me, a verbal assault indicates insecurity and weakness on the part of the assaulter, as in “Is that the best they can do?” This playground bullying – the name-calling, the screaming, the horrible accusations – all are intended to stifle debate, the very lifeblood of a democracy.
“Facebook shares fell again today. At one point this afternoon, Mark Zuckerberg went from being a billionaire to being ‘still a billionaire.’ – Conan O’Brien
“Facebook has lost so much money that founder Mark Zuckerberg has been named an honorary board member of JPMorgan.” – Jay Leno
“Mark Zuckerberg got married a couple of days ago. At their wedding, Zuckerberg’s wife wore a dress that cost nearly $5,000. That is until the dress went public. Now it’s worth $2,000.” – Conan O’Brien
“Republicans are trying to raise money, so Mitt Romney’s checking under his couch cushions.” – David Letterman
“Mitt Romney reminds me of the guy in the commercial that buys his wife a Lexus for Christmas with the big bow on it.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Remember Al Gore, the tubby vice president? He has a new girlfriend – that is unless the Supreme Court takes her away from him.” – David Letterman
“While attending meetings in Chicago this week, President Obama stayed in a hotel instead of his own house. It was annoying, though: When he asked for a wake-up call, they just showed him his latest poll numbers.” – Jimmy Fallon
“According to a study released today, the average member of Congress can only speak at a tenth grade level. Which is worse than it sounds, because the average tenth grader speaks at a third grade level.” – Jay Leno
“Congratulations to former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. The city of San Francisco has named a street after her today. It’s called Botox Avenue.” – Jay Leno
This is what I admire about Joe Biden — his ability to speak about his own feelings and convey raw emotion in a very real way.
I remember him doing a similar thing during the hearings about torture.
UPDATE: Here’s an unedited video of Biden.
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