Political Irony

“If your party can run the nation for eight years, and then have a national convention and not invite Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Karl Rove, or Tom DeLay, you’re not a political movement. You’re the witness protection program.” – Bill Maher

“Congratulations to Mitt Romney on his purchase of the Republican presidential nomination.” – Jay Leno

“Paul Ryan made a speech the other night, even a columnist for Fox News said it set a world record for the greatest number of lies in a single speech. To which Mitt Romney said, ‘Game on’.” – Bill Maher

“Fox News’ coverage of the Republican convention got beat in their ratings by ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.’ That’s not a good comment on America. One is a view of the world as seen through the eyes of a redneck child, and the other is ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’.” – Bill Maher

“Clint Eastwood came out at the Republican convention and did ten minutes of wingnut improv. It was kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican party — a confused old person yelling at something that doesn’t’ exist.” – Bill Maher

“This is where Clint Eastwood has done a huge favor to us all. Because the Republican Party’s irrationality, that they’ve worked so hard at the convention trying to conceal, was unleashed in a 12-minute improvised avant-garde performance of One Angry Men. Eastwood finally revealed the cognitive dissonance that is the beating heart and soul and fiction of this party! He’s so far gone, they’re hammering Obama for things Bush did, and Romney is!” – Jon Stewart

“After watching Clint Eastwood last night, be honest, Sarah Palin is not looking too bad now, is she?” – Jay Leno

“Didn’t you love that part where Clint pretended that he was talking to an invisible Obama? And this Obama was not a nice guy. This Obama was telling Romney to go fuck himself. Isn’t that something? Even people who don’t exist hate Mitt Romney.” – Bill Maher

“I could never wrap my head around why the world and the President that Republicans describe, bear so little resemblance to the world and the President that I experience. And now I know why. There is a President Obama that only Republicans can see.” – Jon Stewart

“Mitt had to follow that. He’s a little stiff. He makes Al Gore look like James Brown at the Apollo. And for five minutes the crowd was chanting, ‘Bring back the chair!'” – Bill Maher

“After the whole the Eastwood debacle last night, I’ll bet the Democrats are thankful their party doesn’t’ have any cozy relationship with Hollywood celebrities like the Republicans.” – Jay Leno

“The Republican Convention decided not to show a hologram of Ronald Reagan for fear it would overshadow Mitt Romney. It’s never a good sign when your candidate is in danger of being over shadowed by something that technically doesn’t make a shadow.” – Conan O’Brien

“Last night at the convention, the scheduled appearance of three-dimensional Ronald Reagan hologram was canceled at the last minute. Of course they canceled the 3D hologram. They didn’t want to upstage Mitt Romney. He’s only one dimensional.” – Jay Leno

“Ann Romney was telling details of their personal life. She said that when she and Mitt were young, ‘He was nice to my parents, but really glad when my parents weren’t around.’ And with his Medicare plan, they won’t be.” – Bill Maher

“Ann Romney was appealing to women for the women’s vote, and she said she was living proof that if you work hard and apply yourself, there is nothing you can’t marry.” – Bill Maher

“First the good news: Louisiana, knee-deep in water, but this time, the levees held from the big hurricane. That’s good. However, Tampa, Florida this week nearly drowned in bullshit.” – Bill Maher

“How can we trust Republicans with the future, when, as far as I can tell from Tampa, the world ended the year Reagan left office? Like, in 1988, we just all fell into a deep sleep listening to ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’, and when we woke up Monday morning, Obama and his negro army had wrecked the joint.” – Bill Maher

“A young couple got engaged on the floor of the Republican Convention. Thankfully for the Republicans it was a man and a woman.” – Jay Leno

“The Democrats are getting ready for their convention in North Carolina. Or as they told Joe Biden, South Carolina.” – Jay Leno

“I always like how the politicians show how that they’re just regular guys. Like Obama says he likes to have a beer with people. And Romney said, when it comes to shopping, he chooses Costco. In fact, last week, he bought three of them.” – Jay Leno

“Tonight is the last night, the final night of the Republican convention. Tonight is the swimsuit competition.” – Conan O’Brien

“Have you folks been enjoying the Republican convention? Ann Romney was great. She said it’s all about love. Then Chris Christie followed up by saying, ‘It’s not about love, it’s about respect.’ Will you people get on the same page? Which is it? Is it love or respect?” – David Letterman

“At the convention tonight, the surprise speaker was Clint Eastwood. What’s more surprising than a grumpy old white guy at the Republican convention?” – Craig Ferguson

“Clint Eastwood was the mystery guest tonight at the Republican convention. Finally, a senior citizen who scares Paul Ryan.” – Jay Leno

“Paul Ryan stretching the truth to make his speech more effective is just another form of doping. In that if you believe him, you are a dope.” – Stephen Colbert

“It’s been reported the Republican convention decided not to show a hologram of Ronald Reagan for fear it would overshadow Mitt Romney. It’s never a good sign when your candidate is in danger of being overshadowed by something that technically doesn’t make a shadow.” – Conan O’Brien

“A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald’s. To show you how good this guy’s disguise was, instead of a holdup note he was reading from a teleprompter.” – Jay Leno

“This Obama robber made some pretty scary threats to the McDonald’s employees. He said, ‘Give me your money, or else my economic plan will have you working here for the rest of your life.'” – Jay Leno

“A former Navy SEAL has a book out that claims Osama bin Laden was unarmed when he was shot. The book is called ‘Who Cares, He’s Dead.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Are you excited about Labor Day weekend? That’s a holiday where Americans take three days off from looking for a job.” – David Letterman

© Ted Rall

Grover Norquist famously said “I’m not in favor of abolishing the government. I just want to shrink it down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub.” Will he get his wish?

“Did you all watch the Republican convention last night? It’s good to see scripted television finally making a comeback.” – Jay Leno

“The Republican National Convention is in full swing in Tampa. Speeches are being made. Hats flown in the air. Everyone gets their own hippie to slap around.” – Craig Ferguson

“Chris Christie gave the keynote address. In his speech he said the word ‘I’ 37 times, ‘Romney’ 7 times, and ‘jobs’ only once. And then there was the 622 times he said the word ‘ham’.” – Conan O’Brien

“Chris Christie was on stage for 16 minutes before he says Romney’s name. He’s on the stage for 30 seconds and he mentions Breyer’s ice cream.” – David Letterman

“Chris Christie’s message was Romney will be the guy to tells America the hard truth. Romney is that guy. And I thought, well, wait a minute, Chris, I’ve got a hard truth for you. How about hopping on the treadmill?” – David Letterman

“Ann Romney spoke last night. I thought she was quite eloquent. Analysts say her role was to show that Mitt has a tender side. And then the Romney family dog gave the rebuttal.” – Jay Leno

“I thought Mitt Romney’s wife Ann did a good job at the Republican convention. During her speech, she said after they got married, she and Mitt lived in a basement. It was a 2-room basement on the French Riviera.” – Conan O’Brien

“Working out has given Paul Ryan phenomenal abs. His abs are so in demand that TMZ is offering a bounty for anyone who can get an in-focus shot.” – Craig Ferguson

“I can’t wait to see the debate between Ryan and Joe Biden. Biden is said to be already trying out different strategies. So far the one that Obama likes is where Biden pretends to have food poisoning and they cancel the debate.” – Craig Ferguson

“You can think outside the box and pick someone who’ll excite people like Sarah Palin or you can play it safe with an honest down-home family man like John Edwards.” – Craig Ferguson

“John McCain was at the convention. He just wandered out on stage in his bathrobe.” – David Letterman

“Hurricane Isaac turned out to be not much of a threat to the Republican convention. But to their credit, the Republicans had a contingency plan. If the hurricane did hit hard, delegates were instructed to evacuate to Mitt Romney’s tax shelter.” – Jay Leno

“Here’s what’s great about America. You can now buy waffle-flavored vodka. See, good things are happening under Obama.” – David Letterman

“The White House is now brewing its own beer. Republicans say the White House beer is actually pretty good. Just don’t drink the Kool-Aid.” – Jay Leno

“Yesterday a medical marijuana group officially endorsed President Obama for president. Doesn’t really help Obama though, because they were just getting around to endorsing him for 2008.” – Conan O’Brien

“According to The New York Times, more than half of President Obama’s Twitter followers are fake. They don’t even exist. Which is actually a good thing because if they did exist there wouldn’t be any jobs for them.” – Jay Leno

© Tom Tomorrow

If you follow the link, you’ll notice that the official version of this comic is abridged for publication. How do you get to see the larger versions, plus added commentary by Tom Tomorrow? By subscribing to “Sparky’s List“. Not only that, but you receive it several days before publication (although we members of the list are sworn to secrecy until the official comic is published).

By the way, I love the reference to Doctor Who (and The Silence) at the end of this comic. It is especially timely since the new season of Doctor Who just started this weekend, right between the two conventions. How quickly will we forget?

Jon Stewart gives the best recap of Clint Eastwood’s speech at the Republican National Convention, and how his performance neatly sums up the whole convention. Sorry this is split into three videos, but they are relatively short and you should watch all three of them:

Eastwood’s performance also elicited a big response on twitter. Here are just a few of the hilarious tweets:

“This is a perfect representation of the campaign: an old white man arguing with an imaginary Barack Obama.” –Jamelle Bouie

“Clint Eastwood demonstrating that seniors may not be prepared to navigate a menu of subsidized private insurance plans.” –Matt Yglesias

“Clint Eastwood’s RNC speech was to imaginary Obama in an empty chair. I’m drafting a DNC speech to imaginary Romney in an empty factory.” –@GeorgeTakei

“Did I just get invisible credit for taking out Bin Laden?” –@InvisibleObama

“I still like Clint Eastwood. A crazy Republican talking to a chair is the least harm a crazy Republican has done in ages.” –Frank Conniff

“The voice telling Clint Eastwood to shut up wasn’t Invisible Obama, it was a producer in his earpiece.” –@misc

“This Clint Eastwood interrogates invisible Obama bit feels like the world’s worst SNL skit.” –@nathanrabin

“Eastwood representing libertarians around the country: pro freedom. anti war. and, more than likely, baked.” –@davidharsanyi

“Only possible Democratic response to Eastwood’s performance is to have William Shatner sing “Rocket Man” as their keynote.”–r@OrrChris

“Clint Eastwood on the phone with Obama now: “It all went according to plan, sir.” –@chrisrockoz

“BREAKING NEWS: Instant poll, InvisibleObama leads Romney by 12 points.” –@KQuark

“I hope they invite Clint Eastwood to speak at the DNC, too.” –@indecision

“Poor Clint. But that’s on Romney’s people. You don’t let an 82 year old alone with your remote control much less your nomination night.” –Will Durst

“Backstage somewhere, Clint Eastwood is yelling at people for almost sitting on Invisible Obama.” –@delrayser

“Biden has the intellect of the Democratic Party,” sneers a man who’s put together 1 complete sentence in the last 10 minutes. –@upworthy

‏”One nation! Under God! Invisible!” –@InvisibleObama

“Had dinner at Clint Eastwood’s house tonight. He never told me which empty chair Obama was sitting in so I ate standing up.æ –@AlanZweibel

“I am going to produce the Clint Eastwood talk show. Every week he talks to big name celebrities who are not there.” –@RealGilbert

“Clint Eastwood is still wondering who the mystery speaker at the Republican convention will be.” –@LOLGOP

“BREAKING: Clint Eastwood spotted in heated argument with luggage cart at Tampa International Airport” –@TheDailyEdge

“I don’t care what critics say, I loved Clint Eastwood’s audition for the sequel to A Beautiful Mind.” –@EugeneMirman

“20 years ago I wanted Clint Eastwood to make my day. Now I just want him to take his pills and be grateful he doesn’t need Medicare.” — Nancy Lee Grahn (of the General Hospital television show)

“I can’t believe I just watched Clint Eastwood turn into somebody’s DRUNK UNCLE HARRY on the stage of the GOP RNC. He humiliated himself.” — Star Jones (lawyer and TV personality)

And finally, Ruben Bolling (of Tom the Dancing Bug) posted this comic brilliantly likening Eastwood’s talk to Calvin and Hobbes, the comic strip where only Calvin can see his live tiger Hobbes:

UPDATE: Roger Ebert’s take on Clint Eastwood’s speech. He’s a bit kinder than most people.

UPDATE 2: In an interview with USA Today, Barack Obama has nothing but kind words for Clint Eastwood, saying:

He is a great actor, and an even better director. I think the last few movies that he’s made have been terrific.

Asked if he was offended by Eastwood’s talk, Obama stayed classy:

One thing about being president or running for president — if you’re easily offended, you should probably choose another profession.