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Armed and Dangerous


© Matt Bors

The NRA is proposing that the solution to school violence is to add more guns. Their proposal is to have an armed guard at every school. But they forget that at the worst school shooting in our history, Columbine High School, there was an armed guard there, and that wasn’t enough to stop that tragedy.

Meanwhile, an 11-year-old showed up for school on Monday, armed with a .22, which his parents had encouraged him to bring for protection. But at recess, he put the gun to a fellow 6th grade student’s head and said he was going to kill her.

Yeah, right. We definitely need more of that.

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Actual Voter Fraud!

The vast majority of what has been reported as “voter fraud” has actually been voter registration fraud. For example, the supposed “voter fraud” cases that were used to destroy ACORN were actually cases where people who were paid to register voters submitted extra registrations in order to get paid more, and almost certainly resulted in no actual voting fraud.

So it is interesting to see an actual, bona fide case of voter fraud. In this case a Democratic state representative from Massachusetts has pleaded guilty to casting absentee ballots for voters who were either ineligible or were not aware that ballots were being submitted in their names.

As a result, the guilty party will resign and will not be allowed to run for office for five years.

It is also interesting to note that none of the current voter ID laws that claim to be fighting voter fraud (but are really thinly veiled attempts to suppress the vote) would have prevented this actual voter fraud.

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And Justice Wept

What happened to the American dream? The dream that anyone can make it if they work hard enough, and maybe have a little luck. That “you can make it if you try”. The dream that all men are created equal, and that nobody is above the law.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that corporations have been given the rights of people, now we see in plain sight that corporations have become our version of an aristocracy, with rights above and beyond what are given to “normal” people. But what else can you think when a large, multi-national bank admits to extremely serious crimes — including manipulating interest rates, aiding terrorists, and laundering money for drug cartels — and their punishment is no worse than a slap on the wrist?

We used to have “too big to fail”. Now we have “too big to prosecute”. As the NY Times put it:

State and federal authorities decided against indicting HSBC in a money-laundering case over concerns that criminal charges could jeopardize one of the world’s largest banks and ultimately destabilize the global financial system.

They are now above the law.

In fact, they are being rewarded. The government is bragging about their record $1.92 billion settlement with HSBC for their wrongdoing, but the good news that they aren’t even being indicted for their crimes has pushed their stock price up 10% in the last month, raising their market capitalization by $19 billion. Who is laughing all the way to the bank now? $1.9 billion may sound big but HSBC’s profits last year were $21.9 billion.

As Matt Taibbi puts it “Outrageous HSBC Settlement Proves the Drug War is a Joke“.

Or as Glenn Greenwald notes, the same day that the government let HSBC off from criminal prosecution for massive drug laundering, they sentenced a 27-year-old black single mother of three to life in prison without parole for a minor drug offense — her former boyfriend had hidden a lockbox containing a half kilo of cocaine in her attic without her knowledge. Even the judge in the case said that what she had done “does not warrant a life sentence” but he had no choice due to strict sentencing laws.

Greenwald’s bottom line? “Justice is dead in America“.

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I’m not a birther, but…

The joke used to be that people would say “I’m not a racist, but…” and then go on to say racist things.

Well, the GOP apparently has a new version of that. It may not be acceptable to say racist things in public, but it is ok to accuse our first black president of having an invalid birth certificate.

When Arizona’s eleven electors met in order to cast their electoral college votes (for Mitt Romney of course), the Associated Press reported that three of them went “birther”, and “spoke up during the ceremony to voice doubts about Obama’s eligibility as a native-born U.S. citizen.”

One of these three electors is the chairman of the Arizona Republican party. So a local radio station — thinking that his statement had somehow been taken out of context — invited him on the air. Their first question was “are you a birther?” to which he answered “No”.

But then he went on to explain that he didn’t think the president had produced a “true document,” and that the president’s birth certificate “doesn’t ring with [him].”

Sure sounds like a birther to me.

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Clutching


© Clay Bennett

How did America react to the shootings? By buying up assault weapons in record numbers in anticipation of tougher gun laws.

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Enter the Internet


© Tony Auth

Is social media really changing what is politically possible? I hope so.

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Late Night Political Humor

“According to the Mayan calendar, December 21 marks the end of the world. Then why am I Christmas shopping?” – David Letterman

“December 21, the end of the world, is a Friday. So it means dress is casual.” – David Letterman

“Japan and South Korea are on high alert after North Korea successfully launched a long-range rocket. Both countries are surprised by North Korea’s successful launch, but definitely not as surprised as North Korea.” – Jimmy Fallon

“New Jersey Democrats say Republican Governor Chris Christie will be impossible to beat. It’s unclear if they’re talking about the 2013 governor’s race or Coney Island hot dog-eating contest.” – Conan O’Brien

“A company in California designed a flying drone that will drop burritos over your house using a parachute — or as Chris Christie calls that, ‘the best forecast ever!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“According to the latest census poll, a large number of Californians are moving out of state and going to places like Texas and Nevada. Look, I know a lot of us are disgusted with the Lakers, but that’s no reason …” – Jay Leno

“The Lakers are so bad, when Mitt Romney talks about the 47 percent, he means Dwight Howard’s free throw shooting.” – Jay Leno

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NRA – Not Really Accountable


© Matt Bors

Ironically, suggesting that we not talk about guns in the wake of a massacre is just as political as talking about them.

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Thoughts on the Massacre

Is it my imagination, or do we seem to be having a spate of random and largely unexplained massacres lately?

They are horrible, and I think that there are things we can do to prevent them in the future. But I’m afraid that we are unable or unwilling to have a reasonable conversation about how to go about doing that.

Why? On one side, we have people who claim that school teachers should be armed. Those people are nuts. There is absolutely no evidence that arming everyone would reduce murders. Even school teachers go off the deep end. I know I would if I were confined to a school full of unruly kids every day.

On the other side, you have people who say that strict gun control laws would have prevented this. But the guns used in the Newtown killings were legally purchased, registered, and owned. And they were not real assault weapons. So I’m not sure that is the solution either.

Is there nothing we can do? Hardly. I tend to agree with Roger Ebert, who just repeated something he wrote after the Columbine murders:

Let me tell you a story. The day after Columbine, I was interviewed for the Tom Brokaw news program. The reporter had been assigned a theory and was seeking sound bites to support it. “Wouldn’t you say,” she asked, “that killings like this are influenced by violent movies?” No, I said, I wouldn’t say that. “But what about ‘Basketball Diaries’?” she asked. “Doesn’t that have a scene of a boy walking into a school with a machine gun?”

The obscure 1995 Leonardo Di Caprio movie did indeed have a brief fantasy scene of that nature, I said, but the movie failed at the box office (it grossed only $2.5 million), and it’s unlikely the Columbine killers saw it.

The reporter looked disappointed, so I offered her my theory. “Events like this,” I said, “if they are influenced by anything, are influenced by news programs like your own. When an unbalanced kid walks into a school and starts shooting, it becomes a major media event. Cable news drops ordinary programming and goes around the clock with it. The story is assigned a logo and a theme song; these two kids were packaged as the Trench Coat Mafia. The message is clear to other disturbed kids around the country: If I shoot up my school, I can be famous. The TV will talk about nothing else but me. Experts will try to figure out what I was thinking. The kids and teachers at school will see they shouldn’t have messed with me. I’ll go out in a blaze of glory.”

In short, I said, events like Columbine are influenced far less by violent movies than by CNN, the NBC Nightly News and all the other news media, who glorify the killers in the guise of “explaining” them.

I commended the policy at the Sun-Times, where our editor said the paper would no longer feature school killings on Page 1. The reporter thanked me and turned off the camera. Of course the interview was never used. They found plenty of talking heads to condemn violent movies, and everybody was happy.

I know newspapers want to report the news, but it seems that by doing so they are contributing to the problem. I’m not trying to lessen the horrible nature of this tragedy, but as Juan Cole points out, approximately 176 innocent children have been killed by US drones raining death from the sky. Isn’t this at least as horrible as 20 children in Connecticut killed by an unstable kid? I think we should all ask our local news outlets to stop giving so much publicity to mass murderers.

What else can we do? For one thing, stop cutting mental health budgets. For years, we’ve been cutting treatment for mentally unstable people, dumping them on the streets to become homeless, or sending them to prison, which is far more expensive (and far less helpful) than the treatments they used to receive. I think providing better mental health facilities would do a lot to reduce the number of massacres.

As I’ve said before, I believe that the second amendment clearly states that US citizens have the right to own guns. You may not like that, but you can’t legislate it out of existence. You would have to amend the constitution. But that also doesn’t mean that we can’t put in place common sense restrictions. After all, we have free speech, but that doesn’t mean you can yell “Fire!” in a crowded theater. I would support requiring all gun owners to take a gun safety course, as well as pass a simple background check to make sure they have no criminal record or serious mental health issues. These tests should be no more difficult to pass than a driver’s license exam. Nobody should be allowed to purchase or own a weapon until they do this.

UPDATE: Anyone who wants to express an opinion about guns and gun control should read this article in The Atlantic “The Secret History of Guns“. Did you know that for most of its history the NRA supported gun control laws? As did Republican saint Ronald Reagan? And the Ku Klux Klan. And that the group most responsible for starting the modern movement promoting the right to bear arms in public was the Black Panthers? It’s true.

While you’re at it, read this article too.

UPDATE 2: And here’s a must-read article about a mother with a mentally unstable child, and the problems with mental health care in the US.

UPDATE 3: A post by cartoonist Matt Bors, concerning the media’s role in this craziness.

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Rudolph the Red State Reindeer


© Derf

I’m not really sure what this comic is trying to say, but it made me laugh regardless.

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Late Night Political Humor

“A close friend of mine said his doctor gave him less than two weeks to live. But it turns out his doctor’s a Mayan. He says that to everybody.” – Jay Leno

“The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn’t end on December 21, you can bet the next day the malls will be overrun with Mayans trying to buy last-minute gifts.” – Jay Leno

“According to a new poll, most Americans think Santa Claus is a Democrat – which is really odd because when I think of a fat, old white man who hires unskilled labor, I think Republican.” – Conan O’Brien

“A new poll revealed that 44 percent of Americans think Santa is a Democrat and 28 percent believe he is a Republican. And the other 28 percent said to please stop bothering me with stupid questions. ” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Some people said, ‘Oh, Santa’s a Democrat because he gives handouts,’ and other people said, ‘He’s a Republican because he’s an old white guy.'” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The fact of the matter is Santa isn’t a Democrat or a Republican. In fact, Santa isn’t even an American. I have news for you. The real Santa is Chinese. You think elves are the ones making that plastic crap we give our kids? No. Chinese people are.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Yesterday, Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper signed an amendment that officially legalized marijuana in the state. Stoners took a moment to thank Governor Hickenlooper — then they spent a few hours just saying the word ‘Hickenlooper.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Christmas is less than two weeks away. I do most of my shopping online. But I hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while I’m doing it so I get the whole holiday shopping experience.” – Jimmy Kimmel

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Holiday Special


© Drew Sheneman

How can anyone believe there is a war on Christmas? I’ve been inundated with Christmas songs, decorations, and everything else for weeks already. If there is a war on Christmas, it is the effort to turn it into a consumer extravaganza, rather than a religious holiday.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Did you see the Manny Pacquiao fight? He got knocked out by Juan Manuel Marquez in the 6th round. Pacquiao hit the canvas face first. Was that really that big of a deal? Passing out face first in Vegas — who hasn’t done that, really?” – Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney, Snooki, and Steven Seagal were all spotted at the boxing match. The whole crowd was made up of people we won’t remember in three years.” – Conan O’Brien

“Did you see the big fight this weekend? It was the first time that Manny Pacquiao got knocked out. Mitt Romney came by to meet him and he actually said, ‘Hello, Manny. I ran for president. I lost.’ If that is not the world’s worst pep talk, I don’t know what is.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Mitt Romney was at the fight and he met with Pacquiao right before they got in the ring. Now Romney and Pacquiao have something in common. Both ended up getting knocked out by Latinos.” – Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney met Manny Pacquiao just before Pacquiao lost his boxing match to Juan Manuel Marquez. Afterwards, Romney told Pacquiao, ‘You lost for the same reason I did – young Hispanics.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Al Qaeda’s number two man has been killed by an American drone in Pakistan. In a related story, today Al Qaeda’s number three man announced he’s stepping down to spend more time with his family.” – Jay Leno

“Today the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to the European Union. The peace prize is awarded in Oslo. When someone told me, I said, ‘Norway?’ He said, ‘Yes, way’.” – Craig Ferguson

“The EU was founded in 1993 to ensure that no European nation ever start another war. By European nation, they mean ‘Germany’.” – Craig Ferguson

“I think the EU should expand and bring peace to the world’s more troubled region. Perhaps the set of ‘Two and a Half Men’.” – Craig Ferguson

“Who accepts the Nobel Prize if it goes to a group? It has to be someone not associated with any one country. Someone beloved by all of Europe for no reason at all. David Hasselhoff will go and collect the prize.” –Craig Ferguson

“Texas Governor Rick Perry announced he’s taking steps to run for president once again. He says he’s seeking the presidency for three reasons. He can remember only two of them, but he is seeking it.” – Jay Leno

“It’s starting to get Christmassy around here. The fake wreaths are hanging. The lattes at Starbucks are spiced. The holidays are upon us and won’t get off us.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Today Wal-Mart announced that on apocalypse day they will open at midnight. I think the Mayan calendar is becoming too commercialized, don’t you?” – David Letterman

“It’s time to start practicing your pretending-to-like-a-gift face.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“A survey found that 66 million Americans haven’t started their holiday shopping. Which means they only have 14 more days to find out which gas station near their house sells Chili’s gift cards.” – Jimmy Fallon

“McDonald’s reported today that it had better than expected sales in the month of November. Executives credit the success to increased advertising, new menu items, and two states legalizing weed.” – Jimmy Fallon

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Excessive Excavation


© Clay Bennett

Taxes are at historic lows since WWII. And we did pretty well while taxes were high. Why is letting them go back up to where they were during the Clinton administration such a issue?

Yes, our population is aging, and this will be a problem for Social Security and Medicare, but the solution isn’t to cut taxes even more, which is what the Republicans are proposing.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Today New Jersey Governor Chris Christie visited the White House. President Obama told him, ‘I’d invite you to lunch but the deficit is already too high.'” – Conan O’Brien

“The unemployment rate has fallen to its lowest level in nearly four years. The bad news is that most of those jobs involve wearing a red suit, a beard, and having kids pee in your lap.” – Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney got a job. He’s working at a Marriott. He is the guy that comes out to the pool and tells the kids to stop splashing.” – David Letterman

“The governor of Arizona punched a reporter who asked her about global warming. Afterwards she apologized. She said, ‘Sorry, I’m a little touchy because it’s almost Christmas and it’s 135 degrees outside.” – Conan O’Brien

“Because of climate change, “Frosty the Snowman” has a new name. Now he’s called ‘Frosty the Puddle.'” – David Letterman

“House Speaker John Boehner says that his efforts to work with President Obama on the fiscal cliff have resulted in a lot of talk but ‘no action’. Yeah, a lot of talk but no action – or as I called that in college, ‘a date’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The Pentagon is preparing for massive budget cuts in the event that the country does go over the fiscal cliff. You can tell the Pentagon is scaling back because today it became the ‘Triangle.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“According to The Associated Press, China will soon overtake the United States as the world’s number one global trader. Which is actually good news for most Americans. Didn’t you think China overtook us already?” – Jay Leno

“According to a new study at UCLA, Latinos live longer than non-Latinos. More bad news for Republicans.” – Jay Leno

“Arnold Schwarzenegger has committed to appearing in at least one new ‘Terminator’ movie. In the next movie, Arnold from the future will time travel to the past and tell Arnold from the past to wear a condom.” – Craig Ferguson

“The International Olympic Committee has stripped India of its right to participate in the games. In response, India said, ‘Fine, just try logging on to your computers now.'” – Conan O’Brien

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