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Nothing to Fear

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UPDATE: An interesting article in The Guardian points out that Snowden is not a spy, despite claims by US authorities.

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Woe is US

Tom Tomorrow
© Tom Tomorrow

Well, I guess the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

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If you can live with divorce, you can live with gay marriage

I would say the religious arguments are more based in fear than in the actual teachings, that they’re based upon stray texts that actually don’t mean what you think they mean, and that Jesus himself only said one thing about marriage, which is that you can’t divorce. And we live in a country were countless people are divorced and that doesn’t seem to threaten the religious liberty of Catholics, and it’s as fundamental an issue. So if Catholics can live with religious liberty with divorced people, they should be perfectly able to live with gay people, I mean, as married, as a civil marriage.

gay conservative (and practicing Catholic) Andrew Sullivan

Sullivan hits the nail on the head, pointing out the hypocrisy of religious conservatives who cherry-pick the bible to oppose some things, while ignoring other parts.

The full answer is even better:

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Late Night Political Humor

“President Obama spoke was in Germany and spoke at the Brandenburg Gate, which divided that city during the Cold War. Obama said it’s taught me a lot. When I was a kid, West Germany taught me the importance of standing tall, and East Germany taught me the importance of reading everyone’s mail.” – Bill Maher

“At the Berlin Wall, Obama said no wall can stand against the people’s yearning for freedom that burns in our heart – except for the one we’re going to build on the Mexican border.” – Bill Maher

“Mitt Romney’s former campaign manager has launched a super PAC to stop Hillary Clinton from becoming president. It makes sense because if there’s one thing Romney’s campaign manager is good at, it’s stopping someone from becoming president.” – Jimmy Fallon

“I challenge The Onion to come up with a headline, in their brilliant but crazy worldview, that is more weird than the real one: ‘Republican Congressman Believes in Masturbating Fetuses‘.” – Bill Maher

“Over in the Senate, they found a way to get Republicans on board with immigration reform. They’re going to militarize the border. They’re going to build a border surge. … Sounds like something you eat at Taco Bell. Or something that happens after you eat at Taco Bell.” – Bill Maher

“We’re going to build 7,000 miles of new fencing and add 20,000 more – in addition to the 20,000 we have – border agents, enough to put one every 250 feet. They said if this does not keep Arnold Schwarzenegger from impregnating the help, nothing will.” – Bill Maher

“I kid the Republicans, but whether it is border security or gun rights or gay issues, they always have the same fear — someone coming in the back door.” – Bill Maher

“What a bad week for the stock market. Yesterday was so bad the numbers looked worse than a Paula Deen talk show on the BET network.” – Jay Leno

“Stocks are dropping like a Super Bowl ring into Vladimir Putin’s pocket. That is how bad it was.” – Jay Leno

“The American Medical Association declared obesity a disease. People are already taking advantage of this; they’re calling in sick with a case of the fats.” – Bill Maher

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Proverbial Fan

John Jonik
© John Jonik

The New York Times has published a scathing editorial titled “The Criminal N.S.A.”, claiming that the spying being done on Americans by the Obama administration and the N.S.A. has gone far beyond even the overly broad surveillance authority granted by the Patriot Act and the FISA Amendments Act of 2008. What has been done in the name of the so-called “War on Terror” is in fact “criminal” and makes a “mockery” of the constitution.

Meanwhile, European officials “reacted with fury” to a report that the N.S.A. spied on European officials and diplomats by bugging their offices and infiltrating their computer networks. The President of the European Parliament said “I am deeply worried and shocked about the allegations. If the allegations prove to be true, it would be an extremely serious matter which will have a severe impact on EU-US relations. On behalf of the European Parliament, I demand full clarification and require further information speedily from the U.S. authorities with regard to these allegations.”

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Late Night Political Humor

“Last night the White House staff played softball against a team made of marijuana lobbyists. Which explains why there were 20 hits before the game even started.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The on-deck circle was a drum circle.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Did you see the pictures of Obama and Putin at the G-8 summit? It was like Thanksgiving with your relatives.” – David Letterman

“See, the problem there is they have nothing to say to one another because they’ve been bugging each other’s phones.” – David Letterman

“Are you aware of the fact that Vladimir Putin stole a Super Bowl ring from the owner of the Patriots? Listen to this: Today he stole Ricki Lake’s daytime Emmy. The guy’s whacko.” – David Letterman

“Bad day on Wall Street – the stock market dropped over 350 points today. See, I knew Obama shouldn’t have come back home. I knew this was going to happen.” – Jay Leno

“During the summer all scandals will be reruns. That’s a programming reminder from the White House.” – David Letterman

“Yesterday the FBI admitted they do use drones on U.S. soil for domestic surveillance. The FBI’s Robert Mueller told Congress that he does sometimes use drones, but he said the good news is that these drones are made in America, by Americans, to spy on Americans.” – Jay Leno

“Fashion designers Dolce & Gabbana have been sentenced to 20 months in jail for tax evasion. Their lawyers are appealing the sentence while Dolce & Gabbana are appealing the prison uniform. Orange is so last year.” – Jimmy Fallon

“That’s right. Dolce & Gabbana were convicted of tax evasion. It didn’t help when the judge asked how they pled, and they were like ‘Fabulous?'” – Jimmy Fallon

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Candigato Morris

A reader in Mexico sends me news that a cat is running for mayor of Xalapa, the capital of the Mexican state of Veracruz. Candigato (“gato” is Spanish for cat) Morris promises to rid the city of rats, including the human kind.

Candigato Morris is running a modern campaign, including a Facebook page. Judging by the number of “Likes” received, Morris has already passed three of the four mayoral candidates in popularity, and is on a trajectory to pass the last one before the election.

Candigato Morris

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Late Night Political Humor

“President Obama was in Germany today and made a historic speech. The reason Obama is in Germany is to promote democracy and to rescue Justin Bieber’s monkey.” – David Letterman

“Germany is mad at the United States for the NSA eavesdropping. This, ladies and gentlemen, from the country that gave us the Gestapo.” – David Letterman

“During the cold war, West Berlin was an ‘exclave’ – a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who want to crush it. It was like Austin, Texas.” – Craig Ferguson

“President Obama is in Berlin, Germany. It was 97 degrees in Berlin today. I haven’t seen Obama sweat like that since, well, yesterday. And the day before that. All this week, in fact.” – Craig Ferguson

“President Obama’s approval rating has dropped eight points over the past month, down to 45 percent, his lowest rating in more than a year and a half. But Obama is vowing to find out whose approval he’s lost, track them down using their email and phone records, and personally win them back.” – Jay Leno

“This spying scandal at the White House isn’t going away. In fact, it was just announced that President Obama will meet a group of regular Americans to hear their concerns about the White House surveillance program. Or more accurately, to RE-HEAR them.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The latest search for Jimmy Hoffa has been called off. The FBI now says they called off the search because the NSA said it would be too difficult to find Jimmy Hoffa because he hasn’t made a phone call since 1975.” – Jay Leno

“Iran has elected a new president named Hassan Rohani. Rohani has promised to improve Iran’s economy and fix the unemployment problem. If that doesn’t work, he’s going to blame the whole thing on President Bush.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama is trying to get Vladimir Putin to scale back Russia’s nuclear arsenal. But it’s not a good time. Putin just got a divorce. He just lost half his stuff. And his wife gets to use the Kremlin on weekends.” – Craig Ferguson

“NASA is challenging Americans to help them figure out a better way to find threatening asteroids. Americans said, ‘What do we get if you pick our idea?’ And NASA said, ‘To live’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“A new survey found that 70 percent of Americans admit to ‘going through the motions’ at their jobs. And the other 30 percent blah, blah, blah, punch line.” – Jimmy Fallon

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Traditional Marriage

polygamists-irony

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Late Night Political Humor

“This story comes up about twice a year. They think they have located the body of Jimmy Hoffa, the former Teamsters union leader, after 40 years of being dead. Nothing on the NSA whistle-blower, but we think we know where Jimmy Hoffa is.” – David Letterman

“The Senate’s new immigration bill is apparently more than a thousand pages long and weighs 24 pounds. Some critics say the bill is too long for the average American to read before it’s approved, while some senators are saying that’s the point.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The immigration bill is more than a thousand pages long. That doesn’t sound like an immigration bill. That sounds like a menu at The Cheesecake Factory.” – Jimmy Fallon

“In a new interview, Ralph Nader said there has never been a bigger con man in the White House than Barack Obama. Can you believe that? Ralph Nader is still alive!” – Jay Leno

“Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the guy who made ‘Death to America’ a popular slogan. Now his successor, a moderate guy named Rohani, doesn’t believe in death to America. He believes in lingering illness to America.” – David Letterman

“This Rohani guy has promised that he will boldly lead Iran into the 14th century.” – David Letterman

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How to Value Life and Protect Women?

Texas Governor Rick Perry calls another 30 day special session of the Texas Legislature so they can have another shot at passing their anti-abortion bill that barely missed the deadline earlier this week. Perry says “Texans value life and want to protect women and the unborn.”

Meanwhile, the State of Texas put Kimberly McCarthy to death. It was their 500th execution since the death penalty was reinstated in the US. Texas accounts for more than one-third of the executions in the US. The next closest state, Virginia, has performed 110 executions.

I’ll leave you with the Daily Show’s recap of the Texas filibuster:

The best quote is about the Texas Senate Republicans changing the time of the vote to make it look like it happened in time:

They simply believe that if late one night when you’re swept away by your emotions you make a stupid mistake, you should always have a chance to fix it later and not have to live with the consequences.

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Supreme Court v. God

Not everybody is happy with the Supreme Court rulings yesterday supporting gay marriage. Pat Robertson predicted that God might have to do something “pretty drastic“, like he did with Sodom and Gomorrah, because of the Supreme Court rulings.

But what was really bizarre was that he also questioned whether the court’s swing vote, Justice Anthony Kennedy, had some law clerks “who happen to be gays”.

All I can say is that he better not pray for some natural disaster for the next Democratic convention, since that backfired last time. After all, if God is omnipotent, he probably doesn’t like people telling him what to do.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively quit quitting. She can’t even commit to being uncommitted.” – John Oliver

“President Obama is now in Ireland for the big G8 summit. Security for the overseas presidential trip is unbelievable. He has 14 limousines, trucks loaded with sheets of bullet proof glass to cover the hotel windows, and fighter jets flying in shifts. That’s to protect the president. Joe Biden gets a pair of running shoes and a can of pepper spray.” – Jay Leno

“Edward Snowden is the guy who leaked all of the NSA secrets. He had a 98-minute press conference today and yet they can’t find the guy. This is the biggest manhunt since Martha Stewart started online dating.” – David Letterman

“This day marks the 42nd anniversary of the war on drugs. Today our partners in Mexico observed it with a moment of silence followed by hours of laughter.” – Jay Leno

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A New Hope

What an interesting day.

It started, in the wee hours of the night, with an amazing scene in the Texas legislature over a bill that would have closed almost all the abortion clinics in Texas. A thirteen hour filibuster by State Senator Wendy Davis (where she not allowed to eat or even go to the bathroom) is halted with minutes to go. The Republicans force a vote, but in the ensuing chaos can’t get it done until after the deadline (with reports that they tried to change the date to make it legal).

Next, the Supreme Court in a 5-4 vote, declares the main part of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) unconstitutional. This one seemed like a no-brainer to me. The constitution does not give the federal government any right to regulate marriage, and yet DOMA required that the feds ignore marriages between same sex couples, even if they were performed in a state where they are legal (same sex marriage is legal in twelve states plus DC). The court ruled that this violated the right to equal protection under the law. I’m really curious how four conservative justices, who claim to be strict constructionists, justified voting against this obvious conclusion.

And finally, the Supreme Court struck down an appeal in support of California’s Prop 8, which means that gay marriage will again be legal there. This one was done on a technicality, with the Supreme Court ruling that the private sponsors of the appeal did not have legal standing. Interestingly, even though this was another 5-4 decision, it was not along the usual lines, with conservatives Roberts and Scalia voting with the majority, while Kennedy (who wrote the majority opinion that overturned DOMA) and liberal Sotomayor dissenting.

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History Repeating Itself

Matt Bors
© Matt Bors

Whether you believe Edward Snowden is a hero or a traitor, the whole situation is rife with irony and hypocrisy. As the New York Times points out, it is like an intriguing spy novel come to life, with plot twists aplenty.

Like, the NSA wants us to trust that they won’t do anything nefarious with our secrets and private information, yet they hire a high-school dropout who has a pole-dancing girlfriend and give him free access. He’s even able to leave the country with laptops brimming with secrets; managing to evade our security apparatus, and end up in places like China and Russia with everything. If an intensely publicly watched person like Snowden can abscond with our secrets, why would we trust the NSA with any of our confidential information? Doesn’t it seem obvious that our national enemies and competitors probably have better access than do Congressmen with high security clearances?

I mean, it would not surprise me to learn that Al Qaeda has several moles embedded in every one of our security agencies. How could they not?

Then there is the issue of how our government mishandled the whole situation. Did they really believe that China would extradite Snowden to the US? Or that Russia would? Instead, our leaders are now reduced to calling Snowden names, like “defector”, “traitor”, and “spy” (seriously?). By treating someone who is obviously a whistle blower as a traitor, we have pushed him to become a traitor. And we look like bumbling idiots who make a mockery of the term “intelligence”.

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