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Reactionaries

Thursday, July 25, 2013

I think everyone should watch Obama’s unscripted remarks about the Florida verdict. He was thoughtful and respectful, while still being thought provoking.

On the other hand, here are some conservative pundit responses to Obama’s remarks:

If you ever had any doubts, Obama is the first Racist in Chief

I like living in a country where a black president elected twice complains about racism.

Did they even watch his remarks? How could anyone seriously think Obama was complaining about racism?

But my favorite comment is from congressman Joe Walsh (R-IL):

President Obama is making this all about race. All. About. Race.

Why would Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman even be news if it weren’t already All About Race?

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Daily Show on Florida verdicts

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

I’m enjoying John Oliver’s summer at the helm of the Daily Show. Also worth a view is Lewis Black’s segment on Texas.

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Standing Your Ground?

Monday, July 22, 2013

Our obsession with guns has run up against our desire to be tough on crime, resulting in laws that are beyond ironic. According to an article in the LA Times:

Self-defense laws reward shooters with permission to kill if they can prove they’re acting out of fear for their lives. At the same time, minimum sentencing laws mandate harsh punishments for those whose fear is judged to fall short of that threshold – regardless of context or motivation.

That’s how George Zimmerman walks free after shooting and killing Trayvon Martin in self defense (even though Martin was unarmed). Meanwhile, also in Florida, Marissa Alexander, a mother of three, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for firing a “warning shot” into a wall in her home during an argument with her estranged husband. Alexander had a restraining order against him because of previous abuse, and during the argument he threatened to kill her.

But Alexander left the scene of the argument to go into the garage to retrieve her gun, so her “stand your ground” defense was denied. Apparently “stand your ground” doesn’t apply when you are protecting your home, only when you are afraid for your life. Since she walked back to the kitchen with her gun (instead of leaving her home), she became the aggressor. And Florida law requires a minimum sentence of 20 years if a gun is fired during an aggravated assault.

As one expert put it, “Florida’s gun laws are schizophrenic.”

Even though Zimmerman is white and Alexander is black, I don’t believe the big problem here is racial. The main problem is crazy laws where what someone is thinking can make the difference between them receiving a very harsh punishment and no punishment at all.

There is a racial problem – that white people feel threatened by blacks, which also means that it is easy for a court to believe that a white person felt afraid for their life. I don’t want to downplay the racial problem. It is a huge issue, but it wouldn’t be solved by convicting Zimmerman. Zimmerman is a symptom.

By the way, if you don’t think we have a huge racial problem, read this.

Adam Zyglis
© Adam Zyglis

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Late Night Political Humor

Sunday, July 21, 2013

“People in Florida are pretty worried about the Zimmerman acquittal. They’re trying so hard to get black people to stay in their homes, it looks like election day down there.” – Bill Maher

“Their defense is that George Zimmerman is weak and stupid. That’s their whole defense, that’s such a pussy that in a fight a gun was his only chance. They put an expert on the stand that said he was an out of shape doughy loser than was completely inept at self defense – just the kind of guy you want to have on your neighborhood watch.” – Bill Maher

“And then the other day in the summation, the defense lawyer said George Zimmerman had nothing put ‘pure unadulterated innocence’. That’s right, he played the ‘my client is a moron card’. I know we can’t talk about race in this trial, but now we have to have code words for idiot? ‘If his pants are full of shit, you must acquit’.” – Bill Maher

“If we’re going to leave with one lesson from this whole assorted affair it’s to leave police work to the actual police. They’re the ones who are trained in shooting unarmed black kids.” – Bill Maher

“Yesterday Eliot Spitzer got the 4,000 signatures he needs to qualify for the city comptroller race by hiring people on Craigslist to help him. It was a big challenge, but if there’s one thing Spitzer knows how to do, it’s hire people on Craigslist.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Sarah Palin said she may run for the Senate. She said being a U.S. senator is job she’s always dreamed of resigning from.” – Bill Maher

Down in Texas Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said looked around and he said ‘I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant exploded, I returned abortion to back alleys where it belongs, my work here is done.’ I think that’s what he said, he was chewing a crayon.” – Bill Maher

“The U.S. government had a $116.5 billion surplus in June. Officials say they are now conducting an investigation to see what went wrong.” – Jay Leno

“Edward Snowden is seeking temporary asylum in Russia, because you know when you’re tired of the government snooping into everything you do, Putin’s Russia is definitely the place you want to go.” – Bill Maher

“Jay-Z says that he and President Obama text each other regularly. In one text, Jay-Z was like, ‘What’s it like being the most powerful person in the world?’ And Obama was like, ‘I dunno. Ask Beyonce’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“According to a new study in the Journal of American Medicine, marijuana can actually help make you thinner. Using marijuana can make you thinner unless you’re taking it in brownie form.” – Jay Leno

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If My Vagina Shot Bullets

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Helen Philpot of Margaret and Helen tells it like it is.

Here’s a few quotes to get you to go read the whole rant:

Margaret, if my vagina could shoot bullets it would have fewer regulations on it. Plus, it would be easier to conceal from idiot politicians like Rick Perry and John Kasich. And while that might be a bit graphic for even me, it’s a sad but very true statement.

For years now, Governor Perry has waged a war on women based on conversations he has with God and his pastor. It’s a given that Rick’s god speaks to him in a male voice. I am sure he has never considered the alternative. According to his god, women can’t be trusted to make healthcare decisions. As a result Perry has decided to make it hard for poor women (and soon almost any woman) to even have access to healthcare at all – problem solved. When you gut funding for family planning, force doctors to perform unnecessary procedures on women (and only women) and then shut down dozens of women’s health clinics… well let’s just say it’s not a stretch to suggest that Rick Perry hates women.

And for those women out there, who think this is really about saving innocent babies, let me assure you it’s not. Republican politicians have passed legislation to define pregnancy as beginning at fertilization which means most types of birth control are now defined as causing abortions. You might want to think about that really hard. Are they saving babies or just calling you a slut?

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Late Night Political Humor

Friday, July 19, 2013

“According to The Washington Post, the NSA has been monitoring phone calls and emails of people in Mexico. So apparently it’s not enough to spy on American citizens, they feel they have to spy on FUTURE American citizens as well.” – Jay Leno

“America has lost the title of the fattest nation on earth. We are now only the second-fattest nation. We lost the title to Mexico. Isn’t that amazing? We are so fat and lazy now that we’re too fat and lazy to be number one at being fat and lazy.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama’s approval rating is down to 44 percent. You can tell Obama’s getting desperate because today he gave a speech entitled ‘Hey, guys, the Twinkie is coming back next week’.” – Conan O’Brien

“Now that marijuana is legal in the state of Colorado, in Denver they’re talking about taxing it up to 35 percent. Suddenly those drug cartels don’t seem so greedy anymore, do they?” – Jay Leno

“Residents of northeast Colorado, which is much more rural than the rest of the state, don’t think they’re properly represented so they want to break the state into two pieces. This is what happens when you legalize marijuana. Everyone gets all paranoid and tries to secede.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The idea is to divide Colorado into two states, and they want to call the new state North Colorado. If you’re going to go to the trouble of creating a new state, give it a cool name like ‘Danger Zone’, or ‘Colorado 2: The Reckoning’.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“They have about as much chance of seceding from Colorado as Chuck-E has to secede from Cheese.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Political experts say that Eliot Spitzer’s decision to return to politics could hurt Anthony Weiner’s chances of becoming mayor. Or as Spitzer put it, ‘See? I’m making things better already.'” – Jimmy Fallon

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Filabustapocalypse!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

wu130717
© Matt Wuerker

The New Yorker makes an interesting point about filibuster reform. Filibusters in the Senate are used to block three things: judicial nominees (like to the Supreme Court), ordinary legislation, and administration appointees (like Cabinet members and heads of agencies).

Using the filibuster to block the nomination of judges (especially Supreme Court justices) make the most sense. After all, they are appointed for life. And the Judiciary is the third branch of our government, so of course the Executive and Legislative branches should both have a significant say in who is appointed to them.

Using the filibuster to block ordinary legislation makes slightly less sense. After all, a future Congress can change any law it doesn’t like. This kind of filibuster was originally designed so that the majority could not trample on the rights of a minority. But the excessive use of filibusters now means that a minority is regularly trampling on the rights of the majority. Even worse, it is being used for craven political purposes — to bring Congress to a standstill so the party in power looks bad, even though it is the party out of power that is blocking everything using the filibuster.

Finally, the filibuster to block administration appointees makes almost no sense at all. After all, these appointments serve only during the current administration and automatically end when the presidency changes hands. Presidents are elected, so they should be able to appoint like minded officials to their administration’s posts. It makes no sense that the Senate can block (sometimes for years) hiring decisions of the president for pretty much no reason at all. There is no basis for this kind of filibuster in the constitution, and its only purpose seems to be to allow a minority to hobble the president’s administration for political reasons.

I think we definitely need filibuster reform. For example, we could keep filibusters of judicial nominees essentially as they currently exist. As for filibusters of legislation, we could require that they be real filibusters — with Senators standing at the podium and speechifying for hours — rather than just allowing the threat of a filibuster to block a law. And finally, I think we should either eliminate the filibuster of executive appointments, or at least severely restrict them. As they currently exist, they just serve to throw a monkey-wrench into our government for no good reason.

Finally, it is interesting to note that back when the Republicans threatened to invoke the nuclear option eight years ago, it was because Democrats were filibustering appointments to the judiciary (when Bush was attempting to stack the appeals courts with blatant partisans), which is the kind of filibuster most supported by the constitution. But when the Democrats just threatened a “nuclear option” this week, it was because the Republicans were filibustering administration appointments, some of whom were blocked for years for no reason other than to obstruct the government.

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Am I Racist?

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Ted Rall
© Ted Rall

Was it my imagination, or was the media trying to turn this into another blockbuster like the OJ Simpson trial? Everyone seems to be riled up, but we still don’t have any real answers as to what to do. I’m thinking that “stand your ground” laws are a very bad idea, but other than that, did we learn anything?

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Colbert on Racist Names

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I knew Stephen Colbert would have something hilarious to say about this.

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Employee Theft

Monday, July 15, 2013

Jen Sorensen
© Jen Sorensen

This is not a joke. For many low-paid workers, the fees reduce the amount of money they earn to less than minimum wage.

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Late Night Political Humor

Monday, July 15, 2013

“Great news for NSA leaker Edward Snowden. He’s just been named Cinnabon Customer of the Month in the Moscow Airport.” – David Letterman

“The United States is no longer the fattest country in the world. Please help us, Paula Deen. We’re no longer the fattest country in the world. That’s why they’re bringing back Twinkies. The fattest people in the world now are Mexicans. And that’s, of course, because they’re all living here.” – David Letterman

“President Obama told a group of kids that broccoli is his favorite food. Then he said, ‘Is Michelle gone? Cool, it’s actually Skittles.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Conservative rock star Ted Nugent says that he is thinking about running for president in 2016. Nugent said it’s always been his dream. Then Democrats said, ‘Ours too!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Despite his prostitution scandal several years ago, Eliot Spitzer is running for comptroller of New York. He’s paying someone $800 a day to collect signatures to put him on the ballot. He said it’s the second best $800 he’s ever spent.” – Conan O’Brien

“Osama bin Laden once got a speeding ticket in Pakistan. This guy had no respect for the law! When SEAL Team 6 broke into the house, he said to them, ‘Is this about that speeding ticket?'” – David Letterman

“According to a report from Pakistan, Osama bin Laden wore a big cowboy hat when he walked around his compound to shield him from being seen by U.S. drones. That’s a good strategy. The Lone Ranger wears a cowboy hat, and nobody has seen him anywhere.” – Jay Leno

“In a new interview, former President George W. Bush called the immigration system broken. And not just in this country. He said other countries also are filled with foreigners and we have to get them out.” – Conan O’Brien

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What About Both?

Sunday, July 14, 2013

frank-gay-congressman

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Late Night Political Humor

Sunday, July 14, 2013

“Televangelist Pat Robertson said he wishes Facebook had a ‘vomit button’ he could push whenever someone posts a picture of a gay couple kissing. Of course, the other option would be for Pat Robertson to stop searching online for gay men kissing.” – Conan O’Brien

“Pakistan now says Osama bin Laden was able to avoid being detected by wearing a cowboy hat. A Pakistani authority said, ‘I guess he just got lost in a sea of other Muslims wearing a cowboy hat’.” – Conan O’Brien

“It turns out the Pakistan police pulled Osama bin Laden over for speeding. Pulled him over and wrote the guy a ticket. So listen. I don’t want to hear any more of this nonsense about Pakistan being lenient on Osama bin Laden, OK?” – David Letterman

“Mexico has replaced the U.S. as the world’s fattest nation. The U.S. is now number two. The Mexican government has done a lot of research. It turns out their people eat way too much Mexican food.” – Conan O’Brien

“A new report found that Mexico has passed the U.S. as the most obese country in the world. It doesn’t mean we got skinnier. It just means they’re fatter than we are. But don’t worry – Twinkies are coming back next week, so we should be fine.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Political experts are saying Joe Biden needs to start doing more fundraising if he wants to run for president in 2016. A lot of people are saying they’d definitely donate to a Biden campaign. Most of them are Republicans, but still.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Texas Gov. Rick Perry says he will not run for governor for a fourth term, though he hasn’t ruled out running for president again. The voters have, he just hasn’t.” – Jay Leno

“With Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer running for political office, New York City is changing its nickname to ‘The City That Never Sleeps With Its Wife’.” – Conan O’Brien

“President Obama is getting a new limousine that will have advanced night-vision capabilities. The technology even has a cool name – it’s called headlights.” – Jimmy Fallon

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Racism

Saturday, July 13, 2013

So, within 30 seconds of the crash of Asiana flight 214 at SFO, there was a photo of it posted on Twitter.

Almost as quickly, the mainstream media jumped on the theory that the crash occurred because of the Korean tradition of unwillingness to question authority. The theory posited that surely one of the co-pilots noticed that the flight was coming in too low and too slow, but they were reluctant to point this out to the pilot in command.

What they were struggling with was a cultural legacy, that Korean culture is hierarchical. You are obliged to be deferential toward your elders and superiors in a way that would be unimaginable in the U.S. But Boeing and Airbus design modern, complex airplanes to be flown by two equals. That works beautifully in low-power-distance cultures [like the U.S., where hierarchies aren’t as relevant]. But in cultures that have high power distance, it’s very difficult.

But karma works in ironic ways. Earlier today, SF Bay Area TV station KTVU reported that they had learned the names of the pilots on that flight, and then – with a straight face – read the names out loud on the air. Watch it:

So now I’m waiting for all those mainstream media outlets to print stories about how this appalling on-air screwup happened because journalists in America are hierarchical and unwilling to question their superiors. After all, surely somebody noticed that these names are racist jokes, but they must have been reluctant to point this out to their bosses.

Am I the only person who noticed the irony of this situation?

Well, I guess I must be wrong. After all, the Supreme Court recently ruled that racism isn’t a factor in America any more.

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Late Night Political Humor

Friday, July 12, 2013

“Former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer announced he is running for New York City comptroller, and one of his opponents is the madam who supplied him with hookers. There’s a tough choice for the voters. One is involved in the most degrading profession of all time, and the other ran a whore house.” – Jay Leno

“Eliot Spitzer resigned from the governor’s office five years ago after he was crushed by a pile of prostitutes or something. But now he’s back and what makes this news especially interesting is that one of his opponents, a woman named Kristin Davis, is the madam who supplied him with call girls. It’s the classics story of boy meets girl, boy pays for sex with girl, boy resigns in disgrace, and then boy runs against girl he paid for other girls for the office of comptroller. In Africa, they call it Hooker Matata.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“This week at the White House, President Obama will present George Lucas with the National Medal of Arts, while Joe Biden will present him with some fan mail for Yoda.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Republicans are already trying to paint Hillary Clinton as too old to be president. In fact, a new ad claims she’s so old that she could be a Republican.” – Conan O’Brien

“NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden has been offered asylum in Venezuela, Nicaragua, and Bolivia. Or as Snowden put it, ‘Prison it is!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Last Thursday we celebrated our 237th year of independence from Great Britain. And our 10th year of dependence on the Chinese.” – Jay Leno

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