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How to Think like a Birther

Tea Party Senator Ted Cruz was born in Canada (and is still a Canadian citizen), to an American mother and a Cuban father. So how are birthers who questioned Obama’s eligibility to be president responding to Cruz’s desire to run for the highest office?

With an extra dose of irony, of course!

The constitution is a little vague on the issue. It says only that to be eligible to be president, a candidate must be a “natural born citizen“, but does not define what that means. Indeed, John McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone (not even considered American territory) to American parents who were stationed there in the military, but hardly anyone questioned his eligibility to run for president. And Mitt Romney’s father George ran for president, but he was born in Mexico to parents who fled the USA so they could practice polygamy.

Birthers claimed that despite Obama having a Hawaiian birth certificate, he was secretly born in Kenya and thus ineligible to be president. But they believe that Cruz, even though he freely admits he was born in Canada, is eligible to be president because he has an American-born mother. Somehow, they ignore the undisputed fact that Obama’s mother was born in the USA (in Kansas).

But it gets even stranger. Take Republican voter Christina Katok, who attended a tea party rally to see Cruz speak. She believes that Obama was not eligible to be president but says she would vote for Cruz in a heartbeat. Her reasoning? “As far as I’m concerned, Canada is not really foreign soil.”

Jack Ohman

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More Frisking, not Less

The Daily Show points out that if the police are going to stop and frisk anyone who looks suspicious, they are leaving out a very significant group of criminals.

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False Flag?

Glenn Greenwald is accusing the UK government of purposely leaking damaging classified information and blaming Edward Snowden for the leak, in order to make it look like Snowden has been leaking damaging information (information that could place people in danger).

I am going to reserve judgement about what is really going on, but it is pretty suspicious that The Independent, a UK paper that has never before published any revelations based on Snowden’s NSA leaks, suddenly publishes potentially damaging information, and when journalists working on Snowden’s information up until now have been careful to avoid publishing any such damaging information.

Furthermore, even though The Independent claims that the information came from Snowden, Snowden himself denies that he has ever talked to The Independent or provided them with any information.

It is also suspicious that this occurred at the exact moment that the UK government is coming under attack for detaining Greenwald’s partner David Miranda under the Terrorism Act and confiscating his laptop, phone, and camera, when they knew that he was not a terrorist. Indeed, the UK government is currently trying to convince a court that Snowden’s disclosures constituted a danger to public safety, and suddenly out pops the first disclosure that could be considered a danger to public safety.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Mayor Filner of San Diego has had 14 women come forward alleging that he sexually harassed them. In San Diego, Hooters restaurants are refusing to serve Filner because they say he’s disrespectful to women in his office. The CEO said there’s a time and a place to be disrespect to women and that’s at a Hooters.” –Conan O’Brien

“The mayor of San Diego has been accused of sexually harassing 14 women. Now a Hooters in San Diego has put up a sign saying they won’t serve Mayor Bob Filner because he disrespects women. A spokesperson for Hooters said we don’t want him as a customer, but would love him as a manager.” – Conan O’Brien

“According to a new poll, over 50 percent of New Yorkers say they won’t vote for Anthony Weiner no matter what. The other 50 percent say they’re going to wait until they see all the other candidates’ penises. It’s called comparison shopping.” – Conan O’Brien

“According to a new study, most men would like women to occasionally pick up the check. The study also found most women would occasionally like to be paid as much as men for doing the same job.” – Conan O’Brien

“In North Korea, they developed the first-ever smartphone, just like an iPhone. But if you ask Siri any questions, she reports you to the police.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“It is widely believed these phones were secretly built in China and shipped to North Korea. It’s hard to believe they built a smartphone, because wi-fi and cellphone data plans are illegal there. You can’t even have friends and family in North Korea” – Jimmy Kimmel.

“The makers of drones want the media to stop calling their unmanned aircrafts ‘drones’. They don’t like the name drones. The manufacturers said, we prefer the term ‘surprise visitor’.” – Conan O’Brien

“Some park rangers in California found a plot on which someone grew 500,000 pounds of marijuana. They assume this pot was grown by humans, but I wouldn’t rule out bears. Think about it: They sleep three months a year, all you ever see them doing is rummaging through the trash trying to find food, and their leader’s name is Smokey.” – Jimmy Kimmel

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Stand Your Ground

Lalo Alcaraz
© Lalo Alcaraz

Does it mean that the 99% end up on the ground?

I think this comic hit me mainly because of how terrorism laws are now being used to harass anyone the government doesn’t like, including journalists. Why wouldn’t we worry about laws that allow you to shoot someone if you feel threatened?

Or, ironically, if someone who has a life-threatening pre-existing condition (like cancer) feels threatened by GOP threats to repeal Obamacare (because losing their health insurance could kill them) does that mean that they can use “stand your ground” laws to justify shooting Republicans?

I hope not!

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Republicans, you’re doing a heck of a job

According to a new survey done by Public Policy Polling in Louisiana, slightly more Republicans in the state blame Barack Obama for the inadequate response to Hurricane Katrina than blame George W Bush. Even though the hurricane that battered Louisiana occurred while Bush was president, and three years before Obama became president.

Interestingly, the largest group of Republicans — 44% — said they didn’t know whom to blame. While 29% blamed Obama and 28% blamed Bush.

In the same poll, respondents were asked whom they would like to see as the GOP nominee for president in 2016. Jeb Bush received 17%, a close second to Rand Paul, who received 18%.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Some unelected, activist judge has rejected Stop and Frisk on the bizarre theory that minorities have the constitutional right not to be stopped at random and manhandled by strangers. Despite the fact that when the Constitution was written, minorities weren’t even invented yet.” – Stephen Colbert

“Sixty-two percent of New Yorkers say they are embarrassed by the sex scandals of Anthony Weiner. Weiner said, ‘Let me know when that number reaches 69’.” – Conan O’Brien

“San Diego Mayor Bob Filner has been accused of sexual harassment by 14 women, and now there’s so many a hotline has been established to take any new sexual harassment claims. The number is 1-800-How Is This Guy Still Mayor?” – Conan O’Brien

“San Diego Mayor Bob Filner left his sexual harassment rehab program a week early. He said, ‘I’m mostly cured, now I only grab one boob.'” – Conan O’Brien

“As part of her anti-obesity campaign, First Lady Michelle Obama is releasing a hip hop album. The name of the album is Phat Beats for Fat Kids.'” – Conan O’Brien

“North Korea has announced that it’s developing its own smartphone. Unfortunately, the phones are so smart, they’ve already escaped from North Korea.” – Conan O’Brien

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Making an Example

Bradley Manning has been sentenced to 35 years in prison for being a whistleblower.

The prosecution argued for a 60 year sentence, specifically to make an example of him to deter others from leaking classified information.

Ironically, the example they are actually making is that being a whistleblower is considered as bad as being an enemy spy. The Brennan Center for Justice called Manning’s sentence “unprecedented”. “It’s more than 17 times the next longest sentence ever served” for providing secret material to the media. “It is in line with sentences for paid espionage for the enemy.” Indeed.

The ACLU pointed out the hypocrisy of his sentence. “When a soldier who shared information with the press and public is punished far more harshly than others who tortured prisoners and killed civilians, something is seriously wrong with our justice system.”

Amnesty International has the best answer. “Instead of fighting tooth and nail to lock him up for decades, the US government should turn its attention to investigating and delivering justice for the serious human rights abuses committed by its officials in the name of countering terror.”

UPDATE: This case takes a bizarre new twist, as Manning announces that he is transgendered, and intends to live out the remainder of his life as a woman. Manning’s attorney read out a statement on the Today show on NBC, saying “I am Chelsea Manning. I am female. Given the way that I feel, and have felt since childhood, I want to begin hormone therapy as soon as possible. I hope that you will support me in this transition.”

UPDATE 2: I completely agree with this opinion piece in Politico. Read it. It proposes a set of rules for prosecuting whistleblowers that make a lot of sense:

  1. Government employees who expose misconduct should not be punished more severely than those who engage in misconduct. Among the more blatant injustices of the Manning case is that Manning was prosecuted more intensely, and punished far more harshly, than other soldiers (and their superiors) who authorized and engaged in war crimes, including the torture of prisoners and the killing of civilians.
  2. Not all leaks are the same, and the law should not treat them the same. … Indeed, unauthorized disclosures of information relating to government fraud, corruption, or illegal activities should not be prosecuted at all.
  3. The government should have to demonstrate that the leaked information had been properly withheld form the public. Rampant overclassification of information about critically important government activities is a chronic and widely recognized problem.
  4. The government should be consistent in its enforcement of criminal laws against leaking. … Even while the Obama administration has brought an unprecedented number of leak prosecutions, it has simultaneously provided favored reporters with vast amounts of classified information for the production of news reports and books that further its preferred narrative.
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Why Republicans Will Not Repeal Obamacare

Meet Clint Murphy. Last week, while Newt Gingrich was explaining why Republicans couldn’t repeal Obamacare unless they came up with a better replacement, Murphy showed a more direct example of why they can’t repeal Obamacare.

Murphy is a Republican foot soldier. The kind of party activist who has worked on Republican campaigns including Casey Cagle, John McCain, and Karen Handel. The problem is, political foot soldiers like Murphy only have paid jobs during campaigns. And even in this era of perpetual campaigns, they are going to find themselves out of work from time to time. Which means that if people like him ever get one of those dreaded “pre-existing conditions”, without Obamacare’s requirements that insurance companies cannot turn you down for having a pre-existing condition, they would never be able to qualify for health insurance.

And of course, in a high stress job like politics, eventually you will get a pre-existing condition. In Murphy’s case, it was testicular cancer.

It doesn’t matter that after some chemotherapy his cancer has been in remission for over a decade. And even if the cancer didn’t count as a pre-existing condition, Murphy also has sleep apnea, a condition for which the insurance companies also turned him down. So even though Murphy is only 38, he has no health insurance.

Last week, on the same day as Newt Gingrich was speaking, Murphy made a post to his Facebook account about Obamacare:

When you say you’re against it, you’re saying that you don’t want people like me to have health insurance.

When Georgia’s health insurance exchange opens in October, as mandated by Obamacare, Murphy says he will “absolutely” sign up.

Murphy also points out the irony of how repealing Obamacare could push people like him into bankruptcy, which could lead to welfare, and thus increase the cost of government.

However, Murphy himself isn’t above acting ironically. He is even supporting Karen Handel for the US Senate next year, even though Handel’s campaign remains committed to “a full stop and defunding of Obamacare in its entirety now” and calls for shutting down the government this fall if that doesn’t happen.

So is all the noise about repealing or defunding Obamacare just bluster to fire up the base? I for one do not believe the Republicans will ever do it. They would just be cutting off their own nose to spite their face.

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Transparency?

Tom Tomorrow
© Tom Tomorrow

You know, I don’t blame Obama for all of this. After all, the Patriot Act was enacted before he was even elected, and anyone who voted against it was practically branded a traitor. We are paying dearly for our idiotic knee-jerk fear-ridden reaction to 9/11.

But Obama sure seems to be doing his best to get blamed for it. Appointing James Clapper to investigate this? Seriously? What’s next? Appointing Bill Clinton to investigate adulterous sex in the White House?

As usual, I take a moderate position in this. Yes of course we need an intelligence service in this country. And of course there will be secrets kept from the American people. But the pendulum seems to have swung way too far to the extreme of too many secrets and no accountability. We need to fix this now or risk doing more damage to our country than any outside terrorists could ever do.

UPDATE: Rachel Maddow makes my point better than I could. It is almost as if our government is going out of their way to prove that government spying is out of control.

UPDATE 2: Good editorial in The Guardian “As a Democrat, I am disgusted with President Obama“. I can’t say I’m this disgusted with Obama, but I can’t argue much with the reasons why.

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Late Night Political Humor

“The new iPhone is coming soon. The new iPhone is going to have a new feature that actually keeps track of your every movement. Then President Obama was like, ‘Right. NEW feature’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday, President Obama met with the Greek prime minister to discuss reforming Greece’s economy. President Obama talked with the prime minister of Greece about the economy. Actually, it’s ‘the blind leading the blind’.” – Jay Leno

“Yesterday, Obama met with the prime minister of Greece at the White House. When he heard the leader of Greece was there, Biden said, ‘John Travolta’s here?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Anthony Weiner has released a 19-page booklet on how to improve life in New York City. Oh, please. If Weiner wants to improve life in New York City, he should move to New Jersey.” – Jay Leno

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Late Night Political Humor

“A man in Colorado wants marijuana to be classified as a vegetable. I just have to say that that’s an ingenious way to get Americans to stop smoking pot.” – Conan O’Brien

“The New York City Department of Education says that only 26 percent of the city’s students passed the English portion on a recent standardized test. But on the bright side, they’re too bad at math to realize how bad that is.” – Jimmy Fallon

“I guess you all heard about this terrorist threat the president warned us about. One of the reasons Al Qaeda is upset with the United States is because we are giving aid to Yemen. We didn’t have a choice. When life hands you Yemen, you give them Yemen aid.” – Jay Leno

“The Secret Service is asking people on Twitter to report any suspicious tweets. So now if your boss catches you on Twitter, just tell him you’re protecting the country.” – Conan O’Brien

“Before they went on vacation, Congress voted to exempt themselves from Obamacare. They gave themselves a special exemption because they thought it was too expensive. So the people who voted for Obamacare for us voted to exempt themselves from it. You know how doctors take the Hippocratic Oath. Congress apparently takes the ‘Hypocritic Oath’.” – Jay Leno

“The Mars rover Curiosity is celebrating its first anniversary on Mars. So far, in the year it’s been up there it’s sent back 70,000 photos. I know that sounds like a lot, but it’s still less than Anthony Weiner sent out.” – Jay Leno

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The 3 Pillars Come Tumbling Down

We have been reassured repeatedly that the three branches of government all have exercised extensive and rigorous oversight over the NSA spying program. Obama repeated this claim just last week:

As President, I’ve taken steps to make sure they have strong oversight by all three branches of government and clear safeguards to prevent abuse and protect the rights of the American people.

Well, those reassurances are almost entirely false. A newly revealed internal audit of the spying program, which details thousands of constitutional violations, was never even shown to the President, Congress, or the FISA court.

As the EFF puts it:

The pattern is now clear and it’s getting old. With each new revelation the government comes out with a new story for why things are really just fine, only to have that assertion demolished by the next revelation. It’s time for those in government who want to rebuild the trust of the American people and others all over the world to come clean and take some actual steps to rein in the NSA. And if they don’t, the American people and the public, adversarial courts, must force change upon it.

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Late Night Political Humor

“During a fundraiser last night, Mitt Romney told Republicans that they need to pick a candidate for 2016 who can actually win. And Republicans said, ‘Yeah, I wish you told us that last year. But hey, thanks a lot.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“The Republican National Committee now says if NBC and CNN don’t pull plans for a Hillary Clinton miniseries and movie, they won’t hold any Republican debates on those networks. That works for me! Now if we could just get the Democrats to pull their debates, we wouldn’t have to watch any of that crap.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama has called off a summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin because of diplomatic differences. Also, Obama didn’t like Putin’s demand that the summit be held shirtless and on horseback.” – Conan O’Brien

“We had President Obama on the show last night. It was a huge honor, but all the security made it difficult getting into the building. Security was checking IDs, the Secret Service was searching cars, Donald Trump was out front checking birth certificates — it was crazy.” – Jay Leno

“U.S. embassies are closed all around the Middle East this week due to a terrorist threat. What happened was the U.S. intercepted a conference call of 20 Al Qaeda operatives. Twenty on one conference call! Who is their carrier? I go under a bridge and my cellphone drops the call, but they can get 20 people in one call from a cave?” – Jay Leno

“Michelle Obama’s new initiative is to fight obesity through hip-hop. She hopes it goes better than the previous initiative – fighting marijuana use through reggae.” – Conan O’Brien

“This story just gets crazier: Two more women have come forward to accuse San Diego Mayor Bob Filner of sexual misconduct. That brings the total to 13 — or as Filner calls it, a groper’s dozen.” – Jay Leno

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Gag Me With A Rule!

Jen Sorensen
© Jen Sorensen

The real situation is even more bizarre than the comic suggests. The state’s top insurance regulator isn’t even allowed to be interviewed by the media about this. Also, the person responsible for implementing the Affordable Care Act in Missouri is not allowed to be paid by the state, so he is being funded by a nonprofit group and then is “loaned” to the state.

It seems like Obama haters are doing everything they can in order to sabotage the ACA, I guess so they can later claim that it is a failure.

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