Political Irony

“We are actually headed toward a government shutdown, but if that’s what it takes to get Ted Cruz off my TV, I am all for it.” – Bill Maher

“This Ted Cruz guy, he incurred the wrath of his own party. They don’t like him. Democrats hate him. Independents hate him. Republicans hate him. Even Miley Cyrus — he’s the one guy she refuses to lick.” – Bill Maher

“Ted Cruz reminds me of Miley Cyrus because he is not afraid to incur the wrath of even some of his fans for the greater good of drawing attention to himself. I really think a filibuster is the political version of ‘twerking’.” – Bill Maher

“Texas Sen. Ted Cruz gave a 21-hour speech on the floor of the Senate during which he read Dr. Seuss’ ‘Green Eggs and Ham’, did an impression of Darth Vader, and admitted his love for White Castle. I’m not sure what Cruz’s speech was arguing for, but I’m guessing legalizing weed.” – Seth Meyers

“Ted Cruz talked for 21 hours in a fake filibuster, or as I call it, the vagina monologue. 21 hours? I kept saying, ‘Where is Kanye West when you need him?'” – Bill Maher

“Even if it was a real filibuster, which is wasn’t, it wouldn’t even be the record. Strom Thurmond holds the record, 24 hours 18 minutes, taking only one break to impregnate his maid.” – Bill Maher

“Republicans in Congress this week attempted to defund Obamacare before it begins open enrollment October 1. Because you know the old saying, ‘If you can’t beat them, kick the ball into the woods.'” – Seth Meyers

“The Senate passed a bill to keep the government running, but of course the teabaggers are still insisting on defunding Obamacare or they will blow the whole place up. Why are we asking them again? It’s like saying to someone, ‘Put your baby back on the phone’.” – Bill Maher

“Did you see Obama today, talking about talking to the president of Iran on the phone? For the first time since 1979 we are talking to the Islamic Republic of Iran. Obama says talking to him is probably pointless, but it’s a hell of a relief from Mitch McConnell.” – Bill Maher

“Officials believe that one of the terrorists [in the mall attack in Kenya] was a woman. And there are female suicide bombers. It’s just that their reward in paradise is a little different. Instead of getting 72 virgins, they get 72 guys who just listen.” – Bill Maher

“Some people got together and set a new world record in Times Square yesterday for twerking. And still Vladimir Putin says Americans aren’t exceptional.” – David Letterman

“President Obama is now making his case for raising the debt limit. He said raising the debt limit does not increase debt. You know, like raising the speed limit does not increase speed.” – Jay Leno

“There’s a new issue of ‘Cosmopolitan’ that explains Obamacare to women. The article is called ’10 pre-existing conditions to drive your man crazy.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Cory Booker, mayor of Newark, has been tweeting with a stripper in Oregon. He’s a bachelor so when this news broke, he had to hire somebody to stand next to him and look humiliated.” – David Letterman

“The post office wants a three-cent stamp increase to 49 cents. They say fewer and fewer people are using the post office and they’re losing money. See, that’s government thinking. Only the government would think, ‘Hey, I know how to attract more customers. Let’s raise the price.'” – Jay Leno

“The post office just can’t get its act together. They announced today they want to raise the price of stamps so they can make an extra $2 billion. That is still better than their original plan — uninvent the Internet.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Treasury Secretary Jack Lew just sent a letter to Congress, telling them that the government will run out of money on October 17. Congress said, ‘Then why didn’t you just send an email instead of buying those expensive new stamps?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“How about that senator from Texas, Ted Cruz. He gets a hold of the microphone on the floor of the Senate and he starts yakking for 21 hours. I’m telling you, that government shutdown certainly looks pretty good now, doesn’t it?” – David Letterman

“Well, that’s easy for you to take that kind of physical risk – you’ve got government health care.” – Jon Stewart (on Ted Cruz speaking for 21 hours)

“Texas Senator Ted Cruz had quite a day yesterday. To protest a government bill that would fund Obamacare, he decided to take the floor of the Senate and keep speaking until he was no longer able to stand – at which point he would collapse, be taken to the hospital and be treated for exhaustion by Obamacare.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“At one point Ted Cruz takes out ‘Green Eggs and Ham’. He reads a kiddy book. The message he was sending there, I think, is that Obamacare will only cover visits to Dr. Seuss.” – David Letterman

“Ted Cruz read “Green Eggs and Ham” aloud. That has now replaced jumping on Oprah’s couch as the weirdest thing done by a Cruz on television.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“So to express your opposition to Obamacare, you go to the book about a stubborn jerk who decides he hates something before he’s tried it, and when he finally gets a taste, he has to admit after he’s tasted it, ‘This is pretty fucking good’.” – Jon Stewart

“Tea party Senator Ted Cruz gave a 21-hour speech on the floor of the Senate. During his protest, Cruz actually read from the book ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ by Dr. Seuss. Democrats were like, ‘When will this end?’ But then Chris Christie said, ‘When do we get those eggs and ham?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“In his effort to try to stop Obamacare, Texas Senator Ted Cruz spoke for 21 hours and 19 minutes nonstop. That’s impressive, but still eight hours short of the record held when somebody asked Joe Biden, ‘Hey, what’s new?'” – Jay Leno

“In the end after 21 hours of railing against Obamacare, Cruz ended up voting the same way as all other senators. His speech didn’t accomplish anything. But it was a big event for C-SPAN – so big that they’re planning to run it again as a special over the weekend.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“21 hours of listening to Ted Cruz. How awful is that? Still not as bad as 21 hours of a Carnival cruise.” – Jay Leno

“Despite all of the controversy, President Obama says he’s still moving forward with the healthcare law. In fact, the White House announced that residents of Florida will have 102 different insurance options when Obamacare rolls out. That’s because if there’s one thing people in Florida love, it’s a confusing number of options.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Breaking Bad” airs its final episode on Sunday. It’s about a chemistry teacher who has cancer and starts making meth to help cover his medical bills and provide for his family. Or as Republicans call that, a legitimate alternative to Obamacare.” – Jay Leno

Jimmy Kimmel asks people on the street whether they prefer Obamacare or the Affordable Care Act. With hilarious results.

This is what we are up against when the Republicans claim that people don’t like Obamacare. Most people have no clue about it.

[Hat tip to Huff Post]