As Jon Stewart hilariously points out, the same Republican masterminds who fostered and encouraged the Tea Party to take control of the Republican party are now complaining about the monster they created.
So, how short is our attention span? Unfortunately, their strategy might just work.
“It’s day 15 of the government shutdown. President Obama said he was hopeful an agreement would be reached tonight. Part of the problem is that Republicans can’t even agree among themselves on what they want. Which means Obama doesn’t know what to tell them they can’t have.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Because of the government shutdown, the White House is under attack – by squirrels. They’ve invaded the White House garden because the gardeners were laid off. Michelle Obama planted a garden to show how easy it is to grow your own food. All you need is water, sunlight, and 50 full-time federal employees.” – Craig Ferguson
“The effects of the shutdown are being felt in the White House vegetable garden. Because the gardeners have been furloughed, the vegetables are starting to rot. Is it possible that President Obama intentionally engineered the shutdown just so he would have an excuse to eat a cheeseburger?” – Jimmy Kimmel
‘A lot of people got mad when Michelle Obama expanded the White House garden. That just shows you some people don’t know their history. When Eleanor Roosevelt grew a garden, it was a ‘victory garden.’ But when Michelle Obama does it, it’s a ‘communist plot’.” – Craig Ferguson
“When I first heard the White House was under attack by freaky rodents, I thought, ‘What’s Ann Coulter done now?'” – Craig Ferguson
“This kind of thing would never have happened under George W. Bush because Dick Cheney would have been on the White House lawn blasting the squirrels with a shotgun.” – Craig Ferguson
“Today was day 14 of the government shutdown. I am starting to forget what it is like to have a government. There was a guy with big ears and a suit who talked about hope. That is all gone.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Just when you think that Congress could not do anything less, they manage to. At this point the government is like a house on Halloween that turns out the lights and leaves a bowl of candy on the front porch.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“There was a Columbus Day parade here in New York City. Columbus thought he landed in India. Instead he landed in the Bahamas. If he were alive today he’d be running an Italian cruise ship.” – David Letterman
People who point out the hypocrisy of Republicans:
are simply missing the point. To Republicans, politics is all out war. They do not care about the economy, or about privacy, the constitution, or even race. They just care about winning, and will use any weapon they can to win, even if it is racist, hypocritical, immoral, illegal, or even treasonous. They attack Obama for being black not because they are racist, but because it is a weapon they can use to fire up people who are racist.
Their biggest failure is that they keep believing their own PR. The GOP believed their own echo chamber and truly thought that Romney was going to easily win the presidential election, and that the American people hated Obamacare so much they would side with them on the shutdown. They also believe that Fox News is on their side, when Fox News (like them) is only concerned about winning for themselves. Fox has never hesitated to turn on the GOP if it makes them more money.
This is what happens when you base your world view on the fiction of Ayn Rand. It also explains why they are so hung up on the idea of “the 47%” being moochers — they can’t help but believe that everyone is as greedy as they are and acts only in their own financial self interest.
“Yesterday John Boehner led a group of 20 Republicans to see President Obama. Unfortunately when they got to the White House, the president was still black.” – Bill Maher
“People are actually getting very pissed off at this government shutdown. But Republicans say, ‘Remember one thing. We are standing up for an important principle, and as soon as we figure out what it is, you will be the first to know.'” – Bill Maher
“It is now day 11 of the government shutdown and we knew sooner or later something like this was going to happen. Despite the national parks being shut down, several men were severely mauled by bears yesterday. But enough about the New York Giants.” – Jay Leno
“Remember, the government shutdown isn’t bad for all. Salmonella is doing great.” – Bill Maher
“New Rule: If you get salmonella because of the government shutdown and die, then John Boehner has to come to your funeral. How can he resist? Funerals have the two things he loves the most: crying and an open bar.” – Bill Maher
“Nobody’s happy about the government shutdown. In fact, the Taliban just issued a statement where they criticized Congress for putting themselves before everyone else. You know things are bad when Americans are saying, ‘Yeah, gotta go with the Taliban on this one.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Republicans’ Thanksgiving is a little different; before eating they go around the table and everybody says what they’re hateful for.” – Bill Maher
“This NBC News poll has Republicans freaking out. They’re having what they call now a ‘boomerang effect’. Whatever Republicans were going against, Big Government and Obamacare, now is more popular than ever. I love the Tea Party, they are the ultimate beer goggles, they make everyone look better.” – Bill Maher
“Half the Republicans hate Ted Cruz real bad. In fact, Peter King said, ‘No one has done more to strengthen Obamacare than Ted Cruz. But the other half of the Republicans, the truly crazy ones, they loves themselves some Ted Cruz. He is the Tea Party’s dream candidate; he is a Sarah Palin that doesn’t lactate.” – Bill Maher
“Ted Cruz was speaking to the Value Voters Convention. Oh, it’s a great convention they have. It was him, Michele Bachmann, Glenn Beck, and Rick Santorum. The entrance was pretty spectacular; they all arrived in a short bus.” – Bill Maher
“There were some people heckling Ted Cruz, and he accused them of being paid political operatives helping President Obama. Ted, don’t you get it, you’re the paid political operative helping President Obama.” – Bill Maher
“If you’ve never seen ‘The Walking Dead,’ it’s basically a bunch of bloodthirsty zombies slowly devouring what’s left of America. No wait, that’s C-SPAN.” – Craig Ferguson
“There are these people they’re calling ‘debt ceiling deniers’ – Republicans who have decided that, unlike every economist on the entire planet, maybe defaulting on our debt would be a good thing. First they didn’t believe in evolution, then they didn’t believe in global warming, and now the debt ceiling; what I like to call the ‘moron trifecta’.” – Bill Maher
“Here’s the idea: Step 1, stop paying our bills. Step 2, everything’s fine. The last guy who tried this was Wesley Snipes.” – Bill Maher
“New Rule: I know we can’t establish a religious test for office, but if you believe we’re living in the End Times like Michele Bachmann does, we get to take away the car keys. Yes, let Jesus take the wheel. If you think the world is about to end, that’s your right, but you don’t get to vote on next year’s budget, because it doesn’t concern you.” – Bill Maher
“President Obama’s approval rating is down to 37 percent. Time to kill bin Laden again.” – David Letterman
“They passed out the Nobel Prizes. The Nobel Prize for lack of chemistry – that’s an interesting category – went to John Boehner and Barack Obama.” – David Letterman
“New Rule: Bill O’Reilly has to tell us why he’s always thinking about murder. Yes, since Obama was elected Bill O’Reilly has written three books about killing major historical figures. And Bill, I agree – how tragic that Kennedy, Lincoln and Jesus, these heroic, liberal, social reformers, had to die after being vilified by panicky, backwards-looking conservative blowhards. You surely did a great service pointing this out, and I look forward to your new children’s book… Killing the Cat in the Hat.” – Bill Maher
If we could convince all the Tea Party zealots into moving to the new Texas Republic, that would be even better!
© Clay Bennett
Commentators like to appear unbiased by declaring that our biggest problem is partisanship in Washington.
What a joke.
The problem is not partisanship. In fact, according to Jon Favreau, the problem isn’t even the partisans. It is not Democrats (including Obama), and it isn’t even Republicans. The problem is the Tea Party.
The Tea Party is the most destructive force in American politics today. Over the last few weeks, it has demonstrated again that its intent is not to shake up the establishment but to burn down the village.
Democrats and Republicans can argue all they want over the role of government, but we cannot allow the Tea Party to continue holding the country hostage over its kamikaze mission to destroy government. The vast majority of Americans reject that mission, and we’re not about to sacrifice ourselves or our democracy as collateral damage. It’s time for all of us to get together and fight the crazy.
The Tea Party has made itself wildly unpopular, and yet they still hold a ridiculous amount of power over the government. Let’s hope we remember this during the next election and use the vote to solve the problem.
Krystal Ball tells it like it is:
Why can’t the rest of the media explain it as simply and straightforwardly as this?
UPDATE: Apparently the American people agree. In a new poll, 54% think it is a bad thing that the GOP controls the House (compared to 38% who think it is a good thing). And 63% want John Boehner replaced as Speaker of the House (compared to 30% who think he should continue). Polls across the board show that Americans blame the Republicans for the shutdown.
So a question I’ve been asking myself is why did the Republicans fold on both the shutdown and the debt limit, without getting anything in return?
I think the answer, as usual, has to do with following the money. Campaign contributions to Tea Party members of the House of Representatives dropped significantly because of the shutdown. This happened mainly because corporations realized that the radical Republicans who forced the government to shut down are bad for business. Some business trade groups have even announced that they are looking at backing primary challengers to Tea Party incumbents.
Retailers are worried about the impact that repeated budget confrontations are having on consumer confidence going into the holiday retail season.
What’s truly ironic about this is that the business side of the Republican party has now turned against the Tea Party candidates that they helped elect. Amazingly enough, even the US Chamber of Commerce — which was a huge donor to Tea Party candidates — has announced that they need to “elect people who understand the free market and not silliness“. The fact that they caused this silliness seems lost on them.
Perhaps losing their source of funding will be the only thing that kills off the Tea Party cancer that is trying to destroy this nation.
UPDATE: The Chamber of Commerce CEO takes Ted Cruz to task, saying “Well I don’t know Sen. Cruz. I think of him as a tennis player. You know, if you’re going to rush the net all the time you better have a lot of motion to the left and the right. And he hasn’t proven that to me yet.” And when a reporter suggested that the business community wants Cruz to “sit down and shut up” he responded “Well that might be one thing we could work on.”
“Today was day 10 of the government shutdown. At what point do we politely ask Canada to govern us?” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Talking to reporters today about the shutdown, John Boehner said, ‘If ands or buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.’ You know, if they’d get off our butts and quit squeezing our nuts, we could enjoy Christmas.” – Jay Leno
“As far as negotiating with the president, John Boehner said, ‘I don’t want to put anything on the table and I don’t want to take anything off the table.’ Of course not — like most congressmen they like to do business UNDER the table.” – Jay Leno
“[Michelle Bachmann] is a true conservative with a vision of our country’s future, or possibly of a coat rack or a bird. I could never tell what she was looking at.” – Stephen Colbert
“The Nobel Prize for chemistry was announced this week. It was awarded to Senator Ted Cruz for mixing up that batch of Kool-Aid that the Republicans seem to be drinking on Capitol Hill.” – Jay Leno
“There’s a new restaurant in New York that doesn’t let customers talk to each other during their meals. When they heard that, Obama and Republicans said, ‘Table for 200 please?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“A lot of things are shut down. The CDC, the Centers for Disease Control, is shut down. That means they might have to cancel flu season this year.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“National parks are shut down. NASA is shut down. There is one government building still open. That is the congressional gym – the exclusive gym where congressmen work out. But the gym is not fully operational because towel service is no longer available due to the shutdown. So, everyone is suffering.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“It’s gotten too bad that after years of sliding poll numbers, now the approval ratings of Congress has hit a record low of just 5 percent. There are a lot of pressing questions, namely, who’s in the five percent that still approves of Congress?” – Jimmy Fallon
“Georgia Republican Congressman Phil Gingrey said it’s time for his party to have a ‘Braveheart’ moment for the American people. Really? This whole government shutdown feels like another Mel Gibson movie: ‘Ransom’.” – Jay Leno
“China issued a warning because we owe them $1.3 trillion. If we default, they have threatened to cut off our supply of cheap plastic crap made by kids.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It’s a devious con that can only be described as insurance.” – Stephen Colbert
“The other day California’s health insurance exchange said that over 5 million people went to their website on the first day of Obamacare. It turns out they were off by 4.4 million. It got only 645,000 hits. It turns out those were from the same guy just trying to log on over and over.” – Jay Leno
Eric Stern wondered if the accusations by Fox News that Obamacare is a “train wreck” have any basis in reality. So he was very interested when Sean Hannity last week had three couples on his show, each of which had an Obamacare “horror story” to tell.
But their stories often didn’t make sense, so he decided to check them out. Stern knows quite a bit about the Affordable Care Act. He even worked as a senior advisor to a governor to help him deal with the new rules brought about by the law.
Stern actually tracked down all three couples who appeared on the show and talked to them to see what was going on. Unsurprisingly, all three couples had a strong dislike for Obamacare. But as he found out, none of this dislike has much to do with any actual experiences.
One couple runs a construction company, and claimed that Obamacare was hurting his business. But Stern found out that their construction business only has four employees, and Obamacare doesn’t affect businesses with fewer than 50 employees (other than to require them to tell their employees about the healthcare.gov website).
Another couple is currently paying around $13,200 a year for a health insurance policy that doesn’t even cover one of their children because of a preexisting condition. Had they looked up how much a new policy would cost them? No they hadn’t. So Stern looked it up, and found that under Obamacare they could get a better policy that would cover all their children for only $7,600 a year.
The third couple was told that their new Obamacare-compliant policy would cost them 50 to 75% more than their current policy. Who told them that? Their insurance company agent! They would not look it up on the government website because they hate Obamacare and want nothing to do with it. So Stern looked it up for them and found that they could get a similar plan for 63% less than they are currently paying.
These are Hannity’s best examples of Obamacare train wrecks?
“It’s day nine of the government shutdown. Are you like me? Are you beginning to miss the days when we were ruled by a mad English king?” – David Letterman
“They said today that the government shutdown will not interfere with NASA’s next mission to Mars. Isn’t that ironic? We can go to Mars but we can’t go to the Statue of Liberty.” – Jay Leno
“Americans adults scored below the national average on math, reading and problem-solving skills. Do we need a test to know that we’re not good at problem-solving. Can’t we look at these morons in Washington and the shutdown and figure that out?” – Jay Leno
“What’s the difference between the government and Motel 6? Motel 6 can afford to keep the lights on.” – Jay Leno
“This shutdown is so bad, Harry Reid was forced to take a part-time job as an extra on The Walking Dead.” – Jay Leno
“During a press conference yesterday, President Obama said that Congress needs to raise the debt ceiling because there aren’t any other quote ‘rabbits in our hat’. Plus, they’re still tired from their last trick, where they made thousands of jobs disappear.” – Jimmy Fallon
“21 states have legalized marijuana for medical purposes and just last year it was made legal for recreational purposes in Colorado and Washington state. Or should I say Cheech-Orado and Washing-Chong.” – Stephen Colbert
“At Starbucks you can now pick up something called a duffin. A duffin is a combination of a doughnut and a muffin. I have an idea for Starbucks: cheap coffee – ‘Choffee.’ Governor Chris Christie said: ‘Big deal, call me when Starbucks is combining cake and pie.'” – David Letterman
“Yesterday, Iran’s President Hassan Rouhani said he wants the Iranian people to stop chanting ‘Death to America’ because he thinks it’s too harsh of a statement. Then the Iranian people were like, ‘Paper cuts to America?” – Jimmy Fallon
Ted Cruz seems to think that the government shutdown was “a remarkable victory” and when the shutdown ended, he claimed “The American people rose up and spoke with an overwhelming voice and at least at this stage Washington isn’t listening to them”. But fully 70% of Americans think that Republican politicians put politics ahead of their country, and the shutdown actually improved the popularity of Obamacare.
So who isn’t listening?
The shutdown was a complete disaster for the Republican Party. As one pollster put it “If it were not so bad for the country, the results could almost make a Democrat smile. These numbers lead to one inescapable conclusion: The Republicans are not tone deaf; they are stone deaf.”
“Look, you think Obamacare’s a big enough threat to this country that you need to shut down the government over it, fine. Own it. Don’t fart and point at the dog.” – Jon Stewart (on Republicans trying to shift the blame to Obama for the government shutdown despite claiming to be “the party of personal responsibility”)
“We just hit 190 hours of the government shutdown. If this were a ‘Lord of the Rings’ movie, we’d be almost halfway through.” – Craig Ferguson
“Today is the eighth day of the government shutdown with no end in sight. A small group of Republicans are refusing to allow the vote. President Obama called to reiterate that there will be no budge in budget.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Despite the shutdown, the congressional gym in Washington, D.C., remains open. The congressional gym is like any other gym except the customers are the dumbbells.” – Craig Ferguson
“Under a law that dates back to the 1960s, the Amish are exempt from most federal safety-net programs, and that includes Obamacare. Amish communities actually insure themselves, which is good. I depend on those people who make my gooseberry jam.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“A government default could bring stability to world markets. Just like if you cut off both of your legs it brings stability to your torso because it lowers your center of gravity.” – Stephen Colbert
“This week China warned the U.S. that not raising the debt ceiling will hurt the Chinese economy. Then the U.S. said, ‘No worries – we’ll just loan you some of your money’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama said he thinks the Washington Redskins should consider changing their name. He didn’t stop there. He also said the New York Giants should consider changing their sport.” – Jay Leno
[better joke: The Washington Redskins have decided to drop the word “Washington” from their name because it is too embarrassing. – iron]
“California Governor Jerry Brown signed a bill that allows illegals in California to practice law. You thought a lot of Americans wanted to close the border before? Wait until lawyers start sneaking across.” – Jay Leno
“Syrian dictator Assad says he may run for re-election next year. In fact, today he went over the results of next year’s election and he said it looks pretty good.” – Jay Leno
“Circulation of newspapers has fallen to all-time lows. They say newspapers are becoming obsolete. I’ll tell you how bad it’s gotten. Today I saw a homeless guy sleeping on a park bench with an iPad on his face.” – Jay Leno
“The rules are I go first, and I refuse to take my turn. And you can’t take yours until I’m done. I know you’re upset, but we’re both at fault here, so let’s negotiate. I agree to take my turn if you agree that I win.” – Stephen Colbert (explaining the GOP shutdown strategy)
“Every one of those offers is a compromise from the Republicans’ original offer: having Mitt Romney be president. But – surprise, surprise – Obama wouldn’t negotiate on that, either.” – Stephen Colbert (on Republican claims that they are willing to compromise)
“House Speaker John Boehner said he stayed by the phone all weekend waiting for the president, but he never called. What do you mean stayed by the phone? What is this, 1965? The cellphone hasn’t been invented?” – Jay Leno
“The government has been shut down for a whole week. If it were a Kardashian marriage, it would be over by now.” – Craig Ferguson
“Joe Biden had to cancel his appearance at a Democratic fundraiser tonight because of the government shutdown. And it got awkward when they announced that Biden wasn’t coming and raised twice as much money.” – Jimmy Fallon
“In Philadelphia, a historic tavern – a tavern that was frequented by our Founding Fathers — has closed because of the shutdown. It opened in 1773. In fact, this iconic watering hole was once the scene of a legendary brawl between Benjamin Franklin and John McCain.” – Jay Leno
“A new survey found that 9 percent of Americans have considered giving up their U.S. citizenship because of the constant arguing in Washington. Today, even Obama was like, ‘Are you SURE I wasn’t born in Kenya?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“According to Pew Research, immigration is on the rise in this country. As you know, immigrants come here to do the jobs Americans don’t want to do – like running the government.” – Jay Leno
“Nine percent of Americans would give up their citizenship because of all the fighting in D.C. You know things are bad when people getting caught at the Mexican border are being sent back to America.” – Jimmy Fallon
“A man in Montana’s dog ate five $100 bills he had lying on the dresser. The guy collected his dog’s droppings in the yard, took out the pieces of the bill, sent them to the Treasury Department with a note, and the Treasury sent him a check for $500. Isn’t that refreshing, to see Washington paying for crap from us rather than the other way around?” – Jay Leno
“Germany just unveiled its rainbow-colored Olympic uniforms, which seem to be a subtle protest against Russia’s anti-gay laws. You can tell how much the world has changed when Germans are the ones who are saying, ‘Discrimination is just wrong’.” – Jimmy Fallon
One of my favorite pieces of advice is that you should never, ever believe your own PR. Somebody needs to tell the GOP. They invented the Tea Party, funded it, and praised it, in order to use it as a weapon against the Democrats. But as the CIA knows all too well, blowback really sucks, doesn’t it? Funding the Tea Party is almost as crazy as giving weapons to Al Qaeda so they can fight the Russians.
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