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It’s Alive!

Zack Weinersmith

Zack Weinersmith
© Zack Weinersmith

Ever get the feeling that the echo chamber has taken on a life of its own, and doesn’t reflect the opinions of any real people? Back in 1964, Marshall McLuhan said, “The medium is the message”. It is even more true today.

McLuhan believed that a medium itself shapes and controls “the scale and form of human association and action”. Sound familiar?

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Late Night Political Humor

“A new Republican Congress is taking over. Sen. Ted Cruz has been appointed to overseeing NASA in Congress. He says he wants NASA to focus on finding aliens so he can deport them.” – Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney is reportedly putting his 2012 election team back together. And somehow, miraculously, none of them were busy with other stuff.” – Seth Meyers

“Days after Mitt Romney announced he is considering a 2016 presidential campaign, his former running mate Paul Ryan announced that he will not run. Ryan won’t say who he’ll support. He just wants the best man for the Jeb … Job, I mean job.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Paul Ryan announced that after a lot of thought, and talking it over with family and friends, that he is not going to run for president in 2016. I’m telling you, this announcement sent shock waves through no one.” – David Letterman

“Republican Mike Huckabee criticized the Obamas for letting their daughters listen to Beyoncé, due to her explicit lyrics. So now the Obama girls are faced with the tough choice every teen must eventually make — listen to Beyoncé or Mike Huckabee.” – Conan O’Brien

“A congressman from Texas sent out a tweet comparing President Obama to Hitler. That is ridiculous because at this point in his career Hitler had a much higher approval rating.” – Conan O’Brien

“Fidel Castro, who hasn’t been publicly seen for more than a year, wrote a personal letter referencing current events to prove he is still alive. And nothing says ‘I’m alive in 2015’ like writing a letter.” – Seth Meyers

“Fifteen states across the country have gas prices that have dipped below $2. That means it’s now cheaper to buy a gallon of liquefied dinosaurs than one cup of coffee at Starbucks.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Congratulations to Ohio State, your new college football champions. Coach Urban Meyer may be the greatest football coach of all time. Don’t confuse him with New York Mayor Bill de Blasio. That’s urban quagmire.” – David Letterman

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The Last Laugh

The Charlie Hebdo killing was a tragedy, but it was also full of irony and was a stunning source of satire. In honor of that, I give Tom Tomorrow the last word. Over and Out:

Tom Tomorrow
© Tom Tomorrow

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Late Night Political Humor

“Mitt Romney said he is considering a third presidential bid. Romney said he got the idea from watching his dog repeatedly run into an electric fence.” – Seth Meyers

“Mitt Romney says he is considering a third campaign for the presidency. He made the announcement during a private meeting with donors. It’s pretty shocking, you know, that Mitt Romney needs donors. I mean, what are these guys, trillionaires?” – Jimmy Fallon

“The film ‘Boyhood’ won the Golden Globe for best drama. It follows one guy’s journey over the course of 12 years — or as Mitt Romney calls that, ‘running for president’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump said he is thinking very seriously about a 2016 presidential campaign. You can tell he’s serious. Today I saw him shaking hands and firing babies.” – Jimmy Fallon

“A Saudi-Arabian prince has said that oil may never again rise above $100 a barrel. He said it’s gotten so bad he can’t afford to buy his wife her own car that she’s not allowed to drive.” – Conan O’Brien

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Death and Money

Ted Rall
© Ted Rall

The weekly circulation of Charlie Hebdo is normally around 60,000. But in the aftermath of the death of 17 people, sales have topped 5 million copies.

I’m not really sure what to say about that, but you gotta admit it is ironic.

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Happy MLK Jr. Day!

Joel Pett
© Joel Pett

Today is the day to remember that one person can make a difference. Even one person who was persecuted, spied on, and eventually assassinated. One person who was not perfect, but who fought for a cause.

We live in a world that is not just 24/7 information, but information that is supplied with a commercial agenda – to make money. The result is news that appeals to our base emotions. Full of violence and death. We are genetically programmed to pay attention to things that can harm us, and cable news is only too happy to feed that need.

In reality, the world is a pretty wonderful place, full of fascinating people and magnificent places. Stop looking at the world through someone else’s lens (especially a corporate lens). Get out there. Travel. Go to places that are out of your comfort zone, that are so different from your normal life that you will end each vacation a changed person. Some of those places may be just a few blocks from your home, but all of them will require effort to fully see.

Find good causes and fight for them. There are lots of them out there. Find one you can care about.

Live.

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Late Night Political Humor

“President Obama posted a video on Facebook yesterday announcing his plan to make the first two years of community college free. Unfortunately he was interrupted when Biden got confused and threw a bucket of ice water on his head.” – Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama has issued three veto threats in just two days. Meanwhile, Chris Christie has threatened four Vitos, two Charlies, and a Doug.” – Seth Meyers

“Hillary Clinton is the leading presidential contender for the Democrats. Former Clinton aide John Podesta said Hillary will highlight her differences with President Obama if she runs. The biggest difference: Hillary is still interested in being president.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Potential presidential candidate Jeb Bush will release a decade’s worth of tax returns to avoid comparisons to Mitt Romney. Yeah, they’re nothing alike. They’re just both former governors from wealthy families whose parents gave them super-weird names.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Former Arkansas governor and potential 2016 candidate Mike Huckabee is releasing his 12th book later this month called, ‘God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy.’ The craziest part: that’s just his favorite aisle at Walmart.” – Jimmy Fallon

“California’s 74-year-old Senator Barbara Boxer announced she will not run for re-election in 2016. When I saw the headline ’74-Year-Old Boxer’, I assumed they were making another ‘Rocky’ movie.” – Conan O’Brien

“Today, Angelina Jolie met with Pope Francis at the Vatican. Long story short: She adopted him.” – Conan O’Brien

“Today is the birthday of Elvis Presley and dictator Kim Jong Un. Elvis would’ve been 80 today. Kim Jong Un is either 32 or 33. They actually aren’t sure. North Korean scholars agree that when he entered the world a silver eagle ascended and promised 1,000 years of prosperity for his people. That should kick in any day now.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He gathered family and friends together and celebrated by executing a few close friends.” – David Letterman

“Last year Kim Jong Un had Dennis Rodman on hand to sing to him. This year he had a low-key celebration. He spent the day at home reading Sony’s emails. ” – Jimmy Kimmel

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Wage Stag Nation

Another ironic situation is shaping up.

In the Daily Beast, Michael Tomasky points out that Republicans have started talking about stagnant wages as a way to attack Obama.

For example, John Boehner, upon being reelected (barely) as Speaker of the House, spoke on the House floor:

In recent months our economy has showed signs of improvement. After difficult years it may be a temptation to accept what I would call the new normal. But … far too many Americans remain out of work and too many are working harder only to lose ground to stagnant wages and rising costs. We can do better. We can build an economy that furthers better-paying jobs, more growth and more opportunity for the middle class. This is our vital task.

And it is true that the fact that wages have not increased significantly is the worst part of not just the current economic recovery, but of the last 30 years or more.

Since 1979, worker productivity in the US has increased by 80%. And (as a result) the income of the top 1% has increased a stunning 240%. Yet the wages of an average American has gone up less than 8%, adjusted for inflation. That’s bad news, because a thriving middle class is a large part of what drives our economy, and in the US the middle class is going nowhere, despite working harder and better.

Hypocritically, most of this was by design – it was the heart of “Trickle Down Economics”. The idea that if we gave huge tax breaks to the wealthy, jobs and money would trickle down to the middle class. So we handed out tax breaks to the wealthy like they were candy. How did that work out?

It is going to be interesting to see how the GOP pins this problem on Obama.

Especially after the announcement that Obama is going to use the State of the Union speech to propose closing huge tax loopholes for the wealthiest while offering new tax breaks for the middle class (and simultaneously reducing the deficit).

Will Republicans flip-flop and turn against the middle class again? Will they have to in order to remain the Party of No, opposing everything Obama proposes (even things they came up with in the first place, like Romneycare?) Can a leopard change its spots?

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Seizing the Moment!

Finally! Attorney General Eric Holder today barred police from using Federal civil asset forfeiture laws without warrants or criminal charges. The laws were originally passed as part of the (failed) war on drugs (to confiscate money made in the drug trade, but quickly turned into a money-making operation for local police departments.

Over 55,000 seizures totaling $3 billion in cash and other property have been made. Often property was forfeited even if there was not enough evidence to charge anyone with a crime, and encouraged police to concentrate on otherwise low-priority crimes where they could profit as much as possible. Civil forfeiture was also used disproportionately against minorities, who could not afford to hire lawyers required to get their property back.

The new policy has limited exceptions for illegal firearms, ammunition, explosives, and property associated with child pornography.

I’ve posted before about these crazy laws, which turn our system of justice on its head, and are clearly unconstitutional, depriving citizens of property without any due process of law.

Civil asset forfeiture is institutionalized corruption, and I’m very happy that the Obama administration is taking steps to shut down its abuse.

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Late Night Political Humor

“President Obama met with the president of Mexico. When asked what it’s like to govern 100 million Mexican people, Obama said, ‘It can be challenging.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Some more news out of Washington. During a recent interview, a White House adviser said Joe Biden is the reason President Obama got elected both times. Then he said, ‘He’s also the reason we got banned from Applebee’s.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Here in New York City, it’s cold. It’s so cold the Republicans want to use the Keystone Pipeline to deliver soup.” – David Letterman

“Congrats to former President George H.W. Bush and his wife Barbara, who celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary yesterday, and it’s actually the longest presidential marriage since John Adams. Or as Barbara calls Adams, ‘my first love’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Some areas near Dallas experienced a 3.5-magnitude earthquake, which some blame on fracking. However, scientists say that it was more likely aftershocks from Chris Christie celebrating at the Cowboys game.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here’s the bad news. You just wasted it listening to this joke.” – Conan O’Brien

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Cartoons Against Terrorism

Tom Tomorrow
© Tom Tomorrow

The Nib has a special series of responses to the Charlie Hebdo massacre from other cartoonists. This includes a particularly powerful piece from a Muslim cartoonist. But all of them are short and well worth a read.

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Late Night Political Humor – Charlie Hebdo

“This is really hard to do but I’d like to change the tone now and briefly mention today’s terrible tragedy in France. Twelve people were killed because a satirical newspaper made jokes that some group found offensive. All of us are accustomed to bad news from around the world. But this story hits home for anybody who mocks anyone.” – Conan O’Brien

“Our hearts are with the staff of Charlie Hebdo and their families tonight. I know very few people go into comedy as an act of courage, mainly because it shouldn’t have to be that, it shouldn’t be an act of courage, it should be taken as established law. But those guys at Hebdo had it, and they were killed for their cartoons. For however frustrated or outraged back and forth conversation can become, it’s still back and forth conversation amongst those on … let’s call it team civilization. And this type of violence only clarifies that reality. Of course, of course, our goal tonight … is to not make sense of this, because there is no sense to be made of this. Our goal, as it is always, is to keep going, keep calm and carry on, or whatever version of that saying is in your dorm room.” – Jon Stewart

“Today’s tragedy in Paris reminds us very viscerally that it’s a right that some people are inexplicably forced to die for. So it’s very important tonight that I express that everybody who works at our comedy show, all of us are terribly sad for the families and people of France and anybody in the world tonight who now has to think twice before making a joke. It’s not the way it’s supposed to be.” – Conan O’Brien

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Satire Strikes Back!

How do you fight against powerful religion-based terrorist networks like ISIS? By using satire and humor! CBS News reports that “television networks across the Middle East have begun airing cartoons and comedy programs using satire to criticize the group and its claims of representing Islam.”

A producer and writer of a show that mocks ISIS says:

These people are not a true representation of Islam and so by mocking them, it is a way to show that we are against them. Of course it’s a sensitive issue, but this is one way to reject extremism and make it so the people are not afraid.

For example, in one episode of the show:

A taxi driver picks up a jihadi who rejects listening to radio because it didn’t exist in the earliest days of Islam, a knock on the ISIS’ literal take on the Quran. The driver offers to turn on the air conditioning, but that too is rejected. The jihadi finally criticizes him for answering a mobile phone.

Fed up, the driver asks: “Were there taxi cabs in the earliest days?”

“No, 1,000 times no!” the passenger answers. The driver responds by kicking out the jihadi and telling him to wait for a camel instead.

Even the videos of mass executions released by ISIS are fodder for comedy and satire:

Palestinian television channel al-Falastiniya aired a skit showing two militants shoot Muslim civilians for their lack of knowledge on the number of times to kneel during prayers, all the while reminiscing over the beautiful women and best party neighborhoods they’d visited in Beirut.

When a Jordanian Christian approaches, the two militants begin fighting each other over who gets to shoot him – each wanting the “blessing” for himself. Terrified, the man suffers a fatal heart attack, leaving the militants devastated.

Satire has long been used in Arab culture, all the way back to their ancient poetry. Laughter and mockery are a powerful weapon against terror.

Arabic TV is also using the format of reality shows to fight against terrorism. An Iraqi show “In the Grip of the Law” forces convicted terrorists to face their victims. From one recent show:

Haider Ali Motar was convicted of terrorism charges about a month ago for helping to carry out a string of Baghdad car bombings on behalf of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) extremist group. … On a chilly, overcast day last week, the crew arrived at the scene of one of the attacks for which Motar was convicted, with a heavily armed escort in eight military pick-up trucks and Humvees.

After being pulled from an armored vehicle, a shackled Motar found himself face-to-face with the seething relatives of the victims of the attack. … When Motar was confronted by one of the victims, a young man in a wheelchair who lost his father in one of the attacks, the convict began weeping, as the cameras rolled.

The show is very popular:

We are at war on terrorism, and this programme is one of our psychological tools to fight the terrorists. Most people have a curiosity to know how those [militants] are thinking, who are they, what are their scientific, cultural and social backgrounds, so we are focusing on these points to break their morale.

Many of these terrorists feel a lot of remorse when they see the victims. When people see that, it makes them think twice about crossing the law.

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F off!

The mayor of Rotterdam (in the Netherlands) is Muslim (born in Morocco). Speaking on live TV just hours after the attack on Charlie Hebdo, Mayor Aboutaleb said to Islamists:

It is incomprehensible that you can turn against freedom… But if you don’t like freedom, for heaven’s sake pack your bags and leave. There may be a place in the world where you can be yourself, be honest with yourself and do not go and kill innocent journalists. And if you do not like it here because humorists you do not like make a newspaper, may I then say you can fuck off.

This is stupid, this so incomprehensible. Vanish from the Netherlands if you cannot find your place here. All those well-meaning Muslims here will now be stared at.

Aboutaleb became angry by the failure of some Muslims to adapt to their new homes, as he has done.

This isn’t the first time he has expressed such sentiments. In 2004, Aboutaleb said that if Muslims didn’t subscribe to Dutch values, they should “catch the first plane out”.

Good for him.

And yes, I really am quoting a story from Breitbart.

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Late Night Political Humor

“The newly elected congressmen and women from the midterm elections were sworn in today. This Congress will be the most diverse ever, with 104 women, 46 blacks, 12 Asian-Americans, and two Native Americans. Even the dolls on the ‘It’s a Small World’ Disney ride said, ‘Not bad’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“That’s right, 104 female lawmakers. In other words, there’s going to be a lot of filibusters that go like this: ‘You know what you did.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“A total of 71 lawmakers in the new Congress are freshmen. Their parents helped them move in over the weekend.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“We have a new and now Republican-controlled Congress starting today. The 114th Congress convened today in our nation’s capital. I thought Congress got canceled after last season. Their ratings were terrible.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Congress has an approval rating that’s very, very low. Their approval rating is 15 percent. You know you’re in trouble when people like you less than they like Jennifer Lopez movies.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Today was opening day for the new Congress in Washington. And Vice President Joe Biden swore in the new batch of White House fence jumpers.” – David Letterman

“A Miami judge issued Florida’s first gay marriage license yesterday, which makes it the 36th state to legally perform gay marriages. Of course, most Florida residents are too old to understand what that means. They’ll say, ‘Well, I think all marriages should be gay, and merry.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“A new study has found that watching Fox News can make you more conservative and watching MSNBC can make you more liberal. And watching CNN can make you think that no plane has ever safely reached its destination.” – Conan O’Brien

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