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Kansas Trickles Down

Under the “leadership” of conservative governor Sam “trickle down economics” Brownback – who instituted massive tax and spending cuts and promised “enormous prosperity” – Kansas has instead gone to hell in a handbasket.

Now, things are getting even worse there. The state is completely controlled by Republicans, but they don’t seem to be able to govern themselves out of a paper bag (even one filled with money supplied by the billionaire Koch brothers, whose headquarters is in Topeka).

Facing a huge $400 million budget deficit that they have to fix (states cannot run a deficit as they don’t print money), the legislature is in their ninth day of overtime trying to fix the problem without raising taxes. For his part, Brownback announced he would unveil a tax plan that does the unthinkable and raises taxes, but a half hour later canceled those plans amid chaos and infighting in the legislature. After that, the best the legislature could do was a band-aid; a bill that raises a paltry $30 million in revenue by granting amnesty to people who owe back taxes (was their slogan “amnesty for tax scofflaws, but none for illegal immigrants”?).

After that, the Republican chairman of the Senate taxation committee offered to resign, saying “Nobody has an idea of what the heck they want to do this year.”

This is what happens when ideologues come up against the real world. Trickle-down economics (now called “austerity”) doesn’t work and never will. At the other end of the spectrum, pure socialism didn’t work either and has largely collapsed. When will we figure out how to travel in the middle of the road, without wild swings to the right or left?

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Late Night Political Humor

“George W. Bush gave a commencement speech at Southern Methodist University this weekend. It was pretty inspirational. He said, ‘As I like to tell the ‘C’ students, you too can be president.’ Even George W. Bush has George W. Bush comedy material in his act.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Lindsey Graham is now the seventh Republican running for president. If you’re keeping score, that’s basically one Republican candidate for every two Republican voters.” – Conan O’Brien

“Jeb Bush said recently that he believes apps on the Apple Watch could help Americans better manage their healthcare than Obamacare. So there you go. If you can’t afford healthcare, just buy yourself an Apple Watch.” – Seth Meyers

“I can’t wait for the Republican debates to start and there’s literally 65 guys on one stage.” – Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential hopeful, boxed former heavyweight champion of the world Evander Holyfield for charity. It was a horrible moment when Romney bit off Holyfield’s other ear. ” – David Letterman

“During a charity boxing match on Friday, Mitt Romney lasted two rounds against Evander Holyfield and raised a million dollars. It was just like Holyfield’s fight with Mike Tyson, except Romney chewed off his other ear talking about his 18 grandchildren.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Holyfield won the fight. It’s not the first time Romney has been knocked out by a black guy.” – David Letterman

“That’s right, Mitt Romney took on Evander Holyfield in a boxing match for charity, and it was a pretty one-sided fight. But it was still not the worst boxing match we’ve seen this month. … This weekend Vladimir Putin played in an exhibition hockey game with some former NHL players and scored eight goals. Even Evander Holyfield and Mitt Romney said, ‘That looks fake.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Vladimir Putin reportedly scored eight goals during a hockey game in Sochi this weekend. And the goalie only had one save: his own life.” – Seth Meyers

“Over the weekend, Vladimir Putin scored eight goals during a hockey game. It happened just after he had the goalie executed.” – Conan O’Brien

“President Obama joined Twitter today with a tweet that began ‘Hello, Twitter!’ His bio says, ‘Dad, husband, and president of the United States.’ He didn’t have to say ‘Dad’. We got that when he tweeted ‘Hello, Twitter!'” – Seth Meyers

“Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that’s me. I’m sorry, that’s me.” – David Letterman

“Tonight I will be talking with Tom Hanks. Next week I’ll be at the post office talking with the clerk.” – David Letterman

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Conservative Estimates are Down

Do Republicans not believe in evolution because they don’t know how to evolve along with American attitudes?

Since 1999, Gallup has been tracking the ideology of Americans, asking them whether they consider themselves socially conservative or socially liberal. This year, for the very first time, the same number of people identified as socially liberal as socially conservative.

The same poll also asks people whether they consider themselves fiscal conservatives or fiscal liberals, and while there are still more fiscal conservatives, the gap has been slowly shrinking and is the smallest since the poll began.

Meanwhile, there are no Republican presidential candidates who would (or could) describe themselves as liberal. In fact, there aren’t any who could call themselves social moderates, which is ironic since the country is exactly split between social conservatives and social liberals. But Republicans are still fighting tooth and nail for the right of social conservatives to discriminate against gays. Get over it!

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The Low Cost of Obamacare

Forget about “Death Panels” (even though it was PolitiFact’s Lie of the Year). The most pervasive lie about Obamacare is that the ACA costs more than what was estimated.

How pervasive? A recent poll shows that a plurality of Americans (42%) believe that Obamacare has cost “more than expected”. Only 10% think it cost “about what was expected” and half that (5%) think it cost “less than what was expected”. That’s right, only 5% knew the right answer. In fact, the cost of the ACA has dropped five times in five years. Twice in the past year alone, the Congressional Budget Office has revised its estimated spending on the Affordable Care Act downward.

How can that be? After all the ACA provides generous subsidies for individuals purchasing health insurance and expanded Medicaid dramatically. Shouldn’t that cost a lot of money?

There are two reasons why Obamacare is costing far less than expected. First the good news — health care costs are growing at a far lower rate than they were before the ACA passed in 2009.

Second (and not as good news), fewer people are participating in Medicaid expansion than expected. This was mostly caused by the Supreme Court ruling that made it possible for states to opt out of Medicaid expansion. And 22 states did opt out (not surprisingly, all of them controlled by Republicans). This saved the federal government money.

To give you an idea of how much the feds are saving on health care costs, the government is spending less on health care now than it predicted in early 2010, and those predictions did not include any spending for Obamacare! And the reduction in health care costs are also reducing what the government is spending on Medicare. So it is fantastic that the ACA’s massive expansion in the number of people receiving health insurance can also result in a massive saving of money.

The only problem is that almost nobody knows the truth. Must be that damn Liberal media!

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Late Night Political Humor

“It’s Friday. That’s one reason to celebrate. Also, it’s the first day in a long time when no one declared they’re running for president.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Former New York Governor George Pataki may enter the race for president. It’s not definite, but he tweeted that he’ll announce his 2016 plans on May 28 in New Hampshire. Well, what’s he gonna do, go to New Hampshire to say he’s NOT running? That’s like getting down on one knee and saying, ‘I think it’s time to see other people.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“During a recent event at a restaurant called Tommy’s Country Ham House in South Carolina, presidential candidate Ben Carson delivered a speech right after he lost his front tooth. Which still left him with more teeth than everyone combined at Tommy’s Country Ham House.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Ben Carson actually lost a tooth. Which explains why he said that under his leadership, Americans would be entitled to ‘life, liberty, and the purthuit of happineth.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“The new ‘Mad Max’ movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic world. I have a small part in ‘Mad Max.’ I play the old geezer who remembers what steak tasted like.” – David Letterman

“I already have an idea. I’m going to start a line of salad dressing, and it will be just like Paul Newman’s salad dressing but instead of the profits going to charity the way Paul Newman’s profits go to charity, my profits won’t.” – David Letterman

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The High Cost of Fossil Fuels

The International Monetary Fund (IMF) has released a working paper that attempts to quantify the total cost of subsidies we pay for fossil fuels. This includes not just direct payments and tax breaks for energy companies, but also the cost of “externalities” like cleaning up after oil spills and health costs directly attributable to the use of fossil fuels (costs that are borne by us all).

The number they came up with is an astonishing annual cost of $5.6 trillion. Which is more than 7% of the Gross World Product. That is a lot of money.

Republicans like to complain about the high costs of switching away from fossil fuels, but they ignore the even higher costs of continuing to use them. And of course there are other benefits to reducing our subsidies to energy companies. According to the research:

Eliminating post-tax subsidies in 2015 could raise government revenue by $2.9 trillion (3.6 percent of global GDP), cut global CO₂ emissions by more than 20 percent, and cut pre-mature air pollution deaths by more than half. After allowing for the higher energy costs faced by consumers, this action would raise global economic welfare by $1.8 trillion (2.2 percent of global GDP).

That’s right, eliminating the use of fossil fuels would save us a bunch of money, and also save 3.2 million lives every year. Indeed, it seems like the only losers would be the politicians who would stop receiving huge campaign contributions from the corporations that benefit from energy subsidies.

Republicans also claim that it doesn’t make sense for the US to take unilateral action until other countries get on board. But the paper specifically states that the local benefits from ending subsidies are high enough that they should be eliminated even in the absence of action in other countries. Again, according to the research:

An important point, therefore, is that most (over three-fourths) of the underpricing of energy is due to domestic distortions – pre-tax subsidies and domestic externalities – rather than to global distortions (climate change). The crucial implication of this is that energy pricing reform is largely in countries’ own domestic interest and therefore is beneficial even in the absence of globally coordinated action.

Ironically, the most subsidized fossil fuel is not oil, it is coal (both because of its high environmental damages and because unlike road fuels, no country imposes meaningful excise taxes on its consumption). Coal subsidies alone account for almost 4% of the Gross World Product (around $3.2 trillion annually).

So the next time conservatives say they are in favor of free markets, we should ask them when we are going to have a real free market for fossil fuels, rather than “the government picking winners and losers” through massive energy subsidies.

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Late Night Political Letterman

In honor of the retirement of David Letterman after more than three decades hosting his late night talk show, The Hill published a list of the “top 10” times that Letterman made a significant impact on politics. Here are the first three:

  1. When John McCain suspended his presidential campaign because of the financial crisis, he also cancelled a scheduled appearance on Letterman’s show, and instead gave a live interview with Katie Couric (just down the hall). Letterman blasted McCain for nine minutes, questioning his temperament in a time of crisis. McCain did appear on the show a month later and admitted “I screwed up”.
  2. After 9/11, Letterman was the first late night show to return to the air, poignantly saying “If you didn’t believe it before, you can absolutely believe it now. New York City is the greatest city in the world.”
  3. Letterman teased Dan Quayle mercilessly during the 1988 presidential election, even saying that Quayle might someday make a great president because he “would not seem like a brainy egghead when visiting the nation’s injured professional wrestlers”.

But my personal favorite is when he called Bill O’Reilly (to his face) a “goon” and accused the Fox News anchor of playing the part of a conservative and not actually believing the things he reported as news.

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The Rape of Logic

Jen Sorensen
© Jen Sorensen

Even many people who are “pro-life” carve out exceptions for rape and incest, not to mention if the health of the mother is threatened. But not the Helms Act, which makes no exceptions.

And that’s what leads to this incredibly stupid situation.

We condemn radical Islamists because some of them treat women badly, but what does this situation with Boko Haram say about us?

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Late Night Political Humor

“By accident Jeb Bush announced that he was running for president. And then he said, ‘No, not yet. OK, I made a mistake.’ And then later in the day, by accident, he called Hillary and congratulated her. ” – David Letterman

“Hillary Clinton’s younger brother Tony is facing criticism for using the Clintons’ political connections to help his career. So on the down side, she has a sketchy brother named Tony. On the up side, she just locked up every vote in New Jersey.” – Jimmy Fallon

“It turns out Hillary’s brother could damage her campaign. But then Jeb Bush said, ‘I think we all get a pass on who our brothers are.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Tomorrow, Mitt Romney will have a boxing match with Evander Holyfield for charity. And I suspect that’s what Romney will be yelling the whole time. ‘For charity, Evander!'” – Seth Meyers

“Mitt Romney will box Evander Holyfield tomorrow. So finally, someone can honestly say ‘Mitt, I think you should run.'” – Seth Meyers

“They’re making a movie about Barack and Michelle Obama’s first date, called ‘Southside With You,’ and the producers say they’ve already cast someone to play young Barack Obama. Now, I’m not saying the president has aged a lot but that young actor is Morgan Freeman.” – Jimmy Fallon

“George Clooney is on the program tonight. Next week at this time I will be in a hardware store watching them mix paint.” – David Letterman

“I got a call today from a guy I have never heard of before, and he said, ‘Hi, Dave, it’s Bob. I’m with CBS. Look, the day after you guys leave the theater we’re going to send a team in there to take care of the asbestos. – David Letterman

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The Only Thing That Matters

Ruben Bolling
© Ruben Bolling

I can’t fault Bolling’s somewhat cynical assertion that when a prominent Republican says or does something, they are pretty much only considering whether it will give them a political advantage. Whether or not it is a good idea or what kind of effect it will have on the country is largely immaterial. It is a big game, and they are playing to win. Unfortunately, we are often the losers.

And of course, it isn’t just Republican politicians who are susceptible to this disease…

Tom Tomorrow
© Tom Tomorrow

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Late Night Political Humor

“Even the White House is weighing in on the Deflategate scandal. Yesterday they encouraged Tom Brady to ‘be mindful of the way he serves as a role model.’ And then President Obama stuffed out his cigarette and went golfing at noon on a weekday.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The White House encouraged Tom Brady to be more of a role model. They would’ve said more, but there was a drunken Secret Service agent streaking across the Rose Garden.” – Jimmy Fallon

“I have nothing against the North Koreans but this Kim Jong Un has got a screw loose. A member of his cabinet, his security minister, nods off, falls sleep. We’ve all done it. Kim Jong Un takes the guy out and has him executed, just for just falling asleep. Oh, and he was also deflating footballs.” – David Letterman

“Kim Jong Un reportedly had his defense chief executed after he fell asleep during a meeting. Not only did they execute him, they shot him with an anti-aircraft gun. I’d like to see NBC hire Kim Jong Un to host ‘The Apprentice’. His way of firing people is much more exciting than Donald Trump’s.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Kim Jong Un — it’s really Catch-22 with him. If you close your eyes, you get shot for nodding off. If you open them, you get shot for laughing at his haircut.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Things like that make me glad I live in America — where our political figures are free to fall asleep wherever they want.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Senate Democrats blocked President Obama’s trade bill yesterday because they’re worried it could hurt jobs. It’s not an issue for Republicans, since they’ve all found work as presidential candidates.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Last night we had Bill Clinton, the former president. Security was as tight as Governor Christie’s yoga pants.” – David Letterman

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Executive Disorder

Last month, Indiana passed a strong anti-gay-rights law and it caused a national backlash against the state. So you might think that other states would think twice before doing something similar.

But that logic doesn’t apply to Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana and likely presidential candidate. Instead of thinking twice, he is doubling down.

Jindal has been pushing a “religious liberty” bill that allows people to use religion as an excuse to discriminate against gays. Possibly mindful of what happened to Indiana, the legislative committee considering the bill defeated it by an overwhelming 10-2 vote.

Did that stop Jindal? No, instead he issued an executive order, and publicly announced:

We are disappointed by the committee’s action to return the Louisiana Marriage and Conscience Act to the calendar. We will be issuing an Executive Order shortly that will accomplish the intent of HB 707 to prevent the state from discriminating against persons or entities with deeply held religious beliefs that marriage is between one man and one woman.

What makes this truly hypocritical is that Jindal has been an outspoken critic of president Obama’s executive order about immigration, calling it “an arrogant, cynical political move”. Jindal also chastised Obama, saying that the president “should go make the case to Congress and our people.”

Sigh.

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Late Night Political Humor

“In celebration of Mother’s Day yesterday, President Obama called three moms who had written him letters. Then kids who made their mom a macaroni necklace said, ‘Thanks, Obama’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Happy Mother’s Day. Yesterday, President Obama personally called three mothers who had written him letters recently. Man, do I feel sorry for any of their kids who forgot to call.” – Seth Meyers

“The mother would say, ‘Oh, you didn’t have time to call. Do you know who did have time? The president — of the United States of America — yeah, that president. So no, flowers on Wednesday does not make it OK.'” – Seth Meyers

“The White House is testing out new spikes that would make it difficult to jump the fence. So if you’re wondering what kind of cutting-edge technology the Secret Service is using to protect the president, it’s spikes. I think someone saw an episode of ‘Game of Thrones’.” – Seth Meyers

“According to a new report, since he’s been governor, Chris Christie has spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Now, I know it seems like the perfect story for a Chris Christie joke but I’m actually on a Chris Christie joke diet. So nothing for me, thanks.” – Jimmy Fallon

“If you’re going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, ‘Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then he turned to his friends and said, ‘You guys want anything?” That’s a joke. I can’t believe it. I caved in. I feel awful.” – Jimmy Fallon

“A new report reveals that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie spent over $82,000 on food at NFL games. Christie said, ‘Hey, both of those games went into overtime.'” – Conan O’Brien

“The U.S. unemployment rate is the lowest it’s been in nearly seven years. The job sector that has seen the most growth is in the field of Republican presidential candidates.” – Conan O’Brien

“Former President Bill Clinton is on the program tonight. He says that while his wife runs for president, he would like to stay out of the limelight. Well, he’s certainly come to the right place. He’ll be fine here.” – David Letterman

“Bill Clinton may in fact be moving back into the White House. And coincidentally I’m thinking about moving back into my mother’s house.” – David Letterman

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Fifty Shades of Grayson

I usually try to stay out of the personal lives of politicians. In addition I will admit that I have a bit of a soft spot for Alan Grayson, who as a Congressman was willing to say things that other politicians would not dare. But what can I do when his big mouth blurts out something crazy about his personal life?

Grayson is likely running for Marco Rubio’s Senate seat, but has been going through a nasty divorce. In case you haven’t heard, Grayson was married to a woman named Lolita (you can’t make this stuff up), who was still married to someone else when she married Grayson. There are also other crazy tidbits, like when their divorce trial was delayed because she had to have emergency breast implant surgery. She has also gone through six lawyers during the divorce. For his part, Grayson called the police on her for buying groceries with his credit cards.

But when you are thinking about running for the Senate, and the media (of course) asks you about the divorce, it is best to say as little as possible. But not Grayson, who replied “I’ll sum it up for you: Gold diggers gotta dig. that’s all I got to say.”

All he had to say was already too much.

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Late Night Political Humor

“People are being really picky about the upcoming election. I read that Americans do not want the next president to be a first-term senator, be over 65, or have a former president in the family. Then the Secret Service said, ‘Hey, whoever slips through slips through. No promises.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“A new poll finds that the majority of GOP voters say they can’t see themselves supporting Chris Christie. The trick is to lift with your legs, not your back.” – Seth Meyers

“According to a new poll, 48 percent of Americans believe that Hillary Clinton is honest and trustworthy. Then Hillary said, ‘Actually I just made that poll up.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Apparently there are incriminating texts and emails about what they call Deflategate. Earlier today Hillary Clinton announced that she would be happy to delete them.” – David Letterman

“A house panel in Texas has approved full marijuana legalization for the state. Yeah, meaning Texas could go from having dude ranches to ‘Dude, ranches’.” – Jimmy Fallon

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