Political Irony

The War On Christmas Season!

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

How can anyone, no matter how right-wing nutty, who witnesses the winter season of every year, believe for a second that there is any kind of war on Christmas here?

Personally, I don’t like what the Christmas holiday has become in this country. And yet, my wife somehow got me to dress up as Santa Claus for an event. My mailbox is overflowing with Christmas sales. I’m hearing Christmas music. We have invitations to multiple Christmas parties. Heck, even my Jewish friends celebrate Christmas! You just can’t avoid it!

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Sporting Trump

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

I’m so sorry, but I can’t help it. If Trump is as smart as he claims to be, how can he write such stupid things. Here’s his Truculent Trump Tweet du Jour:

Just to jog his memory, here’s Trump receiving an award from Muhammad Ali:

Donald Trump, left, accepts his Muhammad Ali award from Ali at Muhammad Ali’s Celebrity Fight Night XIII in Phoenix, Ariz., Saturday, March 24, 2007. (AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)

Meanwhile, Trump said he wants to ban all Muslims from entering the US. He also wants to consider “closing the Internet up in some way“. Sheesh!

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A Little Trump Music

Monday, December 7, 2015

Some officials in the Republican Party are starting to come to terms with the idea that Donald Trump may be the Republican nominee for president. After all, he is 20 points ahead of his closest rival (Ted Cruz, ick). While the presumed GOP heir apparent, Jeb Bush, is now polling at a dismal three percent.

But their terms are that they don’t like it.

A former official under Dubya says “If Trump were to either get the nomination, or if it even looked like Trump was getting the nomination, he breaks the party.”

A retired Republican congressman says “He is embracing and trying to win through a strategy that most Republicans ultimately believe is dooming us. I call it the last dance on the Titanic.”

So, for your dancing pleasure, (and apologies to Mozart) here’s a little Trump music:

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Is It Something He Said?

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Last week, the New York Times ran an opinion piece headlined “Anyone but Ted Cruz“. It is widely known that Cruz is utterly despised in Congress. Maybe it is because of things he has done, like when “He likened Senate Republicans who recognized the impossibility of defunding Obamacare to Nazi appeasers.”

Cruz tries to spin this as “the price invariably paid by an outsider who challenges the status quo, clings to principle and never backs down.”

However, it turns out that virtually everyone who has ever worked with him (or even just knew him) loathes him. As someone who worked with Cruz in 2000 on the Bush presidential campaign put it, “Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz? It just saves time.” Indeed, he was the only campaign staffer who did not get a job in the White House. Even his former boss, Dubya, said “I just don’t like the guy.”

It goes even further back than that. His freshman roommate in college at Princeton hates him so much he said publicly “I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone. I would rather pick somebody from the phone book.”

A political blog in Texas (where Cruz is the junior senator) picked up the story, and added that Cruz is so busy trying to put himself in the limelight that he has accomplished nothing for the state that elected him.

The best part are the comments. One comment says:

Cruz is an untrustworthy, narcissistic, plutocratic, theocratic fascist who speaks with a forked tongue. He lies as easily as he breathes. Truly, he is an insidious snake oil salesman–lacking any sense of ethical and social responsibility–not an ounce of compassion or loyalty in his bones. He has no respect for anyone. Cruz is all about Cruz.

Someone else responds “and those are his good points”.

Another series of comments goes:

i used to like Cubans until this fraud came up, which is everything Fidel Castro fought against. He is obnoxious to a stinking level, a parasite whose accomplishments in Texas amount to zero.

so you lump all cubans in with him? Come on

Yeah, lay off the Cubans. This bozo is Canadian anyway. Wait… Sorry Canada!

Extra special bonus: Watch unedited video of Cruz coaching his family to say nice things about him for campaign ads. There’s even a small argument between Cruz trying to talk his mother into saying some stuff, but she is uncomfortable and resists. Another video has his wife talking about her brother, who she says “is presently a missionary in Haiti”. But then she stops the taping, saying “My brother’s thing’s too much” because actually “He doesn’t live there”. Cruz tells people what to say, and hugs are repeated over and over until they have just that right feeling of warmth and spontaneity. Warning, watching Cruz try to appear human can be painful, and the discomfort of his own family is palpable.

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Someone has had Enough

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Even a ~~very conservative~~ newspaper like the NY Daily News has had enough. This is their front page from Thursday.

Electoral Vote points out that virtually all the Republican candidates reacted on Twitter with “prayers”, but none of them specified even approximately what they are asking God to do:

Usually when you pray you have one or more requests you would like God to fulfill. Do they want Him to directly intervene and prevent crazy people from getting guns, so Congress doesn’t have to? Not one of the Republicans offered anything concrete other than urging people to pray but not saying what for.

Their insincerity knows no bounds.

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The GOP Spirit of Christmas

Friday, December 4, 2015

Lemme see. Instead of the “Good Samaritan” they have the “Selfish Samaritan”. Why would he let any of those Syrian refugees seek refuge in our country?

They have Saint Ronnie. And the Golden Rule (“he who has the gold, makes the rules”). With the preemptive war in Iraq, they have “do unto others before they can do unto you”.

WWJD?

The Bible has over 300 verses where Jesus speaks about the poor and social justice. Here are just a few:

But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.

Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.

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Tired of Hearing about Mass Shootings?

Friday, December 4, 2015

If you don’t want to keep hearing about mass shootings, there are a few things you can do.

For example, you can stop listening to the news. A better (but similar) solution would be for the news to stop giving quite so much attention to mass shooters, so that angry and mentally disturbed people won’t go on a rampage in order to get attention.

But here’s a much better solution: After the horrific Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings, a bill was introduced that would require background checks on all gun purchases (the Sandy Hook shooter had a history of mental illness). Even though this law makes good sense, it died under heavy lobbying from the gun industry.

Here’s an article that lists the 46 Senators who voted against that law, and also lists how much money each of them received from the gun industry.

And here’s the important part. It gives you addresses, phone numbers, twitter handles, and other ways of contacting them so you can express your displeasure. It even gives you suggestions on how to have maximum impact.

I believe that the Second Amendment gives people the right to own guns. But no right is absolute. Free speech does not give you the right to slander people. Freedom of religion does not let you sacrifice animals to your deity of choice. It is time we stop sacrificing our children and our neighbors.

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Agenda?

Thursday, December 3, 2015

I applaud Paul Ryan’s speech today, where he pledges to “put together a complete alternative to the left’s agenda” over the coming year.

Ok, I admit it, I really want to see what the Republican agenda is. For too long, their agenda has been to oppose everything Obama favors (even when it is something the GOP came up with in the first place, like healthcare reform). But Ryan agrees with that, saying:

And I don’t mean just undo what the president has done — as if we could time-travel back to 2009. I mean, show what we would do, what our ideal policy would be — looking forward to 2017 and beyond. We owe it to the country to offer a bold, pro-growth agenda. And that is what we are going to do.

But that’s not the only reason. I sincerely believe that the GOP has an important role to play in this country. I consider myself a moderate, and that means that I should be somewhere in the middle between liberals and conservatives. Conservatives have done many great things in this country, just not many of them lately. For example, I admire William F. Buckley’s oft stated opinion that conservatism needs to be more than just a “negative response to liberalism”.

And finally, I believe in competition. I don’t want our country to be dominated by a single political party. I want lively debate between multiple parties (as many as reasonable), and someone to hold those in power in check.

Is Ryan serious, or is this just a cynical political exercise to get people to vote for a Republican president so they can control all three branches of our government? We’ll see.

UPDATE: On the other hand, the other big GOP news today is the vote in the Senate to repeal Obamacare, including Medicaid expansion. The same bill also defunds Planned Parenthood. Some things never change. The bill will be vetoed by Obama.

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Late Night Political Humor

Thursday, December 3, 2015

“President Obama is overseas this week joining other world leaders in Turkey for the G-20 summit. Which is unusual, because normally when people are gathered around Turkey debating Obama, it’s just a bunch of drunk uncles at Thanksgiving.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Governor Chris Christie said in an interview yesterday that New Jersey would not accept Syrian refugees. Which is too bad, because Syrian refugees would be the first people ever to arrive in New Jersey and say, ‘Hey, this is MUCH better!'” – Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump went on Twitter today and mocked Ronda Rousey for losing her fight this past weekend. In response, T-Mobile’s CEO said he’d pay to see Trump fight her in the ring — at which point, Trump started building a wall around himself.” – Jimmy Fallon

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Political Climate Change?

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

At the UN climate conference in Paris, Obama spoke forcefully about the need to make the accords legally binding, to hold countries accountable. This is new and exciting, and has energized the negotiations there.

Meanwhile, the Republicans in Congress scheduled votes on Tuesday to strike down rules that reduce carbon emissions. Once again, they are sabotaging us from doing anything about climate change, even though a full two-thirds of Americans want us to fight climate change and carbon pollution.

To me, this is just another example of the GOP paying far more attention to their corporate overlords than to what’s best for the country (and because of Citizens United, their corporate benefactors don’t even have to be Americans).

But what makes this ironic is their excuse. They claim that fighting carbon pollution will cost jobs. Newly elected Speaker Paul Ryan says:

I don’t think we’re out of step with public opinion wanting jobs, wanting economic growth, weighing the costs and the benefits. I think when you weigh the costs and the benefits against these so-called legally binding obligations they don’t add up. I think it’s very clear people want jobs.

This is a clear example of “Iron’s Law” – when someone says they are doing something for “jobs”, then they are clearly screwing you.

Plus, there is plenty of evidence that a carbon tax would be good for jobs, and good for the economy in general.

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Late Night Political Humor

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

“The Democratic candidates went head-to-head Saturday night in their second debate, where unlike the Ronda Rousey fight, we saw a woman knock out TWO opponents.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Not that anyone seemed to notice, but there was a Democratic debate on Saturday night. It was Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O’Malley, who is either a presidential candidate or an Irish pub where they all went to drink afterwards, I’m not sure.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Data from social media and Google showed that Bernie Sanders was the most talked about of the three Democratic candidates after the debate. Bernie came in first, Hillary came in second, — and somehow Martin O’Malley came in fourth.” – Jimmy Fallon

“If you watched the debate on mute, it looked like Bernie Sanders spent two hours angrily sending his soup back at the deli.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Bernie Sanders announced today that he has joined Snapchat. Sanders said he’s excited to see his photos disappear, ‘JUST LIKE THE MIDDLE CLASS!'” – Seth Meyers

“CBS actually ended the debate seven minutes before it was supposed to finish. Or as Bill Clinton put it, ‘Oh my God, you’re home early!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“In an interview this morning, Donald Trump said that mosques need to be ‘watched and studied,’ because he believes they may spread hateful views. In related news, Donald Trump needs to be watched and studied.” – Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump is out in front of the pack again. According to a new Reuters poll he’s in first place among likely Republican voters with 42 percent. Ben Carson is in second with just under 25 percent. Only 4 percent now say they would support Jeb Bush. That number dropped to 2 percent when the pollster asked, ‘Really?'” – Jimmy Kimmel

“I think Donald Trump will drop out once he finds out how much money the president actually makes. I think he pays his hair flap engineer more than $400,000 a year.” – Jimmy Kimmel

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Religious Extremism

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Rubio got it half right. It is a clash alright, but a clash of religions, and certainly not of “civilizations”. You can’t have a civilization if you aren’t civil!

But Rubio has said something even scarier. He believes that “God’s rules” overrule the Supreme Court and laws given to us by Congress.

To me, the only problem is who has the right to decide what is God’s law? Do Christians have that right? What happens when that right comes into conflict with Muslims, or Jews, or Buddhists?

This country was largely founded by people fleeing religious intolerance, and they were Christians fleeing from other Christians. If Christians can’t even decide what God’s law is, how can we trust it?

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Late Night Political Humor

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

“Tomorrow night is the second Democratic debate! It’s the perfect way to spend a Saturday night if you’re single. And it’s raining. And every movie theater is closed. And you only get one channel.” – Jimmy Fallon

“This time, the debate will feature just three candidates: Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O’Malley. Or as viewers call them, ‘Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Bathroom Break.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Bernie Sanders got an endorsement from the American Postal Workers Union. Well, Bernie Sanders’ neighbor got the endorsement, but it was meant for Bernie. He’ll get it eventually.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Lately, Trump has been pretty cranky about losing his lead in the polls over retired neurosurgeon and ‘Guy who sits next to you in an otherwise empty theater,’ Ben Carson. Evidently, people have been looking at Trump and thinking, ‘Maybe we shouldn’t elect a man who shouts crazy things. Maybe we should elect a man who whispers crazy things.'” – Stephen Colbert

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Are We Too Dumb for Democracy?

Monday, November 30, 2015

One of my favorite reporters, Matt Taibbi, has a great article in Rolling Stone, titled “America Is Too Dumb for TV News“. The article (and I highly recommend you read it) discusses how Trump has finally trumped reality. Even in the age of video on everyone’s phone and the Internet, Trump can largely get away with a baldfaced lie, claiming:

Hey, I watched when the World Trade Center came tumbling down. And I watched in Jersey City, New Jersey, where thousands and thousands of people were cheering as that building was coming down. Thousands of people were cheering.

Trump’s statement is preposterous, of course:

Does nobody remember how people felt that day? If there had been such broadcasts, there would have been massacres – angry Americans would have stormed Jersey City.

In fact, police had to be deployed to places like Paterson anyway to protect immigrants from exactly that sort of mob violence. This is one of the reasons we know Muslims weren’t dancing en masse in the streets, because police were parked on those streets in huge numbers to keep people out.

The Newark Star-Ledger did a report in the weeks after the attacks from Paterson showing the city in “virtual lockdown,” with police camped in Muslim neighborhoods for the protection of the locals.

And yet, Trump not only keeps claiming it happened, but anyone who disagrees with him is part of an ongoing conspiracy against him. Trump even tweeted, “I want an apology! Many people have tweeted that I am right!” – as if a few people agreeing with him makes it true.

Rush Limbaugh backs him up, saying that “regardless of the specific details” [Wow!] Trump is right, because “The bottom line is that a lot of Americans are well aware that Muslims were cheering.”

Because America “knows” this, it now expects the news media to deliver that story. And if reporters refuse, it can only be out of bias.

Politicians have figured out that (with the cooperation of the media) that they can say anything they want and get away with it. Even if they get called on their lies, they can “Blame the backlash on media bias and walk away a hero.”

And it isn’t just Trump. Carly Fiorina claims to have watched a nonexistent video, and keeps using a false claim that 92% of the jobs lost under Obama belonged to women. Ben Carson tells stories that don’t bear scrutiny. Democrats do it too, but not to the same extent – perhaps because they don’t have anything like the right-wing media backing them up.

If our reality can be rewritten by an unholy alliance between politicians and media, how can we be trusted to vote for our leaders?

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Late Night Political Humor

Monday, November 30, 2015

“After the debate this week, online polls show Donald Trump is still in the lead, but critics say the poll is unscientific. Because even science can’t explain how Donald Trump is still in the lead.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump said in a new interview, ‘We started off with 17 and one by one they’re disappearing. It’s a beautiful thing to watch as they go out.’ Which begs the question, have we actually just been watching ‘The Apprentice’ this whole time?” – Seth Meyers

“In a recent interview, Donald Trump hinted that he might consider Chris Christie for his ticket if he wins the nomination. Not to be his vice president — to be his wall between America and Mexico.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump’s latest attack on Hillary Clinton is that her hair isn’t real. Trump says he knows this because he saw her in line at his wig store.” – Conan O’Brien

“I heard that a couple weeks ago, Rick Santorum and Ted Cruz spent some time hunting pheasants in Iowa. When Donald Trump heard that, he was like, ‘Why wasn’t I invited? I love hunting peasants.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“GOP candidate Carly Fiorina is being criticized for repeatedly changing the story of how she met Vladimir Putin, where they met, and what they talked about. In other words, they DEFINITELY met on Tinder.” – Jimmy Fallon

“First Ben Carson said he attacked his mother with a hammer, now Ben Carson’s mother is saying she’s the one who attacked Ben with a hammer. I don’t know about you, but that’s going to be one awkward Thanksgiving at the Carson house.” – Conan O’Brien

“It was reported that the Republican candidates said Hillary Clinton’s name more than 40 times during the debate on Tuesday. Though usually you only have to say it three times before she appears.” – Seth Meyers

“The American Postal Workers Union has endorsed Bernie Sanders. They like Bernie because he’s the only candidate who’s old enough to still be using the U.S. Postal Service.” – Conan O’Brien

“The next Democratic debate is being held this Saturday in Des Moines, Iowa, and will be broadcast by CBS News. And if that doesn’t do the job, try Ambien.” – Seth Meyers

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The War On Christmas Season!

Sporting Trump

A Little Trump Music

Is It Something He Said?

Someone has had Enough

The GOP Spirit of Christmas

Tired of Hearing about Mass Shootings?

Agenda?

Late Night Political Humor

Political Climate Change?

Late Night Political Humor

Religious Extremism

Late Night Political Humor

Are We Too Dumb for Democracy?

Late Night Political Humor

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