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Cruzing for a Bruzing

Thursday, January 14, 2016

On Tuesday I did a post about Ted Cruz, asking how conservatives could be fooled by his flimsy tea party credentials when he is married to an investment banker who works for Goldman Sachs.

Well, it is worse than that. In a story published on Wednesday, the New York Times discloses that the Cruzes lied about how he financed his Senate campaign four years ago. Ted Cruz and his wife have repeatedly claimed that they scrimped and sacrificed to fund his campaign.

But it turns out that what they didn’t mention is two loans totaling around a million dollars, which were never reported to the FEC (which is against the law). Where did these loans come from? From Goldman Sachs and from Citibank.

And far from scrimping and sacrificing, their investment portfolio actually increased during that time, even though they claimed that they had liquidated everything to finance his campaign.

And what makes this especially hypocritical is that Ted Cruz campaigns as an enemy of Wall Street and the influence of big banks (like Citibank) in Washington.

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If It Ain’t Broke

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Pat Bagley
© Pat Bagley

Here’s a good summary of Obama’s final State of the Union address.

Right-wing media has convinced a lot of people that Obama is destroying our economy, sending illegal immigrants to take our jobs, waging war on Christmas, and plotting to take away our guns. But when you are dealing with voters who actually believe that Obama is a Muslim and wasn’t even born in this country, how are you going to get them to open their eyes to the fact that greedy and powerful people and organizations are using blatant propaganda to get us to vote against our own interests. Indeed, the worst thing you can say about Obama is that maybe he is not fixing the mess left by the last Republican administration fast enough.

UPDATE: I gained respect for Nikki Haley in her response to the SOTU, for her willingness to tell conservatives to “turn down the volume” of hate against immigrants. Of course, conservatives responded by turning up the volume. Ann Coulter tweeted that we should “Deport Nikki Haley” and called Haley an “immigrant”. Haley was born in South Carolina to parents who immigrated from India.

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Late Night Political Humor

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

“The most popular reality TV show in America right now is Donald Trump’s campaign for president. Trump, yesterday, proposed a ‘total and complete shutdown’ of Muslims coming into the United States. Even former Vice President Dick Cheney said the ban goes against everything we believe in. And this is a guy who shot one of his friends.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump got a lot of people upset when he released a statement yesterday that called for a ban on Muslims entering the United States, and even Dick Cheney said he’d gone too far. You know it’s bad when Dick Cheney steps in to say, ‘Come on, have a heart, any heart.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Dick Cheney said Donald Trump’s comments yesterday go against everything America stands for. Cheney said, ‘In other words, he’s got my full support.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump said that the United States should block all Muslims from entering the country. He said that in fact, the only reason we should ever allow ANYONE to come here from ANY country is to marry him.” – Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump said he would not put Muslims in internment camps. He said they would all stay at his luxurious new ‘Trump Hotel and Internment Resort.'” – Conan O’Brien

“A new report claims ISIS has been using American weapons in their fight against the United States. The weapons include tanks, rifles, and Donald Trump.” – Conan O’Brien

“The New York Times analyzed the 95,000 words that Trump used in speeches last week and found patterns that aren’t common in most presidents’ speeches. Apparently Abraham Lincoln never insulted Rosie O’Donnell.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump said he could call Bill Gates and ask him to close down the Internet. Then Bill Gates said he could call Donald Trump and explain how the Internet actually works.” – Conan O’Brien

“The White House pastry chef made a 500-pound dark chocolate gingerbread White House. Obama was like, ‘Uh, but you made a REGULAR gingerbread house for all the OTHER presidents…'” – Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama reportedly met Hillary Clinton yesterday for a secret lunch at the White House. And then when lunch ended, Hillary said, ‘OK, thanks for coming over.'” –Seth Meyers

“Bernie Sanders just unveiled a new climate change plan, and he promised to cut back on fossil fuels. Bernie really wants to cut down on fossil fuels — especially because they’re made from his high school friends.” – Jimmy Fallon

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Cruz Missile

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

G B Trudeau
© G B Trudeau

Are conservative Christians going to be fooled again, the way they were with Dubya? I mean, for heaven’s sake, Ted Cruz is married to an investment banker and his only motto seems to be something like “Praise the Lord and gimme the greenbacks”. And while he has the most hardline stance against immigration of any presidential candidate, he himself was born in Canada to a Cuban father. Plus he talks way too much about his religious beliefs.

I’ve mentioned how almost everyone who has ever worked with him absolutely loathes him.

I just don’t get why anyone believes a word he says.

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Late Night Political Humor

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

“A new poll shows Donald Trump has 36 percent support among Republicans and Ted Cruz is in second place with 16 percent. Meanwhile, Jeb Bush is at 3. Not percent — people.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump said today that all Muslims, even U.S. citizens and those serving in the armed forces, should be barred from entering the United States. Trump’s statement was so outrageous and so offensive, his poll numbers went up 20 points.” – Conan O’Brien

“Today Donald Trump called for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States. I’m starting to think Donald Trump is sick of running for president. He’s trying to say crazy things to get himself thrown out. But the crazier the things he says, the more people seem to like him. It’s like the movie ‘The Producers.’ This campaign is his ‘Springtime for Hitler’.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“A new poll has found that half of the country thinks Donald Trump’s statements on the campaign trail are insulting and offensive, while the other half of the country thinks his statements are ‘insultante y ofensiva.'” – Seth Meyers

“Ted Cruz has jumped ahead of Donald Trump in the latest Iowa poll. The poll was called ‘Who’s crazier?'” – Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump is 20 points ahead of the other Republican candidates. Even Trump was like, ‘OK, this isn’t funny anymore.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama gave a rare national address last night from the Oval Office. Then today, Hillary Clinton said it was her favorite episode of ‘House Hunters.'” – Seth Meyers

“It was reported today that more than 50 members of Congress still haven’t paid back their student loans. John McCain said he just needs a little more time.” – Conan O’Brien

“It has come out that a top Russian official recently met with Pamela Anderson. The Russian official said it was an honor to meet someone who’s posed for more topless photos than Vladimir Putin.” – Conan O’Brien

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Can’t Tell The Players Without a Scorecard!

Monday, January 11, 2016

Adam Zyglis
© Adam Zyglis

Anyone who thinks our country is not still incredibly racist isn’t paying attention. Either that, or you are so racist yourself that you are clueless as to what is going on.

Like this situation, where an heavily armed group takes over a federal building by force and threatens violence.

Now imagine the same scene except the group is anything other than white Christians.

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Late Night Political Humor

Sunday, January 10, 2016

“Christmas is right around the corner which means any day now, Donald Trump should be tweeting out an insult to Santa. ‘He’s fat and old and he uses illegal laborers.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“After CNN said they would not pay Donald Trump the $5 million he wanted to appear at the next debate, Trump said he would appear for free. And then he went back to saying what an amazing negotiator he is. ‘I’ll do it for $5 million – No? Zero? Okay. Free is my final offer.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“There was a big ceremony at the Capital yesterday to unveil a marble statue of Dick Cheney. People said, ‘Wow, he looks so life-like.’ And then Cheney said, ‘Actually, the statue’s over there.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Russia is planning to build a base on the moon where astronauts will live permanently. When asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless landscape, the Russians said, ‘No, that’s why we want to go to the moon.'” – Jimmy Fallon

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Republicans Piss Everybody Off

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Trump pissed off Latinos by promising to deport all 11 million undocumented immigrants. But he left open the possibility that those people could apply for a visa to return legally. This week, Ted Cruz decided to get even tougher, and said that not only will he deport all of them, but he will deny them the possibility of coming back legally.

Back in 2012 the Republicans did some soul searching to figure out why they lost the presidential race. Their conclusion was that in order to have any chance of winning, they had to get at least 40% of the Latino vote (Romney got 27%). But with the top two GOP presidential candidates pissing all over Latinos, it seems more likely that they will get less of their vote, not more.

But it gets worse. Also this week, the Republicans voted to repeal Obamacare (making it their 60th attempt to do that). So they are going to piss off millions of people who would lose their health insurance if Obama doesn’t veto the bill. Of course he will. Republicans claim that forcing Obama to veto this bill will cost him politically. But do they really believe that there is anyone who doesn’t know where Obama stands on the ACA? Seriously?

And if that weren’t enough, the same bill also defunds Planned Parenthood, which means that the GOP isn’t afraid to piss off women.

Does anyone really believe that the GOP has any chance of regaining the presidency?

UPDATE: Not only that, but Trump just picked a fight with one person you really don’t want to piss off.

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Late Night Political Humor

Friday, January 8, 2016

“Things haven’t been going too great for Jeb Bush, but he’s not giving up. His campaign has spent the most money on TV ads, $30 million. I don’t want to say Jeb’s run too many ads, but his new Secret Service code name is ‘Geico’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“In New York, Federal authorities have seized 274 pairs of shoes made from endangered species. The shoes were made from rhino horn, crocodile skin, and Jeb Bush supporters.” – Conan O’Brien

“Hillary Clinton recently started following a bunch of new people and organizations on Instagram, including the home improvement channel, HGTV. When asked why, Hillary was like, ‘Oh, I’m getting a new house soon.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Hillary went on an Instagram binge and followed a bunch of celebrities like Beyonce, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. When asked if Bill Clinton follows any women on Instagram, he was like, ‘All of them’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“It’s come out that last year, a man was able to get past the Secret Service and speak with President Obama by pretending to be a congressman. The Secret Service realized he wasn’t a congressman because he was willing to be seen with President Obama.” – Conan O’Brien

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spotty

Thursday, January 7, 2016

I’m out of town and just discovered the place where I’m staying has no internet (or even cell coverage). I’ve scheduled a post for each day, but I won’t be around much to respond to all your typically great comments. Back soon!

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Opinions Change When Money is Involved

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Here’s a new twist to an age old problem. The problem is that when you ask people how the economy is doing, their answer has more to do with whether the president is currently from the same political party they are, than it does with objective reality. When the president is a Republican, then Republicans think the economy is doing well, and likewise for Democrats.

It is as if you are asking them to name the best football team. Of course it is going to be their team, reality be damned.

So is there no objective reality we can agree on? If not, this is bad news for democracy.

But two studies show that there is an objective reality. In the first study, they asked the same question about the economy, but told the respondents that they would get two dollars if they got the right answer. There was still some political bias, but it was mainly from people who didn’t know enough to be sure of an answer.

So in the second study, they gave people a dollar if they got the right answer, but gave them 33 cents if they said “I don’t know”. And just like that, all political bias vanished.

When people have some skin in the game (even a small amount), they actually think about their answer and give a good answer.

However, if you mentioned a politician by name in the question, then partisan bias crept back in. For example, these are factually the same question:

  • Is the unemployment rate lower or higher than it was seven years ago?
  • Is the unemployment rate lower or higher than it was when Barack Obama became president?

But if you ask the latter question, partisan bias reappears.

There are other examples of how when money is at stake, people do understand (and act according to) actual reality. For example, the recent news that oil companies, even while they were completely claiming that climate change was not a problem and even strongly donating to politicians who also denied that it existed, nonetheless were internally making plans to deal with the reality of climate change. Another example is Obamacare, where many Republicans will say that it is terrible, but will still take advantage of it to get health insurance. Or Republican politicians who expanded Medicaid in their states, even though they voted against the ACA.

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Y’all Qaeda waging YeeHawd

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Jen Sorensen
© Jen Sorensen

This has become a very political issue, with some people on the right calling them patriots, and some people on the left calling them terrorists. As usual, the reality is somewhere in the middle. There is a good, balanced article in the New Yorker discussing this called “The Bundys and the Irony of American Vigilantism”.

Meanwhile, the Twittersphere is going nuts calling the occupiers hilarious names. And they deserve it. After all, these people who are threatening to kill (or die) to defend their right to abuse public land are the same people who want to deport Muslims who are living in the US legally, close their mosques, and do other horrible things to their rights.

But regardless of your politics, can you help but laugh when people mock this so-called militia by calling them “Y’all Qaeda”, “Yokel Haram”, or “Al-Shabubba”? Or – because they are pretty much all white – the “Vanilla ISIS”? And instead of Jihad, they are waging “YeeHawd”. Even their choice of target is a joke, as pointed out by Jim Wright of Stonekettle Station in a tweet:

Jim Wright

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Cutting Out the Middleman

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Jerry Holbert
© Jerry Holbert

This comic would be way funnier (albeit a bit more subtle) if the first panel said “I am sick of politicians being bought off by billionaires.”

After all, why should billionaires go the indirect and inefficient route of bribing politicians, when they can just do whatever they want directly?

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Insanity

Monday, January 4, 2016

To nobody’s surprise, the very first act of Congress in 2016 is a bill that (once again) attempts to repeal Obamacare and defund Planned Parenthood. Speaker Paul Ryan seems proud of this action, and even admits that he knows the bill won’t become law, telling a conservative talk host: “You’re going to see us put a bill on the president’s desk going after Obamacare and Planned Parenthood so we’ll finally get a bill on his desk to veto.” Pure politics.

Also on the docket, the House Benghazi committee will continue its partisan investigation of Hillary Clinton.

The only new thing is legislation clamping down on Obama’s Syrian refugee program, which continues the GOP’s long record of being the “Party of No”.

Is this the bold new agenda that Republicans promised us? It suspiciously looks exactly like the old agenda.

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The Stupidity of the Republican Party

Monday, January 4, 2016

To help you start the new year right, here’s an excerpt from Margaret and Helen, by Helen Philpot:

Yesterday was the anniversary of the ratification of the Bill of Rights, a document that gave me the right to call Sarah Palin a bitch (1st Amendment) and idiots the right to own guns (2nd Amendment).

And to prove my point, even Christmas has been turned into a war. Honestly, is it really that offensive to just wish someone Happy Holidays? After all, Merry Christmas doesn’t exactly evoke images of the birth of Jesus as much as it does a fat man in a red suit with a bag of toys. Realizing that counting down the number of shopping days to his birthday might be a little off-putting to Jesus, I think I’ll gladly stick with my Happy Holidays regardless of some haughty born-again’s desire to hear Merry Christmas.

But what I find most confusing these days is the Republican Party’s constant insistence that banning Muslims and Mexicans is not a Republican value and that Donald Trump’s extreme views are not representative of the GOP. Funny. Maybe in their efforts to roll back the Voting Rights Act, Republicans have forgotten that votes actually mean something, and currently the one Republican counting the most votes wants to ban Muslims and Mexicans.

Sometimes you might not like where you end up, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t actually there. Like it or not, the place they have landed is a debate stage filled with angry politicians calling for more wars. And Trump is what you get when card-carrying NRA members hell bent on wishing everyone a Merry Christmas are the largest voting block in your party. Nine of the GOP’s finest were debating on that stage but I swear there’s a tree stump in a Louisiana swamp with a higher IQ than all of them.

If you ask me, it’s time for a new party, but sadly nobody asked me.

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