Political Irony

Late Night Political Humor

Saturday, May 14, 2016

[Jokes from April 28-29, 2016]

“The White House Correspondents’ Dinner is tomorrow, and Bernie Sanders will be attending. You could tell Bernie Sanders was a guest at the dinner when they had to schedule it at 3 p.m. Bernie was like, ‘I’m going to start a revolution — at the dessert table!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Vice president Joe Biden made a surprise trip to Iraq this morning, and no one was more surprised than him. ‘Last time I use Expedia!'” – Seth Meyers

“During Donald Trump’s foreign policy speech yesterday, he said when it comes to military action, we have to be unpredictable. Scary news for Iran, but terrifying news for Canada.” – Seth Meyers

“During his foreign policy speech yesterday, Donald Trump mispronounced Tanzania and called it ‘Tanzainia’. Then Melania was like, ‘That’s nothing. My name is actually Kathryn.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump yesterday gave his first foreign policy speech and accused President Obama of handling Iran with tender lovin’ care. Eric and Donald Jr. were like, ‘Sometimes that works, Dad.'” – Seth Meyers

“Last night Donald Trump tweeted from Indiana that he was staying at a Holiday Inn Express, and said it was ‘not bad’. Which, I believe, is just one of their ads: ‘Holiday inn Express: Not bad.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Exit polls from Tuesday’s primary showed Donald Trump won about 50 percent of Republican voters with college degrees. Well, technically they have college degrees. Their diploma was a steak.” – Seth Meyers

“Yesterday Ted Cruz, the man mathematically eliminated from becoming president, picked his vice president. Cruz chose Carly Fiorina as his running mate: The first woman ever to lose the Republican nomination twice in three months.” – James Corden

“Just to be clear, there is no way Ted Cruz could even get the nomination. He’s now like a 6 year old, pretending to be president.” – James Corden

“I’m pretty sure we’re going to see Ted Cruz drive around in a minivan with ‘Air Force One’ spray painted on the sides. He’ll be dressing up all of his daughters’ dolls like advisers going, ‘Yes, that is a good point about healthcare. Thank you, Malibu Barbie!'” – James Corden

“We are basically one month away from Cruz holding his own Republican National Convention at the Hooters in Texas.” – James Corden

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Auditing Trump

Friday, May 13, 2016

Donald Trump is refusing to release his tax returns. He claims that it is because he is being audited by the IRS, but that argument doesn’t hold a drop of water. First of all, Trump has plenty of older tax returns that are not being audited, and he refuses to release those too. And second, there is nothing wrong with releasing a tax return while it is under audit. In fact, Richard Nixon did so in 1973.

Donald Trump is the first major presidential candidate to not release his tax returns in 40 years. Given that Trump is not shy and talks about his private life all the time, it is obvious that his tax returns must contain a bombshell of epic proportions.

Electoral vote speculates on some of the possibilities:

He’s paying a very low effective tax rate
He’s using trickery of various sorts to (legally) game the tax system
He’s not as wealthy as he claims to be
He’s not giving much (or anything) to charity
He’s been giving money to Democratic candidates

Unless proven otherwise, we can only assume that all of these are true. In fact, an editor of Bloomberg News has seen Trump’s tax returns, and while he legally cannot reveal what he saw, he strongly hints that there are multiple bombshells in them. At the very least, we already know that Trump routinely lies about how wealthy he is.

UPDATE: For several years, Trump has been receiving a deduction from New York State that is only available to people who make $500,000 or less. So, does this mean that Trump is cheating on his taxes, or does he really make that little, given that he claims to be “really rich”? What’s really ironic is that the tax break was worth a measly $302, and he had to apply for it.

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The Election

Friday, May 13, 2016

I’m not really sure what the cartoonist meant by this one, but for some reason I can’t stop laughing. What does this cartoon mean to you?

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Irony from West Virginia

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Exit polls in West Virginia show that many Bernie Sanders voters in this week’s primary plan to vote for Donald Trump in the general election. But the ironic part is that 39% of people who voted for Sanders in the Democratic primary would vote for Trump over Sanders, if Sanders is the Democratic nominee.

How did this happen? West Virginia is one of those southern states that was dominated by Democrats for years. Even now, 51% of voters are registered as Democrats compared to just 29% registered as Republicans. But West Virginia hasn’t voted for a Democratic president since Bill Clinton, and likely won’t for a long time to come.

I guess these people haven’t gotten around to changing their registration, even though they vote like Republicans. Another theory is that now that the GOP nomination is wrapped up, Republicans are trying to damage Clinton by voting for Sanders.

Whatever the reason, it is just another sign that our politics are really screwed up.

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Who is to Blame for the Incredible Trump?

Thursday, May 12, 2016

I think Donald Trump is the personification of The Big Lie. Even liberals can’t believe he would be as bad as he says he would be.

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Jon Stewart on Hillary Clinton

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Jon Stewart was interviewed by David Axelrod on Monday. He has some sharp criticism of Hillary Clinton:

I agree with Stewart about how Clinton appears inauthentic, and I think Clinton might agree with him as well (if she were being candid). She has said on more than one occasion that she is not a natural politician (like her husband). Plus the fact that Clinton is attacked for pretty much everything she says or does (and even quite a bit she didn’t actually say or do) makes her cautious, and as a result appears calculating. But as Stewart also says, that is not necessarily bad. Appearing to be authentic can also be a sign of being a sociopath.

Speaking of sociopaths, Stewart savaged Donald Trump, calling him “Fuckface von Clownstick”, and a “man-baby”:

There is also a good discussion of what’s wrong with our current politics.

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Trump Might Just Destroy the World Economy

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

If you were worried about whether Donald Trump would destroy our economy, you don’t have to worry any more. In an interview last week on CNBC, Trump explained how he was going to destroy our economy. Bonus points: he will not just destroy our economy, but likely most of the world economy.

Don’t believe me? Just read this article by Matthew Yglesias in Vox.

Short version: you remember how the out-of-control national debt is a really bad thing. Heck, most of the argument against Obamacare was that it would explode the national deficits (it didn’t, but still). Well, according to Trump you don’t have to worry about that any more. Trump just said “I am the king of debt. I love debt. I love playing with it. … I would borrow, knowing that if the economy crashed, you could make a deal. And if the economy was good, it was good. So therefore, you can’t lose.”

Trump is describing his career as a “successful businessman”. Using his Trump brand, he has repeatedly borrowed other people’s money for a series of “huge” projects. When the projects failed, he declared bankruptcy, leaving his investors holding the bag. When they succeeded, he raked in the cash, despite having invested little of his own money. You could call it a “celebrity economy”. Trump’s brand is a license for him to print money.

There’s just one problem. As Yglesias puts it:

With his statement, Trump not only revealed a dangerous ignorance about the operation of the national monetary system and the global economic order, but also offered a brilliant case study in the profound risks of attempting to apply the logic of a private business enterprise to the task of running the United States of America.

If the United States were forced into bankruptcy, all hell would break loose. Your savings would likely lose most of its value, including your home. Many businesses (including most banks) would fail. Unemployment would spike to unprecedented levels.

Want even more evidence that Trump could cause this? Trump recently proposed that Puerto Rico declare bankruptcy to solve their financial problems, even though doing so is illegal. Taking advantage of the bankruptcy laws to dump his debt on other people has worked very well for Trump, and it is the only game he knows.

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Bad Hair Day

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

What will the Republican party look like, after it is restyled by Donald Trump?

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Hillary Clinton is a Progressive

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Some people have called Hillary Clinton a Republican in Democrat’s clothing, but does that claim pass scrutiny? One of the arguments for this was that she was actually a Republican for part of the 60’s, but that was mostly before she was even old enough to vote. If there is some rule that once a Republican, always a Republican, then I guess Elizabeth Warren (whom I love) can’t be a progressive Democrat, as she was registered with to GOP as late as 1996.

But what about Clinton’s policies, you ask? Well, Jonathan Cohn ran the numbers and well, yes, compared to Bernie Sanders, Clinton is to his right. The problem with this argument is that pretty much every Democrat (and every Republican) in office is to the right of Bernie Sanders. Furthermore, according to DW-NOMINATE scores, when Clinton was a member of Congress, she was the 11th most liberal member of the Senate.

And what about her current priorities? Those are pretty progressive too. Like raising the minimum wage, phasing out fossil fuels, twelve weeks of family leave for new mothers and fathers, making a college education possible without taking out loans, and higher taxes on the wealthy. In some cases, her positions are to the left of Sanders, such as gun violence, abortion, and (in some ways) immigration.

Yes, Sanders is definitely to the left of Clinton, but he is so far to the left he didn’t even call himself a Democrat until he decided to run for president. If you compare Clinton to any other Democrat who ran for the nomination this election, including Jim Webb and Martin O’Malley she is far more progressive.

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Return of Church Lady

Monday, May 9, 2016

Church Lady returns to interview Ted Cruz and Donald Trump.

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Republicans Should Apologise to Bill Clinton

Monday, May 9, 2016

This is ironic – an article titled “Republicans, Apologize to Bill Clinton“. No, it wasn’t written by a Democrat (not even by Hillary Clinton). It was written by influential conservative Erick Erickson. His point:

Seventeen years after Republicans impeached Bill Clinton for covering up an affair, they are handing their party over to a man who has openly bragged about his affairs. On the day the Republicans first meet in Cleveland, Donald Trump will be taken to court for allegedly defrauding hard working Americans through Trump University.

On the campaign trail, Trump was more a pathological liar than Bill Clinton ever was. He smeared his opponents, their wives, and their families. He embraced 9/11 trutherisms that George Bush was to blame for the attacks, he peddled malignant, false stories about Ted Cruz’s father, and few Republicans ever called on him to account. Many gave him passes on the lies they would never give to Bill Clinton.

Republicans owe Bill Clinton an apology for impeaching him over lies and affairs while now embracing a pathological liar and womanizer. That apology will not be forthcoming. In fact, for years Republicans have accused the Democrats of gutter politics and shamelessness. Now the Republicans themselves have lost their sense of shame.

Bottom line?

The party that fancies itself as the grown up party has handed itself over to a huckster with a cult of ill behaved children.

I can see his point. The Republicans impeached Bill Clinton for having an affair and for lying about it. Now they have nominated a man who brags about his affairs and lies so casually it takes your breath away. Not to mention is so racist he purposely incites violence.

Is Trump still a womanizer? Or is his third marriage “the charm”? I sincerely doubt age has changed him. For Cinco de Mayo, Trump tweeted a tacky photo of himself eating a taco salad. The accompanying text was pure Trump: “Happy Cinco de Mayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!” Always the self-promoter, and claiming to love Hispanics, after he has repeatedly called Mexican immigrants “rapists” and criminals.

If you look more closely at the image, you can see that he does love something.

Down in the bottom right is a photo of a woman in a bikini. And the woman has been identified as Marla Maples, Trump’s second wife, with whom he had a “scandalous affair” while he was married to his first wife. Still keeping tabs on her I guess. Did he do this accidentally, or purposely?

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Angry Tweets

Sunday, May 8, 2016

I can’t help but wonder if the Internet played a role in our current political predicament. Would Donald Trump have been able to to become the presumptive nominee without Twitter? Is it any wonder that the mainstream media abdicated their responsibility to vet the candidates?

With each generation, the dominant media changes. At one time, there were only three major networks and they had a profound influence on our democracy. Then cable news happened, along with the unholy alliance of Fox News and Republicans. And now, with Trump, even Fox News was blindsided.

As many people have pointed out, the Internet makes it easier to find oneself in an echo chamber, only listening to opinions and “facts” that we already agree with. Where will this lead? Does the Internet make democracy easier, or are we doomed?

Don’t get be wrong. I love the internet. I make my living from it. And even if I didn’t, it is a large part of my life (I am a blogger, after all). I would not want it to ever go away. In fact, I’m not even sure if I can imagine what it would be like any more to live without the internet. But I do wonder, and even worry, about it.

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Late Night Political Humor

Sunday, May 8, 2016

[Jokes from the night of April 27, 2016]

“Yesterday was a huge win for Donald Trump, who won all five of the primaries in the states of Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Rhode Island. During his victory speech, Trump called it a ‘diverse victory’. And it’s true! Some people in those states shop at J Crew, and others shop at the J Crew OUTLET.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump now appears to be the likely Republican nominee. In a related story, Canada is getting ready for 45 million people to come crash on their couch.” – Conan O’Brien

“During his victory speech last night Donald Trump dismissed the idea of facing a contested convention, saying, ‘As far as I’m concerned, it’s over.’ And by ‘it’, I assume he means civilization as we know it.” – Seth Meyers

“After all the speculation and the campaigning and craziness and this unprecedented cartoonish election, we seem to be down to two candidates, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. I don’t know why. Nobody seems to like them, but they’re both way ahead in the delegate count.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“While it’s not officially over, it’s over. Everyone knows it except Kasich, Sanders, and Cruz. At this point the only chance they have of stopping Clinton and Trump is an angry Beyoncé with a baseball bat, but they’re not giving up.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Now that the election is narrowing to a two-person race, Donald Trump said he will have to get used to Hillary Clinton’s shouting. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, ‘You never really get used to it.'” – Conan O’Brien

“A restaurant in Pennsylvania has started selling a pizza inspired by Hillary Clinton topped with buffalo chicken and hot sauce. They also have a Trump pizza, it doesn’t have any toppings but the crust is folded over to hide it.” – Seth Meyers

“In his campaign against Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump says he’s going to start quoting some of Bernie Sanders’ speeches. Which means Trump’s opening line will now be, ‘My nurse is stealing from me.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Today the Sanders campaign announced they’re downsizing and firing hundreds of people, but he’s vowed to stay in the race until the race ends in June or until his life ends. I’m trying to say he’s old. There was a miscommunication, I guess.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Sanders offered Elizabeth Warren to be his running mate. Bernie said the women of this country understand it would be a great idea to have a woman as vice president. Yeah, or as president, right?” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Today, Carly Fiorina was announced as Ted Cruz’s running mate. Fiorina said it’s always been her lifelong dream to lose twice in the same election.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Earlier today, despite losing five primaries, Ted Cruz stunned everybody by announcing his vice presidential candidate is Carly Fiorina. This means Fiorina is now just a heartbeat away from never being president.” – Conan O’Brien

“You almost have to hand it to Ted Cruz. Even though he lost all five primaries, today he named a running mate. He named Carly Fiorina as his running mate. For what, I don’t know. Maybe they plan to go running together.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Should he win the nomination, Ted Cruz has selected former Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina as his running mate. But, unfortunately, he did so by announcing, ‘Ted Cruz has HP VP!'” – Seth Meyers

“Former presidential candidates Martin O’Malley and Mike Huckabee might actually be starting a bipartisan band together. The band has a great way to make money: Their concerts are free, but earplugs cost $200.” – Jimmy Fallon

“ISIS has reportedly started rolling out ‘reductions in benefits’ to try to cut down costs. And now al-Qaeda is trying to compete with them by launching ‘Osamacare’.” – Seth Meyers

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London’s New Mayor

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Europe has been experiencing far more radical Islamic terrorism lately (especially compared to the US – thanks Obama!), which makes it doubly amazing that London, England just elected a Muslim mayor in a landslide victory. This, despite the fact that Conservatives have won a number of electoral victories lately.

But the Conservatives miscalculated on this one. They attempted a dog whistle campaign attempting to paint him as sympathetic to Islamic extremists. Just before the vote, the Conservatives published an op-ed piece that was illustrated with a photo of a terrorist attack in London. But their racist attacks backfired on them. Even fellow Conservatives expressed shame and anger over their own party’s attacks during the mayoral race.

The new mayor, Sadiq Khan, was born in London to Pakistani immigrants, and went on to become a civil rights lawyer and in 2005, London’s first Muslim member of Parliament. He was elected mayor with the largest personal mandate of any politician in UK history. At his inauguration Khan pledged to be a mayor for people of all faiths and none, saying “I’m determined to lead the most transparent, engaged and accessible administration London has ever seen, and to represent every single community and every single part of our city as a mayor for Londoners”.

We can only hope that racist politics can backfire in the US as well.

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Trump Calls Obama to Chat

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Jimmy Fallon dons his Trump persona and calls Obama to gloat.

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Late Night Political Humor

Auditing Trump

The Election

Irony from West Virginia

Who is to Blame for the Incredible Trump?

Jon Stewart on Hillary Clinton

Trump Might Just Destroy the World Economy

Bad Hair Day

Hillary Clinton is a Progressive

Return of Church Lady

Republicans Should Apologise to Bill Clinton

Angry Tweets

Late Night Political Humor

London’s New Mayor

Trump Calls Obama to Chat

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