Political Irony

Upside Down

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

This explains why whenever Donald Trump opens his mouth, he upsets everything.

Some people seem to think that Trump’s role as a wrecking ball is a good thing, that the US needs to be destroyed so it can be rebuilt. But can any of those people think of another country that is better off than the US? Of course we have our problems, but most countries have similar problems, or worse. It is hard to believe that tearing everything down will result in making anything better — it will mainly give an opportunity for special interests to gain even more power. Besides, when the Republicans have had the opportunity to rebuild a state the way they claim they want it, like they did in Kansas and Wisconsin, the result has often been a disaster for everyone (well, except for those special interests, of course). My feeling is that the only people who are going to gain from a Trump presidency are Trump and his family. And Vladimir Putin.

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Late Night Political Humor

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

[Jokes from July 14, 2016]

“Donald Trump is expected to officially announce his running mate at an event tomorrow and all week reports said it was down to three finalists: Mike Pence, Chris Christie, or those two candidates combined, Newt Gingrich.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Newt Gingrich praised Donald Trump in a new interview and said he’s like a figure out of a movie. Yeah, he’s the monkey from ‘Outbreak.'” – Seth Meyers

“A new report says that former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice recently rejected an offer from Donald Trump to be his running mate. When Trump’s people asked why she rejected the offer, she said, ‘For the last time, I’m Whoopi Goldberg.'” – Seth Meyers

“CBS News has learned that Donald Trump has chosen Indiana Gov. Mike Pence. Now, it turns out when the story that Trump picked him was being reported, Trump hadn’t called Mike Pence yet. So Mike, if you are watching, ‘Surprise!'” – Stephen Colbert

“According to a poll that just came out, Donald Trump is getting zero percent of the black vote in some states. Trump said, ‘Don’t worry, by the time the election comes around I will double that.'” – Conan O’Brien

“In the key swing states of Ohio and Pennsylvania Trump is currently getting zero percent support from black voters. Obviously every poll has a margin of error, so it can actually be negative 3 percent.” – Stephen Colbert

“A new survey shows that Donald Trump is polling at zero percent among black voters in Ohio and Pennsylvania. I don’t know. That seems a little high.” – Seth Meyers

“Today was National Hotdog Day and to celebrate, Donald Trump spent a few hours on the rollers at 7-Eleven to work on his color.” – Seth Meyers

“Former quarterback Tim Tebow is scheduled to speak at next week’s Republican Convention. Trump was even going to have Tebow throw his signature hats into the crowd, but he wasn’t sure they’d make it.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The latest polls show that Hillary Clinton is tied with Donald Trump. Ever since the damning FBI report about Hillary Clinton’s private email servers came out, her poll numbers have not looked good. Though the truth is she may have much better numbers hidden on her private server. We don’t know.” – Stephen Colbert

“Britain has a new foreign secretary, and the new foreign secretary once likened Hillary Clinton to a ‘sadistic nurse’. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, ‘Man, I wish.'” – Conan O’Brien

“We are just a few weeks from the start of the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro. The mayor of Rio is trying to get Pokémon Go in the city ahead of the Summer Games. So now you can go to Rio and catch two things.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump said he wishes he had the time to play Pokémon Go. When she heard that, Hillary Clinton said, ‘Oh, you will.'” – Conan O’Brien

“The mayor of Rio is pleading with Nintendo to release Pokémon Go in Brazil just in time for the Olympics. He’s even introduced Rio’s own Pokémon character, ‘Zikachu’.” – Conan O’Brien

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Many Happy Returns?

Monday, August 1, 2016

Somebody has to have hacked into Donald Trump’s tax returns by now. But I guess WikiLeaks is too busy leaking DNC emails showing that the Democrats weren’t nice to Sanders. Maybe potential evidence that Trump is a pawn of the Russians is less interesting to them.

Meanwhile, Trump continues to be in the pocket of the Russians. On TV on Sunday, Trump was asked about Vladimir Putin’s designs on the Ukraine. His response stunned his interviewer, George Stephanopoulos:

He’s not going into Ukraine, OK, just so you understand. He’s not going to go into Ukraine, all right? You can mark it down. You can put it down. You can take it anywhere you want.

Trump apparently isn’t aware (or forgot) that Russia already invaded the Ukraine in 2014 (not that long ago!) and took Crimea from them by force. So Russia is already occupying part of the Ukraine.

Trump attempted damage control today, tweeting that he meant that Putin would not going into the Ukraine if he were president. But that doesn’t make sense either, since Putin is already in the Ukraine and will certainly still be there even if Trump is elected.

Stephanopoulos also asked Trump about his repeated claims that he has a personal relationship with Putin. For example, in one of the Republican primary debates, Trump said of Putin “I got to know him very well because we were both on ’60 Minutes,’ we were stablemates.” But now Trump has changed his story. He replied to Stephanopoulos:

I have no relationship with Putin. I have no relationship with Putin. Just so you understand, he said very nice things about me. But I have no relationship with him. I don’t — I’ve never met him.

Trump also agreed with Putin’s argument that he was justified in seizing the Crimea by force, saying “I’m going to take a look at it. But you know, the people of Crimea, from what I’ve heard, would rather be with Russia than where they were.” And Trump has recently said that he might not do anything if Russia invaded our NATO allies.

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American Jobs?

Monday, August 1, 2016

If Donald Trump is promising to create jobs for Americans, why is he hiring foreigners to work at his American resorts? He claims he can’t find any workers, but a local employment agency says that they have plenty of Americans looking for those kind of jobs.

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Late Night Political Humor

Monday, August 1, 2016

[Jokes from July 13, 2016]

“For his running mate, Donald Trump says he’s looking for someone with experience in areas he doesn’t have. So right now Trump is looking for someone who can run a profitable casino.” – Conan O’Brien

“It’s being reported that Donald Trump’s list of running mates is now down to just two people! And they are Chris Christie.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The Republican Party is coming out strongly against online pornography. Man, they really do not want to win this election.” – Conan O’Brien

“In a recent interview, Jeb Bush compared Donald Trump to the Kardashians, saying, quote, ‘The Kardashians wouldn’t exist if we didn’t enjoy watching them.’ When asked who his favorite Kardashian is, Jeb said, ‘Rob – ‘cuz he’s the brother nobody wants to talk about.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“When asked about Bernie Sanders’ endorsement of Hillary Clinton, Clinton’s campaign manager told reports that the two actually had a fairly easy time in determining Sanders’ role in the campaign. Bernie will be in charge of translating her speeches for the hearing impaired.” – Seth Meyers

“Elizabeth Warren has been invited to give an address on the first night of the Democratic Convention. Hillary Clinton will give the address on the final night — and Bernie Sanders will be given the wrong address so that he misses the convention entirely.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Pundits are saying that new British prime minister, Theresa May, is following in the footsteps of Margaret Thatcher, known as ‘The Iron Lady,’ with some in the media calling May ‘dull as porridge,’ ‘extremely dependable,’ and ‘not humorous.’ Said Hillary Clinton, ‘Ugh, I would kill for reviews that good.'” – Seth Meyers

“The Pokémon craze just seems to be getting bigger. In fact, I read that even members of Congress have been trying to catch Pokémon in the U.S. Capitol. Meanwhile, Pokémon were like, ‘Oh my God — I just caught a congressman at WORK!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“A restaurant in China forces customers to solve complex math problems before they can order their meal. The restaurant has no plans to expand to the United States.” – Conan O’Brien

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Debatable

Sunday, July 31, 2016

On Friday, Trump accused Hillary Clinton of rigging the presidential debate schedule, tweeting:

Debates

There’s just one problem with that — it is a complete fabrication. “Hillary & the Dems” had nothing to do with the presidential debate schedule. While the primary debates are scheduled by the political parties, the debates for the general election were scheduled back in September 2015 (almost a year ago) by the non-partisan Commission on Presidential Debates. That was before either candidate was known, and long before the NFL schedule was revealed in April 2016.

But Trump doesn’t care about facts.

So why is Trump complaining? One answer is that he is afraid of the debates, and is looking for an excuse to skip out on them. Just like he came up with lame reasons to not release his tax returns. He reminds me of a petulant child.

Maybe he is too lazy to spend the time preparing for the debates, or he’s afraid that Clinton, the policy wonk, will make him look like a fool. Trump is probably still smarting from when people made fun of him because he didn’t know what our country’s nuclear triad meant.

Even if Trump doesn’t remember, Mark Cuban is happy to remind him. Cuban tweeted “Im going to go out on a limb and say that @realDonaldTrump will do everything possible not to debate @HillaryClinton” and “Trump’s biggest debate fear is that @HillaryClinton will make up an acronym for a non-existent agency & DJT will respond thinking it’s real”.

In addition to not knowing anything about our nuclear deterrent, Trump has also confused the Quds (the Iranian Revolutionary Guards — bad guys) with the Kurds (good guys), and wasn’t able to tell the difference between Hamas and Hezbollah, two principle adversaries of Israel.

When Trump screws up answering a question, he almost always attacks the questioner for asking “gotcha questions”. That may have worked during the Republican primary, but it is debatable whether it will play when the stakes are higher and the two candidates to be our commander in chief are facing off on national TV.

Or Trump may be afraid that if he crudely attacks a woman during a debate, like he did Carly Fiorina, it could backfire on him. During a primary debate, “the audience, especially women, erupted in cheers” and Fiorina got a “roaring ovation” when she responded to Trump’s attack.

UPDATE: Electoral Vote points out how disastrous a debate could be for Donald Trump. Just imagine what could happen if Trump gets asked one or more of the following questions:

In a debate, you boasted of your close relationship with Jordan’s King Hussein, who had died 20 years ago. What is your relationship with his son and heir, King Abdullah?

You have confused Virginia’s Tim Kaine with New Jersey’s Tom Kean, as you did Hamas with Hezbollah, the Quds force with al Qaida, etc. Should a president have difficulty distinguishing things with similar names?

The most respected nonpartisan fact-checking organization finds less than one out of every six things you say to be true. In one of your books, you wrote about the advantages of exaggerating, of saying things that are not true. Why should anyone believe what you say?

You have said that you are 100% pro-choice. You even asked your pregnant mistress if she was going to have an abortion. More recently you said that the law should punish any woman who has an abortion. What do you believe now and why?

You have accumulated wealth by stiffing contractors, saddling investors with the burdens of your bankruptcies, manufacturing products overseas, and importing workers for your casinos. How have you demonstrated your concern for American workers?

Why do you think Americans will be safer if Japan and South Korea develop nuclear weapons?

Why would you like Vladimir Putin to absorb the Crimean peninsula and the Baltic countries into Russia?

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Trumper Tantrum!

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Donald Trump famously has a very thin skin. If you say something negative about him, he attacks you and calls you names. Well, unless he wants something from you.

But the worst thing you can do to Trump is not pay attention to him. It wouldn’t surprise me if he started a nuclear war just to spite someone or get attention.

While Trump is good at blustering and bloviating, Hillary Clinton is relatively boring. Which is a very good thing. But she has already achieved something historic, and that’s not boring at all.

UPDATE: That was quick — we already have a new Trumper Tantrum. On Saturday, Trump fought back against Khizr Khan, the Muslim man whose son died an American war hero in Iraq, and who gave a powerful speech at the DNC. Khan said that Trump has “sacrificed nothing” for his country.

So of course, Trump is throwing a hissy fit, saying “I think I’ve made a lot of sacrifices. I work very, very hard.” And adding that he has created “thousands and thousands of jobs”, and has raised “millions of dollars” for veterans. Of course, the Washington Post discovered that Trump lied about the amount of money he raised for veterans. Furthermore, that isn’t the first time Trump lied about his charitable giving.

In the same interview, Trump doubled down, and for good measure started talking trash about Khan’s wife, Ghazala, who stood next to her husband during his speech but did not speak. Trump said she looked “like she had nothing to say”. He then added “She probably, maybe she wasn’t allowed to have anything to say. You tell me.”

But just the day before, an interview with Ghazala Khan was broadcast on MSNBC, which puts the lie to Trump. In that interview she said she didn’t speak at the convention because she is still overwhelmed by grief, and could not look at her son’t photos without crying.

Trump has absolutely no shame.

UPDATE 2: Trump’s tone-deaf protests that he has suffered hardships “prompted ridicule on Twitter under the hashtag #TrumpSacrifices, with users listing such hardships as flying commercial class and playing on a municipal golf course.”

Trump’s attacks on Khizr and Ghazala Khan prompted rebukes from both Democrats and Republicans. But Trump just continued the attacks, saying “While I feel deeply for the loss of his son, Mr Khan, who has never met me, has no right to stand in front of millions of people and claim I have never read the Constitution, (which is false) and say many other inaccurate things.” During his DNC speech, Khan questioned the constitutionality of Trump’s proposed ban on Muslims, and asked if Trump had even read the constitution or visited Arlington National Cemetery. But apparently Trump doesn’t understand rhetorical questions.

In response to Trump’s continued attacks, Khan responded, saying:

What he said originally — that defines him … People are upset with him. He realizes, and his advisers feel that [his original statement] was a stupid mistake. That proves that this person is void of empathy. He is unfit for the stewardship of this great country. You think he will empathize with this country, with the suffering of this country’s poor people? He showed his true colors when he disrespected this country’s most honorable mother… all the snake oil he is selling, and my patriotic, decent Americans are falling for that. Republicans are falling for that. And I can only appeal to them. Reconsider. Repudiate. It’s a moral obligation. A person void of empathy for the people he wishes to lead cannot be trusted with that leadership. To vote is a trust. And it cannot be placed in wrong hands.

As for Trump’s attacks on his wife, Khan said that Trump’s words were “typical of a person without a soul.”

Emotionally and physically — she just couldn’t even stand there, and when we left, as soon as we got off camera, she just broke down. And the people inside, the staff, were holding her, consoling her. She was just totally emotionally spent. Only those parents that have lost their son or daughter could imagine the pain that such a memory causes. Especially when a tribute is being paid. I was holding myself together, because one of us had to be strong. Normally, she is the stronger one. But in the matter of Humayun, she just breaks down any time anyone mentions it.

Trump and Christie

UPDATE 3: The Washington Post this morning published an article by Ghazala Khan. You should read the whole thing, but the last paragraph is “Donald Trump said he has made a lot of sacrifices. He doesn’t know what the word sacrifice means.”

And incidentally, even though Trump claims to have read the constitution, apparently it didn’t stick. Earlier this month, Trump spoke to congressional Republicans and told them that he would be the “best constitutional president ever” and promised to protect “Article XII”. However, the constitution only has seven articles. Oh, and he also told the Republicans that golf legend Jack Nicklaus would be attending the RNC, but Nicklaus’ spokesman said that was “inaccurate”. It is a good thing for Trump that we have so many ways to describe a “lie”.

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Pensive Hypocrisy

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Friday, VP nominee Mike Pence appeared on conservative Hugh Hewitt’s radio show and condemned President Obama for referring to Donald Trump as a “homegrown demogogue”. Pence said, seemingly without irony “I don’t think name-calling has any place in public life. And I thought that was unfortunate that the president of the United States would use a term like that.”

Is Pence unaware of who his running mate is? According to the Washington Post, “At almost exactly the same time as the Pence transcript was being sent out to reporters, here’s what Trump was tweeting:”

Trump name-calling

And that doesn’t even include “Lyin’ Ted Cruz”, or all of the “losers” and “morons”. Heck, is there anyone that Trump hasn’t called a name, other than Vladimir Putin?

UPDATE: The New York Times has a list of 250 people, places, and things that Donald Trump has insulted on Twitter, including the names he has called them. They keep the list updated, so it continues to grow. They highlight the insults that are from the last 60 days. And no, Putin is not on the list. The winner of receiving the most insults is Hillary Clinton. Trump must really be afraid of her.

My favorites include him insulting CNN for being “so negative”. And insulting a podium/lectern in the Oval Office as being “not good” and “looks odd”. He even insulted a song by Neil Young after being asked to stop using it at his campaign events. He insulted five countries (Britain, Germany, Iran, Mexico, and Saudi Arabia, but not Russia).

He has also insulted just about every Republican politician, including those who support him, and the Republican Party.

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Release the Tax Returns

Friday, July 29, 2016

There are lies, and there are damn lies.

In a TV interview with CBS, Trump’s campaign manager said “Mr. Trump has said that his taxes are under audit and he will not be releasing them. It has nothing to do with Russia, it has nothing to do with any country other than the United States, and his normal tax auditing processes — so that issue will be dealt with when the audits are done.”

How stupid does he think we are? Absolutely nothing prevents a person being audited from releasing their tax returns. In fact, Richard “I am not a crook” Nixon released his tax returns, even though he had been under an audit. Ironically, a congressional investigation determined that Nixon had cheated on his taxes and owed the government a half a million dollars (which would be over 2 million dollars in today’s dollars).

And in February of 2015, Trump said he would “certainly” release his personal tax returns. He told a conservative radio host “I would release tax returns” and “I have no objection to certainly showing tax returns.”

More recently, according to the recent reports and posts made by a Scottsdale financial planning research manager, in January, Trump again promised that the returns were forthcoming. By May, after he became the presumptive nominee, he changed his tune, saying “So, the answer is, I’ll release. Hopefully before the election I’ll release. And I’d like to release.” His excuse then was that the hold up was the audit. But even then the Associated Press reported that Trump told them that he “doesn’t believe he has an obligation to release his tax returns and won’t release them before November unless an ongoing audit of his finances is completed before Election Day.”

Bottom line — “Trump’s vows to release his tax returns, like so many of his promises, were totally worthless. And his stated reason—that he is under audit by the IRS—doesn’t hold up either.”

In an interview Wednesday, Trump continued to obfuscate. Responding to allegations that Russia leaked the DNC emails to aid his campaign, Trump claimed “I mean I have nothing to do with Russia. I don’t have any jobs in Russia. I’m all over the world but we’re not involved in Russia.” In fact, Trump tried to build some properties in Russia, but they fell through. Trump may have no jobs in Russia, but he certainly has taken tons of money from Russians, including those with strong ties to the Russian government. So saying he has “nothing to do with Russia” is bullshit. The Washington Post fact checker gave Trump four Pinocchios for that statement.

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LMGTFY

Friday, July 29, 2016

Donald Trump Jr., Let Me Google That For You.

I’m sure everybody knows how Trump’s wife Melania got in trouble for plagiarizing parts of her convention speech from First Lady Michelle Obama’s 2008 Democratic convention speech. I guess Trump’s son, Donald Jr., was trying to get his revenge. So today, Jr claimed that Barack Obama, in his DNC speech last night, stole the line “That is not the America I know” from Trump Jr’s RNC speech last week.

There’s just one problem. If you Google the phrase “That is not the America I know” you will get many many hits. Including of course, Barack Obama, in a speech in 2010 (and several other times). Or George W Bush, in a speech in 2001 where he spoke about tolerance for Muslims at a mosque. Or Hillary Clinton. Of course, it only took a few minutes for the internet to point this out to Donald, Jr.

Donald Jr., which one of them did you steal it from? Next time you might want to check your facts before accusing the president of stealing something. Especially when doing so will remind everyone about what your step-mom just did.

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The Devil in the Details

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Look, as someone who has started and run companies that did a lot of marketing, I understand what Trump is doing. He is “selling the sizzle, not the (Trump) steak”. Details and specifics just get in the way of removing money from your customers’ pockets. As a casino owner, he knows that his customers are gamblers who are attracted to the allure of money and glamor, no matter how false. That’s what he does, so he treats voters the same.

If you Google Trump’s official website and click on it, all you see is one page hitting you up for money. Here are the only details from that page:

To every parent who dreams for their child, and every child who dreams for their future, I say these words to you:

I’m With You, and I will FIGHT for you, and I will WIN for YOU.

This is a MOVEMENT. Contribute today.

That’s all you need to know. Send money to Trump, a billionaire who promised to self fund his campaign so he would never be beholden to special interests.

Trump called his opponents “puppets” for using super PACs and for taking contributions from wealthy donors that he said always come with strings attached, but he just totally flip-flopped. Ironically, the chairman of his new super PAC is Florida governor Rick Scott, who has used his position as governor to enrich himself.

In the press release for the new super PAC, the first thing Scott says is “It’s time for us to fire the politicians. That’s what this election is all about.” That’s right, a sitting politician is promising that he will fire the politicians. And the super PAC itself will be run by veteran Republican operatives like Chris Christie’s former campaign manager and people like Alex Castellanos, who used to work for Mitt Romney and the Bush family.

Even though the super PAC was just formed, it has already received a $2 million contribution from a California real estate developer, and $100,000 from the nation’s largest coal company. So Trump, what strings were attached to those contributions?

Back to Trump’s official website. Like I said, it was just one page asking for money, with no links to anything else. But I’m persistent and finally figured it out. Way down, the last thing on the page, in small type are the words “Privacy Policy”. If you click that, you are taken to a page that has links to the “details”. So let’s look at them.

The very first link on the page is “Issues”. If you click on that, the very first thing on that page, and four times larger than anything else on the page, is a video titled “FORMER STUDENTS SPEAK OUT IN SUPPORT OF TRUMP UNIVERSITY”. And if you scroll down, the last thing on the page is another video titled “TRUMP UNIVERSITY TRUTH”. I am not kidding you.

UPDATE: Trump’s lack of specifics, or even predictability, seems to be working on some people. In an interview, Julian Assange of WikiLeaks made it clear that he was working to harm Hillary Clinton and keep her from being elected, adding that he not only opposed her candidacy on policy grounds, but that he considered her a personal foe. When asked if he would prefer Trump to be president, Assange gave the excuse that what Trump would do as president was “completely unpredictable”.

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Late Night Political Humor

Thursday, July 28, 2016

[Jokes from July 12, 2016]

“The L.A. Times just revealed that Bill Clinton has demanded private jets to get to speaking engagements. In their defense, Bill and Hillary need private jets ‘cuz they’re the only planes that can fit ALL of their baggage.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Today, Bernie Sanders officially endorsed Hillary Clinton at a rally in New Hampshire. Hillary said she’s glad Bernie is behind her 100 percent, then Bernie said, ‘Let’s just start off with 1 percent.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Bernie Sanders’ endorsement of Hillary Clinton has angered many of his supporters. Many of them are threatening to not vote for her when they don’t vote in November.” – Conan O’Brien

“Sadly, today we lost the bravest tribute of all. A man who we actually lost months ago, but who courageously kept pretending not to be dead because, today, Bernie Sanders endorsed Hillary Clinton.” – Stephen Colbert

“Bernie Sanders endorsed Hillary Clinton this afternoon and told his supporters that while he lost the primary, the revolution continues. Though I don’t think he should have ended by saying, ‘Seize her!'” – Seth Meyers

“This morning, Bernie Sanders endorsed Hillary Clinton. So, as promised, this afternoon, the Clinton campaign released Bernie Sanders’ wife.” – Conan O’Brien

“Bernie Sanders gave a speech where he endorsed Hillary Clinton, effectively ending his campaign. When asked what he’ll do next, Bernie was like, ‘Live my dream and be a contestant on ‘The Bachelorette’!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Before giving his endorsement, Bernie Sanders noted that Hillary only has 389 more pledged delegates than him going into the convention. Then he said, ‘But I, on the other hand, have caught 400 more Pokémon!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“The game Pokémon Go is actually making people visit remote, potentially dangerous areas. On the bright side, they finally found a way to get people to attend the Rio Olympics.” – Conan O’Brien

“The Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. has had to ask visitors to stop coming there to catch Pokémon characters because they say it’s inappropriate. The players said, ‘We’re so sorry, can you direct us to the Vietnam Memorial?'” – Conan O’Brien

“The Washington Times is now reporting that Indiana Gov. Mike Pence has a 95 percent chance of being Donald Trump’s pick for vice president. I’m not saying Chris Christie’s upset, but he was last seen at the top of the Empire State Building swatting at planes.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Over the weekend, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said that Donald Trump ‘says whatever comes into his head.’ To which Trump responded, ‘That is not true, clambucket pencil raft!'” – Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump has begun referring to himself as the ‘law and order’ candidate, while his sons look more like ‘Law & Order’ suspects.” – Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump has begun referring to himself as the ‘law and order’ candidate, though I think that title should go to Hillary, since she’s also been running for the last 25 years.” – Seth Meyers

“Last week Donald Trump vowed to protect Article 12 of the Constitution despite the fact that the Constitution only has seven articles. Said Trump, ‘I don’t know. I don’t read it for the articles.'” – Seth Meyers

“The Republican National Convention is next week. Quick programming note — the ‘Late Show’ will be live every single night. So tune in for a mockery of our political system — and then watch the ‘Late Show!'” – Stephen Colbert

“We in the media have enjoyed every minute of this knock-down, drag-out fight, reveling in the political fisticuffs like it’s some kind of vicious blood sport — like it’s the ‘Hunger games.’ No, it’s worse than that. It’s the Hungry for Power Games!” – Stephen Colbert

“Gay Republicans are pushing for pro-LGBT language in the GOP platform. In response, the GOP said, ‘Not gonna happen, girlfriend.'” – Conan O’Brien

“So few remain. But the bar is closing and America has to go home with someone.” – Stephen Colbert

“Jeb Bush yesterday said in an interview that Donald Trump is a master at understanding how the media works. Whereas Jeb did the entire interview with the lens cap on.” – Seth Meyers

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More Republican Racism

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

In her speech at the Democratic National Convention last night, Michelle Obama beautifully talked about the progress that has been made in America:

That is the story of this country, the story that has brought me to this stage tonight, the story of generations of people who felt the lash of bondage, the shame of servitude, the sting of segregation, but who kept on striving and hoping and doing what needed to be done so that today I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves.

And I watch my daughters, two beautiful, intelligent, black young women playing with their dogs on the White House lawn.

And because of Hillary Clinton, my daughters and all our sons and daughters now take for granted that a woman can be president of the United States.

So, look, so don’t let anyone ever tell you that this country isn’t great, that somehow we need to make it great again. Because this right now is the greatest country on earth!

But conservative media immediately jumped on one small part of one sentence “I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves”, pulling it out of context to make it sound like Obama was complaining about slavery, rather than rejoicing in how far we have come as a nation. They also questioned whether it was true that the White House was built by slaves. Unfortunately for them, reality continues to have a liberal bias. Historians say that there is no debate about the use of slaves to build the White House, and many other buildings in early America.

Michelle Malkin claimed Obama “stretched the truth” and linked to an article that asserts that the government paid the slaves who worked on the White House”. But in reality, it wasn’t the slaves themselves who were paid, but rather their masters. That’s a big difference.

The conservative site NewsBusters quibbled about Obama’s statement by pointing out that the White House had been “renovated multiple times” since being built by slaves. I guess that is supposed to make it all better.

Bill O’Reilly on Fox News finally admitted that Obama was “essentially correct” about slavery, but then tried to excuse it by claiming that the slaves were “well-fed and had decent lodging”.

What bullshit. Washington DC was built on a mosquito-infested swamp, and the living quarters provided for slaves were “not much more than huts.”

O’Reilly also pointed out that the federal government stopped using slave labor in 1802, but failed to mention that the White House was finished before then. And even so, subcontractors continued to use slave labor on construction jobs for the government.

Why are Republicans so incensed about talking about slavery, to the point where they take Obama’s statement of hope and progress and try to either deny it or make excuses for it. Does it get in the way of their nostalgia for the old times, which they need in order to believe that we can “make America great again”? As Obama said in her speech, America, right now, is the greatest country on earth. Not despite its past, but in part because of it. We’ve come a long way, even just in the recent past.

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DNC Demographics

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Many pundits talk about the profound influence of demographics on US elections, but what about the demographics of the national conventions of the political parties. Other than an observation of the dance skills of RNC attendees, what do we know about the relative makeup of the conventions?

Without further ado, here is Scott Bateman’s ironic comparison of the demographics of the two major conventions:

And speaking of “Trump’s Shady-Ass Russian Pals”, new evidence strongly links the hacker of the DNC emails to Russia. In summary:

While the FBI is still investigating the hack of the DNC servers, evidence is mounting that the hacker, known as Guccifer 2.0 and who may well be a group of people rather than one individual, is based in Russia. Guccifer 2.0 communicates with journalists using different email accounts each time, to make it harder to trace the true origin. But it now appears the anonymity software being used is associated with a Website, Elite VPN, that is largely in Russian. When the cybersecurity firm ThreatConnect tried signing up for an account, they discovered the entire signup process was only in Russian. Guccifer 2.0 claims to be a Romanian, but when he sends messages in Romanian, they are clunky and give the impression they were produced by an online translation service.

The software used to hide Guccifer 2.0’s identify is only one piece of evidence indicating a Russian connection. The service used is not free and the payment methods use Russian financial institutions. The methods, tools, and command servers used in the DNC hack have been used by Russian intelligence before. Rich Barger, CIO and cofounder of ThreatConnect, said: “The noose is tightening around Russia.” If it turns out that the Russian government is trying to influence a U.S. election, the consequences could be unforeseen and severe, including a possible new Cold War.

Filed in Irony | Comments (4)

RNC Dance Moves

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

I’m not really sure why I find this so funny, but I do. I hope you enjoy it.

From Funny or Die.

Filed in Humor | Comments (1)

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