“Prince William and his bride are expecting her second baby. That’s pretty quick for Kate to have a second baby. It’s almost as if producing an heir is her job.” – Craig Ferguson “The royal couple had to keep Kate’s pregnancy secret from the rest of the royal family. And that’s not easy because Prince […]
“On Friday President Obama made a surprise visit to Stonehenge on his way back from the NATO summit in Wales. And even crazier — today he made a surprise visit to the White House.” – Jimmy Fallon “Over the weekend President Obama visited Stonehenge. Yes, the cold, rigid entity no one can quite figure out […]
“Happy Birthday to New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who turns 52 years old tomorrow. The star of TLC’s show ‘Cake Boss’ is actually making the cake for Chris Christie’s birthday party. In fact, I hear he’s even making the cake in the shape of Christie’s favorite thing: cake.” – Jimmy Fallon “Of course, it’ll get […]
“President Obama will attend a NATO summit in Wales this week with 67 other world leaders. He’s trying to project strength, so the White House says he’ll be wearing his toughest shade of tan suit.” – Jimmy Fallon “President Obama will be at a NATO summit, where he will discuss the recent actions of Vladimir […]
“President Obama shows up at a press conference and he’s wearing a beige suit. Well, this drives the Republicans crazy. It’s nothing but, ‘How could he?’ and ‘What’s he trying to pull?’ Republicans would just rather have a beige President.” – David Letterman “Over the weekend the White House chef married an MSNBC news anchor. […]
“According to a report from the United Nations, the damage from global warming could be irreversible. It’s clear we need to do something. We need to give the Earth the ice bucket challenge.” – Jimmy Kimmel “In Washington state you can now smoke weed. But they have something I’ve never heard of. It’s weed soda. […]
© Jen Sorensen At some point, did we stop being a nation of laws? When will the powerful — bankers, police, politicians, even the president — be held to the same standards as the poor? Is that really too much to ask?
“Missouri Governor Jay Nixon apparently sent the National Guard to Ferguson without letting the White House know first. When he heard he was left out of such an important decision, Obama said, ‘Holy crap, I’ve been Bidened!’” – Jimmy Fallon “Yesterday Egypt’s foreign ministry called on the United States to show respect for the rights […]
“Texas Governor Rick Perry has been indicted after he threatened to veto funding for a district attorney’s office unless she stepped down. He’s now the most controversial governor in the country – which is why today he got a gift basket from Chris Christie.” – Jimmy Fallon “Rumor has it that Texas Gov. Rick Perry […]
“A new poll found that Rob Ford has fallen into second place in the race for Toronto mayor. Yeah, it’s bad news for Ford, and even worse news for my monologue.” – Jimmy Fallon “This week a town in Minnesota elected a dog named Duke as its mayor. Yeah, they elected a mayor that pees […]
“President Obama is apparently back on speaking terms with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan. I guess their disagreements over Israel have made their relationship somewhat complicated. But not as complicated as the name, ‘Recep Tayyip Erdogan’.” – Jimmy Fallon “There’s a luxury Middle Eastern airline that’s going to start offering first-class passengers a suite […]
“President Obama went to the beach yesterday while he’s vacationing on Martha’s Vineyard. Which got weird when he took out his metal detector to search for $16 trillion in quarters.” – Jimmy Fallon “During a fundraiser last night, President Obama suggested that one or more Supreme Court justices may retire soon. Which got awkward when […]
© Ruben Bolling The Supreme Court makes Pinocchio due for a rewrite, now that the easiest way to create a real person is to incorporate. Of course, in the fairy tale, greedy and bad boys are turned into donkeys on Pleasure Island. Too bad that doesn’t happen in real life, or we would have a […]
“Former Congressman Anthony Weiner is back. He’s opening a new restaurant that will specialize in healthy local food. It’s the first restaurant with a sign on the door that reads: ‘No Shoes, No Shirt, No Pants, No Underwear, No Hats …’ It just keeps going. It’s a long list.” – Jimmy Fallon “Former New York […]
Abortion Bush Campaign Finance Cheney Climate Clinton Congress Conservatives Corporations Corruption Deficits Democrats Drugs Economy Education Election Elections Energy Environment Fox News Gays Guns Health Immigration Lies McCain Media Middle East Obama Palin Protests Racism Religion Republicans Romney Spying Supreme Court Taxes Tea Party Terrorism Terrorists Torture Trump Unemployment War
