Helen Philpot (of Margaret and Helen) has a better grasp of religion that most of our presidential candidates: Margaret, here is the thing about religion: Faith is a wonderful thing until it becomes certainty; at which point it becomes fanaticism. If there was only one true religion, fanaticism wouldn’t be all that bad. But there’s […]
“All the new polls indicate that Donald Trump is getting more popular every day. Apparently his inspiring riches to riches story is really resonating with everyday Americans.” – Jimmy Kimmel “Right now members of the Republican National Committee are essentially the scientists in a movie realizing their creation has escaped from the lab.” – Jimmy […]
“Today is a special day. Today is women’s equality day. Donald Trump calls it ‘that time of the year again’.” – Conan O’Brien “Donald Trump presided over a rally in Dubuc, Iowa, where he touted his strong skills as a negotiator and showed off his considerable skills as an impressionist. I don’t know if Donald […]
Stephen Colbert debuts as himself, hosting the Late Show, and talking about Trump and Oreo cookies: You can watch the whole show on the CBS site.
“It’s come out that Donald Trump’s grandfather owned a brothel. When reached for comment Trump said, screwing people for money is a long family tradition.” – Conan O’Brien “There was a time when it seemed unimaginable that Joe Biden could ever be taken seriously enough to win his party’s nomination, but Donald Trump just blew […]
“Today the stock market plunged 600 points and One Direction announced they’re breaking up. Yes, both of these things happened. It was good timing for me because when people asked why I was sobbing uncontrollably, I was able to blame it on the stock market.” – Conan O’Brien “Today China’s stock market went down 8 […]
“In an interview this week, Jeb Bush said that if he had a magic wand, there are at least ten things that he would like change about the Constitution. Then Jeb Bush was given the prize for ‘lamest use of a magic wand’.” – Jimmy Fallon “A new poll shows that Jeb Bush is now […]
What are the chances that some pious presidential candidates would promise to protect this person’s religious freedom? UPDATE: Here’s an even better (and real) example. Have any presidential candidates expressed outrage that a Muslim flight attendant was suspended without pay from her job because she refused to serve alcohol in accordance with her Islamic faith? […]
“Donald Trump’s recent immigration plan would cost at least $166 billion. When asked how he’d pay for it, Trump was like, ‘No hablo inglés’.” – Jimmy Fallon “It has come out that implementing Donald Trump’s immigration policy would cost taxpayers $166 billion. Today Trump said, ‘So what? You spend the money, you declare bankruptcy, and […]
“Today is Bill Clinton’s birthday. Hillary sent Bill an e-birthday card and out of habit she immediately deleted it.” – Conan O’Brien “Today, Hillary Clinton released an ad that emphasized her humble economic background. In the ad she says, ‘Just 15 years ago, my family and I were evicted from our house.’” – Conan O’Brien […]
“Apparently President Obama’s favorite cocktail is a martini. When asked how he likes it, he said, ‘On the beach, in Hawaii, in 2017.’” – Jimmy Fallon “This week the Obama administration warned China to remove its secret agents from the U.S. Then in the middle of Obama’s announcement a plant behind him got up and […]
“There are reports that if Joe Biden runs for president, he would promise to serve for only one term — because nothing says confidence like promising your presidency would be over quickly.” – Jimmy Fallon “Donald Trump’s new policy paper would not give automatic citizenship to children born in America if they have foreign parents. […]
“According to a new report, the word that Donald Trump said most often in last week’s debate was ‘I’m’. The word he says the least: ‘Sorry’.” – Jimmy Fallon “Despite all of his sexist comments, 20 percent of Republican women still support Donald Trump. When asked why, the women said, ‘Because he’s paying us alimony.’” […]
“Bernie Sanders is polling at 44 percent among Democrats in New Hampshire and has passed Hillary Clinton as the Democratic front-runner. And in another new poll, zero percent of Hillary’s staffers wanted to be the one to bring her that news.” – Jimmy Fallon “Bernie Sanders is now leading Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire. He’s […]
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