A Brit living in the US tells us everything we need to know about today’s election in Canada, and breaks the law in the process: UPDATE: “A Resounding Liberal Victory in Canada“. The conservatives were routed, going from holding a majority 159 seats in parliament to 99 seats in yesterday’s election. The Liberal party went […]
“Last week, the firefighters’ union announced that it was no longer supporting Hillary for president. You know your campaign’s in trouble when firefighters are like, ‘Even WE can’t put out that many fires.’” – Jimmy Fallon “In an interview with Al Sharpton, Hillary Clinton said Donald Trump just says whatever he needs in order to […]
“I read that Donald Trump’s hotel chain may have experienced a data breach that may have exposed people’s debit and credit card information to hackers for more than a year. When asked how he planned on fixing the situation, Trump was like, ‘I’m going to build a huge firewall.’” – Jimmy Fallon “I do think […]
“Much to the dismay of many Republicans, a new report said Donald Trump is still leading in the polls, and one voter was quoted as saying, ‘Unfortunately, I’m leaning toward Trump.’ Even worse, that voter was Jeb Bush.” – Jimmy Fallon “A word association poll found the words most associated with Donald Trump are idiot, […]
“Lawyers for Kim Davis say the embattled county clerk was given a secret audience with Pope Francis last Thursday. And since it was a workday, her schedule was wide open.” – Seth Meyers “While visiting America, Pope Francis secretly met with Kim Davis, the county clerk who denied marriage licenses to gay couples. At first […]
Actual sound clips from Donald Trump, acted out by your drunk neighbor. You know, that guy who lives near you who has a drinking problem:
“President Obama and Vladimir Putin met yesterday at the U.N., but the White House and the Kremlin have been disagreeing about who asked whom to meet. For my younger viewers, that means they were arguing about who swiped right first.” – Jimmy Fallon “While in New York City, President Obama and Vladimir Putin met and […]
“Pope Francis wrapped up his trip to the U.S., and while he was in Philadelphia, the Pope visited a prison. He said he couldn’t believe how dirty and overcrowded it was, then his assistant said, ‘This is just the Amtrak station, we haven’t gotten to the prison yet.’” – Jimmy Fallon “People went absolutely gaga […]
“Yesterday as Pope Francis rode down Fifth Avenue, Donald Trump actually stepped out of Trump Tower with his son, Donald Jr., and got booed by the crowd. Then Trump was like, ‘I guess they really don’t like you Donald, Jr.!’” – Jimmy Fallon “This morning, Pope Francis addressed the U.N. General Assembly, and rode around […]
“I saw that Pope Francis held his first-ever prayer here in New York City earlier this evening. I guess it was halfway through his first New York City cab ride. ‘Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners…’” – Jimmy Fallon “Pope Francis is in America. Can you feel it? There is a certain […]
credit to David Roberts @drvox It could be worse.
“The big story right now is Pope Francis visiting the U.S., and I saw that yesterday, the Pope’s plane couldn’t land right away because he arrived earlier than planned. That’s right, the Pope’s flight was early. So I guess he really CAN perform miracles!” – Jimmy Fallon “New York City plans to deploy an extra […]
Stephen Colbert on the tendency for politicians to say things that are completely meaningless. The last minute is amazing: He’s especially harsh on Kevin McCarthy, showing a couple of video clips where the words coming out of his mouth are gibberish. This is from The Late Show Wednesday night, and Thursday McCarthy dropped out of […]
“Pope Francis arrived in Washington, D.C., today. I saw that President Obama actually picked him up at the airport. When asked how the Pope will get back to the airport, Obama was like, ‘Uber? I don’t know. It’s not my problem.’” – Jimmy Fallon “Pope Francis’ plane touched down in Washington at 4 pm. I […]
More evidence that America is becoming a third-world country, from Trevor Howard on The Daily Show:
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