At least his skin is the right color. UPDATE: A reader sends links to conservative writers who actually believe this, and make the case that it is the Empire, not the rebels, that is the force for good in the Star Wars universe. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/act-four/wp/2015/10/29/the-destruction-of-alderaan-was-completely-justified/ http://www.weeklystandard.com/the-case-for-the-empire/article/2540
This is one of my favorite things from Tom Tomorrow each year. © Tom Tomorrow
“Donald Trump claimed to have ‘many Muslim friends’. However, when asked for specific names, the only one he could come up with was ‘The Genie from ‘Aladdin’.” – Conan O’Brien “Donald Trump’s popular ‘Make America Great Again’ hats are actually made at a California factory that employs Mexican immigrants. Even more embarrassing for Trump, his […]
© Benjamin Schwartz Andy Borowitz also has some satire that is worth reading, about Shkreli’s lawyer raising his rates 5000% after his client was arrested. If you have seen something funny about Shkreli, please post a link to it in the comments.
“In a recent interview, Ben Carson said that Thomas Jefferson wrote the U.S. Constitution, when he actually wrote the Declaration of Independence. Or as Carson’s campaign staff put it, ‘Close enough!” – Jimmy Fallon “Donald Trump was recently being interviewed, and said that he’s not a fan of the man bun trend, and wouldn’t want […]
“The group Anonymous, an international network of computer hackers who attack websites and steal personal information in the name of justice, announced last week that they are going to war with ISIS. As if ISIS didn’t already have its hands full, now they have to change all their passwords!” – James Corden “So far, Anonymous […]
“And over on the Republican side, Jeb Bush recently hired a speech coach to help him speak more forcefully and emotionally. You can tell – before, he was like, ‘I don’t really want to run for president,’ but NOW, he’s like ‘I SAID I DON’T WANT TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT!! I’M SICK OF IT! I’M […]
“A protester had to be escorted out of a Donald Trump rally last night for yelling, ‘Trump’s a racist’. The protester was removed because the Trump campaign has that phrase copyrighted.” – Seth Meyers “A new poll released today shows Donald Trump is leading the Republican field with 24 percent. How far are we going […]
“Last night, Bobby Jindal announced that he is dropping out of the race for president. I guess that after talking it over with family and friends, he realized that even THEY didn’t know he was running for president.” – Jimmy Fallon “Republican Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana, is dropping out. Jindal never got out […]
Some officials in the Republican Party are starting to come to terms with the idea that Donald Trump may be the Republican nominee for president. After all, he is 20 points ahead of his closest rival (Ted Cruz, ick). While the presumed GOP heir apparent, Jeb Bush, is now polling at a dismal three percent. […]
“President Obama is overseas this week joining other world leaders in Turkey for the G-20 summit. Which is unusual, because normally when people are gathered around Turkey debating Obama, it’s just a bunch of drunk uncles at Thanksgiving.” – Jimmy Fallon “Governor Chris Christie said in an interview yesterday that New Jersey would not accept […]
“The Democratic candidates went head-to-head Saturday night in their second debate, where unlike the Ronda Rousey fight, we saw a woman knock out TWO opponents.” – Jimmy Fallon “Not that anyone seemed to notice, but there was a Democratic debate on Saturday night. It was Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O’Malley, who is either […]
“Tomorrow night is the second Democratic debate! It’s the perfect way to spend a Saturday night if you’re single. And it’s raining. And every movie theater is closed. And you only get one channel.” – Jimmy Fallon “This time, the debate will feature just three candidates: Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O’Malley. Or as […]
“After the debate this week, online polls show Donald Trump is still in the lead, but critics say the poll is unscientific. Because even science can’t explain how Donald Trump is still in the lead.” – Jimmy Fallon “Donald Trump said in a new interview, ‘We started off with 17 and one by one they’re […]
“13.5 million viewers watched the debate last night, which was a record for the Fox Business channel. By the way, is Fox Business always a channel or is that a one-night thing? I’ve never seen that one before.” – Jimmy Kimmel “The debate was about the economy and I have to say it was not […]
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