[Jokes from July 26, 2016] “Of course, it’s the Democratic Convention, which began last night. There were several big moments, and by the end, everyone was chanting ‘I’m With Her!’ Unfortunately for Hillary, they were talking about Michelle Obama.” – Jimmy Fallon “Experts are saying that the highlight of the Democratic Convention’s first night was […]
[Jokes from July 25, 2016] “The theme for the Democrats today at the Democratic Convention is ‘United Together.’ Which really is the best way to be united. So much better than being united apart.” – Jimmy Kimmel “Hillary Clinton’s main task this week is to divert attention from leaked DNC emails and other negative press. […]
[Jokes from July 21, 2016] “Last night was night three of the Republican Convention, and if you thought the first two nights were exciting — then you really need to get out more.” – James Corden “The Republican Convention had a theme each day, and today’s was ‘Make America One Again.’ Let’s be honest, that […]
© Jonathan Rosenberg We need to keep up the heat on Donald Trump to release his tax returns. That worked on Mitt Romney. One way to do that is to speculate on what could be in them that is so horrible that Trump would be afraid to release them. Trump likes to claim that he […]
[Jokes from July 20, 2016] “A number of college professors are saying that Melania Trump’s convention speech earlier this week would classify as plagiarism in some academic settings. While in other academic settings [displays logo of Trump University], it would earn you a Ph.D. in ‘Speechinating’.” – Seth Meyers “It’s the Republican Convention and Donald […]
Brilliant story in The Onion. The headline is “‘Why Can I Never Seem To Say The Right Thing?’ Weeps Trump Into Pillow” accompanied by a photo of someone who looks like Trump clutching his pillow and sobbing into it. Quickly running into his bedroom and slamming the door behind him after hearing public criticism of […]
[Jokes from July 19, 2016] “Melania Trump is being accused of plagiarism because paragraphs of her speech last night closely mirror Michelle Obama’s speech at the 2008 Democratic convention. Said Melania, ‘That’s ridiculous. I worked on that speech for four score and seven years.’” – Seth Meyers “Melania did it: She found something less original […]
[Jokes from July 18, 2016] “Quicken Loans Arena, home to the NBA champion Cleveland Cavaliers, is hosting the Republican Convention this week. And just like the Cavs’ starting lineup, the convention is expected to have four black people.” – Seth Meyers “The Republican National Convention started today — and we’re now just a week away […]
© Tom Tomorrow Dan Perkins (aka Tom Tomorrow) spent the whole week at the Democratic convention. There is much more from him over at The Nib, including an interview with Ben Jealous, former head of the NAACP and was a prominent supporter of Bernie Sanders.
[Jokes from July 15, 2016] “I want to thank everyone for taking a break from Pokémon to tune in tonight. It’s just everywhere. In fact it’s been reported now that Pokémon is getting ready to launch in Russia, and President Vladimir Putin looks like he’s already having a good time with it, ‘Tell me where […]
[Jokes from July 14, 2016] “Donald Trump is expected to officially announce his running mate at an event tomorrow and all week reports said it was down to three finalists: Mike Pence, Chris Christie, or those two candidates combined, Newt Gingrich.” – Jimmy Fallon “Newt Gingrich praised Donald Trump in a new interview and said […]
[Jokes from July 13, 2016] “For his running mate, Donald Trump says he’s looking for someone with experience in areas he doesn’t have. So right now Trump is looking for someone who can run a profitable casino.” – Conan O’Brien “It’s being reported that Donald Trump’s list of running mates is now down to just […]
Donald Trump famously has a very thin skin. If you say something negative about him, he attacks you and calls you names. Well, unless he wants something from you. But the worst thing you can do to Trump is not pay attention to him. It wouldn’t surprise me if he started a nuclear war just […]
[Jokes from July 12, 2016] “The L.A. Times just revealed that Bill Clinton has demanded private jets to get to speaking engagements. In their defense, Bill and Hillary need private jets ‘cuz they’re the only planes that can fit ALL of their baggage.” – Jimmy Fallon “Today, Bernie Sanders officially endorsed Hillary Clinton at a […]
I’m not really sure why I find this so funny, but I do. I hope you enjoy it. From Funny or Die.
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