[Jokes from Mar. 2, 2017] Attorney General Jeff Sessions is in trouble because he was caught lying under oath about contacting the Russians during the election. When asked if the allegations were true, Sessions said, “Absolutely nyet.” – Conan O’Brien Attorney General Jeff Sessions recused himself from any investigations into Trump’s ties with Russia. But […]
[Satire from Andy Borowitz] JARED KUSHNER CALLS KIM JONG-UN “TOTALLY UNQUALIFIED PERSON” WHO GOT JOB ONLY THROUGH NEPOTISM Offering a stunningly blunt appraisal of the North Korean leader, Jared Kushner said on Tuesday that Kim Jong-un was a “totally unqualified person” who attained his position of power only through nepotism. “Here you have a guy […]
[Jokes from Mar. 1, 2017] President Trump gave his big address to Congress last night. But it was surprising — he didn’t trash the media or brag about winning the election. It was the first time people playing a Trump drinking game ended up sober. – Jimmy Fallon President Trump gave his first speech to […]
The White House Easter bunny apologizes for “passing over” the Jews. Ironically, ten years ago Sean Spicer actually did dress up as the Easter bunny at the White House, with George W and Laura Bush. At the time, Spicer was working in the office of the US Trade Representative. UPDATE: Notice how uncomfortable Spicer is […]
[Jokes from Feb. 28, 2017] Tonight, President Trump is giving a prime-time speech before Congress. The speech will be on a 10-second delay so Trump can live-tweet about how great his speech is going. – Conan O’Brien President Trump gave his first address to a joint session of Congress tonight. Now, our show tapes early, […]
© David Horsey Hey, why not just claim victory and move on? After all, most people didn’t believe Donald Trump when he (over and over and over again) claimed that he would build a wall and Mexico would pay for it. And if someone was stupid enough to believe that, then they would probably believe […]
[Jokes from Feb. 27, 2017] I thought Jimmy Kimmel did a great job hosting the Oscars — congrats to Jimmy, he’s always good. But did you see what happened at the end? Yeah, the producers of “La La Land” went up on stage after the movie was named Best Picture — then it was announced […]
[Jokes from Feb 23, 2017] One of the big stories everyone’s talking about is the immigration debate. Pope Francis has actually been tweeting Bible references that oppose President Trump’s travel ban. You know you’re doing something wrong when you’re getting cyber bullied by the Pope. – Jimmy Fallon The NYPD sent out a message today […]
[Jokes from Feb. 22, 2017] The Washington Post has done an analysis of Trump’s first month as president and says that during that time, Trump has made 133 false or misleading statements. That’s right, 133 false statements. Isn’t that — [mimes listening to earpiece] sorry, it’s absolutely 134. It’s 135 — it’s — it’s 137. […]
[Jokes from Feb. 20, 2017] President Trump took office one month ago today. Wow, it’s hard to believe the past few years have only been a month! – Seth Meyers Today is President’s Day and you just know Trump was up at the crack of dawn, ready to open presents. – Seth Meyers Yesterday was […]
[Jokes from Feb. 16, 2017] The big news out of Washington right now is the press conference Donald Trump held this morning. Did everyone see it? No? Lucky you, sir. – Conan O’Brien Earlier today, President Trump held a press conference where he insulted the media, criticized Hillary Clinton, and talked about a hypothetical nuclear […]
[Jokes from Feb 15, 2017] The big story is that last night, The New York Times published a bombshell report that President Trump’s campaign was in contact with Russian intelligence since 2015. When asked if it was true, Trump said, “Nyet! I mean, no!” – Jimmy Fallon We just learned from multiple intelligence sources that […]
From Late Night with Stephen Colbert, Sesame Street takes on Sean Spicer:
[Jokes from Feb. 13, 2017] This week Donald Trump took Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe down to Mar-a-Lago. They were eating their dinners when they received news that North Korea had test-launched a ballistic missile. This is a provocation by a rogue nuclear state, so President Trump immediately retreated to a secure location where he […]
[Jokes from Feb. 9, 2017] Today the East Coast was hit with a major snowstorm and it forced New York City public schools to close. When she heard that, new Education Secretary Betsy DeVos was like, “Hey, my plan’s working already.” – Jimmy Fallon A snowstorm in the Northeast today caused many schools in the […]
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