Trevor Noah of the Daily Show: Stephen Colbert of the Late Show: Jimmy Kimmel: James Corden of the Late Late Show:
[Jokes from Mar. 23, 2017] The vote on the Republican healthcare bill was delayed today because they didn’t have enough votes to pass it. When he heard that, Obama called Trump and said, “Don’t worry, Obamacare covers depression. So don’t worry about it.” – Jimmy Fallon The House did not vote on the Republicans’ Obamacare […]
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[Jokes from Mar. 22, 2017] A big story today came out that Trump’s former campaign manager, Paul Manafort, worked for a Russian billionaire and helped promote Vladimir Putin’s agenda. Manafort quit when he realized he could just work for an American billionaire and achieve the same thing. – Jimmy Fallon It turns out Manafort was […]
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[Jokes from Mar. 21, 2017] FBI Director James Comey confirmed that the agency is examining possible ties between Russia and President Trump’s campaign. When asked if they’d found anything yet, Comey said [NODDING YES], “I can’t comment on an ongoing investigation.” – Jimmy Fallon However, Comey refused to say whether Trump himself was being investigated. […]
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[jokes from Mar. 20, 2017] Today is the first day of spring! Yep, it’s that day when millions of Americans look at their bodies in the mirror and ask, “Can we get, like, two more months of winter?” – Jimmy Fallon It’s the first day of spring. Spring has sprung, so congratulations to the people […]
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[Jokes from Mar. 16, 2017] President Trump released his proposed budget today. The title of the budget is “America First: A Budget Blueprint to Make America Great Again.” Seems like maybe while they were cutting things, they could have cut a few words out of the title. – Jimmy Kimmel President Trump’s proposed budget would […]
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Stephen Colbert gives the interview with Donald Trump that we would all love to hear.
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[Jokes from Mar. 15, 2017] Last night at around 7:30, our friend Rachel Maddow unleashed a Force 5 tweeticon with: “We’ve got Trump tax returns. Tonight, 9 p.m., MSNBC. Seriously.” So important for news networks to add “seriously” to any announcement, so the audience knows you’re not pranking them. – Stephen Colbert On Twitter yesterday […]
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[Jokes from Mar. 14, 2017] President Trump yesterday described the discussions over the Republican health plan as a, quote, “big, fat, beautiful negotiation.” Well, he’s making progress. It’s the first time he’s ever described anything as fat AND beautiful. – Seth Meyers The entire Northeast is being hit by Winter Storm Stella, the first blizzard […]
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[Jokes from Mar. 13, 2017] The GOP’s healthcare plan came out last week and, so far, it’s popular with everyone . . . except doctors, hospitals, the insurance industry, patients, the elderly, Democrats, Republicans, and — what’s the word? — mortals. Yeah. These mortals, they need so much care. – Stephen Colbert This afternoon, the […]
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The White House announced a new hotline to help victims or witnesses report crimes committed by undocumented immigrants. You know, because 911 wasn’t enough. Well, unless if your goal was to foster racism and xenophobia. After all, studies have shown that illegal immigrants are far less likely to commit crimes than native-born Americans (other than […]
[Jokes from Mar. 9, 2017] New research says that Neanderthals used to relieve pain by chewing on a plant containing the main ingredient in aspirin. Or as that’s now being called, “the Republican healthcare plan.” – Conan O’Brien The GOP’s new healthcare bill cleared its first hurdle early this morning, when it was passed by […]
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Wednesday, April 26, 2017
[Jokes from Mar. 8, 2017] Today’s the day when we celebrate women, a lot of women going on strike today, and they’re calling it “A Day Without Women.” Or as it is known in the Trump White House, a day. – James Corden For President Trump, every day is a day without a woman because […]
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[Jokes from Mar. 7, 2017] Yesterday, House Republicans unveiled their new healthcare plan intended to replace Obamacare. Oh yeah, it’s brilliant. The previous healthcare plan was nicknamed “Obamacare,” and if this new plan doesn’t work, it will be nicknamed “Obama’s Fault”. – James Corden House Republicans have unveiled their much-anticipated new healthcare plan that’s supposed […]
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[Jokes from Mar. 6, 2017] Trump went on Twitter early Saturday morning and launched off several posts accusing Barack Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower during the election. Right now we are this close to Trump putting tinfoil on his head during a speech and shouting, “Try reading my thoughts now, Obama!” – James Corden This […]
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