[Jokes from Mar. 9, 2017] New research says that Neanderthals used to relieve pain by chewing on a plant containing the main ingredient in aspirin. Or as that’s now being called, “the Republican healthcare plan.” – Conan O’Brien The GOP’s new healthcare bill cleared its first hurdle early this morning, when it was passed by […]
[Jokes from Mar. 8, 2017] Today’s the day when we celebrate women, a lot of women going on strike today, and they’re calling it “A Day Without Women.” Or as it is known in the Trump White House, a day. – James Corden For President Trump, every day is a day without a woman because […]
[Jokes from Mar. 7, 2017] Yesterday, House Republicans unveiled their new healthcare plan intended to replace Obamacare. Oh yeah, it’s brilliant. The previous healthcare plan was nicknamed “Obamacare,” and if this new plan doesn’t work, it will be nicknamed “Obama’s Fault”. – James Corden House Republicans have unveiled their much-anticipated new healthcare plan that’s supposed […]
[Jokes from Mar. 6, 2017] Trump went on Twitter early Saturday morning and launched off several posts accusing Barack Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower during the election. Right now we are this close to Trump putting tinfoil on his head during a speech and shouting, “Try reading my thoughts now, Obama!” – James Corden This […]
[Jokes from Mar. 2, 2017] Attorney General Jeff Sessions is in trouble because he was caught lying under oath about contacting the Russians during the election. When asked if the allegations were true, Sessions said, “Absolutely nyet.” – Conan O’Brien Attorney General Jeff Sessions recused himself from any investigations into Trump’s ties with Russia. But […]
[Satire from Andy Borowitz] JARED KUSHNER CALLS KIM JONG-UN “TOTALLY UNQUALIFIED PERSON” WHO GOT JOB ONLY THROUGH NEPOTISM Offering a stunningly blunt appraisal of the North Korean leader, Jared Kushner said on Tuesday that Kim Jong-un was a “totally unqualified person” who attained his position of power only through nepotism. “Here you have a guy […]
[Jokes from Mar. 1, 2017] President Trump gave his big address to Congress last night. But it was surprising — he didn’t trash the media or brag about winning the election. It was the first time people playing a Trump drinking game ended up sober. – Jimmy Fallon President Trump gave his first speech to […]
The White House Easter bunny apologizes for “passing over” the Jews. Ironically, ten years ago Sean Spicer actually did dress up as the Easter bunny at the White House, with George W and Laura Bush. At the time, Spicer was working in the office of the US Trade Representative. UPDATE: Notice how uncomfortable Spicer is […]
[Jokes from Feb. 28, 2017] Tonight, President Trump is giving a prime-time speech before Congress. The speech will be on a 10-second delay so Trump can live-tweet about how great his speech is going. – Conan O’Brien President Trump gave his first address to a joint session of Congress tonight. Now, our show tapes early, […]
© David Horsey Hey, why not just claim victory and move on? After all, most people didn’t believe Donald Trump when he (over and over and over again) claimed that he would build a wall and Mexico would pay for it. And if someone was stupid enough to believe that, then they would probably believe […]
[Jokes from Feb. 27, 2017] I thought Jimmy Kimmel did a great job hosting the Oscars — congrats to Jimmy, he’s always good. But did you see what happened at the end? Yeah, the producers of “La La Land” went up on stage after the movie was named Best Picture — then it was announced […]
[Jokes from Feb 23, 2017] One of the big stories everyone’s talking about is the immigration debate. Pope Francis has actually been tweeting Bible references that oppose President Trump’s travel ban. You know you’re doing something wrong when you’re getting cyber bullied by the Pope. – Jimmy Fallon The NYPD sent out a message today […]
[Jokes from Feb. 22, 2017] The Washington Post has done an analysis of Trump’s first month as president and says that during that time, Trump has made 133 false or misleading statements. That’s right, 133 false statements. Isn’t that — [mimes listening to earpiece] sorry, it’s absolutely 134. It’s 135 — it’s — it’s 137. […]
[Jokes from Feb. 20, 2017] President Trump took office one month ago today. Wow, it’s hard to believe the past few years have only been a month! – Seth Meyers Today is President’s Day and you just know Trump was up at the crack of dawn, ready to open presents. – Seth Meyers Yesterday was […]
[Jokes from Feb. 16, 2017] The big news out of Washington right now is the press conference Donald Trump held this morning. Did everyone see it? No? Lucky you, sir. – Conan O’Brien Earlier today, President Trump held a press conference where he insulted the media, criticized Hillary Clinton, and talked about a hypothetical nuclear […]
Abortion Bush Campaign Finance Cheney Climate Clinton Congress Conservatives Corporations Corruption Deficits Democrats Drugs Economy Education Election Elections Energy Environment Fox News Gays Guns Health Immigration Lies McCain Media Middle East Obama Palin Protests Racism Religion Republicans Romney Spying Supreme Court Taxes Tea Party Terrorism Terrorists Torture Trump Unemployment War
