[Jokes from Jun 29, 2017] I’m going to say something I didn’t think was possible anymore: I am shocked by something Donald Trump said. I thought, by now, that my soul had calcified into a crouton. Not true, because today, the president of the United States tweeted, “How come low I.Q. Crazy Mika, along with […]
[Jokes from Jun 28, 2017] President Trump today met several Native American tribal leaders. They had a lot of questions for the president, such as, “How the hell did you manage to lose money running a casino?” – Seth Meyers The New York Times said Donald Trump “faltered in his role as a ‘closer’.” Yeah, […]
[Jokes from Jun 27, 2017] Republicans, who were already nervous, ran for the exits after the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office announced yesterday that under the GOP plan, 22 million people would lose their health coverage. That’s a big number. To put that number into perspective, if you laid 22 million people end to end, it […]
[Jokes from Jun 26, 2017] Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin got married this weekend for the third time, and the wedding was officiated by Vice President Mike Pence. Because if there’s one thing Mike Pence stands for, it’s the sanctity of a third marriage. – Seth Meyers This weekend, Mike Pence officiated the wedding of Treasury […]
[Jokes from Jun 22, 2017] This morning Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell showed us a draft of his top-secret new healthcare legislation. They opened the vault, they laid the bill out on a table, rubbed lemon juice all over it, and the text magically appeared for all to see. And wouldn’t you know it, the […]
[Jokes from Jun 21, 2017] Today is the summer solstice, which is the longest day of the year. Or as the White House calls that, “every day”. – Jimmy Fallon Today was the longest day of the year … says Sean Spicer every day. – Seth Meyers Today, hundreds of people did yoga in Times […]
[Jokes from Jun 20, 2017] On Monday, Donald Trump met with the president of Panama and bragged that the U.S. built the Panama Canal. Trump’s bringing up a project from 100 years ago like he had something to do with it. So I guess if he never builds his border wall, he can always take […]
[Jokes from Jun 19, 2017] Because Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein was in on talks about firing Comey, he may need to recuse himself from the Russia probe. He would be the third member of this investigation to be gone, after Attorney General Jeff Sessions and former FBI Director James Comey. It’s all in the […]
[Jokes from Jun 15, 2017] The Washington Post reports that President Trump is being investigated for obstruction of justice, which could wind up costing him the presidency. Trump was like, “OK, now give me the bad news.” – Jimmy Fallon It was revealed yesterday that the FBI is now investigating President Donald Trump for obstruction […]
[Jokes from Jun 14, 2017] I saw that today is President Trump’s 71st birthday. That’s right. When his staff saw him coming, they turned out the lights and hid — until he went away. “Whew, so close. We almost had to say, “Happy Birthday!” – Jimmy Fallon It’s Donald Trump’s birthday. Seventy-one candles on that […]
[Jokes from Jun 13,2017] Attorney General Jeff Sessions testified in Congress today as part of the Russia investigation, and it wasn’t a good sign when they asked him if he swore to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, and he said [Russian accent], “Da”. – Jimmy Fallon Jeff Sessions said he “doesn’t recall” […]
Does anyone else get the creeps as much as I do when watching Kellyanne Conway speak?
[Jokes from Jun 12, 2017] President Trump held a Cabinet meeting today in which each Cabinet member took turns praising the president. After hearing this, Kim Jong Un said, “Man, even I’m not that insecure.” – Conan O’Brien Today, a Federal Appeals Court ruled against President Trump’s revised travel ban —- and get this, they […]
[Jokes from Jun 8, 2017] A big heat wave is expected to hit New York City this weekend. They say that we’ll be sweating like Trump while he watched the James Comey hearing. – Jimmy Fallon Happy St. Comey’s Day, everybody! Of course, everybody celebrates Comey Day if their own way. We’re kind of traditionalists […]
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