[Jokes from Jul 20, 2017] President Trump said in a new interview that he had regrets about appointing Attorney General Jeff Sessions. Sessions said today that he will continue to serve as long as it is appropriate. So only until about 1955. – Seth Meyers The identities of the people who attended the meeting between […]
[Jokes from Jul 18, 2017] I have some sad news tonight. As of 10:48 p.m. eastern last night, the GOP healthcare bill was pronounced dead of terminal sucking. – Stephen Colbert The Republican bill to repeal and replace Obamacare has officially fallen apart. But Republicans say they’re just going to let Obamacare fail while they […]
Trump jokes about wanting to be on Mt. Rushmore. Mt. Rushmore responds:
Donald Trump is replacing everyone in the White House who is not his relative with really bad caricatures from B-movies. Either that, or some horrific reality show where they really do kill people. Kudos to the NY Post for actually running this cover and tweeting “In the latest episode of ‘White House Survivor’, the West […]
[Jokes from Jul 17, 2017] Donald Trump Jr. has admitted to holding an undisclosed meeting before the election with a Russian lawyer and a Russian lobbyist who reportedly once worked for the KGB. And the hardest part to believe is there was a Donald Trump dumb enough to do that [shows photo of President Trump] […]
Conservative George Will has a lovely and hilarious opinion piece in the Washington Post. I really do recommend that you go read the whole thing, but I’ll include a few paragraphs to entice you. One warning: you will probably need a dictionary. Will’s claim is that Donald Trump is actually something that the nation did […]
[Jokes from Jul 13, 2017] On the way to Paris the president had some off-the-record conversations with reporters on Air Force One, and then he decided he wanted some of what he said to be ON the record. So Trump told reporters last night that the wall — you know that wall Mexico’s going to […]
[Jokes from Jul 12, 2017] Yesterday, Donald Trump Jr. released emails explicitly detailing an invitation by the Russian government to collude, and his enthusiastic acceptance, quote: “I love it.” Oh Don, not as much as I do. Delicious. – Stephen Colbert According to friends of Donald Trump Jr., back in college he was a black-out […]
[Jokes from Jul 11, 2017] Back in June [last year] Donald Trump Jr. met with a Russian lawyer who he believed had damaging information about Hillary Clinton to share. They met at Trump Tower. Son-in-law-in-chief Jared Kushner and former campaign manager Paul Manafort were in attendance. The New York Times broke this story, and this […]
[reprinted from The Onion] Senator Struggling To Weigh Interests Of Entire Constituency Against Nothing WASHINGTON—As legislators gathered Tuesday for a critical vote that would go a long way toward finally repealing and replacing the Affordable Care Act, Senator Shelley Moore Capito (R-WV) was reportedly struggling to weigh the interests of her entire constituency against absolutely […]
[Jokes from Jul 10, 2017] At this weekend’s G-20 summit, President Trump and Vladimir Putin had a private two-and-a-half hour meeting. It’s probably not a good sign that it ended with Putin handing Trump a single red rose. – Conan O’Brien But the bigly event this weekend: Donald Trump finally met his BFF, Russian President […]
[Jokes from Jun 29, 2017] I’m going to say something I didn’t think was possible anymore: I am shocked by something Donald Trump said. I thought, by now, that my soul had calcified into a crouton. Not true, because today, the president of the United States tweeted, “How come low I.Q. Crazy Mika, along with […]
[Jokes from Jun 28, 2017] President Trump today met several Native American tribal leaders. They had a lot of questions for the president, such as, “How the hell did you manage to lose money running a casino?” – Seth Meyers The New York Times said Donald Trump “faltered in his role as a ‘closer’.” Yeah, […]
[Jokes from Jun 27, 2017] Republicans, who were already nervous, ran for the exits after the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office announced yesterday that under the GOP plan, 22 million people would lose their health coverage. That’s a big number. To put that number into perspective, if you laid 22 million people end to end, it […]
[Jokes from Jun 26, 2017] Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin got married this weekend for the third time, and the wedding was officiated by Vice President Mike Pence. Because if there’s one thing Mike Pence stands for, it’s the sanctity of a third marriage. – Seth Meyers This weekend, Mike Pence officiated the wedding of Treasury […]
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