“People are mad. There’s a lot of soul-searching going on after the Casey Anthony verdict. Florida is looking into the jury selection process, their legislatures are reviewing laws, and CNN is considering whether Nancy Grace should be replaced by an actual glassy-eyed vulture.” – Bill Maher
“If you can look at a crime where everything points to one answer and not see it, you’re a dumbass. And if you can look at the deficit and not see that the problem is that the rich stopped paying taxes, you’re a Republican.” – Bill Maher
“Yes, Republican base, you are just like that jury. It is pathetically clear who’s killing the middle class, but you keep letting them get away with murder.” – Bill Maher
“New Rule: If your dad was on OJ’s legal dream team, you can’t Tweet your disappointment over the Casey Anthony verdict. It’s like Tricia Nixon bitching about presidential corruption. And remember, your father started a proud Kardashian tradition: getting black men off.” – Bill Maher
“I was sure that the Republican plan to fix the economy by defaulting on the national debt would work, but apparently it didn’t. The unemployment rate is now at 9.2%, which is scary because experts say 9.5 is the point at which people are desperate enough to consider Michele Bachmann.” – Bill Maher
“In Arizona they had a dust storm that was two miles high and 15 miles wide. It looked like something out of a movie. Visibility in Arizona they said was so bad that police were hassling white people.” – Bill Maher
“Obama had a town hall on Twitter, and he took questions, the first time this ever happened. It went smoothly at first, then of course came snarky questions from Republicans, and then the last four were just pictures of Anthony Weiner’s penis.” – Bill Maher
“New Rule: You can’t be a country that celebrates its birthday with a gluttonous hotdog binge and pyrotechnics and then not offer universal healthcare. On the 4th of July, a man named Joey Chestnut gobbled down 62 wieners – just beating the old record set by George Michael – and at least 8,000 people that day went to the emergency room with fireworks-related injuries. Holding the 4th of July and not providing the inevitably needed healthcare is like holding Oktoberfest and not providing Port-O-Potties.” – Bill Maher
