“The rebel army in Libya is just like 1,000 guys in Toyota trucks. The world is asking the question; can 1000 anti-government guys in pick-up trucks with small arms, take over a country of millions? To which I say, ask the Teabaggers.” – Bill Maher
“TLC will start airing new episodes of ‘Kate Plus 8’ starting this Monday. And they’re going to keep airing them until Gaddafi agrees to step down.” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama called Vice President Joe Biden into the Oval Office to get his advice about Libya. Then he said, ‘April Fools’!'” – Jay Leno
“I’ve made a lot of jokes about Donald Trump running for president, but in all honesty, I’ll be making a lot more.” – David Letterman
“Donald Trump announced he got his own segment every Monday morning on Fox News. Just what Fox News needs – another blonde airhead.” – Bill Maher
“Donald Trump is saying President Obama doesn’t have a birth certificate. Let’s just say he doesn’t. What are we going to do now? Make him go get one?” – David Letterman
“According to a poll, 55 percent of college students approve of the job President Obama is doing. That may change once they graduate and try to find a job.” – Jay Leno
“They finally maybe struck a deal to avert a government shutdown. Of course, all on the Republican terms. You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.” – Bill Maher
“If the government shutdown occurs, there may be a freeze to all new wars in the Middle East.” – Jay Leno
