“Seventeen days after Newt Gingrich insisted President Obama should establish a no-fly zone over Libya, he’s complaining that Obama established a no-fly zone over Libya. It’s the same as Newt’s policy on adultery. He can’t make up his mind.” – Jay Leno
“House Speaker John Boehner says President Obama should have clearly outlined his exact plans before bombing Libya. Apparently it’s only Iraq where you don’t have to do that.” – Jay Leno
“For Lent, some people give up meat, and some people give up drinking. President Obama gave up conferring with Congress.” – Jay Leno
“Dennis Kucinich wants to impeach President Obama over Libya. There’s a very good case against impeachment. It’s called ‘Joe Biden.'” – Jay Leno
“President Obama had to use another door to get into the White House yesterday after he got home and the entrance to the Oval Office was locked. When he couldn’t get in, Obama said ‘Holy cow, is it 2012 already?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Two passenger planes landed in Washington, D.C. with no assistance from a sleeping air traffic controller. Luckily, the pilots were too drunk to notice.” – Jay Leno
“A study found Equador, Venezuela and Colombia have the most well-endowed men in the world. The study was conducted by TSA screeners at JFK’s International Terminal.” – Jimmy Fallon
