“Obama is huge in the polls these days. His popularity is soaring. Even conservatives are coming around. 30 percent of them now believe Obama deserves a Green Card.” – Bill Maher
“It was quite a sight to see Obama next to President Hu. Obama has a Nobel Peace Prize in his basement, and Hu has a Nobel Peace prize winner in his.” – Bill Maher
“While visiting Chicago, President Hu met with Cubs fans. Apparently, he wanted to see some Americans who have suffered more human rights violations than his own people.” – Jay Leno
“Even though President Hu was only in Chicago for two days, by the Rahm Emanuel standard, he was able to establish residency and can now run for mayor of Chicago.” – Jay Leno
“This picture of Obama with President Hu of China has people wondering if our President is dying his hair. Maybe he’s been using a little Just For Presidents.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Boehner was subject to some controversy because the President hosted President Hu of China this week, and Boehner was invited to the State Dinner and did not come. President Hu was very disappointed. He promised his friends back home that he would get a picture with ‘orange man who leaks.” – Bill Maher
“While in Washington, Chinese President Hu Jintao met with members of Congress. It was very festive as the leader of Red China met with our orange speaker of the House.” – Jay Leno
“Next week Boehner will be sitting behind Obama at the State of the Union address. I think Obama should purposely try to embarrass him by telling the story of Old Yeller. The State of Our Union is strong, but not so good for one special dog.'” – Bill Maher
“Every Republican in Congress voted to repeal the health care legislation. They admitted it was symbolic, but it does enable Republicans to brag in campaign ads next year that they voted to let poor people die.” – Bill Maher
“What amazes me is that that kind of stuff never makes John Boehner cry. […] Congress this week was recognizing the 50th anniversary of John F. Kennedy’s inauguration, a man that John Boehner doesn’t like, has no allegiance with politically, and it was 50 years ago. He cried. This guy is an ad for Paxil.” – Bill Maher
“Good news. Congresswoman Gabby Giffords is able stand up and the next stop is rehab. Now if we could only say the same thing about Charlie Sheen. In a related story, Sarah Palin’s doctors say that any idea that entered her brain this week passed straight through and came out the other side.” – Bill Maher
“‘The National Enquirer’ says Sarah Palin’s husband Todd has been having an affair with a massage therapist who’s also been arrested for prostitution. What is it with all these massage therapists? Al Gore, Brett Favre, and now Todd Palin. When will one of these stories have a happy ending?” – Jay Leno
