“I feel bad for the Chilean miners. They were down there in the dark so long. I mean, my God, it’s like the Tea Party.” – David Letterman
“At one point during the debate, Christine O’Donnell said, ‘What I think is irrelevant.’ I’ll keep that in mind come Election Day.” – David Letterman
“The first debate was at podiums. The next debate will be at satanic altars.” – David Letterman
“Vice President Joe Biden said that the Democrats up for election aren’t running on their accomplishments because they’re too hard to explain. So basically he’s saying either voters are to stupid to understand or the Democrats are too stupid to explain it. You know what’s even harder to explain? Why the Democrats are letting Joe Biden talk with the election just a couple weeks away.” – Jay Leno
“Joe Biden told the New York Times that President Obama has already asked him to be his running mate in 2012. Not only that, he said Sarah Palin, Mitt Romey and the rest of the Republicans also asked him to be Obama’s running mate in 2012.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Joe Biden said today President Obama has asked him to run again with him in 2010. So I think I speak for all late-night hosts when I say, ‘Thank you, Mr. President.” – Jay Leno
“For the first time in history, there are 100,000 home foreclosures in the month of September. 100,000 people were told this fall they were going to lose their house. 100,001 if you count Nancy Pelosi.” – Jay Leno
“You know that anti-gay candidate Carl Paladino running for governor? He had this horrible anti-gay thing the other day. It turns out he owns two buildings that house gay night clubs. So I guess when it comes to making money, Mr. Anti-Gay’s attitude is ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell.'” – Jay Leno
