“A man was arrested for streaking at President Obama’s rally in Philadelphia. Thankfully, the police were able to restrain and clothe Joe Biden.” – Craig Ferguson
“A Greek billionaire is giving a million dollars to a man that ran naked in front of President Obama in Philadelphia. Obama called the stunt ‘highly immature’ while Biden called it ‘totally worth it.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Someone actually threw a book at the president. When Obama saw something fly by, he said, ‘Christine O’Donnell on a broom!'” – Craig Ferguson
“The Nobel Prize in the fiction category went to Christine O’Donnell’s resume.” – David Letterman
“Christine O’Donnell’s new ad says she didn’t go to Yale, like her opponent. I don’t think she really needs to tell us that.” – Jay Leno
“New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie canceled a tunnel they were digging from New Jersey into New York. Apparently, New Yorkers found out about it.” – Jay Leno
“New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino’s pit bull, Duke, bit another dog during a campaign stop this week. People who were there said he was growling, foaming at the mouth, and completely out of control. And so was his pit bull.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Carl Paladino criticized his opponent for marching in a gay pride parade. I guess he’s planning on decorating the governor’s mansion himself.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“It’s being reported that the economy lost 95,000 jobs in September. And that’s just people leaving the White House.” – Jay Leno
“The White House is becoming like ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ Every week, someone is voted off.” – Jay Leno
