“Rush Limbaugh had an apartment here in New York City. He sold the apartment for $11.5 million. That is $2.5 million for the apartment and $9 million for what they found in the medicine cabinet.” – David Letterman
“Rush Limbaugh just sold his penthouse in New York for $11 million. The apartment is amazing. It has a 24-hour doorman and a 24-hour pharmacy.” – Jimmy Fallon
“But it was a huge apartment — 4,000 square feet of space. No, wait a minute, that’s Rush.” – David Letterman
“Let me say congratulations to Spain. They won the World Cup yesterday. Spanish people all over the world celebrated in the streets, except of course, in Arizona.” – Jay Leno
“I thought this was nice. Earlier today, President Obama invited Mel Gibson and his girlfriend to the White House for a beer.” – David Letterman
“Well, this week, China gave a vote of confidence in the U.S. dollar. Well, you know why? They own them all. Of course they’re confident.” – Jay Leno
“British Petroleum says that they’re very happy with the new cap. And I said: ‘Well, if they’re happy, I’m happy. What do I care?'” – David Letterman
“Authorities in the former Soviet Republic of Georgia announced that a woman from a remote village turned 130 years old last week, making her the oldest person on the planet. So, once again, John McCain finishes second.” – Jay Leno
“How about the big spy thing here in New York. Russia gets 10 of their spies and, I think, a commie to be named later.” – David Letterman
