Political Irony

Jon Swift has an excellent column that explains something that has baffled liberals for a long time — why is it that when a liberal does something that is attacked as bad, a conservative can do exactly the same thing, but it is OK?

The example du jour is Bristol Palin, who is now officially an unwed mother, having broken off her engagement to the father of the child, Levi Johnston. Now, when Murphy Brown (a fictional TV sitcom character no less) was an unwed mother, the conservatives (led by Dan Quayle no less) were all over it. More recently, the same Lisa Schiffren who wrote that speech for Dan Quayle also attacked Rep. Loretta Linda Sanchez for having her baby before she married her fiancé. But as for the news about Bristol Palin, all Schiffren has to say is “poor girl”. And Kathryn Jean Lopez says “Let the girl live in peace with her child” (while opposing the same for gays and lesbians).

What liberals are simply too stupid to realize is that conservatives reject the idea of moral equivalency. Obviously, it is OK for Bristol Palin to be an unwed mother exactly because she is a conservative. The problem with Murphy Brown was that she was a liberal unwed mother, who “would not be able to raise her child with good, conservative, Christian, nonfictional values”. As a conservative, Bristol is in an especially good position to teach her child about the dangers of pre-marital sex. Conservatives are able to turn immorality into teachable moments.

This also explains why when America tortures a terrorist suspect that is not the same as when a terrorist tortures someone. Or why killing civilians in a war or accidentally executing the innocent is not the same as abortion. Or why giving corporations tax cuts is not the same as welfare. Liberals always try to confuse things using false analogies, but conservatives bravely reject moral equivalencies by making important distinctions. Richard Nixon summed it up nicely when he said “When the President does it, that means it is not illegal.”