“Nation, last night, once again, the political stage was set on fire by a brilliant orator, a man whose charisma even I have to admit can only be rivaled by a giant Brad Pitt made out of puppies. I’m speaking of, of course, of Bobby Jindal.” -Stephen Colbert
“”Now, it’s clear the Republican party has a new rock star — in that Jindal appears to have the body fat of Iggy Pop on free heroin day.” -Stephen Colbert
“I say Jindal’s speech was a homerun. Jimmy, let’s look at the rest of the highlights. Oh, there are none? Okay. All right, well, then, folks, I guess I am forced to talk about the Democratic pre-sponse. No, I didn’t hear any of it. I mute all of Obama’s speeches, because I like to hear myself yell.” -Stephen Colbert
“Let’s begin with the big story. Last night, President Barack Obama’s not State of the Union address. His first speech to Congress is not technically a State of the Union address, which is nice, because this is one year you probably do not want to complete the sentence, ‘The state of the union is…'” -Jon Stewart
“Last night, our president delivered his first State of the Union address. It was very well received. In fact, they’re saying it was the best State of the Union address ever delivered by an African-American president.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Obama said that we can overcome this crisis if we’re all willing to work hard and make sacrifices. In other words, we’re screwed, because those are two things we’re not good at around here.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“The president says he intends to embark on bold new programs to expand healthcare, improve education and increase energy independence, all while cutting the deficit in half, and then, he’s going to make the Washington monument disappear. So this should be exciting.” -Jimmy Kimmel
