[Jokes from Feb. 27, 2017]
I thought Jimmy Kimmel did a great job hosting the Oscars — congrats to Jimmy, he’s always good. But did you see what happened at the end? Yeah, the producers of “La La Land” went up on stage after the movie was named Best Picture — then it was announced that they actually lost to “Moonlight”. And today, they joined a support group with the Atlanta Falcons and Hillary Clinton. – Jimmy Fallon
The Oscars went very well. We were chugging along. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere, it turned into one of those Maury Povich paternity test shows. – Jimmy Kimmel
As I’m sure you know, “La La Land” was announced the winner of Best Picture, before it was revealed that there was a mix-up with the envelopes, and “Moonlight” was the actual winner. When this happened I bet Hillary Clinton was like, “Yeah, welcome to my world.” – James Corden
“Moonlight” won the Oscar for Best Picture last night after the award was mistakenly presented to “La La Land” due to an envelope mix-up. Yet another embarrassing defeat for perennial loser Ryan Gosling. – Seth Meyers
It was the weirdest TV finale since “Lost”. As I’m sure you’ve heard, “La La Land” was simultaneously somehow the biggest winner and loser last night. You know it’s a strange night when the word “envelope” is trending on Twitter. – Jimmy Kimmel
Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway were the presenters that announced the wrong film. Basically they were the Sean Spicers of the Oscars. – James Corden
On the 50th anniversary of “Bonnie and Clyde,” the academy asked Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway to present Best Picture. So Warren and Faye come out with the envelope. In retrospect, what we know is Warren was confused, so he handed it to Faye and let her read it. In other words, Clyde threw Bonnie under the bus. – Jimmy Kimmel
During the “In Memoriam” segment they accidentally showed the picture of a woman who is still alive, an Australian producer named Jan Chapman. Which in a way is a much bigger story than “La La Land”. Sure, it’s bad to think you have won Best Picture when you didn’t. But how about being told you’re dead when you’re not? – James Corden
This would send me into a deep existential funk. I would be like, “Wait, I’m not dead. But am I truly living?” – James Corden
Last night, Mahershala Ali became the first Muslim actor to win an Oscar. Or as the Trump White House reported it, “Muslim Wields Heavy Blunt Object.” – Jimmy Fallon
On Friday, CNN, The New York Times, and BuzzFeed were blocked from participating in a media briefing with White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer. CNN called it “unacceptable”, the Times called it “outrageous”, and BuzzFeed called it “one of the top seven things Trump did today that will blow your mind.” – Jimmy Fallon
Over the weekend, Vice President Mike Pence tweeted his support for Israel, but accidentally used an emoji of the Nicaraguan flag instead of the Israeli flag. The White House says there’s a perfectly good reason why he did it: Nobody knows what they’re doing. – Jimmy Fallon
President Trump said today that he is going to “save people” from Obamacare. Kinda like how that iceberg “rescued” the Titanic from having to go to New York. – Seth Meyers
