[Jokes from Jan. 9, 2017]
“Meryl Streep’s speech last night at the Golden Globes took direct aim at Donald Trump when she called him a bully. Of course, Trump responded in a tweet saying Streep is quote one of the most overrated actresses in Hollywood.” – James Corden
“At last night’s Golden Globes, Meryl Streep criticized Donald Trump, then Trump tweeted that she is ‘overrated’. ‘Overrated’ is different from Trump’s normal insult for women, ‘over 40’.” – Conan O’Brien
“Meryl Streep was given the Cecil B DeMille lifetime achievement award at the Golden Globes last night and used her acceptance speech to criticize Donald Trump. That’s right, the all-time queen of American drama was criticized by Meryl Streep.” – Seth Meyers
“Look, Mr. Trump. You can refuse to release your taxes, you can call to ban an entire religion, you can play footsie with a dictator, but calling Meryl Streep overrated? No!” – Stephen Colbert
“If you want to see real acting, just watch the Republican Congress as they pretend that everything’s going to be okay for the next four years.” – James Corden
“In a tense exchange yesterday, a U.S. Navy destroyer fired warning shots at fast-approaching Iranian naval ships. So of course, our president-elect tweeted about how overrated Meryl Streep is.” – James Corden
“Last night, President-elect Trump was too focused on defeating ISIS and creating jobs to pick a fight with a celebrity — just kidding, he tweeted: ‘Meryl Streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood…'” – Stephen Colbert
“Trump spokeswoman and future award-winning Meryl Streep role Kellyanne Conway weighed in on the reporter controversy by explaining we shouldn’t get hung up on little things like what Donald Trump says and does.” – Stephen Colbert
“Donald Trump is reportedly having multiple disagreements with his Defense Secretary pick, James ‘Mad Dog’ Mattis. You know you’re in trouble when a guy named Mad Dog is telling you to take it down a notch.” – Conan O’Brien
“Donald Trump is making his son-in-law Jared Kushner a senior adviser to the Presidency. Today, Trump said, ‘I’ve looked into it and nothing’s ever gone wrong with a guy named Jared.'” – Conan O’Brien
“A man is claiming that his struggle with sleep-apnea caused him to grope a woman’s breasts on a flight. Said the woman, ‘Nice try, Mr. President-elect.'” – Seth Meyers
“On Friday, the director of national intelligence released a report that found that Putin ordered the effort to undermine faith in the election and help Trump. Apparently, after Russia was embarrassed by the Olympic doping scandal, Putin wanted to discredit the image of the United States and cast it as hypocritical. Hey, Putin, we don’t need any help looking hypocritical. Okay? We’re the country that invented both chili cheese fries and open heart surgery. We got this one.” – Stephen Colbert
“Over the weekend, Pope Francis gave his support to a woman who was publicly breastfeeding. The Pope defended himself saying, ‘I’m celibate, this is all I have.'” – Conan O’Brien
“The movie ‘La La Land’ won a record seven Golden Globes last night. The movie tells the story of a struggling jazz musician named Sebastian, who against all odds, is white.” – Seth Meyers
“First Lady Michelle Obama gave her final White House speech on Friday where she told young people to quote, ‘never fear’. Though it was weird that she told old people to quote, ‘Watch your backs’.” – Seth Meyers
