“We have New Jersey governor Chris Christie on the show tonight, which means right now, Donald Trump is unlocking his basement going, ‘Oh, no, he escaped.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“I saw that Jeb Bush is going back to giving speeches after his failed run for the Republican nomination. He’s actually a very talented motivational speaker, because after you listen to his life story, you feel great about yourself.” – Jimmy Fallon
“An STD clinic in Los Angeles is copying Bernie Sanders’ campaign slogan to advertise its testing services. ‘Feel the burn? Freestdtest.org.’ Makes sense because just like STDs, Bernie’s campaign is super popular on college campuses.” – Jimmy Fallon
