“A new national poll found that Hillary Clinton is now more than 30 points ahead of Bernie Sanders among Democratic voters. I don’t want to say Hillary is overconfident, but at her last rally, she just stood behind the podium and drank champagne. ‘I got this.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Tomorrow is the third Democratic presidential debate. Experts say Hillary Clinton needs to hold on to her lead. Bernie Sanders needs to try to catch up. And Martin O’Malley will be there.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Warren Buffett yesterday joined Hillary Clinton at a rally and tried to drum up support for a tax increase on people making over $1 million a year. Chris Christie also showed up and reportedly said ‘ohhhh, Buffett…'” – Seth Meyers
“The Department of Health announced it’s extending the enrollment period for Obamacare to January 1st. What better time to sign up for Obamacare than the day we all lie to ourselves about being healthier.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Congress this weekend ended the federal government’s ban on medical marijuana. Good news for people with glaucoma as well as people with ‘glaucoma’.” – Seth Meyers
