“I read that Donald Trump’s hotel chain may have experienced a data breach that may have exposed people’s debit and credit card information to hackers for more than a year. When asked how he planned on fixing the situation, Trump was like, ‘I’m going to build a huge firewall.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“I do think Donald Trump is honest in his own way. He is honestly an egomaniacal billionaire.” – Stephen Colbert
“This week in New Hampshire, Trump demonstrated he will not tolerate dishonesty from his opponents, like Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio. Mr. Trump, to answer your call for political honesty, you’re not going to be president. It’s been fun. It’s been great. I love you!” – Stephen Colbert
“Ben Carson continues to rise in the polls. But a lot of people think he’s a little too laid back, or sleepy, to be president. When asked about hurricane Joaquin this week and how he would prepare, he said, ‘uh. I don’t know.’ Is he talking about a hurricane or did he just drink a hurricane?” – Jimmy Fallon
“More of Hillary Clinton’s e-mails were just released, and one shows that she had made a list of talking points for a trip to L.A. in case she ran into Ellen DeGeneres, which is ironic because Bill does the same thing in case he runs into Hillary.” – Jimmy Fallon
