“It seems like everybody’s weighing in on Trump’s campaign – even Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. He said that Trump is ‘probably the best thing to happen to politics in a long, long time.’ Then Trump was like, ‘Well, at least one Cuban loves me.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Donald Trump has fired a campaign adviser for posting racist remarks on Facebook. Isn’t that shocking? Donald Trump has a campaign adviser.” – Conan O’Brien
“After Donald Trump gave out Lindsey Graham’s personal phone number a couple of weeks ago, the website Gawker gave out Trump’s personal cellphone number. Which backfired when Trump just speed-insulted everyone who called him: Loser. Moron. Idiot. Loser.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Donald Trump is still leading the Republican polls, with support from 19 percent of voters. Of course, it’s only a matter of time before Trump slips up and says something completely sane.” – Seth Meyers
“Jeb Bush participated in his first Spanish-language interview with Telemundo this week, where he said he’s more optimistic than the other candidates. And you can tell he’s optimistic, cuz he thinks speaking in Spanish will help him with REPUBLICANS.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Jeb Bush’s campaign and the super PACs supporting him have raised more than $120 million so far. In fact, Jeb’s campaign was this weekend’s second highest grossing ‘Mission: Impossible.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Chris Christie, John Kasich, and Rick Perry are currently fighting for the final two spots in Thursday’s Republican debate. It’s going to be tough – Chris Christie really wants those two spots.” – Jimmy Fallon
“In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that one of the jobs that prepared her to be president was sliming fish in Alaska. As opposed to Bill, who learned by catching crabs in Cancun.” – Jimmy Fallon
